posted September 13, 2015 01:29 PM            

He doesn't actually work for my company, but comes in regularly 1 or 2 times a week. I've noticed him for a year and we've always smiled but never spoken to eachother, until my friend told me she was talking to him and found out he was from the same hometown as I and so introduced us.

Since then he always comes over to my desk to chat to me, and if I'm busy/on the phone/in a meeting, he will always catch my attention and smile and wave.

At first I wasn't sure if he was just being friendly, but then one day a few weeks ago he said to me take my number we should go for drinks one day. (I thought, yes!! FInally!) So I said ok and I text him my number so he had mine.
I expected to hear from him but he never contacted me.
The next time he came in to my office, he came straight over to me to chat, but didn't mention the drink again and neither did i. There was a festival that weekend though and he asked if I was going and I said yes and he told me he lives near there and would be there. So I thought I needed to just make a move outside of the office, so when I got to the festival I text him and asked if he wanted to meet. He was super friendly in his reply and said he was meeting his friends, and wasn't sure what the plan was but would suggest to them to go to where I was with my friends.
I didn't see him or hear from him again at the festival, but I suspected I wouldn't see him due to it being super busy.

After that weekend at work he came straight over to my desk to chat and asked how the festival was and he said he spent the whole time looking for friends and his phone wasn't working..
We were then talking about an area in our city we both like and he hinted at us going to a nice restaurant there.

Since then he's always friendly when he sees me, but hasn't asked me out or is even contacting me outside of work.
I dont' get it. Why offer out his number, or hint at going out but not actually ask me out?
He comes across as a confident guy, he's friendly enough to always come over to chat to me at work (doesn't do it to anyone else), and one time as he said bye to me he called me beautiful.

So, is he interested? Are capricorn men slow in asking you out? Or does he want me to ask him? Or is he simply just being friendly?

posted September 14, 2015 04:02 PM            

Try not to think too much about him and his thoughts, just do your thing as you did before he came along and take things as they come.

posted September 14, 2015 08:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
In my experience with Capricorns, they can be slow movers. Well, at least I think so, because even though I think they were interested, they never did make that move. So I am not entirely sure what really goes on in that head of theirs. I imagine they think things through a lot more than other signs and only make a move when they are absolutely certain. Also, they fear rejection like the plague.

---

Ha I literally came in this thread to say the exact thing! They're a very slow moving sign (the slowest, truly, I'd say) because they're very in tune with "cost effectiveness" when it comes to investing in something in their lives. It sounds clinical, but it actually comes from a place of deep vulnerability.

All Capricorns are a little on edge right now as Pluto is currently in their sign. If there was a sort of consistency in the past that's now become erratic, I'd venture to say it's because Pluto is hovering closer to his Sun/other personal planets in Cap. Trust in the process of the universe and don't sweat him right now. He's going through a personal journey in a lot of ways (as are all Caps - I've noticed this sign being posted about A LOT the past two years alone)

posted September 18, 2015 04:36 PM            

So, let him make the moves. Seriously. Don't initiate anymore, let him work hard for it, it's what makes him happy.

posted September 18, 2015 07:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
Cappies don't trust what they can get easily. They're ruled by Saturn, the god of doing everything by the books, waiting a long time and working hard for what you want. He might have took a step back when he saw you responded favorably to his advances because 1) he probably didn't expect it - despite the fact that they appear confident, they have self doubts almost as much as Virgos and 2) he got suspicious thinking this is too easy, what's the catch? Are you trying to play him somehow, make a fool out of him while you laugh about it with your female coworkers?

So, let him make the moves. Seriously. Don't initiate anymore, let him work hard for it, it's what makes him happy.

JFK has a good point about Pluto, forgot about that little mongrel. Add two more ounces of paranoia then.

