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Author Topic:   How to get rid of karmic attachment?
ueharaa
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posted May 11, 2014 11:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would like to apologize beforehand for how pathetic and desperate and maybe over-sensitive I am going to sound.

I met this guy 5 years ago, and it was a sort of instant attraction/love at first sight. Long story short: nothing happened, he was taken and we both moved away. And ever since I seem to be just stuck on him.

I couldn't get him out of my mind the first two years. I was so obsessed I honestly had no idea one could obsess that much on something. It took me a really long and hard time to diminish the level of this obsession. I had kept in touch with him casually and learned he had a kid. This news set in motion some powerful forces that put me through a sort of emotional hell as I realized that I would never see him or be with him.
At the same time I was undergoing some huge personal life changes. The years that followed were really heavy and just sad. I experienced failure after failure and fell more deeply into a depressed state. I was up until recently in therapy because of all those things (not just him but because how things turned out). Over a year ago, I decided I would never asked for news from him again. Or by any means get in touch with him again. This had worked quite well. i still missed him from time to time but it was much more bearable.

Yet, just lately, the idiot that I am liked some of his social network status, which prompted him to contact me, to which I replied.
And at this point, if you're being highly disappointed and thinking how childish, pathetic and desperate I must be, then I beg you to please bear with me.
Because my point is this was enough to send me back into my old habits of trying to find the answers to questions that don't matter in the end (such as what am I to him? what does he think? ...And I know he won't answer. Just when I had begun to accept that I was not important to him and that this was the past and blah..I find myself drawn back into this black hole! And I don't want this which is why I need a solution to cut this karmic link or whatever it is.

I want to be free,I want to be happy and have a sense of self that doesn't revolve around him, I want to be able to fall in love with someone else.
I don't understand what the hell this "connection" is about but it's brought too much tears and pain for me to follow through (and nothing ever happened!!)

I don't get my reactions to him, this is not me. When I miss him, it is like missing some dear family member that would understand me and love me unconditionally.
I am rather able to cut people off without it being emotionally difficult for me. I can be rather detached sometimes. I don't understand why he's so important to me.
Is that some sort of huge karma payback thing? How do I get rid of it so I can be myself again? Am I going to be all of my life haunted by his memory?

I am truly sorry for the long post but if anyone has lived something similar then I would appreciate the feedback as I feel like I am a bit insane for being attached this much to someone who shouldn't matter.

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ueharaa
Knowflake

Posts: 607
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Registered: Sep 2011

posted May 11, 2014 11:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
[img]https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7395/13979397050_6f7e220809_b.jpg[/img]chart synastry geo by nausicaa7f, on Flickr

And this is the geo synastry if someone wants to take a look at it and sort out what ype of karma it is.

[img]https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7386/13979390547_12b0aa5ee4_b.jpg[/img]chart synastry draco by nausicaa7f, on Flickr

and the draco synastry could maybe enlighten something...

I am on the inside for both and I don't know his time of birth.

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ueharaa
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posted May 12, 2014 08:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
no one has ever experienced this?

does this mean I am insane?

I know it sounds like I am exaggerating but honestly if anyone has any tiny bit of advice as to what can be done to ease all of this, I would be much more than grateful.

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SDragon
Moderator

Posts: 298
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted May 12, 2014 10:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SDragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just a question, in the chart, are you blue or red?

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ueharaa
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posted May 12, 2014 10:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am the blue one.

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SDragon
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From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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posted May 12, 2014 11:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SDragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh, sorry, you did mention that you were on the inside. Ok, it does seem karmic in a sense.

Your jupiter (r) and venus (r), both being in retrograde denote bringing something from your past that needs to be released or forgiven. The fact that both aspect his saturn and that your venus (r) opposites his jupiter, I get the feeling that the past life was not a happy one.

My intuition wants to say that you were a limiting factor in his happiness, either because you were too demanding or controlling. He really did love you, which is why you feel the way you do, but regardless of the past, this life, your paths are different.

His NN is opposite your ascendant and being in Capricorn, he's learning to be more self-sufficient, finding out what he can do on his own, so to speak.

In your own chart, do you have a Yod between Mars, Venus and Jupiter? This isn't karmic payback or a life of depression. All the forces are for the evolution and growth of the soul, there is no punishment. But you will need to forgive yourself for whatever happened in the past and the fastest way to move on is to accept the fact that he can be happy without you and that you want him to be happy - whether he's in your life or not. I know - easier said than done.

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SDragon
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posted May 12, 2014 11:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SDragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also, don't forget, past lives aren't always lovers, you could have been his mother in a past life where you controlled him or where he became overtly dependent on you, but you later regretted it knowing that you didn't help him became the best that he could be.

