posted January 10, 2012 12:37 PM            

You know that the choice (of your heart) was already made. The question is just: are you couragous enough to accept it? And yes, courageous for the rollercoaster ride?
It will take courage, but on the other hand, being with someone you love, isn`t that a bit like lying?
Or am I too black and white now?

What kind of reading do you want from me?

posted January 10, 2012 12:51 PM            

We are sort of on the verge of breaking up anyway... me and Libra... But I do not want to hurt him.

And yes, I am scared sh!tless of hurting again... And wonder if it will work out this time.

posted January 10, 2012 06:51 PM            

Darling, I totally owe you one! I will read for you this evening.

posted January 11, 2012 06:46 AM            

I remember reading your post in Soul Unions - it said everything I felt at the time so I really am rooting for you!

For what it's worth I think that hurting someone in the short term (telling them the truth that it's over etc) is kinder than dragging something out long term when you don't love them. I think the Libra guy would appreciate your honesty as a kindness eventually even if it stings him now.

posted January 12, 2012 01:02 AM            

I have tried to read only your question; and ignore the posts afterward. I think you may recall, you and I have an unusually reflective situation. My relationship reached yet another 'final ending' this evening - and despite my best efforts, I am afraid I lack the objectivity to give you the reading you deserve.

I can tell you that I was unable to connect to your energy in a clairvoyant way, which is not unheard of; but rather became quite focused on your chosen handle 'Hera', wife of Zeus (aka Jupiter), ruler of Sagittarius. I reflected
On the mythology deeply (sometimes etymology is what strikes me when I read...); and felt your pain - seems your Sag has been quite the philanderer over the course of time and caused you to forget your own value and inner beauty/grace (as Zeus' philandering drove Hera to the heights of jealousy - not to say you've been vengeful)...

While shuffling, two cards fell right out face up - so despite my misgivings of my own ability, I went with it:

VI of Swords Reversed:
With him, you have and will continue to feel he is dominating your thoughts, actions, and course of life - even your unconscious state. He affects the inner child I you as well - and you have grown to rely on his validation in a way that in the end always causes you suffering and never gets you across those waters of emotion to the promise land of happiness (you cannot grow with him, because of this dynamic and so there is mutual resentment).

III of Swords Reversed:
This speaks to a dissipating heartache... The pain and suffering, the anguish you have and continue to feel for this man will diminish over time, as a reversal of this god-awful card always promises. At the sight of this card, I pulled one more to get at 'how'...

Knight of Pentacles:
This card sits just below and between the Vi and III of swords - and I take it to mean it is a solution within yourself as to how to adjust the previous dynamic between you. The Knight of Pentacles is about making
Wise choices, carefully selecting the seeds to sow, he remains stoic on his horse, overlooking his pasture - he isn't as other Knights charging outward with his energy. There is a stillness, a selective ness, and a faith in your own wisdom you must regain. Also, his horse is black, the color of endings and transformation - this is what carries him in stillness. It seems you and the Sag are dated to go at this again; and that this is an opportunity for you to regain trust in yourself, as well as a newfound sense of cautious optimism.

I sense there must be a lot of squares in your synastry and composite? Squares are difficult aspects - but they are amazing opportunities for growth and learning as well. Depending on how you shift your perspective of the chart, the square angle can begin to look an awful lot like a stair! That's what an astrology teacher taught me - and when I can, I try to use the energy of the planet/house/sign at the top of the angle to carry me (or another) up the stair.

