posted February 27, 2015 11:46 AM            

I'm Pisces, He is Scorpio.

We have been great for months on end, he calls, he texts, he plans. When he hasn't planned we still are together, and he'll be spontaneous on what we do. There isn't a weekend I do not see him. He travels for work sometimes and lets me know ahead of time that February he would be out each weekend for his training he does. When he's out of town he calls, texts, send pictures of what he is doing. Even when he was studying for his certifications, he had asked me to help with getting some answers to questions he had (which he knew the answers! I felt that was his way of taking care of studies and still spend time with me).

One weekend he completely disconnected. And when I asked if all was ok because I got a bit worried - since he usually let's me know when he arrives. He replied "Come on, I don't communicate like that with you".

At first, I kept quiet when he said it and couldn't reply much because I was honestly in shock. And also slightly questioned myself mentally...am I going crazy or did he really just say that? I let it be, but it was bugging me.

When he said it, he seemed to have an attitude for some reason. I asked if everything was alright with him. He said, Yes why wouldn't it be? And when I responded to him I made sure not to blame. I pointed out that he seemed irritated. Also, that the comment of him not communicating hurt a bit. I let him know that maybe he hadn't realized how much we do communicate, but we do. That we hadn't gone a weekend without seeing each other except when he was out for work. And even then we talked,texted,he'd let me know when he arrived, and sent me pictures of the competitions.

After mention of that, I moved on to other topics because I wasn't looking to fight. My tone was not argumentative... more of "As a matter of fact, we do communicate like that". His tone with me changed... he calmed down a lot and was the same as he usually is. We ended that conversation on a good note. But no backtracking to the communication topic.

After that he has called and gone "back to normal". He had even tried to have me travel with him for one of his trips. I was unable to, so he is planning to take me on the next one.

But I felt the distance coming...almost like he was needing time away from me. And so here it is. I did text after a few days, he replied back as usual. And this morning I called. But he is in his own world again... Lol

My questions are... Why does a Scorpio man suddenly withdraw? What is the best way to work through it? Is it normal for it to feel that way, like its him just needing his space? Is it something Scorpio men do that they go all in like he was... then need to withdraw?

Anyway, I know things are fine with us. I just wanted a little more insight of the Scorpio man, the intense connecting and then withdrawing...

posted March 16, 2015 03:51 PM            

Yes, his attention to the plans surprised even me. He's been so busy I thought he'd completely forget.

In all honesty, I want to help whatever he is struggling with. I've had my own struggles coming from a rough divorce and other complications and have had to little by little regain confidence and trust in myself. And be able to get thru the fears of what a relationship brings.

posted March 21, 2015 11:01 PM            

Mine came back after a 1.5 weeks which was much longer than usual. He said 'hello' and it was nice to know that he is still thinking of me. Had to pull some teeth out of this guy to find out why he was silent. Shooting a short text message to let them know that you care would not hurt either

posted March 22, 2015 10:20 AM              

Also, being a strong female is not about bottling up your concerns so as not to appear needy. It's about letting the guy know that if he thinks you'll put up with all manners of nonsense and he won't be held accountable, he can gtfo because there are plenty more fish in the sea.

posted March 22, 2015 07:34 PM            

And you're correct, my post was not how yo appear not needy to him. I'm not concerned of whether or not we are okay. I know we are. I have realized he needs time to himself sometimes and doesn't communicate it well. His way of distancing is very abrupt. I believe in communication and in all honesty,this man has made complete turnaround from when we first met. I feel safe with him. My true intention is that I wish I was better at having him feel safe when he has his issues.

As I mentioned in my first and second messages, I felt the disconnect coming. I just want to understand why. When he and I first began seeing each other he hit some rough spots, as everyone does,and when I asked what's going... He said he wouldn't burden me with his stress. I said... But I tell you mine? He said... Yes, but you're a woman and I am a man. I am supposed to be able to handle both of ours. And handle my own so ypu can sleep well at night. When those words came out of his mouth... I was like that is the most sexist thing you can say to me! And I fought and bickered. But in the end... He is a traditional man that provides and takes care. I love him as he is. I only seek advice to work with him and to our benefit, instead of against it. It may not be everyone's way of doing things and many disagree. But it does not mean it is wrong.

