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Author Topic:   My Twin Flame experience...
Mkya00
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Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted October 19, 2017 05:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Overall, this is a bittersweet cautionary tale.

So, I recently found my Twin Flame (TF), or the closest I will get to one. This was something new to me and I was unaware of this “Twin Flame” idea within astrology and the cosmos. It wasn’t until I started researching to understand why I felt the way I did, and further why I acted the way I did that I found the Twin Flame stuff.

First, am I sure she is my Twin Flame? I had iQ do a reading for the two of us and to quote him at the beginning of the Synastry reading:
“You are both destined to be in each others lives beyond Karmic Debts, more of a Soul Contract. There is a chance that both of you are Twin Flames.”

Further he said “How many possible couples can have 3 generational Planets aspect like this? One in many millions.”

For the composite reading he says – “Many clues point to you both having more than 90% chance of being Twin Flames. If you are not, then this is possibly the closest you both will get to meeting a Twin Flame in this incarnation.”

Keep in mind, everything below is before I realized the synastry connection or the Twin Flame connection. In other words, I never checked synastry between her and I until a 2-3 weeks ago.

Please know that I am married, and so my current mid-life crisis aspect (Uranus opp. Uranus) as well as a progressed Pluto/DSC line (drastic change/separation of partnerships, and meeting a new person of fate) were all strangely at play here. Also, she is younger than me by quite a bit.

We met at her place of work. I was a regular there before she worked there. When I first met her I can definitely say I was immediately attracted to her. Not the typical “wow you are hot” attractive, she is so much more than that. I connected to her eyes, and still love her eyes. We chatted quite a bit. I felt this overwhelming desire to help her and provide some guidance in her life. I offered to do some astrology for her to provide perspective as to what she was going through.

We were drawn to each other, and while I suppressed my feelings for her, to the point of getting sick, I didn’t realize until later how drawn to her I was. Likewise, it seemed she was drawn to me. When I would talk to other customers she apparently would listen in, and later ask me about things I discussed. I have wanted to find some land and build a log cabin. I was talking to someone about this and later she said – “so you want to build a cabin?” A few times she would stay after her shifts to talk to me. She didn’t know I was married because we never discussed me much, it was often more about her, life in general, or things like going green/sustainable living. Once she found out I was married she backed off. (It’s important to note that both of us have Venus in Capricorn – love + rules.)

She left the area for a month or more on an adventure and it was during this time that the Pluto/DSC line hit me and I told my wife we needed a change because I couldn’t keep going on like this. A couple days after I hit my wife with this news we were talking (this was almost exactly a month ago) and I also admitted I had feelings for someone else. This was the first time I was coming to terms with how I felt about my TF. My wife asked if I ever thought my feelings would go away and I said “I really don’t think they will.” (Keep in mind that I have Mercury trine Moon so I’m decent at expressing my true emotions.) Little did I know why I felt they would never go away.

A week or two later, my TF came back from her adventure. I ran into her at the grocery store and she seemed happy to see me. I was happy to see her as well. We chatted a bit and went on our way. I saw her a couple more times where she use to work. One of the last times I asked her for her phone number. It was a strange compulsion because I felt as though I may never see her again. I later had to explain to her that it wasn’t a “hey baby can I have your number.” At any rate, I continued to try to do some astrology for her, she has an ex/sorta ex she is still trying to figure out. I also told her that I cared a lot about her and really wanted to see her happy. I felt I was breaking my Venus/Cap rules by doing this.

During this time I started not sleeping very well, 4 hours a night at most and 2-3 was more normal, because I was strangely compelled to tell her how I felt about her. I had even asked my wife’s permission to tell her how I felt. My wife asked me why I wanted to do that and I said “I don’t know, I just feel I need to.”

So, coupled with the not sleeping well and trying to keep everything inside a week ago I just exploded. I asked her if I could be completely honest with her (I’m strangely big on permission). She said I could but wanted to give me back brutal honesty. That was fine with me. So I opened up my heart and laid it on the line. In the message I sent her, I even said “I feel like you broke me” and I was “scared and perplexed.” I honestly couldn’t understand why I was compelled to do this. (More on this in a bit.)