---

Hmm.. all very good points. Do you think the fact I made a move scared him off for good then, or is there a chance he could be interested?

posted September 22, 2015 09:38 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
Cappies don't trust what they can get easily. They're ruled by Saturn, the god of doing everything by the books, waiting a long time and working hard for what you want. He might have took a step back when he saw you responded favorably to his advances because 1) he probably didn't expect it - despite the fact that they appear confident, they have self doubts almost as much as Virgos and 2) he got suspicious thinking this is too easy, what's the catch? Are you trying to play him somehow, make a fool out of him while you laugh about it with your female coworkers?

So, let him make the moves. Seriously. Don't initiate anymore, let him work hard for it, it's what makes him happy.

---

posted September 22, 2015 09:42 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by JohnFKennedy:
They're a very slow moving sign (the slowest, truly, I'd say) because they're very in tune with "cost effectiveness" when it comes to investing in something in their lives. It sounds clinical, but it actually comes from a place of deep vulnerability.

All Capricorns are a little on edge right now as Pluto is currently in their sign. If there was a sort of consistency in the past that's now become erratic, I'd venture to say it's because Pluto is hovering closer to his Sun/other personal planets in Cap. Trust in the process of the universe and don't sweat him right now. He's going through a personal journey in a lot of ways (as are all Caps - I've noticed this sign being posted about A LOT the past two years alone)

---

So true, also.

And summerlove, do you care to post your charts? Or at least tell us where his sun is?

If you are both Gemini moons...assuming you got his birth time or the moon was in Gemini the entire day when he was born...that's actually a very positive thing.

From what I've seen, Gemini moons pair beautifully with other Gemini moons.

posted September 22, 2015 11:13 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by summerlove22:
Hmm.. all very good points. Do you think the fact I made a move scared him off for good then, or is there a chance he could be interested?

Its all very confusing, if somoene shows interest, then surely you are supposed to show interest back? If I were to make it hard for him, surely that is playing games? I thought cappys didn't like game playing?

---

You make a strong point about not playing games. *sigh* Sadly, it seems dating and game-playing usually go hand in hand. If you do not wish to play those games, then I salute and respect you, but you might want to let this one slide, because he's either too messed up for you (though most people are, more or less, messed up) or into game playing.

As for Cappies not into that, it might be true, in theory and perhaps they do strive not to be that way, but I think they end up playing games regardless because of their insecurities.

I'll give you an example. A common friend introduces Mr. Cap to me, with the explicit intent for us to date (he asked her to introduce someone to him and I was single at the time); our first meeting was awesome, I laughed my heart out, I never thought he was a Capricorn, I was sure he's a Fire sign - he was THAT extroverted. We went on a couple of dates that proved weird and very confusing. First he told me about his divorce and custody battle and made me like him even more. He told me what he can and can't offer due to that. I appreciated the honesty, being an Aries. Then he started making excuses so I saw him less and less. He made time for a walk at some point and I accidentally said "matchmaking", which ticked him off and he defended saying he was only after my professional services. Okay, that was a shocker. But, regardless, I had other things to do and dismissed him from my love life, with the intent of remaining friends/acquaintances. Later on, I get the brilliant idea to introduce him to a friend of mine I thought he'd be compatible with (a Taurus). His reaction? That I am crazy, because he was wooing me and I am sending him packed to another woman.

Get the idea?

And don't get me started about what happened with my Taurus friend. They had a coup de foudre and were joined at the hip for a couple of weeks, everything was ecstatic. But since he couldn't accept being happy for a change, messed it all up, broke her heart and left her hanging. Don't think we're all teenagers having a go at love here, I'm in my 30s, he and my friend are in their 40s.

posted September 23, 2015 02:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
You make a strong point about not playing games. *sigh* Sadly, it seems dating and game-playing usually go hand in hand. If you do not wish to play those games, then I salute and respect you, but you might want to let this one slide, because he's either too messed up for you (though most people are, more or less, messed up) or into game playing.

As for Cappies not into that, it might be true, in theory and perhaps they do strive not to be that way, but I think they end up playing games regardless because of their insecurities.

