posted November 15, 2011 01:53 PM            

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posted November 15, 2011 03:40 PM            

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posted November 15, 2011 07:45 PM            

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posted November 15, 2011 07:46 PM            

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posted November 15, 2011 07:47 PM            

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posted November 15, 2011 07:49 PM            

Do you feel that you are restless, deep inside? Do you feel like you get bored easily?

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posted November 15, 2011 07:50 PM            

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posted November 15, 2011 07:51 PM            

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posted November 15, 2011 08:27 PM            

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posted November 16, 2011 08:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by scorpiorising744:
Ami,

But I still don’t have very much social activity in my life. The strange thing is not once in all that time was I ever lonely.

Also, there was never a real reason for me to be so afraid of being around people. I was well liked and had very good friends. I was never picked on or made fun of. I just became overwhelmed by the thought of having to communicate.

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I hope you dont mind a beginner like me using your chart as guinea pig for learning.

With Mer conj Ven con asc and a loaded 1st house. I am not surprised you can charm, mysterious charm (scorpio & pluto all in one). Did any of your friends tell you that they couldnt understand you,were a bit scared of you, or intrigued by you? (sth like the thriller that scares them but they can't help being gripped by it?)

Yet, I am also not surprised you do not feel lonely. Out of the 4 quadrants of the chart, the 1st quadrant is the private self. With essentially all your personal planets in 1Q, my guess is you are a private person, thinking deep, but not really into sharing your thoughts. You would likely listen, observe and think and then keep everything to yourself. Right?

posted November 16, 2011 08:48 AM            

Usually SN represents where we came from, our strengths we were born with (or if you believe in karma and reincarnation, the skills you've acquired in your previous lives), and NN represents the direction we have to go, the skills we have to acquire in this lifetime.

So when your NN is in 1H, your SN is in 7H. So you are born with experience in partnership, reading other's needs, loving others, being a good team member/a follower but with that comes dependency, indecision (cos so used to consulting partner) and lack of self-love (all energy put into loving others).

Anorexia might be a form of lack of self-confidence and self-love.

Yet, I think with strong personal planets in this 1H to support your NN, you have the powerful energy to make changes, to acquire more self-confidence, to learn to love yourself and to leverage on your strength in understanding others and your charm to lead (at least in selected areas eventually, as you grow up/mature). This is your NN, your life goal that the stars are pointing you to.

Scorpio is a fixed power, so once you have made up your mind, I think you would have the tenacity to see it through.

posted November 16, 2011 08:49 AM            

Yes, people do find me intimidating. I never realized it myself, but my mom always said that people seemed to be cautious to approach me. She thinks I come across as ‘stuck up’ or disinterred, but this is not true at all! But, I find that once someone does approach me and begins communicating with me, I can never get them to stop!

posted November 16, 2011 09:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by scorpiorising744:

Saturn in the 4th- I did. My mother is aries with a Sagittarius moon. Throughout my childhood she overpowered me, emotionally. And through the years our relationship developed into something that was very one-sided; she confided in me about everything, and I listened. I was a mature child and I think she felt comfortable with me because I loved her and would never judge her but I was too young to handle all of the things she confided in me about. But this never bothered me because I felt special that she trusted me so much. I wanted to be there for her, her confidant. But now I realize it was overwhelming. Especially because I was never able to trust her. I tried, many times as a child to share with her my inner thoughts, asking her for guidance and acceptance, but she betrayed me each time, either by playing off what I said, or telling me it was wrong to think those things or want those things. She made me feel stupid and silly. And so I learned to keep myself to myself, if that makes sense. I hid myself from her. I’m still hiding myself from her. I only show her what I know she wants to see. This way she can’t hurt me. But I want her to listen to me, to hear me, to know me. So I think there is some resentment there, that she is enable of accepting me, the real me. This is why, I think, I lost control and developed anorexia. I was being restricted, emotionally, spiritually, and creatively, and I needed a way to take back the power.