** By this time, about 2-3 weeks ago, I had done a synastry chart on the two of us and was rather amazed at the synastry.

The important thing that I’ve realized from this website:
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/11/3-signs-youve-met-your-twin-flame/

“It’s not to say that the runner can’t then become the chaser, but historically there is one twin flame who is the first to express their heart and lay it on the line.”

Well, that was me. I laid my heart on the line. This also apparently makes me the female energy and her the male energy, I have no problem with that. I have no doubt this scared her and she thinks I’m a lunatic (more on that).

My explosion was compounded by Pholus. Ami Anne once said “anything Pholus touches it explodes, just imagine an explosion and the insides coming out lol.” This is what happened. In synastry, her Pholus is conjunct my named asteroid (my chart). To compound matters, her progressed asteroid(me) was conjunct my Pholus which is conjunct my Mercury and trine my Moon. My insides (emotions) came out and I felt out of control. This broke my Venus/Cap rules big time and it freaked me out.

As for the lunatic part, my progressed Maniac asteroid is conjunct my Ascendant, of course making me appear like a lunatic – especially to her.

I apologized to her for the emotional explosion. I dug up the Pholus stuff and gave it to her as an explanation as to why this would happen. I even realized that her asteroid(name) in my chart was conjunct my DSC but retrograde and conjunct Nemesis (retrograde). Her Karma asteroid was conjunct her asteroid(name) in my chart. iQ offered a good explanation for this, beyond what I offered to her. I only knew it had to do with past lives and tried to make the best sense of it I could. I apologized for the explosion as well as what happened in our past life.

We have parted ways and she thinks because I am broken I need to fix myself. She left it with “this is not good bye forever, only until you heal.”

Truth is I am not sure what is going to happen or if we will really see each other again. I'd like to believe we will, but obviously there are things standing in our way - my marriage for one. There was a suggestion from someone that she was just letting me down easy, but then I ponder the stuff iQ said.

The only negative aspect that iQ provide to me in the composite with my TF was “Uranus square Mars is the weakest aspect here, this is an "Accident" Aspect, and you both must never take any Rash Action in haste to ensure there is no tragic separation.”

I can only hope my explosion and possible perception of being a lunatic isn't the rash action that keeps us from finding our way back to each other in some capacity. My gut feeling is that it could have been the rash action that separates us.

The truth is I will always carry love for her in my heart; this is not something that will go away. Only time will tell where this ends/begins, perhaps for another update.

So, the TF thing is incredibly real. And yes, there are things that will screw it up that make it so you won’t be together. Maybe if we don't find our way back to each other I will get it right in the next incarnation. Until then, I will be happy and thankful for this experience.


Sorry for the length. (edited)

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Randall
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posted October 20, 2017 05:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, iQ is great.

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Randall
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posted October 21, 2017 02:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for sharing.

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Mkya00
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted October 21, 2017 04:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks Randall. (And thanks again for adding me!)

I'd also like to add my TF and we had some incredibly weird synastry stuff beyond the normal planetary stuff.

1. Her asteroid(name)(ret.) conj. my DSC (6th house)
2. in between both is Nemesis (ret)
3. In synastery, her Karma asteroid is conj. her asteroid(name)(ret) in my chart
4. In synastry, my asteroid(name) in her chart is conjunct my Sun/Jupiter
5. Her Kaali is on my ASC directly opp. my Asteroid(her_name)(ret)
6. My Union (ret) is conjunct 1 deg or less her Vertex
7. Both our Destinn asteroids are conjunct by a little over 2 deg.

When we met...
1. Her progressed ASC crossed my Sun/Jupiter (of course her asteriod(myname) is conjunct that in synastry)
2. She also had Transit Pluto conjunct Juno
3. Transit Asteriod(myname) in her Chart is conjunct my Union(r) and her Vertex.


