posted December 02, 2013 03:57 AM            

Neither of the links work for me. I don't know the situation, but maybe you should ask to talk to this person. Just be free, say what you think and feel, ask them to say what they think and feel. When all that is said, you both decide where you would like to go from there.

Sometimes this can help you get 'closure' or rather feel more balanced about the decision, to reignite your passion to fight for something you want, or to reaffirm that things between you won't quite work out. This doesn't mean you couldn't still be friends.

I guess, just ask to talk to them. You have nothing to lose by talking to them. Take the following scenarios.

You talk to them, you both decide things won't work, you part.

You don't talk to them, you decide to part ways.

You talk to them, you both decide that actually you don't want to part ways, so you don't part ways.

Either way, whether you talk to them or not, deciding to part ways happens. The only way that things might work out, if you want them to that is, is by talking to this person.

My strong recommendation and feeling, is that this may be a moment, that if you decide not to talk to them. Will be something you might re-visit at certain points in your life.

posted December 02, 2013 12:47 PM            

Literally.

If I give a list of Planets NOT Conjunct, I think it would consist of

posted December 02, 2013 10:13 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
I looked at your Transits, and it almost completely mirrors your Natal.

Literally.

If I give a list of Planets NOT Conjunct, I think it would consist of

Mercury.

---

posted December 02, 2013 10:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
I'm sorry to hear that you're not in the best of places right now. I hope things get better for you.

Neither of the links work for me. I don't know the situation, but maybe you should ask to talk to this person. Just be free, say what you think and feel, ask them to say what they think and feel. When all that is said, you both decide where you would like to go from there.

Sometimes this can help you get 'closure' or rather feel more balanced about the decision, to reignite your passion to fight for something you want, or to reaffirm that things between you won't quite work out. This doesn't mean you couldn't still be friends.

I guess, just ask to talk to them. You have nothing to lose by talking to them. Take the following scenarios.

You talk to them, you both decide things won't work, you part.

You don't talk to them, you decide to part ways.

You talk to them, you both decide that actually you don't want to part ways, so you don't part ways.

Either way, whether you talk to them or not, deciding to part ways happens. The only way that things might work out, if you want them to that is, is by talking to this person.

My strong recommendation and feeling, is that this may be a moment, that if you decide not to talk to them. Will be something you might re-visit at certain points in your life.

I wish you the best, whichever choice you make.

---

Thank you. I agreed. I called him. We spoke. Went quite well. For the first time I can breathe. I realized I wasn't looking at myself as a factor in the sense of what was happening. I lost myself a little bit , and over the space apart I gained a piece back.

posted December 03, 2013 03:52 AM            

I wouldn't worry, no one here will snort in derision about cliches. We were all 19 once, and we were all finding out and discovering things about ourselves, and still are.

When it comes to synastry, I really don't know much. There are some members here who are veritable repositories of information. But you feel how you feel, regardless of synastry. Never say never, and anything is possible.

posted December 03, 2013 05:53 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
It's easy to lose yourself in a relationship, I'm sure most of us have done it before. I know I definitely have. Like all things, we get better at loving over time. We learn the things we like want and need from our partners. We learn the things that we prefer to keep separate and independent.

I wouldn't worry, no one here will snort in derision about cliches. We were all 19 once, and we were all finding out and discovering things about ourselves, and still are.

When it comes to synastry, I really don't know much. There are some members here who are veritable repositories of information. But you feel how you feel, regardless of synastry. Never say never, and anything is possible.

---

posted December 03, 2013 08:02 PM            

If you're feeling so much anxiety and fear it probably points to something that triggers you and the reason for that is either the guy's behavior and / or your own insecurity.
You should probably look a bit more into that and see how it can be resolved.

Your guy's going through some upsetting transits: transit Pluto opposite Sun and transit Uranus square Sun. Read about them.
He'll also have transit Neptune opposite natal Mars very soon. Be careful with this one because it often leads to self-destructive behavior and issues with addiction and / or substance abuse (if there's such an inclination natally, it will be highlighted). Or just escapist tendencies and being more 'spaced out' and withdrawn.