My marriage was very rough and I refuse to be in something like that every again. And to note, we have constant communication...

posted March 23, 2015 10:00 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Vajra:
^Learn what exactly? Not everyone craves communication all the time, people are different in this regard. It's perfectly alright to detest such behavior, but others may not mind it as much as you do. Maybe he's one of those who need to concentrate on one task at a time; I'm like that too - with Scorpio rising, I tend to get very single-minded when there's a problem and all the less urgent stuff can meanwhile go to hell while I'm busy fixing it. Annoying? Perhaps, but that's how I operate and if my partner were the needy kind who'd constantly badger me to call more often in such a situation, I'd probably do it even less and get pretty short with him. It's not that unusual, really; once people have kids, and maybe have patchwork families to see to in addition to work, it's easy to come into a situation where the new partner will have to take the back seat a few days once in a while until there's some breathing space again. Mine certainly sometimes has to, and I'm not even a Scorpio Sun (he is though). It's no big deal once there's enough trust established, and the game-playing stage is over. I'm all for quality over quantity and would much rather have a little time we both can enjoy than much time with someone who's not really there because of some concern he would rather see to. But then I've no trouble being alone either, and wouldn't want to go back to a relationship like my past marriage where we spent literally every day and night side by side for over a decade. There's different styles of relating, and I don't think it's a good idea to label some as right and others as wrong, what matters is that both people are comfortable with it.

The advice by several people above was probably not meant as "bottling up concerns" to "not appear needy" - it was meant to not become so needy in the first place, to find a secure position in oneself that makes one emotionally independent of the partner's every action, in order not to constantly question the status of the relationship just because the other doesn't initiate contact all the time. Such a person would probably be a good match for that particular Scorpio man, but if it can't be done by ricanbeauty, it's no use bottling stuff up, that won't work in the long run, and she needs to decide for herself what she wants and needs and address the concern. However, I doubt a typical Scorp Sun man will change his communication style just because a woman requests it if he doesn't actually want to do so; thus, asking for such stuff can backfire. In my experience at least, Scorps can be stubborn beyond belief to the point of self-undoing and I've found it pretty useless to try and change them, the only thing that seems to work is reacting to their behavior in a clear way and letting them figure out on their own what they want to do about it. If a trait such as not being a frequent communicator is reason enough to send the guy packing, then that's that; however, according to some people, there could be much more annoying things about a person to complain about than that, and nobody's ever going to be the perfect partner in all respects anyway, so one always has to make a few compromises while defining one's red line.

And what's this about Scorp suns marrying fixed signs more often? Not true according to statistical research - Scorp Suns marry all kinds of signs, but according to a huge research project done with datasets including the complete population of some European countries, both Scorp men and women were actually found to be significantly more likely to marry a Pisces sun partner (see G. Sachs, The Astrology File, p. 71 in the original 1997 German language ed.). Scorp women were significantly less likely to marry an Aqua man, while Scorp men were significantly less likely to marry a Gemini woman. These were the only significant effects noticeable regarding marriage preference according to sun sign for Scorpios, all other sign combinations were about equally distributed. Regarding likelihood of divorce, the same research found that the Scorpio woman and Pisces man combo was also significantly less likely to be divorced; there were no other such examples for Scorpios.

