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Author Topic:   Should I at least give her a chance?
Brobian
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: Brewster , Ohio USA
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 17, 2014 04:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brobian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have only been in one relationship my entire life. I'm 36 years old and have been single since my divorce in 2005. My divorce had left me beaten, battered, and sorely bruised, so I erected massive walls around my heart, to protect myself. This walls are so massive that no one is getting past them.

I met a woman a few weeks ago. Honestly, she is amazing. I actually feel all tingly inside when I'm around her, almost like she stimulates my heart. This petrifies me, I mean it scares the crap out of me so bad that I just wanna run away.
Most people have a conscience, I actually have two, no lie. There are two people who tell me where to go and what to do. The one is telling me to open up, let her in, give her a chance and see what happens. However, the other demands I run. Run away you fool, she is gonna tear your heart out just like that last one did, it says.


What would you guys do?

------------------
Sun in Gemini - Moon in Pisces - Ascendant Scorpio

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ash20
Knowflake

Posts: 323
From:
Registered: Mar 2013

posted March 17, 2014 10:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ash20     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You should at least try or you may regret it later. Unless you want to be alone forever you have to take that risk of getting hurt. We all do. Just try to be more optimistic and dont expect too much.. Go with the flow

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ash20
Knowflake

Posts: 323
From:
Registered: Mar 2013

posted March 17, 2014 10:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ash20     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dont let her miss out on a good thing!

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Brobian
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: Brewster , Ohio USA
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 17, 2014 10:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brobian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ash20:
Dont let her miss out on a good thing!

But what if I misjudge? What if I give my everything, only to have it ripped away? The pain from that could kill me. I'm too sensitive, you have no idea of the hurt she can cause me.

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ash20
Knowflake

Posts: 323
From:
Registered: Mar 2013

posted March 17, 2014 11:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ash20     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And you have no idea of the joy she can bring you.. But if you only want to think of the negative then you're right, you shouldnt bother with her because you need to deal with your own issues first. You need to find a way to bring down your own walls

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Brobian
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: Brewster , Ohio USA
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 17, 2014 11:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brobian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ash20:
And you have no idea of the joy she can bring you.. But if you only want to think of the negative then you're right, you shouldnt bother with her because you need to deal with your own issues first. You need to find a way to bring down your own walls

You are absolutely right, and I finally am starting to realize that. That's why I'm here and your words are very helpful to me. I've been holding it all in for so long, I just need someone to listen to me. People in my life would laugh at me, so I've came here

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Sibyl
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Posts: 378
From: Uranus
Registered: Dec 2010

posted March 17, 2014 11:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sibyl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If you don't play... You're never gonna win. It's that simple :-) I tried the running away thing, it doesn't work. It just leaves you in limbo, and it's a pretty sucky place to be.

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ash20
Knowflake

Posts: 323
From:
Registered: Mar 2013

posted March 17, 2014 11:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ash20     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I never mind listening if someone needs it and I know what it's like to have no one to talk to so i'm happy to help.

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Brobian
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: Brewster , Ohio USA
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 18, 2014 12:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brobian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ash20:
I never mind listening if someone needs it and I know what it's like to have no one to talk to so i'm happy to help.


I've always had my children to keep me in line, when there in my sight, I know the man I'm expected to be. I still have them, but they are quickly becoming adults. They don't really need dad around anymore so dad is finding himself alone.

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charmainec
Moderator

Posts: 8043
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 18, 2014 03:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charmainec     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Even though you have suffered heartache, allow your heart to remain open and give it shot. Who knows? Loves hits when least expected. At least you tried and won't wonder later about the "what if's".

Best wishes.

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usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 59
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 18, 2014 06:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
this Pisces moon of yours is taking over.....don't listen to it.

i say go for it and if you do get hurt.. build the Atlantic Wall..(German: Atlantikwall)

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Brobian
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: Brewster , Ohio USA
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 19, 2014 01:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brobian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by usc277:
this Pisces moon of yours is taking over.....don't listen to it.

i say go for it and if you do get hurt.. build the Atlantic Wall..(German: Atlantikwall)


I build the Atlantic wall some years ago lol, now it won't come back down.

