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Author Topic:   so upset..what is it that every person i fall for rips my heart out..patterns.
luckystar25
Knowflake

Posts: 62
From: boston mass
Registered: Jan 2014

posted February 16, 2014 01:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for luckystar25     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Im such a positive happy giving loving person..i dont even wear my heart on my sleeve, at all, and i only go for someone when my hearts fully in it, and its just pain..i dont understand, and im not even the kind that plays victim, im very strong but im sick of this. My first love of 3 years who i was engaged to secretly ****** me over repeatedly behind my back, and did horrible things, and walked away from me in the end after i gave my all..came back after 6 years and married to say he made a mistake, and id never ever go back, so twisted, love was gone. 2Nd was soo good and then **** on me so bad, and put me down and was horrible..last straw was when he put his hands on me, and that was 3 years ago..never went back and still stalks me. The 3rd right now is breaking my heart, and i thought i finally found a good one..after a year hes emotionally not there, and its hurting me to the point of being upset, but now i swear he likes someone he works with and thats my breaking point. I am in peices..im such a good girl, im funny, not clingy at all because i like my own space, i work, i dont expect anything (materialistic), im pretty, i have a good head on my shoulders..wtf is it, at this point i cant..i just dont know..like the rest is this one going to realize what he lost when its too late..why this pattern..anyone else..this is my heart break crying for help at this point..

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Gracha
Knowflake

Posts: 126
From: NY USA
Registered: Jan 2013

posted February 16, 2014 06:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gracha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by luckystar25:
Im such a positive happy giving loving person..i dont even wear my heart on my sleeve, at all, and i only go for someone when my hearts fully in it, and its just pain..i dont understand, and im not even the kind that plays victim, im very strong but im sick of this. My first love of 3 years who i was engaged to secretly ****** me over repeatedly behind my back, and did horrible things, and walked away from me in the end after i gave my all..came back after 6 years and married to say he made a mistake, and id never ever go back, so twisted, love was gone. 2Nd was soo good and then **** on me so bad, and put me down and was horrible..last straw was when he put his hands on me, and that was 3 years ago..never went back and still stalks me. The 3rd right now is breaking my heart, and i thought i finally found a good one..after a year hes emotionally not there, and its hurting me to the point of being upset, but now i swear he likes someone he works with and thats my breaking point. I am in peices..im such a good girl, im funny, not clingy at all because i like my own space, i work, i dont expect anything (materialistic), im pretty, i have a good head on my shoulders..wtf is it, at this point i cant..i just dont know..like the rest is this one going to realize what he lost when its too late..why this pattern..anyone else..this is my heart break crying for help at this point..

Hi luckystar25! You say you don't wear your heart on your sleeve but puts your all into a relationship. Maybe you need to find a balance. It's okay to be open emotionally just make sure you feel comfortable with what you give out. How about not giving your "all" until these guys show they're willing to do the same. You give what you can but never your all because most times you won't get that in return. Have you talked to your current partner about his work crush and told him your feelings on the situation?


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luckystar25
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Posts: 62
From: boston mass
Registered: Jan 2014

posted February 16, 2014 10:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for luckystar25     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No because im afraid of the answer..and most likely hes going to lie to me, and i literally know when someones lying by my gut instinct. Just that his mood changes after he talks to her, like so happy and cheerful..and sad part is i dont even know how old she is, she could be 40 for all i know..doesnt change the fact that his energy and mood changes you know?..mayb i am overreacting due to the fact that hes so not an emotional person at all(hes a virgo) and i am a pisces.(opposites) i can always tell how someone feels, but him, its so difficult

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Sibyl
Knowflake

Posts: 36
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted February 16, 2014 11:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sibyl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think that's just life to be honest. I know it sucks, but you just can't expect it to always work out. At least you have no regrets and so should be able to move on and chances are it WILL work out next time.

Although I would say if all your guys have turned out to be shitheads then maybe you should revisit the kind of guys that you go for? Or possibly the signals that you send. If you keep attracting these kinds of guys then maybe you're sending off the vibe that you're the kind of person who will put up with their **** .

Believe me when I say I don't mean to be critical, but I don't think you need someone telling you that "everything will work out" and "it's their fault, not yours". Of course they are responsible for their behaviour, but that kind of approach is simply not very constructive.

You should watch this;
"When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them",
By Oprah. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTiziwBhd54

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Londongirl8
Knowflake

Posts: 97
From: London
Registered: Dec 2012

posted February 17, 2014 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Londongirl8     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:

Although I would say if all your guys have turned out to be shitheads then maybe you should revisit the kind of guys that you go for? Or possibly the signals that you send. If you keep attracting these kinds of guys then maybe you're sending off the vibe that you're the kind of person who will put up with their **** .

Believe me when I say I don't mean to be critical, but I don't think you need someone telling you that "everything will work out" and "it's their fault, not yours". Of course they are responsible for their behaviour, but that kind of approach is simply not very constructive.


Good advice. Unfortunately people tend to make the same mistakes over and over again and then wonder why they reach the same outcome. I have a few Pisces friend (male and female) who seem to attract partners who walk all over them! This isn't co-incidence - step back and really think about the type of men you allow in your life

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Odette
Knowflake

Posts: 3579
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted February 17, 2014 07:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I think that's just life to be honest.

My thoughts on this are... that you can only make a relationship last for a long time - like a decade or two decades or more... if you learn to put up with the other person's bs.. compromise to some extent and forgive/forget certain things.
The people who have been together a lifetime have usually learnt to be very tolerant of each other.

But it's true that there has to be a balance.. some things are tolerable and some are not.. and it takes two to try to make things work. It depends on the synastry/composite and transits as well. You have to find someone who you can love as well as "put up with".

No one is going to be perfect and it's all subjective anyway. Whatever your current S/O is doing that you find very upsetting.. might be only mildly upsetting to another woman. We all have priorities and standards and they differ. So you need to be with someone whose flaws and imperfections and personal brand of 'occasional crappy behaviour' - will not greatly upset you.

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Gracha
Knowflake

Posts: 126
From: NY USA
Registered: Jan 2013

posted February 19, 2014 11:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gracha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by luckystar25:
No because im afraid of the answer..and most likely hes going to lie to me, and i literally know when someones lying by my gut instinct. Just that his mood changes after he talks to her, like so happy and cheerful..and sad part is i dont even know how old she is, she could be 40 for all i know..doesnt change the fact that his energy and mood changes you know?..mayb i am overreacting due to the fact that hes so not an emotional person at all(hes a virgo) and i am a pisces.(opposites) i can always tell how someone feels, but him, its so difficult

Hm, I've seen a few virgo male pisces female couplings. Id say trust your gut. Talk to him about your concerns. I personally would probably snoop, but thats me so I'm not advising you to do this. On second thought, if he's not forthcoming after talking to him, then id look through his phone or social media accounts. A woman's intuition is powerful.

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