posted July 17, 2014 04:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by tgem:
@ Doux, who do you think is more affected by the Saturn ties..the personal planet or Saturn? I have Saturn ties with a soulmate..his Saturn aspects EVERY SINGLE ONE of my planets and my Saturn aspects 5 of his...so obviously some DW's going on. He permanently lives in my head, despite the fact we haven't seen or spoken to each other in two years...just wondering if he would be going through the same thing??!!
Uhm, SATURN-KARMA-SNODE on MOON-URANUS.
... I win.
Kidding. ... I think? I dunno. It does drive me insane.
There was a fire in his lab yesterday. He called me AS THEY WERE EXITING.
'Hey, what's up?'
'Building's on fire. I think I coughed up another tonsil.'
' ... I never know when you're telling the truth or ... being you?'
'Yeah to the fire. But, nah, no more tonsil-hacking.'
'Oh. Well. Could be worse.'
' ... Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's ash.'
'Where?'
'In my lungs. On my clothes. In my mouth.'
'Oh, good times.'
'I know, right? How've you been?'
It's been about two weeks since we spoke, but no wars. No even minute digs. He still pokes fun -- in his way. He STILL throws the innuendo at me. Augh. Relentless. Some things will never change.
But the fact he called AS they were exiting the building? Heh. I can hear his mom now .... 'You didn't call me?!'
Biggest fight we had was when he didn't respond to my texts because he'd just finished with the chick he was presently staying with on a short trip (I know -- I know, but we were still ... weird then) and 'didn't want to be rude'.
He didn't get back to me FOR TWO DAYS. Naturally, I gave him the silent treatment. It led to a row. 'You don't know how you figure into my life? Who did I call when I had a three-hour break to myself for the first time since I got there? My mom? My friends? No, I called you. JUST you. I didn't even call my mom this entire trip. Just YOU.'
I miss those days (January to September 2012) sometimes. Sometimes.
What I feel in regards to him has never been logical or even sensical. It's just ... there. We can't be out of touch or not somehow in each other's lives in some fashion.
We go nuts. We lose our way. We feel lost and confused. Angry. Sad. It just doesn't work. So, we do the best we can with what we've got.
Ugh. I'll be posting our progressed composite in IA soon. I don't know WHY I'm so damned emo about it right now. We're nailing down the filming dates for next summer.
I don't know how I feel about it yet. Sometimes, I'm cool; I'm in control -- I've GOT this.
Other times, I think if I can't maintain my cool distance, I'll just run away and cry in the bathroom. I can't deal with the emotions he STILL stirs in me. I just can't. I've only, since this past spring, come to really accept that I HAVE to keep it platonic. Even if that means literally leaving the room.
I haven't even broached how we're going to handle certain scenes yet. I'm giving him free rein to write the rough draft, so I'll see where he goes with it. I DOUBT he'll go there. No, he wasn't kidding about being really glad for the whole thing -- and we created these roles ourselves -- but things are ... NOW -- not then. Plus, he was talking full relationship development across seasons. I don't think I've got to worry about dealing with that in the pilot. And, once that's shot, we'll have a baseline.
Maybe it'll get easier. God, I hope so.
I bet this is a transit, too. Well, suddenly making it so hard again. Unless ... it was a transit making it seem easier ....
Augh.
Lindaland
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posted June 08, 2014 09:55 PM
