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Author Topic:   Almost 26, Never Had Relationship - Help/Advice, Please! :)
unikestyle
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Jan 2011

posted August 19, 2016 12:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for unikestyle     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Warning: long post!

(tl;dr: Iíve been having bad luck in the romance department; do you see that changing sometime in the near future? Will post charts, thanks for your help!)


Hello, all!

It's been a while since I've written anything on this forum, but I thought that I'd give it a go, since I have been feeling somewhat down lately. Times when I have written on this forum in the past, I received a lot of help and clarity, so thank you in advance to anyone who responds to this!

In sum, I've excelled in multiple areas of my life, due to hard work, perseverance, and luck, all except in the area of romance and relationships!

From a young age, I've always believed in (and have also been taught) the value of hard work ethic. So, it was quite common to see me with my nose stuck in a book, or happily studying. Even though I was a socially awkward (i.e.: really silent and extremely observant) as a young girl and teenager, I learned how to develop my social skills and reach out to people, and be a rather sympathetic listener and good friend (as many have told me - their words, not mine!).

As a now 25 year-old woman, making solid friendships and actively pursuing my career goals are on the top of my list, so to speak.

I always thought that I would meet a good guy one day and that things would go from there. Hell, I even thought that I would at least have a serious encounter with a guy! I was fine with the fact that nothing ever happened in high school because I was so engrossed in my studies and was still stiff around many people. I was somewhat okay with the fact that nothing ever happened in college because I gravitated towards guys who were emotionally unavailable, perhaps subconsciously to make sure that I didn't get emotionally hurt. But, as the years continue to roll on, and as my 26th birthday nears (in early Oct.), it's becoming more difficult NOT to think that something is wrong.

Many people have stated how beautiful they think I am, or how I must be a model (or constantly insist that I should become one), or how I must have to swat the guys away because Iím ďabsolutely breathtaking.Ē Again, I'm only saying this to give you a better picture, not for an ego boost. (In fact, I shy away from compliments because I get so nervous!) I take great care of myself, I'm sociable in a warm and engaging, yet calm and collected kind of way (Gemini-Cancer cusp Asc., Libra Sun and Venus in the 4th house), and I try to live my life in a honest, positive way.

Honestly, I am grateful for the compliments and for the good fortune that have come my way in other areas of my life, but this off-kilter romantic department is becoming frustrating. It seems like the guys, many of whom are much older, who DO ask me out have some serious hang-ups (some have been real shady types and don't want to change themselves!), have ulterior motives, or we just aren't compatible enough for something to stick. I only seek out the essentials to compatibility, and looks come after that, but even this doesn't work. When it comes to guys my age, I think it's even worse. I have even tried to take initiative in my own small, respectful way, only to have disastrous outcomes that are laughably embarrassing.

I have gotten all the positive social cues from a guy (who was an acquaintance or even friend, not a total stranger) that he was really attracted and interested, even confirmation from his friends (so itís not like my imagination was making up some fairy tale story), only for the guy I was interested in to do a 180 Ė after I 1) smiled and asked him if he liked me, 2) said I was interested in him, or 3) sent a text during the day asking to hang out Ė and he would act like I was too interested. I was so reserved and laidback during these one-time attempts, but youíd think that Iíd done MUCH more than the girls who almost literally threw themselves at said guys right after I tried. And these guys accepted the other girlsí advances. This scenario has happened so often that I just stopped trying.

I know that everything happens for a reason, and you attract what you think you deserve, soÖ I donít know. I know that I can still improve so many areas of my life, and that introspection and true, unshakeable self-confidence is something that everyone should work towards, but Iím wondering why nothing has changed in the romantic department, or if anything ever will. Again, I am grateful to even be breathing, to have a roof over my head, and to be alive! Normally, when I'm feeling sorry for myself, I throw myself in to my work, or I go out and help others with their problems. Lately, this hasn't been so effective, however. t would just like to add a positive, real relationship into the mix, if Iím fortunate enough.

Iím sorry for being so dramatic about all of this; I would just really appreciate some astrological help with this one! Do you see anything changing for me in the romantic department in the future? Iím attaching some charts Ė natal, Progressed Chart. And Iím sorry that Iím most likely bombarding you; Iíve been trying read these things on my own, but I think I need some guidance.

Thanks again to anyone who reads this, really!

Love and light


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unikestyle
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Jan 2011

posted August 19, 2016 12:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for unikestyle     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Natal Chart

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unikestyle
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Jan 2011

posted August 19, 2016 12:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for unikestyle     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Progressed Chart

[URL=http://s1166.photobucket.com/user/unikestyle/media/US%20Progressed%20Chart.gif.html] [ /URL]

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Randall
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From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
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posted August 19, 2016 02:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Post this in Personal Readings.