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Of course there is no synastry charts for you and your mom here, but your Mars in Sag and her Moon in Sag are sign conjunct. Your Mars is in 1H, so maybe when you try to do 1H things to her (eg show your real self), it is hard on her emotions (Moon).

You said your mom's sun's in Aries, that's quincunx to most of your personal planets in Scorpio by sign. So you could be an enigma to her. Maybe it's not she doesnt want to understand you, she is just not on the same wavelength.

The losing control and developing anorexia...could it be the nodal thing I mentioned above? You care too much for her approval/love, that you start to lose yourself.

Maybe if you could start to accept she could not understand you the way you'd like her to because you two have those inborn differences, and you two are simply too different (like agree to disagree), then you would start to regain confidence to be yourself.

Remember a mother is older and has more years of life experience, but that does not make her more right than you or better than you. Of course, for many things there isn't even a right or wrong per se.

Some people are lucky to have their mothers as role models, but just as many others take very different paths than their mothers.

posted November 16, 2011 09:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by scorpiorising744:
Yes, people do find me intimidating. I never realized it myself, but my mom always said that people seemed to be cautious to approach me. She thinks I come across as ‘stuck up� or disinterred, but this is not true at all! But, I find that once someone does approach me and begins communicating with me, I can never get them to stop!

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1H Sun/Ven/mer person, hard not to be charismatic
And with that setiling your 3H Moon/uranus/Nep, your communication can probably touch them, shock them, inspire them.

I think as the planets are concentrated planets and few other aspects, even just by sign conjunct the effect could still be pronounced.

posted November 16, 2011 09:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by scorpiorising744:

I am very private and very secretive. I find a sort of power in keeping secrets. It gives me strength somehow to keep myself so tightly bound to myself. I am very much an observer I analyze and then reanalyze. But keep all of the little things I notice and learn about people to myself. I don’t want them to know I know them so well, because I’m afraid they won’t want to share themselves with me anymore. And I have a certain pride in keeping other peoples� secrets. Does that make sense?

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Quite what I would expect from a crowded scorpio 1H

Not just 1H, but 1Q person (cos besides 1H, you are 3H, both in 1Q), so yes, your natural personality is to be self-centered and private (2Q is for private, but concerns mainly for others, 3Q is observable by others for others, 4Q is observable by others for yourself)

Your NN is there, so there is really nothing wrong with it, as long as your self-centeredness does not harm others and you have a good heart. Have you noticed there are outrageously selfish people out there, but they can get away with it cos they are charismatic and they never do anything bad (eg. if it is win-win situation, why can I not be selfish)

I am just concerned if you keep too much for yourself, you will overload (like you said about listening to your mother's various issues). With your nice 3H stellium sextiling your 1H in earth, those 3H energy could be your earthing and release when everything gets to intense.

3H points to communication, short travel, siblings and neighbors. Maybe activities of those nature can help calm you? Moreover, they can be the cardinal power you need to drive your NN/self-expression.

posted November 16, 2011 09:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by scorpiorising744:

Thank you, truly. I am so afraid of never finding self-love, and in turn, becoming a victim of my own abuse. The comments you made about my north node have honestly inspired me. I do feel as though I am meant to be a positive influence on others. I’m actually pursuing a career in politics, (nothing upfront, a behind-the-scenes kinda thing, an analyst or something.) I want to be able to help people by giving them the opportunities to make changes.

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Make sense to me. You can analyze deeply and plan deep transformations (your 1H) and you can communicate them in a realistic, compassionate and compelling way (your 3H).

Sounds like you know yourself after all. You just need to show yourself more

posted November 16, 2011 10:39 AM            

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posted November 16, 2011 10:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Ok, I am gonna concentrate on a few of my girls, today, and GUY. I cannot forget him

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I miss you. Please dont forget me. I have some asteroids question on my natal that I would love your insight on