posted December 02, 2013 01:56 PM            

From what I read, as you both are only 22 years old, I don't know what your boyfriend's financial situation is right now. I think this may be more of what is influencing your boyfriend to break up with you. He is unable to "fix" things.

You said when you and he are together, your relationship is strong (despite disagreements or such). You also said that your most recent argument that led to this breakup is a result of you saying to him that he is not giving you as much attention as you desire and a picture of him on facebook with a female friend. So, based on these facts, let me share with you what I think.

I am an older woman (54) so I can see a bigger picture and I hope this helps. All the reasons you state that led to this breakup could be a result of your boyfriend not being able to do anything to fix the situation that is making you unhappy. That situation is a result of the distance and your insecurity. This distance between you and the financial expense of being able to spend time together could be stressful for him. Stressful, not that he doesn't want to spend as much time as possible with you, but more that he can not afford it?

You said he always paid, he buys you expensive gifts, etc. You said you sent/gave money to help (that is very nice of you, dont get me wrong). Since your boyfriend said he would rather be alone, says to me that he is NOT interested in another girl, he wants YOU, but he may not be able to have you due to circumstances (financial AND your insecurities).

While he has blocked you and is not answering your emails, it could be because he doesn't know what to say and you are blaming him for everything (which isn't fair, because it is YOUR insecurity issues, not his, darlin').

I think you should sit back, and get hold of your emotions and write him another email that does not point the finger at him, but makes him feel good about having you in his life because HE IS DOING THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, not that make you feel bad!) (caps for emphasis, not to yell)

After this soulful letter, sit your butt back and WAIT until you hear from him. While waiting, work on this insecurity. He has done NOTHING to make you feel insecure. Three YEARS with a man as young as he is and he has NOT cheated on you??! That's impressive my dear.

Not taking anything from you, because you were faithful too. But you have to make this man feel good about you being in his life. Not as your girlfriend says to him "you will never find another girl like her". That's not exactly true if you are an insecure emotional mess (MANY woman are like that, so he can take his pick!). You need to be the one who is confident in yourself and in HIM wanting to be with YOU and if he could would move heaven an earth to be with you. NOT make him feel like a failure because he can not be with you as much as you want.

There is nothing wrong with letting your sweetheart know that you want to hear from him or would like to share your days highs and lows with him as you have been over the last Three years, but there is a WAY TO DO IT, that will draw him TO YOU, not make him run away.

I know that was long. Didn't mean it to be. I am hoping you two will work this out. Your story sounds so lovely.

Although I'm a newbie too, Welcome to Lindaland! There are some beautiful people here who I'm sure have better advice than me, so stay tuned

All will be well.

posted December 02, 2013 03:20 PM            

Sorry for your hurt, first of all. I know how it feels to want someone to pay more attention to you than you are getting.

however, his moon is in Aquarius. This could mean that he feels restricted to the routine you seem to have in place of talking over the internet and then meeting up for a period of time. It went well in the past, but maybe something is telling him that he is feeling boxed in to a routine that is getting repetitive, and as an Aquarius Sun, I can vouch that getting tired of routine is a red flag.

Your best bet is to let him have his space, get his mind and heart in order. The only way for him to do this is to feel like you trust his judgement, and that you will give him time and freedom to feel things out.

Trust in the love you have for him. That is all you can do. Go a few days/weeks/ without talking, even though it sounds terrible and sad. If he misses you they way he ought to if it is meant to be, then he will email you and say so!

You may feel that you are meant for each other, but does that matter if your partner does not feel the same way? It is impossible to force a feeling on someone else. He must arrive to the conclusion himself.

posted December 09, 2013 11:09 AM            

Anyway, I have an update for you.
I didn't send him anymore messages and just basically got on with my life and the important work i'm doing, then just yesterday, he unblocks me from his facebook and sends me a friend request - wtf? what's that all about?
I have not accepted it or said a word to him either. I'm just thinking of letting him sit there and i'll not say anything, just carry on with my life and ignore him.
see, he was actually mean to me at times and it was very nasty. disgusting, inconsiderate, selfish and uncaring. So i'm just thinking of the times he was a complete nasty piece of work and i'm asking myself, do I really want to give myself to someone like that? I think I want and deserve a lot better. As for my insecurities, that was caused by him. I was never insecure until he made me that way.

I've met a guy through my mum's work. I like him and i want to go about with him.
He's a capricorn and we're the same age also.

posted December 09, 2013 04:34 PM            

People usually come crawling back when you leave them alone, from my experiences!

"see, he was actually mean to me at times and it was very nasty. disgusting, inconsiderate, selfish and uncaring. So i'm just thinking of the times he was a complete nasty piece of work and i'm asking myself, do I really want to give myself to someone like that? I think I want and deserve a lot better."

This is a good thought process. Know your self worth! If you find it in your heart to forgive him (and he NEEDS to humbly apologize for treating you badly), then maybe you can try again. But if you're starting to get over him, staying away is best. I have also noticed that some men usually will come crawling back at the worst time, when you're actually starting to heal, and they want to rip the scab off, give you hope, and then let you down again. To flatter their own egos. I don't know what's going on in HIS head, but these are the reasons why Facebook is stupid.

"And I don't really care. I think i'll just make him squirm and just ignore him, i've got better things to do with my time than spend it on him. Also, he hasn't said anything or apologised, so he can forget it.
unblocks me and sends me a friend request, thinks i'm going to respond? he can think again cause i'm not easy like that. try harder."