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start6030
Knowflake

Posts: 562
From: neverland:)
Registered: Dec 2011

posted August 19, 2016 02:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for start6030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
am just a novice , but have heard saturn in 7th either delays things when it comes to matters of heart...or , causes obstacles. My brother has got this and he is almost like you , except for that he had a few girlfriends and was serious about his commitments but they were both never ready at that age for taking it anywhere ahead .

and not sure but 5th is for romance and fun , and pluto is for the power , so could be involved as well .

actually , just noticed , it's a bit strage that ur asc and dsc is same as my brother as well ...

u guys r good... jst stay the same way , trust me , it's much better to have a single relationship that might start quite late but lasts forever , than the multiple heartbreaks/proposals that would start off as a spark and end up no where (that's the case with me and i have my asc and dsc exact opposite to u guys- though that shudnt be applicable as any reasons , i think ) .

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unikestyle
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Jan 2011

posted August 20, 2016 12:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for unikestyle     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by start6030:
am just a novice , but have heard saturn in 7th either delays things when it comes to matters of heart...or , causes obstacles. My brother has got this and he is almost like you , except for that he had a few girlfriends and was serious about his commitments but they were both never ready at that age for taking it anywhere ahead .

and not sure but 5th is for romance and fun , and pluto is for the power , so could be involved as well .

actually , just noticed , it's a bit strage that ur asc and dsc is same as my brother as well ...

u guys r good... jst stay the same way , trust me , it's much better to have a single relationship that might start quite late but lasts forever , than the multiple heartbreaks/proposals that would start off as a spark and end up no where (that's the case with me and i have my asc and dsc exact opposite to u guys- though that shudnt be applicable as any reasons , i think ) .



Hi start6030,

Thanks so much for your response! It means a lot

Yes, I have become used to the feeling of being too serious for people around my age, but not wanting to go to the extreme of being with someone seriously older either! I know that this is just a feeling, and that its not logical, but it can mess with you from time to time!

In fact, my 5th house will be activated this year, so perhaps more light will be shed on the areas of romance, and some truths will be revealed to me! Or, maybe I'll just go on another inward quest to strengthen my self-confidence and not look to outside sources to feel more solid about myself, and develop a greater sense of faith in Divine Timing. Time will tell, I guess.

Also, I'm sorry that you are on the opposite end of the spectrum! It'd be nice for us (your brother included) to reach a nice balance between the two. Such a Libran thing to say, haha.

It is a coincidence that your brother and I have the same wheel. Does he have the same cusp Asc. degree as I do? You and your brother must be close, with opposite wheels! I have similar configurations with my siblings, and, despite a few (rarely serious) ups and downs, the bond is definitely there.

In any case, thank you again, and I hope you have fewer heatrbreaks/disappointing proposals as time goes on!

Love and light,

Unikestyle


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piscesperson
Newflake

Posts: 24
From: Reno, NV US
Registered: Dec 2013

posted December 29, 2016 07:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for piscesperson     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello. Not sure if my post will give you much astrological advice, but we share some similar natal aspects so I can only speak from personal experiences.

I also have Venus in hard aspects to both Uranus and Neptune. My moon is square to both of these planets as well. I've found that my Venus and Moon and moon are in a square to most people's Neptune/Uranus conjunction that fall into my age group. Most relationships with ppl around my age have been unsuccessful. My first long term relationship was with someone younger than me. I've recently found that I'm most attracted to ppl younger than me opposed to ppl older than myself or around my age.

I've also felt disappointment in love, maybe due to the hard squares to Venus. I'm slowly learning to stop thinking that relationships or encounters will go a certain way that I think in my head because I'm always let down this way. Try to go with the flow because you can't predict how things will go or how guys will act towards you.

I'm fairly shy, but I'm learning to come out of my shell more. I also have Venus sextile Mars. I've heard the same thing before in terms of ppl complimenting my looks, saying that I should be a model but I was never really asked on dates by guys. When it comes to the LTR that I'm in now, I feel as though I was the one that pursued him more than he pursued me.

I know that I have low self esteem . It's something that I really need to work on. I know that a lot of guys like girls with confidence, and it's only fair because I expect the same when it comes to the opposite sex. Try to do some soul searching, don't be so wrapped up in yourself. It may be scary, but things will most likely stay the same unless you do something to change them.

Your prince charming will most likely not find you if you're not out and about. Try to be more social and make more friends that might introduce you to potential mates. I'd say try Tinder too. You don't have to meet up with anyone but you may find a romantic interest or just someone that you have good rapport with. I've encountered a guy through Tinder where the relationship felt almost Karmic. He was doing some things in his life that have always been life goals of mine.

