posted August 14, 2010 04:18 PM         

I have a reading request as I am very stressed over situations in my life..

I am seeing a man I've loved a long time, and our long-distance situation makes it hard for us to make the kind of progress I long for. We had been together twice before in the past 9 years, and had gotten back together this February in a very dramatic fashion (running into each other & instantly getting back together 6 weeks before he had to move away), but still haven't discussed the past (what happened since the last break-up), and it's causing stress (for me at least) - I feel like it may be impeding our getting closer despite how close we are - it doesn't help to ignore the 2-ton elephant in the room. I am so very ready to settle down as I am in my mid-30s, and anxious to have a family before it is late, yet I am keeping myself from pressuring him as I want him to get there by himself.. I worry because he is taking a long time to make a decision to commit in a solid way - I worry he may be letting fear of getting hurt slow him down, or perhaps he is waiting for me to move closer.. I hesitate to bring up issues because as good as we are at everything else, our communication skills leave something to be desired.

My career's also been stagnant for some time - I am in one where I am terribly under-paid and over-worked (I know, cliched), and need to make a move on soon, so I can work on regularizing my visa. I have been looking for jobs that are better-suited to my skill set than my current one and near him, and despite my getting called for interviews, it is taking a long time to find one that is a good match both ways. I'm very stressed out, and in addition to all this, am dealing with family pressures as well that are all adding to this feeling of extremely overwhelmed. I am well aware they will have trouble accepting him as they are very conservative and closed-minded, so I have not told them about my guy, and the fact that our relationship feels like it is in suspended animation, isn't helping. My mother is driving me crazy since she has chosen me as her pet project to worry over, and knows just how to push my buttons. I feel like I may just explode one of these days and do something I may regret..

Anyhow, I am writing to request a reading on any of these issues - primarily relationship (from a standpoint of commitment) and career, but any insight on the other issue (family) would be appreciated as well. I am offering horary reading as a thank-you for your efforts.

posted August 14, 2010 08:39 PM         

When reading your question, my first gut response to the guy question was "no."
The feeling got stronger as I read because what you said about communication and the white elephant is very telling in and of itself.

But, just to be sure, I used The Sabian Symbol Oracle, and got Libra 24 degrees= A Third Wing On The Left Side Of A Butterfly.

Now, being an astrologer, you probably have your own interp for this symbol, but I'll tell you mine.
A butterfly cannot fly with a third wing, it isn't possible.
It seems like the butterfly, and maybe the two of you, would just go round and round in circles and never get anywhere.

I think there is alot of love there, but for the circumstances being what they are, I just don't feel you working it all out ATM.

I think this relationship is what is causing all of the other stress, which you see spilling over into other areas of your life. That's the way stress works.
Anyway, I know Mothers can be annoying, and alot of us have issues with our Moms, but, sometimes a Mothers wisdom is spot on.
Maybe if she is worried about you, it's with good reason.

Here is the books interp of the symbol..

Love/relationships- A relationship that has a dimension to it, or missing from it, that can be seen as either a burden or blessing. This may imply a third party intruding upon an existing relationship, but do not jump to this conclusion without checking out the facts.

KEEP FOCUSING ON- What this 'extra wing' represents- it could have value or it could prove to be an aberration... ruthlessly cutting out anything of anyone leeching you.

WHAT OUT FOR- making comparisons, especially when someone or something is an unknown factor.. disowning an awkward aspect to a relationship that really belongs to you; if anything is bothering you and cannot be shaken off, this implies that there is something you are not 'owning' about yourself that you are projecting on to another. What is it?

WORK/MONEY
You have something in progress that might look very unlikely to others- and even to yourself- but then you are attempting to accomplish something that has not been done before.

KEEP FOCUSED ON- any extraordinary talent that sets you apart from the rest, even though it can make you feel a freak or out on a limb.. your most closely held ideals; the pain you feel and the effort you make are commensurate with what you hold dear.

WATCH OUT FOR- signs that what you have in mind is a very long shot, and that it is becoming a waste of your time and energy. But be very sure giving up.

RE: that last line. I thought that when I read your initial post. Alot of people dislike their jobs, and are underpaid, myself included, but the economy is so bad, that sometimes a bad job is better than no job.. and like I said, maybe your other stress is making your work stress more magnified. Try not to make any rash decisions at this time, concerning work, is my advice.

posted August 20, 2010 01:25 AM         

So sorry for the belated post, I'd missed this due to heavy travel these past few days! Thank you much for the read..

