posted September 13, 2009 11:11 AM         

I think I always felt something special for him, he touched my heart in ways that I couldn't quite pin down...
Before I never considered him a posibility, I was too blind looking in the wrong direction... My cute little kitten, so sweet and tender... so sincere, so well hearted...

I knew he liked me, that he found me attractive... but I never even dared to believe that he could have a real interest on me being so old for him... he's a kid compared with me...

Suddenly I'm free from what kept me distracted, I yearn for love and passion... and bang!! There he is... looking at me with that strange longing...

There is a kind of magic between us... my sweet little kitten...
However I have a weird knack to make him mad with my sharp tongue, even when I'm just playing... he gets deeply hurt and becomes a snappy lion... and growls trying to bite back... which I end up not finding funny... as it is so unfair... it was anly a game!!! but he always ends up taking it personally as if I wouldn't value him.
Why does he get upset??
Weirdly, the following day, all is forgotten... My offended self is misteriously feeling fond and warm towards him again and he is again my sweet little kitten.

It's obvious that he finds me attractive... but even the rest of men in the room are praising me, he would never do...

I also think that he may be frustrated because of the unsatisfied desire... sex, love... having me there, so close so far...

I feel kind of lost... I'm puzzled... How can I keep the natural harmony? There is so much positive energy flowing that I don't know why he is reacting that way... I must be doing it...
Is he feeling insecure? Why does he feel attacked?
I'm feeling blocked, stuck... there, so close... unable to touch him.

posted September 18, 2009 12:38 PM         

Thanks for replying!!

Well, I have tried saying that he gets upset when I pick on him... that I make him mad... And he would not accept he does...
I think it's a question of pride... He would not appear as if I have any power over him... He's the King of the Jungle, you see?

He would die before accepting that he is crazy for me (I think he is but it's only a perception)... For some reason, I think he belives I'm out of reach... It feels as if he was frustrated and angry towards himself because he likes me so much and cannot have me...

I don't know how to lead him towards me without hurting his oversensitive ego...

Of course we need more communication!!! That's the thing!!! How to do it without dragging my own pride to the ground... My self-steem is already battered and I will not risk it one bit... Plus the fact that we work in the same department and I'm hierarchically above him...

I'm stuck... Tricks to ease the Big Cat???

posted September 18, 2009 04:31 PM         

Seriously, the others have noticed that I don't pick on him that much... that I even support him to bite back when they try to pick on him (he's so sweeeeet... so well-hearted...).
The thing is that he goes out of his way to pretend he is not interested even when he visibly gets crazy when I flirt with any other man...
He's not naturally jealous... I think he's just insecure...

What really gets him purring is me choosing him over the rest for something, almost anything... He has to be the one to receive... It's funny how the irritable and cool distant pose suddenly becomes happily childish... His eyes sparkle only because I brought cookies that were left from a meeting and I choose to put them on his desk... If I choose someone else's desk, his eyes become dark as if I had stabbed him right in his heart...
It's SO hard to make him feel as the only man in the world when I'm a single young woman in a male dominated environment... Plus I don't have cookies to give away everyday!!!

He's so easily wounded these days... Today, the whole team was comming to my office... he approached me straight away with a warm look in his eyes... but I asked him not to (I am feeling quite sick today... It could be the flu and nowadays I wouldn't like to transmit any kind of flu to anyone... just in case... I have been asking people to not come close to me all day). He didn't react very well, I bet he felt rejected in front of everybody... I could see the anger in his eyes... It only lasted a second, when I explained and he saw my drained expresion... He softened instantly looking concerned but never went back to his initial warmth...