With your hard aspects to Saturn, you may feel lonely but that's not how life necessarily has to be. I've been dealing with depression and have always had feelings of mistrust towards ppl or feeling alone. I know that this is just because of me though, life is not this way for everyone.

Hope this post helped you! Best of luck to you

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Randall
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From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
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posted December 30, 2016 11:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Update?

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Randall
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posted December 31, 2016 10:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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unikestyle
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Jan 2011

posted December 31, 2016 05:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for unikestyle     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello there!

No real updates so far, other than greater self-content and self-acceptance We'll see what may happen in the coming months.

Thank you piscesperson for your advice! I think that my ongoing issue is that I come off as being fine without anyone's company. I've asked many good friends and close family about how I come across (since it's always good to be self-aware...) and this is the answer that I always get. While I am very friendly and like to care for others, there is another huge part of my personality that is reserved and, for some, a bit too collected. Perhaps this comes from my numerous cardinal placements, as well as my hard Saturn contacts. Because I felt bad about this in the past, I tried to address this by trying to become more sociable and more forward, but I ended up forcing myself to act much more extroverted than I truly was (typical INFJ issues), and the assumptions that people made of my entire character based on initial extroverted impressions contradicted my ongoing interactions with said people. In short, my interactions with others just became more confusing (Neptune 7th house connections).

I'm out and about often (was just at a party yesterday) and can be quite sociable when I'm in the mood, which is more often than not, but I do think that another issue stems from being a bit too self-contained longer than others are (Saturn 7th house, hard Moon-Saturn aspect). Also, being physically erratic at times (there is a bit of now-you-see-me, now-you-don't aspect of my personality from the Uranus 7th house energy) might simply make it seem like I am perfectly content on my own, or with my close family and friends. Sometimes, I wonder if my actions are speaking louder than my words of wanting to be with someone! :P

The confidence issue has greatly improved since I was younger, but I definitely agree with you about not having any expectations regarding anyone. I have struggled with this. Now I'm learning to trust fate a lot more. I've been on a number of dates (I met these guys in person), but nothing clicked. Perhaps I'm just a late bloomer, and I shouldn't be too hard on myself (which I definitely do sometimes)

In the meantime, I'll take the pressure off myself. I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason, so who knows? Maybe this delay is happening for reasons that will be revealed to me in the coming months, or even thereafter. However, I'll still consider online dating if my situation doesn't improve at all, or even gets worse.

Thank you again, and Happy New Year!

Love and light

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Randall
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From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
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posted January 01, 2017 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
May 2017 bring you great news.

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Randall
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posted January 02, 2017 01:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And thanks for the update.

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venus2tinkerbell
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posted January 29, 2017 05:09 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi. Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune in your 7th..maybe focus on how you work with these energies in your own self-expression. I can see you already are. How you manage the energies of these planets in yourself is the key to bringing about what you want in a relationship or even just interactions. Think about the 7th house as a reflection of yourself.

Working with your NN is also important. I am starting to think of the nn-sn axis as the asc-dsc of other dimensions. Try to come into your NN using the lessons of the SN.

Astrologers say Saturn brings delay in the house it sits. In my experience this is true, but I believe it is also true that it brings the greatest success to those who have taken their lessons. I am 37. I am just realizing this. You like work.


It can be scary or lonely or just worrisome not to have a relationship or at least your first real experience, but I respect the natal chart. Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune are all there for a reason and it seems like a pretty high calling. But also remember that seemingly insignificant or brief encounters are so valuable too. You sound wonderful. No negative thinking. It brings about negativity. These are lessons (even the go-nowhere experiences), and I get the impression you are an excellent student.

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Randall
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posted February 04, 2017 09:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Beautiful_Light
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posted March 14, 2017 12:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Beautiful_Light     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey, I know you posted this last year but now I am almost 26 and also have never been in a relationship...before it used to really bother me, but now I'm ok...especially since I got into astrology and can literally see all the good things coming my way . Everyone has their own timing for love. With me now it totally makes sense why it wasn't my time yet (natal Venus opp Uranus and Neptune and Uranus has been transiting my 7th house until now!). You are still young, and many people meet "the one" later in life! It will be worth it PS I'm also an INFJ

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TaurusVenusGirl
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From: Heavens Above
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posted March 16, 2017 11:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for TaurusVenusGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If it makes you feel better, Im almost 39 and never had a relationship. And I have come to the realization, that I will never have one either. Its not in the life plan for me. I guess there is something more that I am supposed to do than just experience romantic love.

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Randall
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posted March 17, 2017 01:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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