posted November 17, 2013 01:08 PM
The problem is kinda long: I met this pisces man online. Our first date didn't go too well, mainly because he was quite shy and dorky.
The next time we met was much better, lovely date, drinks, dinner and I ended up going home with him as I warmed up to him and it felt right.
He blew hot and cold with a lot though. He enjoyed the time we spent together but seemed almost scared to go for it. I had to take the lead and suggest things. He was flaky, saying he'd want to do something and not get round to it.
He had job problems: he had a good job for years but decided he needed a new challenge. His new job was awful & made him depressed. He was between jobs when we met. He seemed happy at the unknown and about what was to come. He kept saying to me he was looking forward to getting his career & his life back on track & then he could focus on me.
Our dates were very sweet. He took me for dinner, made me dinner at home, we went to art galleries, had a similar sense of humour, he made me drinks at home, we watched comedy shows & really laughed together.
He got another job when we were together & he made us a celebratory dinner the weekend before he started. He was happy & looking forward to it. He texted me the first week he started & he seemed ok. It went down hill very quickly as the new job was bad too. His mood got low when he started his new job & instead of getting the same sweet texts, I got worried ones about his job. It was his 3rd job in a year & he was very worried. He was working 12 -13 hour shifts daily, was too tired to do anything at weekends or evenings and I understood that & never pressured him to see me.
I was sympathetic & listened to him & tried to make him feel better. He seemed to be ok when I saw him & we settled down for drinks / dinner. He would always ask how I was & showed a genuine interest in me. He was very gentle and sweet when we were together.
We had a lovely date a few weeks ago. He'd been having a rough time at work with long hours. He was up at 5am & not getting out if work until 7pm or later. He stayed in touch by text for days after our lovely last date. Then he vanished on me for nearly a week. He told me he.was having a bad week and then he vanished.
I finally asked him on text what was wrong and he text me back and said work was awful & he was not in the right frame of mind for dating anyone.
I was upset so probed further and asked did he mean not now or ever and he then said I'm a great person but he's in a bad place with his job and life and didn't want to date. He suggested he wasn't madly in love with me but we had like 5 dates ....its too early to be madly in love.
Do you think his issues stopped him feeling anything for me as he had too much going on and was too soon out of a relationship? Or do you think it was too soon after his break up and he couldn't take it?
He was also only 3 months out of a four year relationship with a depressed woman when we met. Their relationship was very dysfunctional and they broke up twice.