I think those are most of the crazy things I can think of. (edit, added more)

When I tried to explain to her the karma, past lives connection I could only assume that she was a Nemesis or I turned her into one.

iQ's explanation is better:
"NEMESIS conjunct HerName conjunct Descendant is a very interesting aspect.
It could mean her Clan was once a major Enemy of your Clan in a past lifetime,
and that despite the enmity, you both would have been lovers. Perhaps she
will get a past life recall of this due to the Kundalini Rise due to your presence in her present lifetime.
Her KARMA conjunct your HerName indicates that major karmic debts of the past are due to the specific Clan or Tribal interaction you had with her clan.
Her YourName conjunct your Sun and Jupiter means your Wisdom and Personality
are necessary in her life."

But, as I said above - the rashness aspect may have already been set in motion. Only time will tell.

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Randall
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posted October 22, 2017 06:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Orange
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From: Georgia
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posted November 28, 2017 06:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Orange     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting story but it exhausted you and messed up your life it seems.
What are some of the synastry aspects between you ?

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Randall
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posted November 29, 2017 08:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Post them here or the actual chart in Interpersonal Astrology.

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Randall
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posted November 30, 2017 10:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What are some of the aspects?

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Mystic Melody
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Posts: 878
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010

posted December 03, 2017 05:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mystic Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mkya, I'm sure she wants you to know for sure that you are not meant to be with your wife and that you are whole and healthy on your own before she is willing to explore anything starting between the two of you. Being someone who BELIEVES in astrology you seem at little "out there" from MY perspective so someone with little to no knowledge probably worries you are losing your mind. If you complete your prior relationship and take care of any ensuing responsibilities regarding that prior relationship... then make sure you are strong and clear in your mental/emotional/spiritual health... you can approach her in the way a man of your Mars sign and Moon sign and Sun sign energy might approach her... and if it is meant to be I assure you that her energies will have no choice but to respond back.

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Mkya00
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Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted December 03, 2017 09:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
Mkya, I'm sure she wants you to know for sure that you are not meant to be with your wife and that you are whole and healthy on your own before she is willing to explore anything starting between the two of you. Being someone who BELIEVES in astrology you seem at little "out there" from MY perspective so someone with little to no knowledge probably worries you are losing your mind. If you complete your prior relationship and take care of any ensuing responsibilities regarding that prior relationship... then make sure you are strong and clear in your mental/emotional/spiritual health... you can approach her in the way a man of your Mars sign and Moon sign and Sun sign energy might approach her... and if it is meant to be I assure you that her energies will have no choice but to respond back.

Out there, LOL. I have progressed Maniac on my ASC. It doesn't help I'm a quirky Aquarius Sun conj. Jupiter. conj. ASC. Sun/Jupiter in a grand trine with Saturn and Uranus.

I'm also the girl in the Twin Flame relationship, she's the boy. I'm the female validating energy that expressed my heart and laid it on the line.

Meant to be with my wife? Well, my wife claims we aren't really married and has already been on dates and spent the night with another guy. I think it's over, wouldn't you say? We just have a really screwed up situation right now from which I'm trying to break free.

It's funny, you are the 2nd person that sees me as "out there." I would argue my Twin Flame does, because I dumped my feelings and my reaction after my ego dissolved.

Until you have it happen, you shouldn't judge. :P

So, what exactly makes me crazy? I've never been more clear, other than the incredibly spiritual stuff that has been happening.

I will try to post the charts soon, will have to do some editing.

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Mkya00
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted December 04, 2017 05:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Orange:
Interesting story but it exhausted you and messed up your life it seems.
What are some of the synastry aspects between you ?

I don't think it messed up my life. If anything I feel more free and open.

Her and I have way more synastry aspects than iQ covered in his reading.

Would it be helpful to just copy and paste iQ's full reading in addition to charts?

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Mystic Melody
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posted December 04, 2017 10:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mystic Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not judging. I'm just a Capricorn moon and AC. I was trying to be helpful and down to earth, because when I am "out there" with my Air sign self, my earth partner can help me see how the "humans" think. I forget sometimes.

I think you do too. Ya weirdo.

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Mkya00
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted December 05, 2017 03:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
I'm not judging. I'm just a Capricorn moon and AC. I was trying to be helpful and down to earth, because when I am "out there" with my Air sign self, my earth partner can help me see how the "humans" think. I forget sometimes.

I think you do too. Ya weirdo.