Best to you dear Hera - my heart is with you more than you can imagine. Hopefully not too much to interfere with the clarity of this reading.

posted January 12, 2012 03:03 AM            

Thank you so much for the reading. It is very spot on. Your interpretation of all the cards you pulled is exactly on the spot with how I am feeling. I have been thinking a lot since yesterday and though I am very fond of him still, I cannot get back together with him under these circumstances. He claims he is trying to change his ways and become a better man for me (but by using this other girl in the process - how does that make him a better man is beyond my understanding). But... I don't know if it's all the drama and heartache he has put me through or that I finally did manage to get over him, unaware, but I don't have the intention of reconciling with him.
I am unhappy with the Libra, he is not the right man for me either... but I will not be weak and turn back to the Sag for a comfort I wouldn't receive anyway.
The heartache is indeed dissipating. It is unbelievable to me, I thought this meeting will turn me upside down, but instead I'm very rational and critically analyzing it with detachment (very unlike me when dealing with this man).
Oddly, we have a pretty good synastry and composite. I used to know it by heart, but has faded from my memory. I do recall though a square between his Mars and my Mercury and a square between his Pluto and my Asc/DC axis. There's also an opposition from his Pluto to my Mercury, but I think that's about all the bad aspects there are. If you add asteroids, the red flags appear - the classic abusive relationship aspect, his Nessus squaring my Dejanira.
But there were a lot of good aspects between us (an exact Sun-Moon conjunction for example), otherwise the attraction wouldn't have been so strong.

However, I guess time has come to acknowledge the fact that I should stop wasting good money after the bad. I was madly in love with him, a part of me will always love him in a way, but he isn't good for me. He knows this too, claims he wants to change and become the man I deserve, but ends up acting just like his old self. The girlfriend game he pulled is one example. Seriously, I am done with this silly childish games. I'm afraid his jealousy trick is going to blow in his face, because after all the other women, after the paternity tests on that baby that didn't even exist.... it doesn't move me much.

It is odd, I didn't expect to react like this, I'm pretty sure he didn't either. I was certain that if he'd return I'd be at his feet drooling... but nope. I'm standing tall and still like that Knight of Pentacles, unmoved by his immature games. It makes me sad in a way, because he meant a lot to me, but also sort of proud of myself for remaining true to myself and the principles I live by.

It is a shame in a way, I have never met someone like him and doubt I ever will and I do feel we could have had something special. But he made his bed last time and now he's making it with this other girl... and now he must sleep in it, without me.

posted January 12, 2012 06:02 AM            

Maybe that is why he came back; there had to be a meeting that opened up your eyes, or illuminated for you what you hadnīt been aware of.

I still find it sad that it did not work out. But you are right, you canīt indulge his silly games. It is detrimental to your emotional (and physical) health.

posted January 12, 2012 11:29 AM            

I'm bolstered to hear that despite your mourning, and despite all of your pain, you have found once more your self worth. Once we are aware of our value - and how it is we must be treated, we can begin teaching others the right way to treat us (whereas before we show them abuse in any manner is acceptable as that is what we do to ourselves).

If Libra isn't 'the one', that's probably just fine as long as you are clear with him you are in a place of self-healing and if he wants to be in your life - the role for him is as a companion and (maybe) lover. At least for me, having had a daughter and the relationship with her father not working - I'm less inclined to have every relationship follow the traditional model: first comes love, then comes marriage...you get the idea - no 'goal' in relationships. This is of course completely contradictory with the eternal hopeless romantic inside me.

Anyways, sorry to blather on - I just feel like kindred spirits. I'm very glad that you have found your confidence and stoicism from which to experience the Sag from.

posted January 13, 2012 01:49 PM            

jst wanted to say...yes , we r proud we can love our men unconditionally

and this is really wrong on their part to indulge in silly games...

i can relate to u.... the even worse part is , i hav my hubby on the other side .... there is no other girl though(Atleast i hope and pray ) , still , endless games wont stop ...like threatening me for cancellation of my visa, my license...divorcing me..and stuff !!

i must say , we really hate liars , still it is very very strange how we still end up falling more in lv with them...but true , though sm part of us keep lvng them in a way , like u said , its beyond doubt that time wouldnt heal us.... am so much better than the last month...atleast hav started eating smthing nd not starving myself to death anymore...

dnt worry darling... till the other peopel come to know about our worth , we neednt go back to them and stop ourself from finding sm1 either worthy or let them learn their lessons ..