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Vajra, I am just going off of what is being said here. If a different intent is meant than what is actually being said, that's another issue entirely. Multiple women on this thread have expressed how "hard" it is when their Scorp disappears on them for a week to two weeks. And the suggestion is to p*ssyfoot around and wait for him to return and not let it be known how incredibly frustrated you were that they abruptly stopped communicating with you. I am dating someone who is a fixed sun AND moon (Scorpio/Taurus). Also, I said the most FAMOUS fixed sign men, those with the most choices in partners - George Clooney, Ashton Kutcher, Wilmer Valderrama, Matthew McConaughey, Alice Cooper, Raine Maida, Bill Gates, Eric Dane, Robert Buckley, Jeremy Davis of Paramore, Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park - marry other fixed signs. Ashton is especially noteworthy because he pretty much ONLY dates and marries fixed sign women, and ALL of his women have had Scorpio moon to his Aquarius sun/moon (Brittany Murphy, January Jones, Demi Moore, Mila Kunis). Scorpio Matthew McConaughey famously said that after 3 kids, his Aquarius wife issued him an ultimatium - s*hit, or get off the pot - which led to his proposal. Scorpio men are strong and stubborn, true. And they respect the same in women, which is probably WHY they marry their equally-stubborn counterparts (Scorp women) so often and other fixed signs so often whenever they are famous and have the most women to choose from. All I am saying is do not be afraid to be explicit about what you consider to be unacceptable or if something bothers you. They will respect you more for it than the type of woman who p*ssyfoots around and tries to please them at your own emotional expense. As a fixed stellium, trust me on this - strong and stubborn respects the same. They are the ONLY people we will bend for.

posted March 23, 2015 12:56 PM            

I'm well aware of the controversy on statistical methods used in Sachs' study, but I'm afraid even the most ardent among his critics weren't able to convince the rest of the world that all the results were "nonsense", as you write. Rather, some pointed out a few supposed methodical flaws, which then other equally knowledgeable and independent experts affiliated with public research institutions partly or wholly refuted. The last contribution to that effect I'm aware of appeared in 2011 so it's still an ongoing discussion. That's pretty much the normal state of affairs whenever someone publishes controversial research that upsets a lot of people, and since the data Sachs used is in the public domain and the tests can be rerun by anyone who wants to (as Basler, one of the earliest critics did), it fulfills the criterion of useful research.
Basler, btw, while he criticized some of Sachs' methods, could not explain away some of the results (e.g. concerning suicide), and he explicitly welcomed the research as an overall valuable contribution which in his opinion should be followed up with more detailed studies. Since then, others have scrutinized Basler's approach in turn, and criticized that as well…so there you go. Concerning this topic, it's pretty certain even without any calculations just from the raw data itself that nowhere is there any indication that fixed signs predominantly marry fixed signs, which is all I tried to say. That small sample of celebs you gave, btw, is hardly representative even of the group of celebs and there are clearly very many Scorp celebs who married mutable or cardinal Sun people, just as in the general population. You cannot very well criticize Sachs for flawed statistical methods and then provide an infinitely more methodically flawed result to refute it, by arbitrarily choosing a few individual examples that support your theory and ignoring those that don't.

posted March 23, 2015 01:35 PM            

I agree with Vajra that no one was giving the advice to sit on my ass and wait on Scorpio male. At least that's not what I took from the multiple posts. I took it as not to let it take me away from my center. Has it frustrated me? Of course. Have I expresses it to my Scorpio? I have, now that I have given him time.

Everyone is battling something and to be so forceful and demanding does not work for me. If someone demanded things from me, I'd tell them to go kick rocks. And I'm Pisces, very easy going. But I hold my own and value independence. So I treat him the way I'd appreciate to be treated, with respect and patience. If I needed time and he was quick to get rid of me, that would prove to me that he doesn't care about me. And so I give the same respect and patience I expect to be given to me.

All inputs are welcome. I enjoy all views.

posted March 23, 2015 08:58 PM              

I don't see anything wrong with the celebrity examples that I gave. I think my initial remarks were pretty self-explanatory; your average Joe Blow does not have the same volume of marital options as a George Clooney or even B-list Nick Lachey. Therefore, we can conclude with some certainty that a famous person's choices are likely more indicative of a sign or even men in general's true desires and inclinations than someone who has to settle or can't afford to divorce. This also explains Hollywood divorce rates relative to the general population.