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Author Topic:   What If This Is the Reason Straight Dudes Wonít Commit?
vansio
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posted December 27, 2021 08:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
http://repeller.com/relationship-commitment-dating/

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teasel
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posted December 27, 2021 02:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've heard that some men wait until they feel more secure financially, before committing (or more likely, proposing, so they've already committed beforehand).

I think the rest just don't want to. They don't mind stringing women along, and they get away with it, so they don't stop. I did read this, this morning, but I'm lacking sleep, so I might re-read it later.

Taurus had his moments, but he really just did the bare minimum, and then at times, was so rude. I'm not into the rudeness.

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vansio
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From: the outskirts of Delphi
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posted December 27, 2021 07:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
the article mentions that men are prone to internalize a lot

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GalacticCoreExplosionV2
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posted December 27, 2021 10:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GalacticCoreExplosionV2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've never dated a guy. So I can't speak to and from that aspect. But from my experience--well, I seem to attract and/or be attracted to those women that are more like stereotypical men--women with more closed hearts that are afraid to be vulnerable, and tend to be higher in ego.

I have noticed that is a common pattern for people with high empathy in general, whether connected to a female or male body. It's just that females tend to have higher levels of empathy than males on average, and so you see more of this with females to males, than males with females.

Yay, so much fun being the exception to the rule.

But I have realized from the last 3 or 4 connections that I have had, that I seem to have this pattern. I get briefly involved with a woman like the above, I help to open up her heart some, and then after that happens, I'm immediately left behind in the dust. I guess it's a type of retrieval and that I shouldn't take it personally and look at it more as an opportunity for service and healing, BUT dang if it doesn't hurt the ego/human part at times.

I'm very tempted at times to have no connection at all in the first place. And generally, I have stayed away from romance and dating (and especially actively looking/trying), but sometimes these situations get thrown in my face when I'm not looking for them. Weird, random, beyond chance encounters.

Like one time I went camping solo at a state park and ended up being right next to a woman who was also camping solo. First, very few people solo camp at this state park (its in a kind of party/vacation city), and 2nd, women rarely solo camp more specifically. It was like we were meant to meet, talk, interact.

I got definite narcissist type vibes from her from the very get go (and that was only confirmed the more I got to know her), and eventually after about a week of talking, we decided to end the connection (oddly me more so than her, this time, guess I'm finally learning to have better boundaries, etc), but hopefully I planted some seeds, because before then we did have some deep talks, and I get the sense that I did some energetic work on her (especially during sleep state).

(There was no sex nor physicality involved at any point. I suppose there was potential for that with her Sag stellium in my 5th and her Libra Mars on my Libra Moon, but while part of me wanted to go there [the body duh], another part of me was like, no, no, no).

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GalacticCoreExplosionV2
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posted December 27, 2021 10:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GalacticCoreExplosionV2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Chart wise I relate this to Libra Moon widely conjunct Virgo Saturn, Jupiter ruler of the 5th conjunct Mars, and angular Aqua Venus (ruler of the Moon) square angular Scorpio Uranus.

Strong Saturn, Mars, and Uranus combos in people doesn't tend to be too fun, because the fear and/or ego tends to be rather high, while vulnerability tends to be rather low.

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vansio
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posted December 28, 2021 07:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
once bitten, twice shy
http://imgur.com/a/wdNyrCR

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Randall
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posted December 28, 2021 10:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Define commitment. Not committing and stringing women alone are two entirely different things. No need to conflate the two. If a man is dating someone exclusively, is he not committed? If all a woman wants is marriage, then she should find a marriage minded man and stop wasting her time. That still doesnít mean the man hasnít committed to her and her alone while they are together. Some women also never want to get married. What I donít get are the women who say they want a nice guy but repeatedly date obvious douche bags who cheat on them and treat them badly. Anyone else can spot them a mile away. Also, getting to know someone before you commit to that person is not stringing that person along. Back to marriage, we all know that half will end in divorce. That doesnít mean the entire other half are happy marriages. Many stay together for financial reasons or for the children but are still miserable. It is perfectly fine to face the truth about the low odds of having a happy one. I think every single one should involve a prenup. A marriage is a contract. Every good contract should have terms for what happens in case of a dissolution of said contract. Doesnít it make sense to discuss all that now while you are still in love and care about the other personís needs, rather than fighting it out later when you hate one another?

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GalacticCoreExplosionV2
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posted February 12, 2022 06:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GalacticCoreExplosionV2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Define commitment. Not committing and stringing women alone are two entirely different things. No need to conflate the two. If a man is dating someone exclusively, is he not committed? If all a woman wants is marriage, then she should find a marriage minded man and stop wasting her time. That still doesnít mean the man hasnít committed to her and her alone while they are together. Some women also never want to get married.
What I donít get are the women who say they want a nice guy but repeatedly date obvious douche bags who cheat on them and treat them badly. Anyone else can spot them a mile away. Also, getting to know someone before you commit to that person is not stringing that person along. Back to marriage, we all know that half will end in divorce. That doesnít mean the entire other half are happy marriages. Many stay together for financial reasons or for the children but are still miserable. It is perfectly fine to face the truth about the low odds of having a happy one. I think every single one should involve a prenup. A marriage is a contract. Every good contract should have terms for what happens in case of a dissolution of said contract. Doesnít it make sense to discuss all that now while you are still in love and care about the other personís needs, rather than fighting it out later when you hate one another?

All this, but especially the part I put in bold. I've seen this often. I think there are two main reasons for this. One, lack of true self love, and 2. body influences. Douche bag type guys tend to be higher in testosterone than the average, as they tend to be highly attuned to strong Mars, Saturn (the Planet, not Cap or Aqua), and/or Pluto, with a lack of Venus, Jupiter, Neptune, and Sun.

This is more attractive to the female body at a genetic, and thus lust level. Many people, whether connected to male or female bodies, are more slaves to the body and its urges than we tend to prefer to be aware of/conscious to.

I will say, that there is likely at least a slightly higher percentage of men, than women out there, that have more closed off and/or at least somewhat shut down hearts. Hence, it is somewhat easier for a guy to find a woman with a more open heart than it is for a woman to find a man with a more open heart. There are both cultural-habitual and genetic-evolution reasons for this difference--however much some modern groups want to rewrite history and evolution--you can't just erase millions and hundreds of thousands of years of habitual, group-collective, physical influence, and say, "there is no difference between the genders" blah blah blah because of "equality".

The genders are equal in importance, and importance of meaning--that doesn't mean that there are no fundamental, archetypal differences. I'm pretty sure that if I had incarnated in a female body rather than a male body, I'd probably be expressing in and experiencing this dimension differently in some important/key ways than I am now, and I say that as a guy whose soul is strongly attuned to the Yin side of consciousness.

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saronna
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posted February 12, 2022 06:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for saronna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Soulmates don't have to be married to have a committment to each other. It can be a committment when you are dating each other exclusively for soulmates. There's alot of unhappy marriages & relationships because they are not soulmates. A soulmate can be someone you waited a long time for & got to know. & a soulmate doesn't have to be love at first sight

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