Good luck.

posted December 03, 2013 08:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
coolingembers

If you're feeling so much anxiety and fear it probably points to something that triggers you and the reason for that is either the guy's behavior and / or your own insecurity.
You should probably look a bit more into that and see how it can be resolved.

Your guy's going through some upsetting transits: transit Pluto opposite Sun and transit Uranus square Sun. Read about them.
He'll also have transit Neptune opposite natal Mars very soon. Be careful with this one because it often leads to self-destructive behavior and issues with addiction and / or substance abuse (if there's such an inclination natally, it will be highlighted). Or just escapist tendencies and being more 'spaced out' and withdrawn.

Good luck.

-
Swift if you see this, have you received my emails? I didn't get any response so I was wondering.

---

It is related to both. I have never had an issue with anxiety. I mean, he left for a month in the past and I didn't have any anxiety. But he came back, and he changed. That was almost a full year ago. When I say changed, I mean it. Although this past month he slowly started withdrawing again. He asked for space and for some reason that set something off in me. It shouldnt of...but it did. He really did just need a little space. A week later and he was back to normal. But what happened back in January had me stuck in the mind set of fear. No logical reason. He called, he texted, he kept promises. He is still doing that. I just saw him and it was amazing! Full twenty four hours of peace... But now it's back. I know he's the source, and I've spent the past month trying to fix my fear response but its not working...

HE is going through a rough period, but its initiating my own rough period, ya know? I know its not logical and I probably sound like a dramatic teen, but quite honestly I just want my life back.

As for his transits, that scares me. Because he has already withdrawn slightly. I mean he answers my calls and texts, but i have to make plans to see each other. Yes he agrees, yes he goes through, and yes the time together is AMAZING...but I think the anxiety is of him with drawing again. I'm in so deep and I keep trying to separate him from me but I cant. How long will those nasty transits last? Especially the Uranus square sun... MiX that in with the darn retrograde .... There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. He is torn and I know it. He wants to push forward and improve his passions and accomplish goals. He feels the need to pull away a little to do so. I understand. But its hard. Because I miss him... A lot..

I am sorry for that very long rant but I am losing my mind.

posted December 04, 2013 04:56 AM            

But then he'll have Neptune/Mars (until about January 2015) and that one can be... err, problematic.

Neptune rules his DSC and Mars rules his 8H, so you can definitely expect some confusion / hesitation in terms of the relationship.

BTW you have tSaturn in the 5H - lessons in the area of romance / love. And it conjuncts NN so while it's tough ultimately it's for the best and will ensure your spiritual growth.

Just protect yourself and don't stay in a relationship if it makes you unhappy; a relationship is a two-way street.

posted December 04, 2013 06:55 AM            

I don't know how to quell those feelings of anxiety and fear. I think perhaps as you mentioned, it does have to do with your relationship partner and how you feel about him. You said you were in so deep. A lot of the time that is difficult to handle. When you feel that someone or you are so much a part of each others lives. The thought that they may not be there, can definitely cause a... 'panic attack'.

I feel that what it could be, is that you feel so emotionally connected to him, and in some ways it feels to me, emotionally dependent, that if he were to "withdraw" and disappear from your life you feel like you would really struggle to cope. And I am really sorry but I can't sit here and say, "don't worry it will be okay". It's not the end of the world, but it's going to feel terrible, it will hurt, and you will most probably be extremely upset, hurt and maybe even lost. But you can get through it, eventually. If it comes to that. I really hope it doesn't.

I guess I can say, you are your own person without him. That is something that is important to remember. You had a unique and individual life, with interests, likes and dislikes, things you did and didn't do. Before he came along. It may feel like your worlds and lives have intertwined, but you do exist as a separate person, and it is okay to exist as a separate person.

I get that you only want to be there for him, and share and be part of his journey. And in all honesty, if that is how you feel and kind of what is going on. I've been through something similar, and unfortunately, it did not work out. I know that is probably not what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth.

