posted March 13, 2008 10:52 PM         

I don't know how exactly to articulate this- but I have no luck in romance. None zip nada...and the loneliness is killing me. I'm twenty three years old (almost twenty four) and have only been in a few relationships, the longest lasting 3 months. Up until turning twenty I was at least able to get a few dates here and there; but since then there has only been one young lady, and that was a disaster not worth elaborating upon. I've only been in a "more initimate" situation once, and have only kissed the two girls I dated. Which doesn't bother me directly, but the few women who've shown interest in the last few years have walked away because of my lack of experience- and it hurts me on a deeper level because the vast majority of women I seem to attract are ones who are already in a relationship (and I refuse to get involved then) or are looking to "hook-up" and that isn't quite my thing.

Just recently, I had a young lady courting me rather feverently who wasn't quite on the level. I was working with her; and though she was awfully blantant with her flirtation, I could tell she had a boyfriend and her flirtation wasn't on the up and up. So I couldn't bring myself to even fake interest, though for the sake of honesty, some of those days I wish I could "go with the flow." The "relationship" consisted of her flirting to no reciprocation, and the other women avoided me like the plague.

And I think this incident is a good example of what usually happens, which elicits a bizarre mixture of complex emotions and thoughts within me that I feel I have no way of properly explaining.

In a display of more disclosure, I sometimes feel like I am being beaten with a brick to the side of my head when I frequent this message board and see people post about the patience they have in relationships, and though I don't feel jealousy, it makes me wonder why I cannot attract someone who will treat me with a modicum of respect and patience, and try not to treat me like a fool. And I feel ashamed to even ask for that, because it makes me feel like I am being too demanding, and ignoring my own faults. Which are certainly plenty; but just as equally no worse than the average persons'.

So thank you for reading all of this, I guess there is a lot to get off my chest, which I'm not always able to in real life (the few times I have tried to talk to friends about this, I get this incredulous response, people treat me like I'd be the last person to have problems, and they laugh it off.)

My natal information is:

May 6th, 1984
8:27 PM
New Rochelle, New York

Any information in my chart as to why this is such a problem and if I have any hope would be helpful. Though I am certainly not going to give up, this wound that I am not always confident I can handle.

Thanks Again

posted March 14, 2008 01:31 AM         

You are only 23 years old. Asking a couple of girls/women/guys from the office out for a cup of coffee just to pass the time of day isnt going to hurt you. Its not a date, its just office and personal chit-chat so that you can get to know them, and they you, a little better. Then, once youve done this a few times, asking a girl out on a date isnt such a problem, you can start by asking her out to coffee first and then work your way from there.

posted March 14, 2008 12:17 PM         

It would be one thing if you felt like no one was ever attracted to you (that's how I'm feeling now...like no one is ever mutually attracted to me)--but that's not the case.

You're very young, and you are being REALLY uptight!! Looking at your chart (12th house Saturn-Mars conjunction in Scorpio, Saturn opposite Sun and Venus in the 6th House), everything feels very serious to you, and one of your challenges, especially as a Taurus/Scorpio rising/Taurus Venus/Scorpio Mars is to stop being so rigid and fixed. You need to fight the tendency to be judgemental.

While I fully understand (and applaud)your lack of desire to flirt with or get involved with someone who is already in a relationship, in your post it sounds like you're focusing more on judging others in general and what you think they want than on following your heart and enjoying life.

Real relationships are built by getting to know each other, one day at a time. You have a lot of aspects in your chart (heavy Taurus and Scorpio, Cancer moon) that make you the sort of person who wants to plan the entire relationship in advance in your head in order to feel secure. A person can want a fifty year marriage or want a one-night "hook up" in the abstract, but in real life, what happens between two people unfolds in the present moment. That makes the fixed signs very uncomfortable--how can we control what's happening, then?

You're being uptight and judgemental because you're scared. Instead of trying to control howe someone will treat you, feeling bitter and angry, etc, you have to charge forward from a place of love, excitement and happiness--going directly for what YOU want, and spending less time freaking out about whether or not people are treating you right.

You don't have a wound in your chart--just challenges, like everyone else. Your big challenge is to find lightness, fun, glee, joy, spontaneity and a sense of humor. (I bet you have a great sense of humor as in wit etc...I mean a sense of humor and fun about your own emotional life. I'm a Cancer moon too and our challenge is that we take everything that happens soooo seriously.)

I think you should "hook up" even if it isn't quite your thing. Do some hanging out with women. Make and explore some deep friendships with women and don't worry at the beginning about whether they'll stay platonic, or turn into more. Get some experience, with someone who's mutually excited to kiss and touch you. Guess what? Most "relationships" that work begin with fun--"hookups", flirtation, hanging out. All that casual fun leads to getting to know each other more deeply. The challenge of your chart is to be brave enough to enjoy life in the moment.