posted January 10, 2012 01:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
No I was asking about YOUR narcissus on YOUR ASC, not your father's chart.

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oopsy when i accidently said "he" i meant i lol what i wrote was about me

posted January 10, 2012 02:01 PM            

When your individuality is blocked, you will be depressed, by definition, I think, as you are no longer even there.

If you want to talk about anything you went through with depression, we can, here.

If Echo conjuncts your Sun, it will be stronger, even than what I have, which is conj the ASC.

Your Echo will be stronger than your Narcissus.

Why don't you put a chart up with your asteroids ?

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posted January 10, 2012 02:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Speaking of Echo and the article on Depression. I really think Echo will be a major factor FOR depression, as one lives someone else's life. I lived my mother's life, really, as far as I was programmed and did not dare to stray and then with time, could NOT stray because I was frozen.

When your individuality is blocked, you will be depressed, by definition, I think, as you are no longer even there.

If you want to talk about anything you went through with depression, we can, here.

If Echo conjuncts your Sun, it will be stronger, even than what I have, which is conj the ASC.

Your Echo will be stronger than your Narcissus.

Why don't you put a chart up with your asteroids ?

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il be glad but i have 2 questions first:

1.what asteroids do you want me to put in the chart?

posted January 10, 2012 02:05 PM            

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posted January 10, 2012 02:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Ok if something is a 2 degree conjunction with the ASC, it is not a 12th house planet or asteroid. Speaking of that, it reminded me of Retro. Do you have any asteroids or planets which are Retrograde. That is the little R next to them. This is kind of like 12th house, in that it makes them more inward looking and the person needs to develop a lot of depth, in the area of the planet. I like merc Retro which I have. I do not like Saturn Retro which I have. I may like Neptune Retro, not sure

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surprisingly the only asteroid i have in my chart that is retrograde is eros...

posted January 10, 2012 02:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:

When your individuality is blocked, you will be depressed, by definition, I think, as you are no longer even there.

If you want to talk about anything you went through with depression, we can, here.

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well... my depression started mostly after a transformation....in another person... my best and mostly only friend from childhood (a pisces sun) who was a quiet,nice,artistic and one of the most misunderstood people i ever met slowly turned into something i couldnt even recognize

he started hanging out with a lot of new people and was changed by them i think

he become and egoistic person... and rebellious.... treating everybody like crap but especially me... he started telling me how to behave and what to say that was exactly the way he was behaving and when i wouldnt do as he willed he would just bluntly start spilling out my secrets or calling out my weaknesses which i didnt want anyone to know

but i went through with it... i was stupid back then to stay and let him do what he wanted....but eventually i had enough and on one day i just told him straight in the face to get the hell from me and not to speak to me again

he was in total shock in that moment......
and i lost my closest and what i thought at the time to be my only friend

....and i was all alone....

after that my life entered into some routine that i just couldnt stand.... even though i hated him i felt lost and meaningless without him and every time i thought about it the depression got worse

eventually i started skipping school cause i just couldnt find the strength to deal with him sitting in the class with me or to deal with all the rumors he spread on me

eventually when i finished junior high i went to 2 months of summer vacation

and during that time i just decided to deal with my problems.... i reached deep into myself and after a few breakdown i came into acceptance

i decided i deserved better...that life could bring much more then he did...that i can be a person by myself.... after all those conclusions i decided to leave junior high behind me...disconnecting with all my friend and going as a new man to high school

now.... i have friends.... and confidance...and im happy to wake up every morning to see the people i care about and do the things i like to do and i always end a day by thinking on how could i make it better tommorow

posted January 10, 2012 02:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by doommlord:
surprisingly the only asteroid i have in my chart that is retrograde is eros...

also my eros has 0 deg orb trine with mars and 2 deg orb trine with pluto

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That is interesting. You will need to go inward with Eros and really make it your own, before you can go outward with it.

I would think that you are NOT frivilous with sexual things. I would think that a girl has to really mean something for you to be sexual with her.

Am I right?

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 10, 2012 02:57 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 10, 2012 03:00 PM            

That is interesting. You will need to go inward with Eros and really make it your own, before you can go outward with it.

I would think that you are NOT frivilous with sexual things. I would think that a girl has to really mean something for you to be sexual with her.

Am I right?

[/B][/QUOTE]

a girl will probably have no effect on me whatsoever XD

posted January 10, 2012 03:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I am so glad you told me your story Doomlord! I feel very honored that you trusted me. That brings up the asteroid Orchus, the asteroid of overcoming. Do you have it anyplace? I have it conjunct the Sun and I need it

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posted January 10, 2012 03:03 PM            

Narcissus CAN be a confident, bold and aggressive person, but in a strong sense of self way, a go getter. Can you relate?

Echo seems as if it makes one push one's self deep inside and one has to "suck up" to others for one's identity. That is Echo, to me. Can you relate?

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 10, 2012 03:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Doomlord
I do not think Narcissus is a "bad" asteroid. I think it can be good. I do think echo is a "bad" one. By bad, I mean difficult and a struggle.

Narcissus CAN be a confident, bold and aggressive person, but in a strong sense of self way, a go getter. Can you relate?

Echo seems as if it makes one push one's self deep inside and one has to "suck up" to others for one's identity. That is Echo, to me. Can you relate?

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well heres the problem.... i do try to please people very hard and might sometimes put a different personality then myself to keep things balanced

but on the other side.... most people who know me define me as a "human bulldozer" who doesent bend for everybody

its somewhat true.... i bend only to those i truly care about so they could feel happy becuse i feel happy too

posted January 11, 2012 07:07 AM            

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posted January 11, 2012 08:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Dear Doomlord
I would like to write an article and dedicate it to you. I was so touched that you got something from my article on depression. That inspired me to write a part 2. What is your name or a pen name you would like me to use?