My Twin Flame has tons of earth in her chart. Lots of Capricorn (Mars, Venus, Uranus and Neptune) with a Taurus Moon.

I honestly hope that one day her and I get to be a couple because she will definitely ground me.

I'm fairly logical as it is, with an economics/statistics background. However, the stuff happening lately is hard to explain to "normal" people.

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waxlobster
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From: Birmingham
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posted December 06, 2017 08:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for waxlobster     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are born a few days after me Myka. I’d pay less attention to progressed asteroids though, they’re going to have very little impact.

Look to Uranus opposite Uranus, square Venus, look to Chiron square Saturn, Saturn opposite Saturn, and Pluto square Chiron. Check out your house rulers the 4th house is affected somewhere here I would guess?

Real astrology uses the minor asteroids as a light-hearted add-on, sometimes the bigger asteroids are an important part of the picture, but *never* before the planets. You’ve got major chart stuff going on, that is actually where we need to look to build the full picture here.

I found with Uranus opposite Uranus (in my case t-conjunct my Dsc also) I did find myself drawn to somebody who could play that out. It was transient, fun, enlightening, it could be that this is where you’re finding yourself. No judgement but, you haven’t mentioned love.

Every time somebody talks about a soul connection and misses out the word ‘love’ I notice it. The *main* indication of twin flames is the depth of the love, not whether you have a named asteroid conjunct pholus.


------------------
blog: http://waxlobster.blogspot.co.uk/

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Mkya00
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Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted December 07, 2017 08:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by waxlobster:

I found with Uranus opposite Uranus (in my case t-conjunct my Dsc also) I did find myself drawn to somebody who could play that out. It was transient, fun, enlightening, it could be that this is where you’re finding yourself. No judgement but, you haven’t mentioned love.

Every time somebody talks about a soul connection and misses out the word ‘love’ I notice it. The *main* indication of twin flames is the depth of the love, not whether you have a named asteroid conjunct pholus.


How do you know you were born a few days after me?

The Twin Flame reading was provided by iQ. I have been working and preparing for a job interview, so I haven't had time to monkey with the charts.

I haven't mentioned love because what I feel for her is beyond what I originally thought love was. So, I don't use that word. And she is the runner, I don't desire to cause her to run anymore than she has to.

Because of meeting her and the Pholus explosion my heart, throat, and crown chakras have opened up.

Here is iQ's reading copy and pasted:

Synastry with Twin Flame:
===================

Her KAALI on your Ascendant indicates that you are a very important Trigger for her own Kundalini Experience/Kundalini Rise.
NEMESIS conjunct HerNAME conjunct Descendant is a very interesting aspect (all three are my chart).

It could mean her Clan was once a major Enemy of your Clan in a past lifetime,
and that despite the enmity, you both would have been lovers. Perhaps she will get a past life recall of this due to the Kundalini Rise due to your presence in her present lifetime.

Her KARMA conjunct your HerNAME indicates that major karmic debts of the past
are due to the specific Clan or Tribal interaction you had with her clan.

Her YourNAME conjunct your Sun and Jupiter means your Wisdom and Personality are necessary in her life. You both are destined to be in each others lives beyond just Karmic Debts, more of a Soul Contract. There is a chance that you both are Twin Flames.

We have Pluto sextile Pluto [weak] which is a Transformative Twin Flame Aspect, and needs the Transformation to look beyond Age Gap or even Generation for experiencing Immortal Unconditional Love.

Her Pluto also sextiles your Venus, EROS and JUNO, increasing chances of True Love.

Mars and Moon are in a Double Whammy. Your Moon sextiles her Mars plus Venus and her Moon conjuncts your Mars. This is a very passionate Emotional Understanding of each other's desires and need for love.

Lack of planets in each others 7th House is a weakness but powerful Pluto more than compensates for that.

Neither Saturn is in a damaging position, which is a very powerful clue about Twin Flames. This indicates minimum interpersonal Karmic Debts. You both can only stay together through unconditional love beyond the need to just
settle up and go your own way.

Another extraordinary aspect which can occur in Twin Flames is Uranus square Uranus. This is a clash in each others view of breaking free of Karma, and the clash will provoke new ways of Spiritual Evolution as a couple. something not seen in relationships with strong Saturn.

