Author
|
Topic: Guy friend said he sees me as his "sister"
|
PrettyPisces Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Cambria heights,NY Registered: Jun 2011
|
posted November 22, 2013 09:53 AM
Guy friend says I see him as a friend and he sees me as a sister, yet he calls me everyday , stares at me ALOT, has says things like " i love our friendship and our understanding hopefully it leads elsewhere , or I need you a friend someone I can be with I'm tired of playing games, yet he'll says your brother loves you. I don't get it VERY confusing ...btw I never implied on having feelings for him ...what is your opinion? Advice?IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve Knowflake Posts: 7137 From: Registered: Dec 2010
|
posted November 22, 2013 05:34 PM
I think he likes you but is afraid of rejection, so he just calls you his "sister" (which still implies a certain closeness / emotional bond, but from an emotionally "safe" position).I don't think someone who's not ińterested would do all those things. IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 35497 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 23, 2013 02:42 PM
He's interested.IP: Logged |
andstuff Moderator Posts: 2453 From: Registered: Jun 2012
|
posted November 24, 2013 06:55 AM
When a person is so persistent as far as insisting on some fact or other goes, you can be sure the convinced party is none other than him/herself. You're on his mind a lot, to say the leastIP: Logged |
PrettyPisces Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Cambria heights,NY Registered: Jun 2011
|
posted November 29, 2013 03:33 PM
I've been interested in him, not so lately though because of disagreements, everyone tells me I should tell him how I feel but I don't think that's safe being he is very backwards one day he says the above then I'm his sister, it's misleading and causing me to somewhat to dislike him somewhat or at least distant myself for the time being IP: Logged |
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 6504 From: Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted November 29, 2013 07:49 PM
I say you flip it and call/ treat him like a brother.. His reaction to that should be telling on which way his feelings liens towards you.If he likes you, he will want to get out of the "friend zone" Before it's to late. Note: dead silence would be a give away of his feelings..
IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 35497 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 29, 2013 08:24 PM
Haha! Great advice from Lioness.IP: Logged |
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 6504 From: Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted November 30, 2013 01:47 AM
You know maybe he said that to you to see your reaction,,, lol.. But for me, I think it's the guy who needs to step up.. With if course hints from the woman... LolIn what manner did he say sister??? Honestly I did this to a guy... I asked him to do me a favor, nothing big and he did.. I said thank you, your the best homie a girl can have... Lmao!!!! After that he changed his direction, and showed me he wasn't going to accept the dreaded friend zone. IP: Logged |
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 6504 From: Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted November 30, 2013 01:47 AM
DpIP: Logged |
PrettyPisces Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Cambria heights,NY Registered: Jun 2011
|
posted November 30, 2013 11:21 AM
Yes him and I have been getting into disagreements , and he'll say things like I'm not your boyfriend and you act like the annoying girlfriend sometimes which I. Don't . But this is a guy if I don't answer my phone he calls 10-15 times per days ( when I'm at work) or last week I was on the phone with him and I was having a bad day at work so I wasn't really engaging in convo or making him laugh like I usually do and he made a comment saying he called to speak to his friend NOT the girlfriend that's having a bad day...he can be an ******* so I told him i'll talk to him later , he called me back I was on the phone with another friend and he said " why would you hang up the phone with me to get on the phone with someone , tell them you'll call them back you're on the phone with your bestfriend " btw he is a Sun cancer/ moon sag / rising Aries / and venus gemini which plays a big part and how he acts IP: Logged |
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 6504 From: Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted November 30, 2013 01:59 PM
Hummm.. Idk sounds kinda strange.. I would still flip it, when he says something like that I would say geez your worse than a bf, I would say it in a joking manner though... He sounds a bit too clingy... But at the same time he doesn't want some to be clingy with him... IP: Logged |
PrettyPisces Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Cambria heights,NY Registered: Jun 2011
|
posted November 30, 2013 07:35 PM
It is strange dare, I'm going to flip it though and he is very much so clingy and dependable a little . He' s been keeping communication light since the last incident like calling a few times a week compared to everyday . He recently called the day after thanksgiving and the day before but NOT on the holiday. I thought he was being funny but I kept it classy and asked him about his day with his family and did he called friends , he said yea. We exchange just a few words regarding what we ate and stuff about school and I went on with my nightIP: Logged |
airfairy Newflake Posts: 13 From: Austin, Texas, USA Registered: Nov 2013
|
posted December 04, 2013 11:23 PM
