posted August 31, 2014 03:18 AM            

As a child, I was a very sensitive and emotional young boy. It was so easy to break my heart, that it would happen often.
At the age of 16 I met this pretty little girl and WOW, how I fell for her. She was promptly given everything, including my heart. I was so naive and impressionable that I was entirely clueless of what dangers were lurking. I really believed everything was all rainbows and butterflies. Though, this little girl would soon show me that it isn't.

Well, long story short, we married when I was 18, had three beautiful children, and then after 9 and a half years of being manipulated, cheated on, and completely crushed, I finally gained the courage to leave her and search for a new girl. A girl who would love me, not destroy me.

I was such a foolish boy because I actually believed that, a boy and girl fall in love, then live happily ever after. That I would spend my entire life with this girl because I loved her and would do anything for her. However, this wasn't the case and I ended up being taught a valuable lesson. The lesson of protecting your heart!

It's been 7 years since my divorce and I am still a single man. That long ago life of marriage is still the only relationship I've ever been in through my life and it's memories have finally faded away. I still have my children, whom I raise alone, but they are getting older and no longer need daddy as much. Well, not for anything other than money. They are teenagers and will be entering into adulthood soon. This makes me realize that, once the leave the nest, I'm going to be here alone. Don't get me wrong though, being alone isn't a bad thing, not by any means. I'm definitely capable of it but I would really love to have that one girl, the one who I dream of nightly, to be here with me.

posted August 31, 2014 07:25 AM            

It's something I'm contending with now too.

I'm newly single, approaching my mid 30's, and I've been with my ex since right after high school. We even went to our Senior prom together, lol! Thankfully I didn't have to endure the pain of being cheated on. That would've destroyed me! I was with him for 14 years, and although he was verbally and at times physically abusive, I would have stayed with him forever. I just wanted him to get help, and not repeat the same abusive tendencies that he learned from his parents. He was raised by a vicious pack of wolves, so it's a wonder he didn't turn out worse. I could accept us not being together, but he refuses to take responsibility for his actions, leaving me to have to deal with anger, bitterness, and fear of trusting anyone in the future.

I know he didn't deserve me, and I just have to keep reminding myself not to punish any guys in the future for what he did.

posted September 01, 2014 02:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Bluejay:
I'm in the same boat too. I'm trying to get away from that mindset, because you have to be able to let your guard down enough to get to know someone. That being said, I don't want to even waste my time with someone that doesn't have long term potential. I would never suggest that you lower your standards, but your expectations could scare away a lot of potential partners. They might feel that they won't live up to your idealistic standards, and not even want to risk being hurt. Women won't want to take a chance if they think you're going to dump them at the first minor problem, because they didn't pass the test. How will you ever really get to know a person?

It's something I'm contending with now too.

I'm newly single, approaching my mid 30's, and I've been with my ex since right after high school. We even went to our Senior prom together, lol! Thankfully I didn't have to endure the pain of being cheated on. That would've destroyed me! I was with him for 14 years, and although he was verbally and at times physically abusive, I would have stayed with him forever. I just wanted him to get help, and not repeat the same abusive tendencies that he learned from his parents. He was raised by a vicious pack of wolves, so it's a wonder he didn't turn out worse. I could accept us not being together, but he refuses to take responsibility for his actions, leaving me to have to deal with anger, bitterness, and fear of trusting anyone in the future.

I know he didn't deserve me, and I just have to keep reminding myself not to punish any guys in the future for what he did.

Your ex didn't deserve you either. I'm not suggesting that you settle, but don't punish potential partners for what she did to you. If you do, you will probably end up alone.

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I honestly do not have high standards or anything like that. I'm not looking for any type of trophy wife or an elbow icing. I mean, I could never force myself into a relationship with someone I'm not attracted too and I certainly wouldn't commit the rest of my life to someone I wasn't to either.
I have no issues with allowing someone into my hearts realm, however, I have to know that they will take care of the place. I have an extremely hopelessly hopeless romantic character and I pour my love and passion into everything, I love with everything I have. I give so much of myself that it leaves me completely and utterly vulnerable. Then once my heart has been broken, it will take years for it to heal and stop aching.

One other thing with me is, I am completely and entirely attuned to people and I just know what people have in their hearts. When I meet someone, I'll know who they are on the first date, I literally will. It's like I can look right into someone's eyes and look right into their very being. I can pass complete strangers on the street, not speak a single word to them, but I sense their emotions, their insecurities, and the very person they are. I'm extremely empathic and I'll honestly know what my girlfriend would be feeling at all hours of the day, regardless to if she is on the other side of the planet. I'll still be connected with her.

It's hard to accept someone into my heart when almost every person on this planet hides, or tries to hide, what they have in their own hearts.

posted September 22, 2014 04:33 PM            

Never. Stop. Trying.

posted September 29, 2014 08:46 PM            

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Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
Thanks for sharing your placements... I was guessing them while reading. I relate so strongly to your words (Libra trining the Gemini) and the emotion (water signs) was just palpable. When you mentioned the intuitive/psychic stuff I was trying to decide between Pisces and Scorpio so I was pleased to see both.
I read something the other day about "romantic love" being the "cause" of divorce. How long ago people married to keep the land in the family etc and social and religious norms did not allow divorce. At the start of "romantic love" being a priority, and because romantic love does not often last, people began leaving each other if the romantic excitement etc wasn't at the same heights as when they met. I've learned recently that this is due to separating aspects. You and your partner might have some strong synastry when you meet but as both of your planets progress, they literally grow apart. People who then have OTHER aspects that are growing together that take the place of those separating aspects then stay together. Those who do not.... well....
Some may even have tough aspects come into play and this may cause a painful divorce. It's set up that way for our soul's growth, I suppose. It still doesn't make it hurt less and frankly I'm pretty frustrated with my life's path at the moment. There is something deep in my soul that is seeking my best friend and partner for life, my child is also growing up and I also have the same fears of growing old alone. I work with the elderly which makes me extremely aware of just how much quality time is left to enjoy that bond. I don't want to waste any more time.
And you know that's death to women in the dating world.

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My Sun is Gemini at 16 degrees
My Moon is Pisces at 7 degrees