I know someday when I'm a father I'll have a similar approach, telling the truth in difficult situations, and I hope that it is enough.

"Daddy, why didn't Grandpa wake up?"

"Come here cupcake, *picks up and places on lap* Grandpa has moved on sweetie, to whatever lies beyond this beautiful Earth."
"He won't be coming back?"
"No sweetie, he won't."
"Ever?"
"No."
" "
"It makes daddy sad too sweetie , because I miss Grandpa a lot. He was a huge part of my life.

He brought me up, sat me on his knee, like you are on mine now. He taught me how to ride a bike, and kick a ball.

He read me bedtime stories, drove me places, bought me things.

Taught me how to jack up a car and change a tyre. How to look after myself in this wonderful wide world.

We hiked up a mountain in the Rockies together. We spent a few months traveling around parts of Canada together.

He taught me some of those jokes, that we won't tell your mother .

But I'm still sad because I miss him, and it's okay to be sad sweetie. It's okay to cry and it's okay to hurt. I just remember all of the good things that we did and it makes me smile. I don't think I'll ever stop missing him and being sad that he isn't here with us, but that's okay.

So whenever you're feeling sad, if you need a hug, or want to cry a little, I'll be here if you need me. And think about the good memories you have of Grandpa, like when you both got into trouble for eating all the cookies before Christmas Dinner last year, and I know Grandpa will be smiling right along with you."

posted December 04, 2013 07:01 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:

Swift if you see this, have you received my emails? I didn't get any response so I was wondering.

---

No, I have not received any emails. What email address are you trying to write to?

posted December 04, 2013 07:02 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
a relationship is a two-way street.

---

posted December 04, 2013 08:16 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
No, I have not received any emails. What email address are you trying to write to?

---

No way! I actually started thinking you were avoiding me. Hm, well, there was no add, actually, but I only saw it after I sent the email.
It was something like... noreplyUgrtu-5456E564REFE@plus.google.com, LOL.

posted December 04, 2013 08:37 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
No way! I actually started thinking you were avoiding me. Hm, well, there was no add, actually, but I only saw it after I sent the email.
It was something like... noreplyUgrtu-5456E564REFE@plus.google.com, LOL.

Nice post btw, as usual.
So much better than my cold-hearted response.

---

I'm not sure that is even a valid email address. Damn those unfriendly no reply people, who do they think they are!

I think what happened, is I decided to share a video for you. then it took so long that I started thinking about it, and I went and changed my mind... What is it all the cool kids do? #mutablewhatchagonnado?

So uhm, yeah hopefully there was no video eeping: cause I felt really awkward after watching everyone else look and be so wonderful. So I thought it was best not to.

I didn't know if it would still send an auto email, I kinda hoped it wouldn't, but now I've been caught with my hand in the cookie jar

Please post a reply and I will edit it out afterwards.

Oh. I hardly think your reply is cold hearted? I hardly think your demeanour on here in general is cold hearted, I don't see it that way. What makes you say that? I would rarely make such an emotional outburst, (felt like vomiting rainbows unicorns and candy), I don't know what prompted me to do so. I may very well edit that out later too.

posted December 04, 2013 08:56 AM            

I wish I could reply more in depth but I'm soooo late (mutable ASC ya know) so I have to go now.

I didn't get to see the video, was kinda bummed about it but oh well! You're safe (for now).

posted December 05, 2013 03:26 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
Hey coolingembers, that is incredibly kind of you to say, it means a lot.

I don't know how to quell those feelings of anxiety and fear. I think perhaps as you mentioned, it does have to do with your relationship partner and how you feel about him. You said you were in so deep. A lot of the time that is difficult to handle. When you feel that someone or you are so much a part of each others lives. The thought that they may not be there, can definitely cause a... 'panic attack'.