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ueharaa
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posted May 12, 2014 12:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes I do have a boomerang yod in my own chart. between venus, jupiter and mars. My sun and uranus oppose jupiter which makes it a boomerang. But to be honest I have never been able to pinpoint the meaning behind it. I have only recently noticed that jupiter in the 12th house might explain why I am way too emotional for someone with that much cap in her chart.
As for karma, i had never looked at my venus and jupiter retrograde together. I somehow sensed the venus retrograde in the 7th meaning that there are some karmic issues related to love and relationships (which is true as this is a sensitive subject for me) but I didn't consider that it was part of a bigger theme.
You know, I do feel there is some punishment, not related to that person alone but to everything that has happened. The past years have been a real struggle and i'm still struggling. And I can't help but think of him as the great catalyst of those events. Meeting him and parting ways overwhelmed me with such intense pain it doesn't even make sense. I remember thinking "I know this pain, and it is happening all over again, and I won't survive this". And even though I can be quite sensitive emotionally I am not that dramatic usually.
This whole thing feels so strange I don't dare talk about this to anyone because I fear they would think I am crazy.
I know he is happy as he is right now. But what tires me is that I carry this pain everyday and it takes a lot of energy to just get by in spite of it.
Maybe I should try cutting "chords"? I heard it can be effective.

Thank you a lot for your insights I am going to really think about what you said. I had never thought about the possibility of him being my child in a former life because of the physical attraction I had to him, and also because I hold this subconscious belief that family members reincarnate among the same family.

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SDragon
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From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted May 12, 2014 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SDragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here's something from Martin Schulman's Karmic Astrology on Retrograde Jupiter in the 12th House:

Here the individual spends much time soul searching in order to reach his inner being. He often makes the mistake of thinking that others can help him know himself better than he already does. In truth it is easy for him to know his inner self, but often it can be so easy that he attempts to use the other planets in the chart thinking that he must seek some great mystery beyond what he thinks he is capable of comprehending. The wealth he achieves through life is built upon an inner sureness of himself which, although it does not always appear to mesh with the outer world, gives him unbounded understanding of his inner being. This is a very Karmic position for Jupiter as the individual will learn ultimately to understand the truth about his past incarnations, and thus the reason for his present life. He is sometimes too harsh on himself and he must learn to judge himself fairly and through his higher mind if he is to be comfortable with his soul. This placement makes life very introspective, as much time is spent in Phase III of the Retrograde process. Still, an inner wisdom, coming from unseen spiritual guidance pervades the entire life style, as soon as the person is ready to draw on his inner wealth. Most of the time, his knowledge is beyond the words he can find to communicate all he knows. But, he does communicate very well on telepathic levels.

Retrograde Jupiter in Cancer:

Here the individual is most comfortable in Phase III of the Retrograde Process in which he keeps trying to re-expand the child-like qualities from his past. He goes through life with a type of innocence believing himself to be unsophisticated. Thus, he has a great deal of difficulty during adult life because living in the present tends to pull him out of a time period which may have represented more freedom than his current reality. His concept of truth has always been more emotional than mental. And, as a result, he does not respond well to reason but instead tries to develop all his awareness from his emotions. This tends to re-emphasize his child-like qualities. During adult life, there is a tendency to limit the expansive qualities of Jupiter within the confines of past experiences. As the planet's energies tries to expand, the individual feels the Cancerian need to enclose. Meanwhile, the Retrograde motion of Jupiter pushes this entire conflict not only inward, but also backward into the past. Thus, the person goes through emotional and mental conflict at the same time. His memories are often exaggerated as he tries to express himself. And, he tends to repeat his experiences as if by repetition alone he becomes more secure in the correctness of how he handled himself in the past. All of his past-life knowledge in his higher mind is now being tested as he is asked to live it out on his emotional level. Thus he must learn to faithfully believe and act upon his own truths.

Once you learn to accept and be at peace with the subconscious (12th house) motivations of Jupiter and what you have to learn from your past life, then the Yod/Boomerang will activate and you definitely have a purpose to share with the new age, again, it's not a life of gloom and punishment.

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ueharaa
Knowflake

Posts: 607
From:
Registered: Sep 2011

posted May 20, 2014 09:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is way more than what I could ever have expected in terms of explanation of jupiter retrograde in the 12th house.
I do admit not having understood everything and some of it is rather surprising (especially how it's focused on the self when I would have thought that the 12th house is more about the common subconscious and thus relate to others in a way)but I will be pondering all of it. Having access to one's past life is extremely difficult though and am not really sure I am ready to know them..

Thank you a lot for taking the time to answer me and share your knowledge. I greatly appreciate it.

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