posted September 28, 2009 03:18 PM         

quote:

---

when you read my explanation your pride was wounded... rather than consciously (and humbly) take the new information into account, you reacted unconsciously, by defending your original p.o.v. with even greater vehemence. The result is an unfortunate display of irony; your response is replete with bias and contradiction.

---

The only hasted reaction I had was the one that Yin stated, and I apologize for that.
But if stating one's disagreements means that I didn't humbly take the new information into account coz my pride was hurt, that my responses are replete with bias and contradiction, and that it results in a display of irony - then I suppose that you can't actually accept disagreements.

quote:

---

Now, instead of a mature discussion, we have a desperate competition between egos. No thanks. I've said my peace. You can make of it what you will. Take care.

---

It sure has become that way. Instead of talking about my comments, you made personal assumptions about me. No thanks too.

posted September 28, 2009 03:19 PM         

Although I did agree with valus, that it focused on the negative, and in fact the 7th house venus/sun conjunction was noticed after I said we were married. as to let him know it was an actual relationship, not a made up one.

I think todd has good insights, definately...

posted September 28, 2009 04:42 PM         

quote:

---

like anything else if you look for a red flag you will find it, if you look for green flags, I guess you will find those too.

---

My problem is with readings that look for red OR green flags, pass or fail, "good" or "bad", "meant to be" or disastrous.

I am more interested in the richer, deeper content of human relationships. I'm interested in:
-what I (and the other person) can learn from a relationship
-the details of the ways we might effect each other
-the ways we are (or are not) attracted to each other
-the activities and interests that we pursue together
-the details of the erotic or creative nature of our connection
-the connection between the relationship and each person's happiest life path
-the challenges that we are likely to face in interacting with each other
-the potentials for growth, inspiration, and bliss that the relationship is likely to bring us

posted September 28, 2009 04:53 PM         

nothing like a map showing us the best direction or how to avoid some of the pitfalls of life.

posted September 28, 2009 08:06 PM         

Why must one rely so heavily on someone else's validation on your relatiionship..?

It is your relationship afterall and you are in this relationship and you have to be in this relationship..no one else..including the astrologer..only you would truely know how to validate your own relationship, wouldn't you?O.o

I never had an actual astrologer read a synastry/composite chart for me.I had to go and do my own research and in my own honest opinion I like it better that way.

Though I do not mind sharing what I have learned with others but I will not let someone else validate my relationship to me.

posted September 28, 2009 09:28 PM         

I like the idea of analyzing relationships in depth, from many different perspectives. I hate the "Is He My Soul Mate?" yes/no questions that pop up a lot here, partly for that reason. Actually, I like the idea of analyzing EVERYTHING in depth, from many different perspectives, not just relationships. I also hate the whole "He's Just Not That Into You" thing for the same reason...I don't really care about yes/no, good/bad answers...I want to know the details of what people are thinking/feeling and WHY and how it's all playing out.

Personally, when I feel compelled to ask an outside reader for insight on a relationship, it's most often a relationship that confuses me or that brings up issues and dynamics I don't quite understand.

posted September 29, 2009 11:12 AM         

I had Mars Square Ascendant and Mars Square Pluto in my last relationship. Mars Square Pluto according to Astro.com is supposed to be violent:

"Consequently this aspect can create the most intense competition between two people. When the energies of this aspect operate unconsciously in a relationship, they can lead to considerable violence."

We never had so much as a heated argument in two years, and the breakup was the most peaceful kind of breakup you could imagine. If I remember I'll post our composite some time (I don't have time right now). It's full of harsh aspects.

posted September 29, 2009 01:34 PM         

quote:

---

Even if you crash and burn, at least you were on fire a while, eh?

---

posted September 29, 2009 02:44 PM         

post the composite or the birth data.
i will try to get to it tomorrow.

posted September 29, 2009 03:38 PM         

quote:

---

Even if Todd had told me that BD would stab me in my sleep tomorrow...

---

That is so very Aries of you...not timid folk. Have you guys read my reading from Todd? It basically said this about the guy I asked about! I appreciate the warning/fresh perspective, but I admit I would've been way less appreciative to get a reading like that about a guy I was in love with or had married. And I would've been even more appreciative to hear multiple ways that our dynamic might play out, and/or suggestions for how to fruitfully work with the relationship. (As Valus says, "But astrology is a game of probabilities, and often the most challenging aspects can be the most fertile and creative. It depends greatly on the consciousness of the natives; something which cannot always be read in a chart.") In 35 years of relating to people, I haven't been deceived yet by anyone ill-intentioned (or, I never found out about it!)...so if it's true that the guy I asked about has a nefarious plan vis-a-vis me, it would be helpful/fascinating to explore my own motivations for that involvement.

I agree that Todd is well-intentioned and many have had readings from him that they find accurate...but I think Valus is ALSO well-intentioned in this thread. I find the idea that his initial post was motivated by jealousy re: astrological skill to be patently absurd. I think his original point is more than fair.

I mean, there's something soooo seductive about a definitive reading: "This guy is deceiving you and that's the only possible way the relationship could EVER go, because of the time/place you breathed your first breath mixed with the time/place he breathed his first breath"...

I suspect that many, if not most, people who are drawn to astrology wish they could know things that definitively and are attracted to fatalism...even if it's a conflicted and semi-masochistic attraction. But frankly, I think astrology is only accurate if you allow for multiple possibilities. Which, in turn, at least to me, makes it less seductive and interesting! But then, on the other hand, I guess I'm glad the universe is more complex than that.

I don't think Valus was arguing that readings should be sugarcoated...just that they should accurately reflect the complexities and multiple possibilities in a chart...although maybe I am misunderstanding him.

posted September 29, 2009 03:40 PM         

Maybe everyone should stop dissecting Todd and thank him for the time he's taken to even look at these trends and composites. If you don't like what he said, then don't ask for another reading, or ask someone else...I kinda look at chart readings like I do tarot, though they can encourage me greatly or make me wary of things to look out for, they are still attached to that little thing called "free will."

posted September 29, 2009 03:57 PM         

Sites like Lindaland are a useful tool for learning astrology, so discussions about the form, content, and details of the different kinds of readings that are offered by gifted and experienced astrologers are enormously helpful pedagogically. They do not intend to disrespect those astrologers.