I feel that what it could be, is that you feel so emotionally connected to him, and in some ways it feels to me, emotionally dependent, that if he were to "withdraw" and disappear from your life you feel like you would really struggle to cope. And I am really sorry but I can't sit here and say, "don't worry it will be okay". It's not the end of the world, but it's going to feel terrible, it will hurt, and you will most probably be extremely upset, hurt and maybe even lost. But you can get through it, eventually. If it comes to that. I really hope it doesn't.

I guess I can say, you are your own person without him. That is something that is important to remember. You had a unique and individual life, with interests, likes and dislikes, things you did and didn't do. Before he came along. It may feel like your worlds and lives have intertwined, but you do exist as a separate person, and it is okay to exist as a separate person.

I get that you only want to be there for him, and share and be part of his journey. And in all honesty, if that is how you feel and kind of what is going on. I've been through something similar, and unfortunately, it did not work out. I know that is probably not what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth.

I know someday when I'm a father I'll have a similar approach, telling the truth in difficult situations, and I hope that it is enough.

"Daddy, why didn't Grandpa wake up?"

"Come here cupcake, *picks up and places on lap* Grandpa has moved on sweetie, to whatever lies beyond this beautiful Earth."
"He won't be coming back?"
"No sweetie, he won't."
"Ever?"
"No."
" "
"It makes daddy sad too sweetie , because I miss Grandpa a lot. He was a huge part of my life.

He brought me up, sat me on his knee, like you are on mine now. He taught me how to ride a bike, and kick a ball.

He read me bedtime stories, drove me places, bought me things.

Taught me how to jack up a car and change a tyre. How to look after myself in this wonderful wide world.

We hiked up a mountain in the Rockies together. We spent a few months traveling around parts of Canada together.

He taught me some of those jokes, that we won't tell your mother .

But I'm still sad because I miss him, and it's okay to be sad sweetie. It's okay to cry and it's okay to hurt. I just remember all of the good things that we did and it makes me smile. I don't think I'll ever stop missing him and being sad that he isn't here with us, but that's okay.

So whenever you're feeling sad, if you need a hug, or want to cry a little, I'll be here if you need me. And think about the good memories you have of Grandpa, like when you both got into trouble for eating all the cookies before Christmas Dinner last year, and I know Grandpa will be smiling right along with you."

---

You are a really good person. What you said got more through to me than advice I've had thrown at me lately.

I really appreciate i. I ended up in the hospital today and they gave me some stuff to slow my heart rate. I can breathe and think now, and feel so much better.

My cancer man is withdrawing again, but not that the physical symptoms of fear are fading I'm more in control and am not letting it control my life.

I love him to death, but cloning won't keep him. I know he loves me too but he has too many issues with depression and himself to treat me like I want to be treated. Currently stuck in limbo, because while he isn't giving me some of the things I crave, he is also giving me things I never dreamed of. Patience is the way to go. I hope this feeling lasts.

posted December 05, 2013 03:32 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
His Sun will be squared by Uranus until February/March 2014.

But then he'll have Neptune/Mars (until about January 2015) and that one can be... err, problematic.

Neptune rules his DSC and Mars rules his 8H, so you can definitely expect some confusion / hesitation in terms of the relationship.

BTW you have tSaturn in the 5H - lessons in the area of romance / love. And it conjuncts NN so while it's tough ultimately it's for the best and will ensure your spiritual growth.

Just protect yourself and don't stay in a relationship if it makes you unhappy; a relationship is a two-way street.

---

Don't call your post negative. Its the truth. Truth sorta hurts but this hurts and all those transits did was shed some light on why. He is pulling away, fighting to finds himself and his path. It hurts, but he always touches base to let me know he cares. He's fighting through it, and while I'm not really happy now... Its always darkest before the dawn right. For better or worse. He's having a hard time, and I miss him. As long as we still have mutual respect and fight for each other, it will be okay... That's what I keep trying to tell myself at least c;

I really do appreciate the honesty , thank you! <3

posted December 05, 2013 10:28 AM            

You're a very perceptive person and it sounds like you understand the situation you're in, which is always a good thing. You will know what to do.

I believe everything will turn out okay for you, no matter what happens.