posted October 14, 2013 04:36 AM            

So... me: Sun Cancer, Moon Sagitarius, Venus in Leo
him: Sun Scorpio, Moon in Cancer, Venus in Scorpio
her: Sun: Virgo, Moon in Aries and Venus in Virgo.

posted October 14, 2013 05:34 AM            

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now, I hope that things work out, or get better for you.

I can only give you my perspective as a Man.

He is telling you he wants to try and work things out.

He is still going out with this Woman who moved cities to be with him.

They are currently on Holiday together.

He was not the one that initiated discussions about fixing the relationship between you two.

He moved in with her, started to keep in touch after 2 weeks, yet is still with this Woman over 4 months later?

All of the above are things that would worry me.

Everyone is different, but it seems to me, that if he wanted to fix things with you, he would stop seeing this Woman and make a serious commitment to fixing your relationship.

Maybe he is still living with her because it's cheaper and easier than moving out, and maybe you don't want him living with you straight away. Trust issues?

However, it seems to me, that he has 'the best of both worlds' from a stereotypical 'Male player' viewpoint. He meets up with you occasionally and you two have sex. Talk about things a little bit, enough for him to keep you happy. Then he goes back to his current partner for... a few weeks, still keeping in touch now and then before meeting up with you again?

In Astrology, you and him have better Sun match. But Him and Her have better Moon and Venus matches, and their Suns are pretty good too. Of course this doesn't mean that he is better off with her. There are many more things to a relationship than astrology.

Again, I'm sorry that you're going through something like this, it can't be easy.

- Chris

posted October 14, 2013 05:58 AM            

However, it seems to me, that he has 'the best of both worlds' from a stereotypical 'Male player' viewpoint. He meets up with you occasionally and you two have sex. Talk about things a little bit, enough for him to keep you happy. Then he goes back to his current partner for... a few weeks, still keeping in touch now and then before meeting up with you again?

Thank you for your answer. Well... we lived together through all our relationship. Moved together kind of fast. Moving in with her was like this: she lived in a different city, she wanted to come here, when she heard he wants to move from here, she sent him the money for the new apartment and then she joined him. We talked about everything, not just sex. He would call me about his work, about his daily issues. First i did not know he moved in with her, and he would even call me about household chores, like market lists, blah bah blah. We talk on a daily basis for like hours.... Facebook, texts, and about anything. The only area he is more secretive about is .... the status of our relationship. I get texts and calls about he missing me, missing our live together. Before going on this holiday that was planned in the first 2 weeks of them moving in together.... he called me, i answered casual...and he started crying telling me it feels more difficult more and more each day , that he knows he acted like a jerk but he thinks if he would of stayed single we would get back together faster without understanding some things.... and ...if 2 months ago he was more reluctant about the "let's try" subject.... now he said: i don't see any reason to hold me back from this when i get back.

So.... i am confused... we did talk a little bit while he was on this trip, but i decided not to write him anything till he comes back. Give him his space.

posted October 14, 2013 09:00 AM            

When you and he split. You did not know he moved in with her?

Did you think he moved somewhere by himself, with her money?

I think being able to talk about things in general is a great thing. However, the fact that he is "secretive" about the relationship is kind of...

He thinks, that if he stayed single, you two would have gotten back together faster without talking through things?

Okay that is absolutely fine. However, that does not involve starting a relationship with someone else. That is not going to help him sort through problems with you.

Maybe he needs to be in another relationship to understand what he wants and needs, and grow as a person himself.

However, if I was in your position...

"If I stayed single I don't think we would have talked and worked on our issues, and the chance of us getting back together wouldn't exist."

I would hear,

"I'm not really that interested in working on our issues, I found another woman to occupy me, and when I get bored or need a boost, I can come and talk to you about everything, and maybe even get some sex too. This way I get to work on our issues, without having to worry if we don't work it out because I'm still in another relationship."

My friend's brother, was in a relationship, and cheated on her, then basically left her for someone new. Yet he kept going back to her, to talk to her, spend time with her and have sex with her. He did this to both of the girls. When one was upset or annoyed with him, he would go spend time with the other, and vice versa.