I'll give you an example. A common friend introduces Mr. Cap to me, with the explicit intent for us to date (he asked her to introduce someone to him and I was single at the time); our first meeting was awesome, I laughed my heart out, I never thought he was a Capricorn, I was sure he's a Fire sign - he was THAT extroverted. We went on a couple of dates that proved weird and very confusing. First he told me about his divorce and custody battle and made me like him even more. He told me what he can and can't offer due to that. I appreciated the honesty, being an Aries. Then he started making excuses so I saw him less and less. He made time for a walk at some point and I accidentally said "matchmaking", which ticked him off and he defended saying he was only after my professional services. Okay, that was a shocker. But, regardless, I had other things to do and dismissed him from my love life, with the intent of remaining friends/acquaintances. Later on, I get the brilliant idea to introduce him to a friend of mine I thought he'd be compatible with (a Taurus). His reaction? That I am crazy, because he was wooing me and I am sending him packed to another woman.

Get the idea?

And don't get me started about what happened with my Taurus friend. They had a coup de foudre and were joined at the hip for a couple of weeks, everything was ecstatic. But since he couldn't accept being happy for a change, messed it all up, broke her heart and left her hanging. Don't think we're all teenagers having a go at love here, I'm in my 30s, he and my friend are in their 40s.

Sure, it might all be because he's a dick and not because of the sign itself. But usually people with something Capricorn in their chart have a certain addiction to misery they might not even recognize for themselves (I'm Cap rising, which might explain why I lost precious time with such people). From this point of view, they're even more messed up than Scorpios, and that one is hard to achieve.

---

Well I saw him today for the first time since I asked him out for drinks, he didn't mention it at all, but he was super friendly and chatty...

He's really confusing me. I'm not going to make anymore moves now, and wait to see what he does. But if he doesn't do anything, then it's all very strange how he's acting.

He was the one to give me his number, he was the one that suggested drinks in the first place but just hasn't followed through. He's the one to always come over to me at work for a chat. He's the one that calls me beautiful..

posted September 23, 2015 04:21 PM            

Sure, love heals hearts and changes lives, I'm a firm believer in that, but I have not seen one single example of that happening when one person deliberately decided so. It usually happens out of the free will of both people, naturally.

posted September 24, 2015 04:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
^ If that is the case, summerlove, you need to ask yourself if you really want this guy or not, and why. Because people only change if and when they want to change and chances are, unless he seeks therapy for whatever reason prevents him from properly wooing you, he will remain messed up. Are you ok with that? With the guessing and the confusion, with the tip-toeing around whatever may trigger his issues? It is not your job to fix him, it's his. Your only job is to find someone who makes you happy, who appreciates and loves you, without the guessing and the games, someone who is emotionally available and well.. healthy (especially since you're a Crab)!

Sure, love heals hearts and changes lives, I'm a firm believer in that, but I have not seen one single example of that happening when one person deliberately decided so. It usually happens out of the free will of both people, naturally.

I think minding your own is the best course of action you could take. I agree, he is acting strange, whatever his reasons. And sometimes there's nothing we can do about how other people act, but we can change how it affects us.

---

I don't believe he is actually messed up, I don't know him well enough.

posted September 25, 2015 07:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:

I'll give you an example. A common friend introduces Mr. Cap to me, with the explicit intent for us to date (he asked her to introduce someone to him and I was single at the time); our first meeting was awesome, I laughed my heart out, I never thought he was a Capricorn, I was sure he's a Fire sign - he was THAT extroverted. We went on a couple of dates that proved weird and very confusing. First he told me about his divorce and custody battle and made me like him even more. He told me what he can and can't offer due to that. I appreciated the honesty, being an Aries. Then he started making excuses so I saw him less and less. He made time for a walk at some point and I accidentally said "matchmaking", which ticked him off and he defended saying he was only after my professional services. Okay, that was a shocker. But, regardless, I had other things to do and dismissed him from my love life, with the intent of remaining friends/acquaintances. Later on, I get the brilliant idea to introduce him to a friend of mine I thought he'd be compatible with (a Taurus). His reaction? That I am crazy, because he was wooing me and I am sending him packed to another woman.