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, if he is saying that you are like his sister, he will not be a good boyfriend.You will be kept guessing. You will see him look at girls who definitely aren't like his sister. Tell him how you feel. Be very up front. No mind games. That is for middle schoolers. Give him the chance to be honest. But he will simply say you are like a sister, in my opinion. It seems best to move on with the friendship as a friendship ONLY. Hold back on communication for a while so you can find yourself. It will be difficult to see him as a brother, but try. IP: Logged |
PrettyPisces Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Cambria heights,NY Registered: Jun 2011
|
posted December 05, 2013 09:54 PM
I appreciate your respond. Did you read the things he was saying to me or just the title ? I'm curious . He is just weird like even when I was in college I receive something in the mail of him saying " I need you , a friend I can be with I'm tired of playing games" yet he signed it saying " your brother" along with his name. I'm afraid to ask him everything for I don't think he knows how he feels , when I'm in his presence he stares at me and then when I ask him " what's up"? He just says I'm thinking! I'm afraid " a confused mind breaks everything it touches" IP: Logged |
PixieJane Moderator Posts: 3430 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted December 05, 2013 10:19 PM
He's so clingy (which I couldn't stand in anyone for long without a compelling reason, friend, brother, lover). I wonder, did he ever lose a sister? A guy I know said he did (he and his sister being VERY close) and growing up he'd sometimes "adopt" another girl as his sister and would be like her best friend which could confuse her (and "staring" could simply be making eye contact to acknowledge your existence). He did outgrow that by the time he graduated high school but some people never outgrow the weird games they play in middle school. That aside I'm remembering how I read how some guys are drawn to women not as lovers but so they be their "true selves" (that is show their feelings and/or stereotypically feminine interests and not have the guys think bad of him), so he could see you as the person he can express himself more fully without having to put up a front for the guys. In any case he's making a lot of demands on your time, and worse he's controlling about it. Calling you the way he did was an attempt at control and showing he feels entitled to your time (that is he believes he should be your first priority) and saying you're acting like an annoying girlfriend while still demanding so much of your time is another control tactic. If you're so annoying he'd put some distance between you, that is if he wasn't trying to suffocate & control you. I think he's bad news whatever his intentions are. IP: Logged |
PrettyPisces Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Cambria heights,NY Registered: Jun 2011
|
posted December 08, 2013 12:53 PM
I agree he is clingy and I told him somedays I'm not going to be full of left . Somedays I'm going to be exhausted because of work and life obligations which in result I'm gonna sound a little dull on the phone which he defines as me acting like the gf on a bad day but yet he is NOT being realistic now mind you if I didn't answer his calls he'll call 10-15 times throughout the day . I talked to a trusted friend recently and I'm starting to resent him from all the other previous things he said and now he's trying to friend zone me... With that all being said I'm gonna let him know how I feel . If feelings are unrequited then I have to risk out friendship and move on ( their cant be a friendship) between him and I. This isn't being spiteful; this is the only way that would work for me so I can move on with my lifeIP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 82 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
|
posted December 12, 2013 07:28 PM
quote: Originally posted by PrettyPisces: " now he's trying to friend zone me...
quote: Originally posted by PrettyPisces: With that all being said I'm gonna let him know how I feel . If feelings are unrequited then I have to risk out friendship and move on ( their cant be a friendship) between him and I. This isn't being spiteful; this is the only way that would work for me so I can move on with my life
Are you romantically attracted this guy? Your post kind of reads like you want to be friends, but maybe he wants to be something more but hiding it. But the statements above sound like you don't want to be a friend, you want to be more. Cancers are very intuitive and he may already have sensed that you like him as more than a friend, but maybe not as sure. If you need peace of mind, then yes, tell him how you feel. But when you do, leave it at that. Don't continue to play patty-cake with him when it comes to your heart. He's either into you or not. If it's friendship he chooses and you can't handle it as you say, then walk away and have nothing more to do with him. If you can handle it, then when he acts all possessive and bossy about your level of attention to him say something like, "hey, I'll get back to you, bro. brothers are family, there for a lifetime." Then skip off into the sunset whistling a happy tune!IP: Logged |
PrettyPisces Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Cambria heights,NY Registered: Jun 2011
|
posted December 20, 2013 05:14 PM
I'm sorry it took me long to respond , I just saw your responce...well appreciated.i have a connection with him and so in sync that I have not experience before. I do believe this type of things comes around once in a lifetime . Sure I am up to meeting new people I'm just saying. The thing is this guy is my bestfriend which is great for both of us I'm venus in aquarius / he is venus in gemini. I'm afraid if I'm rejected I have to let our friendship go, but you're right I have to say something IP: Logged |