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usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 59
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 19, 2014 06:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Brobian:
I build the Atlantic wall some years ago lol, now it won't come back down.

you have to keep getting up every time your knocked down..you wont die if she hurts you...you will just move onto the next woman...you only live once and its short..be positive and don't fall into the " what if" category.

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Brobian
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: Brewster , Ohio USA
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 19, 2014 08:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brobian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are right and it's reduce loud that I just automatically push everyone away. However, I am very sensitive and I know I am. You honestly have no idea. If I run over and animals with my car, it'll bring tears to my eyes and then my heart will ache for a week.

I need to lower my walls, but at the same time I need to make sure she's a good person that has a good heart.

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Brobian
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: Brewster , Ohio USA
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 19, 2014 08:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brobian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Pain

I seen you in the distance.
You were just standing there.
I knew that very instant.
A life with you, I could share.

Though, first I sadly say.
That a pain, I have inside.
It's standing in the way.
From you being by my side.

I'm haunted by the dreams.
My life lived long ago.
It just never really seems.
That they will ever go.

A new life I'm now living.
Yet the pain it does remain.
After all I have given.
It sticks just like a stain.

My heart was badly broken.
This soul so deeply crushed.
Hun this must be spoken.
This hurt needs to be flushed.

I have a small suggestion.
This I prey you understand.
Here I have a few questions.
To tell me where you stand.

Would you smile at the sight.
When I'm standing in the light.
Would you with all your might.
Love me each and every night.

Would you read aloud my poems.
Not denounce them with distaste.
Would I be sheltered in your dome.
Not left out with the waste.

Now if I'm feeling blue.
What exactly would you do.
Yet if I'm walking with you.
Would my hand meet yours too.

Down inside my heart I have.
A love that's so very deep.
If it to you I gave.
Would it you truly keep.

To you I'd give my life.
I'd keep you safe and well.
Nor would i cause you strife.
Hun I'd be there if you fell.

Just know that in my time.
There is one thing I've learned.
Deep inside my organic rime.
Lies this fright of being burned.

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usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 59
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 19, 2014 09:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Brobian:
You are right and it's reduce loud that I just automatically push everyone away. However, I am very sensitive and I know I am. You honestly have no idea. If I run over and animals with my car, it'll bring tears to my eyes and then my heart will ache for a week.

I need to lower my walls, but at the same time I need to make sure she's a good person that has a good heart.



most of us are sensitive..i ran over a cat the other day by mistake..got out of my car and watcedh her toss and turn as she died..stood helpless as i was driving less than 20 mph and it was an accident, she jumped right in front of me...i didn't know what to do,,itrid to be positive about it..so i looked for a poor person on the streets and gave him 30$...

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Brobian
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: Brewster , Ohio USA
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 19, 2014 10:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brobian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by usc277:

most of us are sensitive..i ran over a cat the other day by mistake..got out of my car and watcedh her toss and turn as she died..stood helpless as i was driving less than 20 mph and it was an accident, she jumped right in front of me...i didn't know what to do,,itrid to be positive about it..so i looked for a poor person on the streets and gave him 30$...

Aww, I'm actually quite impressed lol. I love too just randomly help people, it's pretty awesome.

Yeah but I'm a guy, guys are suppose to be all sniff sniff sensitive.

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Gabby
Moderator

Posts: 3245
From:
Registered: Sep 2012

posted March 19, 2014 11:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
5 years from now.....when you run into a 2nd girl that breaks through your walls and stimulates your heart, do you want to be making the exact same post on this forum explaining about how you need help?
Your ex hurt you so bad that you haven't been able to open up to anyone since and now your in your 40's and alone, you think you missed out on the love of your life, this girl, because you got scared??
And now you want help again, but this time you will listen and won't let another girl get away.
You deserve better than living alone forever because some woman didn't appreciate you...if she hurt you and tortured you, why are continuing what she started?