---

Where was his Venus??

posted September 27, 2015 05:16 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by summerlove22:
I don't believe he is actually messed up, I don't know him well enough.

But why else is he behaving in this way? There is nothing I can do, just wish I knew what he was thinking, feeling... and if he will ever ask me out!!

---

I am sorry you are disappointed, summerlove. Sometimes people are just not ready for love, I guess. They want to be, but their desires are bigger than their resources. Clearly something is holding him back. But he needs to sort it out on his own. All you can do - if you are willing to - is to wait until that happens. But I wish you didn't put your life on hold on behalf of someone else.. people's whims are fickle and your life is too precious.

posted September 27, 2015 05:17 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Nine:
Where was his Venus??

---

posted September 27, 2015 10:22 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
I am sorry you are disappointed, summerlove. Sometimes people are just not ready for love, I guess. They want to be, but their desires are bigger than their resources. Clearly something is holding him back. But he needs to sort it out on his own. All you can do - if you are willing to - is to wait until that happens. But I wish you didn't put your life on hold on behalf of someone else.. people's whims are fickle and your life is too precious.

If he asks you out, fine, go, have fun, know him better. If not, go back to what you were doing before he came around, see other people, live your life as best you can.

---

Well I was worried that maybe the fact I had asked him out may have put him off me. I know capricorn's like to be in control, take the lead. I thought maybe the fact I asked him out may have come across as desperate. However he was the one to offer his number, so I'm not sure why he did that if he didn't want to go out and get to know me.

posted September 28, 2015 03:22 PM            

It's kind of hard to give advice based on a sun sign alone, but I have noticed that pretty much every Capricorn sun operates the same way (male or female) - they really can only concentrate on one thing at a time, lol. This seems to be largely a self-imposed restriction. They are very methodical about things and when something unexpected pops into their world, they seem to push it aside and focus on something else entirely until they feel they can deal with the "intrusion". He gave you his number - I'd say he's interested and probably very flattered that you asked him out. I highly doubt you scared him off by simply expressing an interest to get to know him more.

In my experience, the key to dealing with Capricorns is to let things develop in their time. It might seem like an eternity to the rest of us, but a Cap might still feel things are moving too fast. Let him know you're interested in getting to know him and kind of let it go for now. Remind him that you're still here and interested if nothing happens after a while, but again, just let it go. He will make time to see you, but it will be after he allows himself to let go of whatever he's using to distract himself right now.

posted November 20, 2015 08:27 PM            

Can only focus on one thing..."when something unexpected pops into their world, they seem to push it aside and focus on something else entirely until they feel they can deal with the "intrusion"." INTRUSION? !!! Sweetheart, you don't want no half-ass, left-over attention.

I don't know where y'all stand right now since it's been 3 months since the last post here, but if you're not a couple (and you happen to come back here from dealing with the same nonsense) here's my advice:

When or if he comes over to your desk, pick up your deskphone, or get up from your desk, in other words be Busy. Or better yet, just tell him straight on: "Don't call me beautiful. Do you know my name?" (And if a kiss is zooming, tell him one more of those little smacks and it won't be your lipstick that made his face red.)
If he says he knows your name. Say: "Then use it."

Next say: "When are you going to ask me out?" If he can't answer you right away, tell him you're busy right now and don't play with you. Then turn your back and keep it moving.

The office is a PLACE of BUSINESS, not The Love Boat. If he wants to see you, it won't be a matter of CONVENIENCE. He should have known when he was going to take you out the minute he asked you in the first place, damn it.

IF he answers to ask you out, tell him you're busy whatever day he says. Seriously. Make him ask you a few times before you say yes. Seriously. If he never asks again, so what.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Ok, momma is done.