posted September 23, 2009 05:34 PM         

i have hesitated responding because this composite is unusual inthat it reflects on mental/emotional dynamics that are deep in your psyche.and i feel this relationship is archetypal for you.by that i mean this is not the first younger man your've had affairs with .i'm not passing judgement but again pointing out that deep emotional issues are at the base of your need for younger men.my analysis may not be what you expect because much of this relationship is not about you and he as persons but as reflections of subconscious emotional issues.
what really set me on my heels is the venus/moon midpoint conjunct the uranus/pluto midpoint.this indicates that negative emotional issues from early childhood experiences have left you with a emotional void that you try to fill with sensual pleasure.these childhood experiences are of a abusive nature but likely so early in your life as to have nor memory of some.but this shows a person who may have been treated as a sexual object rather than a loving person.
the venus/mars midpoint is conjunct the sun which shows the obvious emotional/physical atraction betwen you.but with a semisquare of this configuration to pluto,the relationship is rawly sexual in nature and hence likely to be brief after you and he have gotten what you want out of the relationship.the pluto influence makes it almost impossible to have a truly emotional bonding relationship.
true there is a strong idealistic and romantic affection as shown by the mars square the neptune/eros conjunction but this is illusionary as this aspect shows infidelity .sexual pleasure but no commitment.it is as if he is giving what you need but not what you think you are getting.this interpretation is furthered by the by the mars/neptune midpoint opposed to lilth and sedna as this shows that he responds to your feelings of insecurity but that there is also misrepresentation involved.
with uranus square to the midheaven axis,this can only be a brief romance and it may be painful if you do "fall in love" brcaude the moon/saturn mipoint is conjunct uranus.this midpoint shows were devotion resides in the composite.in this case you are devoted to a feeling that will not sustain.the moon/jupiter midpoint is also conjunct uranus which brings in a finacial element.it could be that you may try to give him "things" to reinforce his "love " of you.but it will not work out because nothing will make this relationship steay.
this transitory state is also pointed to by the sun/uranus midpoint conjunct pluto.it is as if the more your love hiom the quicker he will leave.
the sharpness and criticism that permeades your relations with him are most likely a function of th efinger of god between chiron/neptune and pluto.this indicates that seeming little warm emotional pricks unleash the deep issues in him as he is as subject ot his subconscious issue as you are.

posted October 03, 2009 05:31 PM         

Thanks for the interpretation, I had already forgotten about this post...

I must admit I didn't expect such a negative interpretation... It sounds as a destructive potential relationship and reading about it I now only want to run as fast as I can...

I have never fallen for a younger man before. Some others have "read" in my chart that abusive experience in my childhood that I can't remember. I do feel a void and an inability to connect, to feel or give love... and I'm very sexually and sensually blocked.

I do feel a raw atraction towards him but also a lot of tenderness...

posted October 06, 2009 05:52 PM         

I've thinking about this... And really... It sounds like it's fated to go wrong!!! But I always thought that astrology talked about certain energies that could manifest in many ways... and that people could harness them.

If we belive that something will go wrong it will certainly will... I believe that...

You really made me sank on Saturday, I know you were trying to be honest about what you believe it's the truth... but...

You are making quite dangerous statements... Was I sexually abused being a child? I don't remember anything... Knowing my family, I would say my father is not capable of that... what about my younger brother and sister??

I must admit that there is something very wrong in me regarding sexuality and that it makes me fear being treated as an object... that I'm blocked in that sense because at the same time I'm very sexually driven...
I'm trying to sort that out... I'm even thinking that it has something to do with a past life...

That guy may not be the best one for me... In fact, after your interpretation I have been thinking and there are things I have considered... for example the fact that he is so young that his expectations are probably nothing further great sex and I need someone supportive enough to hang on to and trust love and relaxing towards sex... he is not ideal... The fact that he only may see how sexually attractive he finds me not thinking about the consequences... that he may realise he's not prepared for compromise with an older woman after he has got what he wants...

But... why should I judge him and the other possibles outcomes without giving love a chance? Is it impossible? Why should it be? Tell me it is difficult... Tell me to be careful and go slowly... but don't put images in my mind... because then they will certainly materialise... Tell me how to deal with him, how to harness the energy... Give me a chance... the right to give love an opportunity...

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful because you took away my rosey glasses... I had dreamed him to be (maybe) my soulmate... Maybe not... but at least don't make me escape as if he was a demon going to destroy me...

posted October 06, 2009 06:40 PM         

Did you??? I don't remember!!! I will search for that post... it's funny... how did you know??

The thing is that Todd told me all the things I have always feared of a relationship, so I'm fighting hard not to run away, which is what I tend to do when unsure...

I may have attracted all that to my life after many years irrationally fearing them with such intensity...

But I want to change... I want to feel that love is posible... That I don't have to be a victim anymore... that if I radiate the right kind of energy I would just not attract that kind of experience...

That when you love someone, only good things can happen...

That's why I need a positive view... a "how to deal with it" instead of a "it's a fated failure so run"... and in the process I may discover I don't like him that much...

I'm really sick of fearing and not trying, of being safely terrified... I want to decide, I want to give love a chance... and discard him after at least consider him instead of before.

posted October 07, 2009 03:16 AM         

When you love someone ANYTHING can happen, which is why it's so scary.

posted October 07, 2009 07:54 AM         

Yes, anything can happen... and initially it could look bad for you because it makes you suffer... but in the long run, in my experience, it proves to be good for you...