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usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 59
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 20, 2014 06:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
5 years from now.....when you run into a 2nd girl that breaks through your walls and stimulates your heart, do you want to be making the exact same post on this forum explaining about how you need help?
Your ex hurt you so bad that you haven't been able to open up to anyone since and now your in your 40's and alone, you think you missed out on the love of your life, this girl, because you got scared??
And now you want help again, but this time you will listen and won't let another girl get away.
You deserve better than living alone forever because some woman didn't appreciate you...if she hurt you and tortured you, why are continuing what she started?



well said..it has to do with loving yourself,,many on this forum say you cant love someone until you love your self first...maybe you love yourself by building this nazi wall...but i see that as a weakness...your a gemini. i thought they were strong enough..put on your other face..i hear gemini's are 2 faced..lool

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JustAmanda1216
Knowflake

Posts: 97
From: Virginia
Registered: Nov 2010

posted March 20, 2014 01:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JustAmanda1216     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Divorce is a horrible thing to go through for any person. It is the death of a relationship, like half of you has been ripped away from the body. And it certainly takes time to heal. I think 9 years should be sufficient time and I think it's a good idea to put yourself out there a bit. There's nothing wrong with inviting this lady to coffee? Maybe a light dinner?

One thing I have found as I've been divorced twice, the 2nd time being the absolute hardest, was when you enter into a new relationship, try to keep from talking about your ex spouse and your marriage and what happened. It's almost always negative, and that isn't how you want a new relationship to begin is it? In the negative?

So try as much as you can to refrain from talking about that until you know the other person a little better you know? I'm not saying never speak of it, but get to know the person first...some people really don't want to know...others do...so, use time to figure that out...

Good luck!

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LoadedPistil
Knowflake

Posts: 631
From: NJ, USA
Registered: Feb 2014

posted March 24, 2014 01:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LoadedPistil     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm seeing a Pisces Sun Gemini Ascendant and he's very guarded. At times, his feelings slip out. If she makes you do this, I say you can go far. Let your heart off the leash slowly and most of all, TELL HER YOURE GOING SLOW.

------------------
Leo ♌️ Sun
Scorpio ♏ Moon
Cancer ♋ Rising
Svātī Nakshatra

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LoadedPistil
Knowflake

Posts: 631
From: NJ, USA
Registered: Feb 2014

posted March 24, 2014 01:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LoadedPistil     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
5 years from now.....when you run into a 2nd girl that breaks through your walls and stimulates your heart, do you want to be making the exact same post on this forum explaining about how you need help?
Your ex hurt you so bad that you haven't been able to open up to anyone since and now your in your 40's and alone, you think you missed out on the love of your life, this girl, because you got scared??
And now you want help again, but this time you will listen and won't let another girl get away.
You deserve better than living alone forever because some woman didn't appreciate you...if she hurt you and tortured you, why are continuing what she started?


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AscTaurus
Knowflake

Posts: 878
From: Pretoria, Gauteng,South Africa
Registered: May 2009

posted March 27, 2014 03:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AscTaurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Brobian:
I have only been in one relationship my entire life. I'm 36 years old and have been single since my divorce in 2005. My divorce had left me beaten, battered, and sorely bruised, so I erected massive walls around my heart, to protect myself. This walls are so massive that no one is getting past them.

I met a woman a few weeks ago. Honestly, she is amazing. I actually feel all tingly inside when I'm around her, almost like she stimulates my heart. This petrifies me, I mean it scares the crap out of me so bad that I just wanna run away.
Most people have a conscience, I actually have two, no lie. There are two people who tell me where to go and what to do. The one is telling me to open up, let her in, give her a chance and see what happens. However, the other demands I run. Run away you fool, she is gonna tear your heart out just like that last one did, it says.


What would you guys do?


A Gemini Sun sign with just one relationship their whole lives? Really?

But I also see that you have a Scorpio Ascending- Pisces Moon, so that could have greatly modified the nature.

I always think that if you feel ready to give love another try, don't sit around and wait for an invitation. Go ahead!

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