WHen you say 'ATM', do you mean "at the moment"? Cause I just froze in utter fear for a second there, lol.. I am really attached to him, as you can probably tell, lol. We have felt drawn to each other time & time again, that, to use a cliched word, we are Soulmates, supposed to be together. We just haven't clicked this well with anyone else, and mostly haven't chosen to. Things just felt right between us from the very start, and he is one of very few people in my life that I feel can understand me better than anyone else. So I really hope that we still work out, and in fact, over my travels, I got to see him for a day this past week - I felt much better because things were great between us - he seemed to be trying to take it to the next level, asking me how I felt about having kids, if I wanted them - when I said I wasn't 100% sure, that I would figure it out, he said it was something to figure out before getting married! We were interrupted before we could continue that conversation *groan*, but I was thrown he even brought it up.. I wish he were more communicative (but what am I saying, he's a guy, and cautious with direct expressions of feelings at that - his Sun in Pisces opp his Moon/Saturn in Virgo).

But I do feel you're right, we have some issues to tackle before it can happen, perhaps.. like meeting each others' families for one, and open communication that I'd like to have, to put the past to rest.

Speaking of which, my first thought on reading about the third wing of the butterfly was that it may represent my mother. Unfortunately, as wonderful a mother as she always has been, and as loving as she is, she is too focused on me to the extent of being unhealthy about it. ...(deleted)

I think that third wing is her and the Sabian may indicate I best deal with that before I can do other things..

Thank you for your input, Gypsee, and please let me know when you have a horary question you'd like answered.. you must ask it at the time it is most pressing, when you are least attached to the outcome and have a great need to know. It must be a question with a yes/no answer, not something vague.. I can provide more details if you need.. just let me know.

posted August 21, 2010 10:46 PM         

Yes, ATM means at the moment.
I put that in there because I didn't feel your relationship was over, only stalled..at the moment.

Having married 'The Non Communicative' type, all I can tell you is that usually if a person is this way, well, that's the way they are, it isn't something that normally changes, you know what I mean?
Having said that, perhaps part of his non communicative issues do stem from your relationship with your Mom.
Maybe he is reserved towards you because he knows how close the two of you (you and mom) are, and he is reluctant to give in totally to the relationship right now out of his own fears of getting hurt.. maybe he worries she will come between you.

I am sure your therapist has told you that you don't need your parents permission for anything after a certain age, or even their approval for that matter. But, I do understand, oh boy do I ever.
I didn't introduce my husband and father for 5 years AFTER we married, because I knew if I did it before, my father would of had a pretty good chance of talking me out it.

Anyway, sometimes we just have to do what is best for us, and it sounds like you truly love him, so I believe if you follow your heart, you will be happy.
Not to say there won't be struggles along the way, that is just part of life, but.. if you don't follow your heart than you will always wonder what if, and that, I would think, would build to a resentment towards your family in the end.

I wish you all the best of luck.

I'll think on the horary question. I don't really know what to ask right now, everything in my life is one giant question mark, but if I think of something, I'll pop it on here.

posted August 31, 2010 10:59 AM         

The past 10 days have seen a flurry of activity in my relationships, and my head is still reeling. The same thought that you had expressed (i.e. that perhaps he is afraid to get too close of fear that he may get hurt by her disapproval of us and my reaction to it) came to me from another source as well, and the repeat made it seem like a terribly important message to me, so I talked to her. Though I didn't go into detail, I told her I have feelings for him and want to just pursue relationship with him right now. I also told her that her incessant calling is not healthy for us, and I think we could communicate better with fewer calls - like keep it to 1 a day - and less arguing over my choices. She acted offended for a few days, but I think she would rather have me in her life this way than give it up, even if it is hard for her to accept me driving my own life decisions - *gasp* what if i make a mistake and marry someone who she (society) doesn't (don't) see as an ideal match? Sorry, I'm rambling on again about this - can you tell how much it bothers me, lol?

I can totally sympathize with your decision to have waited to introduce your S.O. to your father.. sometimes their disapproval can be crippling, and that is what it did to me for years.

I saw him again last weekend, and it felt wonderful because we are growing closer, and I am working to bridge communication gaps with him.. sometimes it takes a woman's initiative to get the ball rolling, I guess. I told him about telling my parents and he was so relieved to hear that it won't interfere with our decision to be together. He has grown more loving and supportive even very recently in ways that are moving our relationship forward, and I hope that we continue toward where it may lead us, without giving in to outside influences.

I see your point - it may not be smooth sailing for life, but if I follow my heart, at least I will never have that regret..

Thank you again, Gypsee, and please do come back when you think of a question to ask.. I'll be glad to help with it anytime..