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im honored you decided to dedicate this article to me

as a pen name you can use "rafael delora"

posted January 11, 2012 08:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by doommlord:
im honored you decided to dedicate this article to me

as a pen name you can use "rafael delora"

not much of a name but i like the sound of it :P

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I am on it, Rafael

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 11, 2012 10:24 AM            

Raphael expressed, to me, that my article on depression meant something to him. I was inspired to add to it with more recent understandings. Depression may be honed down to a squished self, hiding in the corner, afraid to say “Boo”. A person needs self expression to feel joy. A person needs self expression to touch other people. If one’s” fake” self touches other people, one may as well not bother, as one feels lonelier with people than alone.People are like dogs in that we need to pig pile on top of each other, just as dogs do, but we are afraid to show it. If your real self is squished down in a ball, you cannot touch another person. This is the “lonely in a crowd” feeling.

How does one get oneself from a squished in the corner situation to an authentic one? I think I have found some answers. One must have an Enlightened Witness kind of person. I wrote an article on the Enlightened Witness. I found one. She is a gift from God of enormous proportions. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude to God and to her, that it is hard for me to put it in to words, but I will try. Alice Miller put forth the concept of an Enlightened Witness. Miller said that you NEED someone to walk by your side and help to bear your sorrow, if you are to heal deep pain. If not, it is too scary. The Enlightened Witness must listen only:NEVER give advice. Right there, this is very rare, almost unheard of. People know all the “advice”, which is one platitude or another. Every hurting person has told himself all the platitudes a million times, to no avail. Do you think your one more platitude will make a difference? People give platitudes because they are out of touch with themselves. If I can offer one thing to people reading, it is to never give another platitude, again. Simply say, ” I can hear how you are hurting and I am by your side”

With your Enlightened Witness, you must bare your soul. You must say what is on your mind and in your heart. You must cry, as crying will empty out trauma. Talking will not. You can talk for a thousand years and never change. Talking comes from the left side of the brain. Trauma is stored in the right side. Your Enlightened Witness must allow you to talk, without interrupting, obviously. This is another rarity. A good listener is very rare. However, you must not feel rushed. You must feel the person cares. You must feel that you can take your time. You must feel that the person is wise, and the person must be wise. Most importantly, the person must be able to bear your trauma, with you, without having to make you shut up because she is uncomfortable. This is the case,often, when one goes to a person for help. The person cannot bear your pain, so they offer a platitude or something of that nature, in order to push you away.The Enlightened Witness must have healed much of her own pain or she will push you away, subconsciously, usually.

I am still working on it and it has typos, but I wanted to show you.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 11, 2012 10:44 AM            

i must say im very intrigued by this concep of "Enlightened Witness"

posted January 11, 2012 10:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by doommlord:
very interesting...

i must say im very intrigued by this concep of "Enlightened Witness"

if you met this type if person... can you tell some more about him/her?

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Of course, Darling, my pleasure.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 11, 2012 11:00 AM            

This article is dedicated to Gabby, my Enlightened Witness. Thank you, Gabby. What is an Enlightened Witness and why is it important? The term is taken from Alice Miller, one of the foremost authorities in child abuse. Alice has a wonderful website which you can visit. Alice has made ground breaking discoveries on what it takes to heal childhood abuse. Her information is unlike any other. She gave us the concept of an Enlightened Witness, although the practice is not new. Perhaps, the priest in the confessional was an Enlightened Witness. Perhaps, a beloved grandmother was an Enlightened Witness. Anyone can be an E.W. There is no special training. Special training may get in the way. There are certain basic criteria that must be met, though. These are crucial. Without these, the person is not an EW. The EW must be committed to listen, no matter how scary or gory it gets. They must be able to bear your story without trying to fix you by giving advice. This can be harder than you might think. People have painful lives. The natural inclination is to try to take away the pain. However, you are not helping the person.The person needs to feel his pain and release it. The EW needs to help the person bear it by being there,next to that person. The EW can encourage the person, but never try to give advice. The person with the pain KNOWS all the advice. We, all, do. Endeavor to be an EW for someone. Find someone who will be that for you. Study the concept and all of Alice Millers writings. She is a gift to humanity and to the abused chil

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posted January 11, 2012 11:07 AM            

This simple solution is more profound than you could ever know. The person does not have to have special training. It may be better if they don’t. Alice Miller calls it an “Enlightened Witness”. The person needs a few qualifications, though. They must listen without giving advice or judgement. They must not want to try to fix you OR take away your pain. They must have the strength to bear seeing you in pain without trying to fix it. It is very rare to find a person who can or will do this. If you do, you have found a very special treasure. The Enlightened Witness is one of the keys to healing emotional problems. Facing painful issues is too hard to do by oneself . We need the support of someone who will walk beside us, not try to take the pain away. A person cannot take it away. It has to be released. Crying is God’s Way to release pain. Current science supports this. However, you don”t really need the verification from current science. You know, in your own heart, the healing that comes from crying .

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 11, 2012 11:12 AM            

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posted January 11, 2012 11:14 AM            

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posted January 11, 2012 11:22 AM            

and probably some bigger problems also.... :P
but im optimistic and im sure il manage to deal with this aspects as hard as it is

moving on.....
i have 2 moon oppositions.... and what other people call a "hades moon" if you can elaborate on my moon aspects il be very glad