I am not saying that your guy is like this, nor am I saying this is what is happening. I'm just sorry that you're unhappy with what is going on. I feel like you're right to wait until he comes back to discuss how you feel and what you want from a relationship with him.

- Chris

posted October 21, 2013 04:24 PM            

If it was me... I would tell him that he either comes home now, or breaks up with the woman and moves into his own apartment. No excuses accepted.
If he chooses NOT to do those things, you choose NOT to wait for him and will be going on with your life. There will be no more sex between the two of you until you are in a mutually monogamous relationship... since that is what you want for your happiness. If he wants to remain friends while he works things out, he will need to be COMPLETELY honest with his current girlfriend about you, in order to be your friend. If he will not do that, then he can just call you when he is single.

posted October 22, 2013 10:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by cancerian14:
I made the decision two days ago. In the meantime i realized that the image of him that i have built in my mind for the past 3 years is so so wrong and he's not the man i thought he was. He's actually the man he said he never wants to be. A cheater, a liar ( he's lieing to me, to her, to his family, o his friends). He cares for nothing but him. I told him that with a smile on my face and also told him that i will move on with my life. Myself esteem was brought down by this guy, but luckly i have some good friends. He closed the door but wanted the window opened "just in case". Well...i sealed that damn window. I deserve a lot better than that. I never lied or cheated. I was always a giver.... of good feelings, of a helping hand and lots of respect for all the people i have met. I deserve to be treated the same. Thank you all for your replies. They helped.

---

posted October 23, 2013 06:03 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by sugarflapjacks:
Three years is a long time. And as cray cray as I may sound right now, I almost can "get" what he means about yall not staying single to work on issues. I can't put it into words, but it's like he wants to see if it's "him" or "you" that has issues. If he can be with someone else and still have his "issues" but yet get along with her, then maybe he ain't so bad, so to speak, and it's you where the problem lies. He could also use some of the same "scenarios" with this other woman to see how she behaves vs. how you have behaved and see which he prefers. I know none of this is ethical or fair to you, sweety, it's rather twisted, but some people think this way. Yes, he's totally having all the fun, but it will come back to bite him bigtime, and he knows that (with his sado-masochistic ass). I think you are doing the right thing. I hope when you find your next love, that it will be true and you never let this guy back in. You don't need his theory to validate that you are lovable and accepted for who you are.[/B]

---

I'm sorry, I am built entirely differently. If there are things we, me, or you need to work on. Go right ahead and work on them. I could never jump into another relationship. I would take time by myself or with my partner, to try and sort things out. Only if I felt it was irreconcilable, would I begin think of a relationship with someone else, and that is after some time for healing. If I love someone, I can't just disappear and have a relationship with someone else. I can understand that other people are built differently and can do this.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out with him Cancer, and that he wasn't who you thought he was. I hope that the future brings you some happiness and fortune, you will find someone to reciprocate your feelings. It seems you know what it is you want, and that is great. I wish you all the best, and please continue to be a member here at LL. =)

posted October 23, 2013 11:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
I'm sorry, I am built entirely differently. If there are things we, me, or you need to work on. Go right ahead and work on them. I could never jump into another relationship. I would take time by myself or with my partner, to try and sort things out. Only if I felt it was irreconcilable, would I begin think of a relationship with someone else, and that is after some time for healing. If I love someone, I can't just disappear and have a relationship with someone else. I can understand that other people are built differently and can do this.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out with him Cancer, and that he wasn't who you thought he was. I hope that the future brings you some happiness and fortune, you will find someone to reciprocate your feelings. It seems you know what it is you want, and that is great. I wish you all the best, and please continue to be a member here at LL. =)

---

posted October 24, 2013 01:35 PM            

I was raised with different priciples, with higher standards when it comes to respect and commitment. And maybe it was foolish of me to think he was the same. Clearly he wasn't. In one of our long talks 6 months before he left ...i told him that what i hate most is cheating....didn't matter the level of it. If you feel you're not ok in a relationship...just end it and move on, find your happiness, but don't cheat, don't iie, don't lead people on, and don't play with someone's heart.

Is hard to find myself in this possition, but i'll be fine in the end. Afterall.... i wasn't the liar, the quiter or the cheater.