posted March 06, 2011 02:01 PM            

I'm kind of seeing a guy now. He already told me he doesn't see us getting serious and I told him I just take things as they go and can deal with a lot that way (he mentioned something about being honest so he wouldn't hurt anyone).

But that's not the problem: he reminds me of a guy I went out with years ago. God knows why because they are completely different at first sight. They do have the same sun, mercury and venus sign though. And then there's the man in the middle. The father of my child, whom has been told that our relationship was completely over, but still lives here because he thinks it'll be alright. Anyway... What is my question, really?

Nothing about my baby's father: he's definitely over and I really don't want to hear anyone else saying "c'mon, he's your baby's dad, give him a chance" - I simply don't love him and I refuse to live in a loveless relationship.

But, back to current events. I'm pretty confused about this whole situation now, the friends-with-benefits thing and the similarity to the ex who came before baby's daddy... I need some thought rectification, can anyone help me to get some of that clarity?

posted March 13, 2011 10:38 AM            

I'm completely separated from my baby's dad now, and in a turn of events I temporary moved in with my baby, with the current guy. Purely as friends though... Well, fwb more like. I don't think if anything happened between us to become more than that, it would last too long. I still have the feeling that my mind takes him as replacement for "the one that got away" and I'm afraid that I'll start treating him like I would that guy from years ago.

If anyone else still wants to give a reading, feel free because my mind isn't completely at peace yet. The situation with my baby's dad has thankfully straightened out. He finally accepted that we are over and (after a few days of raging) has been able to talk to me on a friendly basis.

posted March 18, 2011 05:14 AM            

I've no idea how to formulate it more specific, though. I really basically want to know what lesson I didn't learn with my ex (not my baby's father, but the man I was seeing before him) that I seem to have to learn again in this situation. Because at the moment I'm too confused to even make sense out of what happened with said ex.

I'm sorry if this is still too general, I really have absolutely no idea how else to formulate it

posted March 19, 2011 04:41 AM            

I still can't quite figure out what I needed to learn from the relationship before that one, apart from that age really doesn't matter (the age difference was a huge issue for me). All I know is that it took me years to get over that man and the fact that it seems to be repeating itself (including the age difference thing but this time from the guy's side, although I already told him I'd already learned the hard way that age really doesn't matter) tells me I've missed something last time over. Maybe something simple or perhaps something with a deeper philosophical meaning...

posted March 24, 2011 07:18 PM            

I just found out that escaping my ex was legally the wrong thing to do and if he's smart, it could result in me losing my son. I just can't win. I can't get him out of my apartment and I can't run off myself. I also can't live with him because first of all I'm terrified of what he's capable of, but it's the only legally right thing to do. I don't think this is fair treatment at all for someone who's been terrorised for years, manipulated, mentally abused and driven to a nervous breakdown at least 3 or 4 times since giving birth. Even now he finds a way to indirectly send me straight back to a nervous breakdown. You'd think the law is on my side but no, the first and only mistake I made was letting him move in officially.

I'm really just about ready to throw in the towel and hand my son to his family (not himself), I just can't handle any more of this.