Jupiter sextile Jupiter can increase luck tremendously. How many possible couples can have 3 generational Planets aspect
like this? One in many millions.

The Composite will have more clues regarding you both being Twin Flames.

Composite with Twin Flame:
====================
Many clues point to you both having more than 90% chance of being Twin Flames. If you are not, then this is possibly the closest you both will get to meeting a Twin Flame in this incarnation.

The Leo Moon is in the 7th House. 7th Lord is Sun and Sun is conjunct 9th Lord Venus exact in the 12th House of Past Lifetimes. Clear evidence of very loving past lifetime relationships.

Jupiter and JUNO conjunct exact in the 12th House, this is another Twin Flame Aspect.

We see ISIS and OSIRIS conjunct as well, one of my favorite Twin Flame aspects, pointing to a past lifetime in Ancient Egypt as lovers. Very crucial point is that ISIS and OSIRIS are also conjunct the Super Galactic Center in the Composite, proving a 5th Dimension Level OverSoul to OverSoul Twin Soul Love. Fragments of the Twin Soul are Twin Flames.

Pluto trines both AMOR and EROS, indicating strong Energy for transformational Love.

Pluto also makes a 72 degrees rare aspect called quintile with Venus.

PARVATI opposition SIVA is also a Twin Flame Aspect indicating a major "Ego Clash" in past life marriages.

We also have Mars weakly sextile Venus to boost love for the long term.

CHiron opposes Sun and Venus but Mars trines Chiron to balance any negative wound to love.

Uranus square Mars is the weakest aspect here, this is an "Accident" Aspect, and you both must never take any Rash Action in haste to ensure there is no tragic separation.

================================================================================================

I will post the charts when I get a chance, will have to do some editing. Job interview tomorrow and I'm sitting in a hotel.

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Mkya00
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted December 08, 2017 04:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Job interview got canceled, snow!

There is more to this tale. Given iQ's explanation of "Clan rivalry" I went digging into our family charts. There is incredible overlap, which I will begin to provide in a separate post.

I'm also working on a spreadsheet for iQ to help him see the overlap better. It includes asteroids that weren't looked at, such as - Meta and Pholus.

Synastry

Composite

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Mkya00
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted December 08, 2017 08:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is just one thing, again I'm creating a spreadsheet to send to iQ but it's a long task comparing 7 diff. charts (including my son). Ideally, I could be doing 9 charts, using her siblings info.

R = me
M = my twin flame

If you need explanation let me know, this is just a cut/paste from the spreadsheet. And I'm not even remotely done.

This is like looking at a stellium of Leo across two families. So much craziness.

Leo family overlap:

Leo
M
Karma 11d 9m



M's Dad
R 13d 16m


M's Mom
...


R
M 12d 49m
Nemsis 14d 14m
M's brother 13d 56m
DSC 16d 11m

R's Dad
R 12d 29m
Alma 11d 43m
Pluto 15d 49m

R's Mom
MC 10d 56m
Pluto 17d 47m
Mars 19d 14m
M's Brother 20d 54m

R's Son
...

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Randall
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posted December 09, 2017 01:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How much did you get?

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Mkya00
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted December 09, 2017 06:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
How much did you get?

I was in the NC mountains for a job interview that didn't happen. I think the report was the area got about 10-12 inches. Though it did vary slightly by area.

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Randall
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posted December 10, 2017 02:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Was it rescheduled?

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Randall
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posted December 11, 2017 05:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Are you still trying for that job?

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Mkya00
Knowflake

Posts: 85
From: Hawkins, IN
Registered: Oct 2017

posted December 12, 2017 07:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mkya00     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Are you still trying for that job?

I am still trying for that job. They aren't officially scheduling interviews until January. So, the fact that they were willing to see me this early is a good thing, I hope.

I sent both people in the hiring process personalized Christmas cards thanking them for willing to see me ahead of schedule. So, here is hoping.

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Randall
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posted December 13, 2017 11:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good luck!

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Randall
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posted December 14, 2017 02:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Let us know how it goes.

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Randall
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posted December 15, 2017 05:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, sending the cards was a good move.

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