posted March 19, 2012 08:35 PM            

I see the transits were for august last year...

What would you like to focus on?

you have just finished your saturn return and transiting saturn conj pluto http://www.khaldea.com/kldaephem/2000/mar2012gmt.shtml

T Saturn will go backwards over your Asc and pluto prob in next couple months.

have you researched your Jupiter singleton?

posted March 20, 2012 04:15 AM            

I went back to astro.com, and saw that I didn't adjust the transit date, so I've done that now.
I attempted to make the chart a bit bigger using an online resizer, but it never worked for some reason - I did manage to do this before, but can't for the life of me remember how I done it, so I just adjusted the contrast in picasa to make it a bit sharper.

I have done a little research on the Jupiter singleton from the links you provided in BA, but it's a very new concept to me, so more study is required.

I added in Lilth (1181), and noticed that she is transiting close to my own Lilith, but i'm not sure which direction the transits are going - I recall reading somewhere that they go clockwise, so perhaps she has just passed mine.

I was aware of my saturn return, but I never knew it was going to go back again - what should I look out for here?

As a focus, I think my main interest lies in the influence of Pluto - between the Asc, Mars, and Saturn conj and the Jupiter in Scorpio singleton in the 1st, it seems a prominent place to begin, do you think?

posted March 20, 2012 04:51 AM            

I really am a rookie, so I'm winging it here with attempting to interpret.

posted March 20, 2012 06:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Hey Saggi,

I went back to astro.com, and saw that I didn't adjust the transit date, so I've done that now.
I attempted to make the chart a bit bigger using an online resizer, but it never worked for some reason - I did manage to do this before, but can't for the life of me remember how I done it, so I just adjusted the contrast in picasa to make it a bit sharper.

I have done a little research on the Jupiter singleton from the links you provided in BA, but it's a very new concept to me, so more study is required.

I added in Lilth (1181), and noticed that she is transiting close to my own Lilith, but i'm not sure which direction the transits are going - I recall reading somewhere that they go clockwise, so perhaps she has just passed mine.

I was aware of my saturn return, but I never knew it was going to go back again - what should I look out for here?

As a focus, I think my main interest lies in the influence of Pluto - between the Asc, Mars, and Saturn conj and the Jupiter in Scorpio singleton in the 1st, it seems a prominent place to begin, do you think?

Thank you for helping me here, I look forward to your response.

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I wouldn't get confused as to which Lilith to use, it's IN the box under additional objects. It's not an asteriod. that's a different lilith hon.

to make the chart bigger once posted on the forum you can always press ctrl and + sign, so don't stress about it...

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this should keep you busy for a while

T Saturn first and second week April will be returning to it's natal position...

ok you wanted to start with Pluto conj Asc. Sand a member here has the same position.
here's his thread http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/212764.html

and of course there is a pluto thread in BF

mars conj saturn at 4' applying. I call this one, "doing ones duty in a cautious and constructive manner" is can suggest frustrations of action, stop/go situations.
http://www.skyscript.co.uk/marsaspects.html#macsa
Saturn conj Asc is a lack of confidence in early life
"Saturn’s" influence seems to be more obvious in the houses than in the signs can rule the life with an iron rod, although invisible, by undermining the sense of ¬self worth and making it difficult for the individual to permit any close emotional contacts.

Saturn's sign indicates what you find uncomfortable and must learn to manage.
Where and how you feel a lack of confidence -- the house position of Saturn defines where
you need to establish your skills, an issue you worry about and wish you could depend on !

Lovely anecdote about Saturn from member mahaira on astrologyweekly.com,

quote:

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There's an interesting thing I read somewhere, which I would never take as a rule as it oversimplifies matters - we can guess where someone's Saturn is placed, broadly speaking, by asking him/her "What do you want (or did want) but don't have?"

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Takes 28 years to go around zodiac. Stays in each sign of approx 2.1/2 yrs
Keywords: Saturn = Structure, duty, limitation, restriction.

Saturn in the 1st house
Gives the willpower to finish off jobs. You may take life and yourself seriously, but with dignity. Good sense of justice and will be able to lead others and make plans for them.
You will seldom speak or act without a definite purpose. You make a loyal friend. Always want value for money. Never get fat or drunk because of pride. Don't like throwing things away. May well be a horder. If Saturn is conjunct the Ascendant the birth could have been difficult one: the soul was reluctant to come in. This position gives early maturity: the person is born "old" and gets younger in attitude as he grows older.Shy and introverted. Makes an early start in life. Needs to cultivate self confidence and a sense of their own worth. Ability to work hard and through determination, persistence and self-control can achieve success in life. Early life was probably austere and disciplined and not apt to have a feeling of being loved in the early part of life. There can be great deal of selfishness and self-centredness if Saturn is afflicted. Instinctively conservative and sensitive to the restrictions of authority and their environment. Some meet failure at every turn, while others achieve success by sheer hard work and dedication. To succeed they need to develop a sense of inner authority and ¬self discipline.

mars conj pluto at 8' applying. This aspects needs to be doing something physical the riskier the better. Do you like sports, mountain climbing, bungjee jumping?

having 5 out of 10 in air makes you VERY mercurial, do you enjoy reading, researching things?

Mercury retro (I have this one to) I don't know about you but I was a quiet 'people watcher' and never felt that I was heard. I never got a straight answer to questions either? how did you do?

posted March 20, 2012 06:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
On further reading, I notice that my Jupiter in Scorpio makes very little aspects to other planets - a SQ to Mercury and MC, and an opposition to Chiron - could this cause a mind and career drawn to, but stressed by an interest in psychology, the hidden aspects of the self (1st house), and healing?
I could surmise that the OPP to Chiron could cause a going back and forth between psychology on self for personal wounds, and that of others' wounds? (whether or not this aspect indicates that, it has always been, and is a very central theme in my life - it is one or the other usually, their healing or mine - I've never (perhaps until now i my current relationship) been able to address both - yet, there is an undeniable relationship between my healing and that of others, in terms of what is learned through helping one, progresses the healing of the other, but usually in retrospect).

I really am a rookie, so I'm winging it here with attempting to interpret.

It does make other aspects that I don't hear discussed very often, like a Quintile to Venus and a Semisquare to Moon and Neptune - I know very little of these aspects though, but from what I gather they aren't usually considered as as important as the others. ....

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mercury retro,makes for a VERY analytical mind. It has to internalise things before it can express them. Your mercury will have gone direct. Mine was age 19.

jupiter square mercury tends to overtalk when it shold be quiet on occasions and not talk enough when it should be talking perhaps? I have the trine

Jupiter also has a minor aspect 'quintile' to venus. this can show hidden talent http://cafeastrology.com/natal/quintile_biquintile.html

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quote:

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Ruler of the Tenth House in the Fourth House

An authority figure or perhaps your father was your primary nurturing influence during your upbringing. Another possible scenario is that your father may live with you later in life. You may have a strong sense of responsibility towards your family, your mother in particular.
Your career can take place from your home. If you'd like to work from your own home, then this astrological influence supports that choice. http://www.skyviewzone.com/astrology/houserulerships.htm#hr10

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the orb from jupiter to chiron is wide 8' orb, I would discount this..

have you researched chiron in 7th?

Basic astrology forum, Chiron in signs & houses & aspects http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum12/private-jjLYZw161/HTML/000698.html

chiron here usually suggests that you could great relationship advices to others, but not solve your own probs..

posted March 20, 2012 07:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
On further-further reading, I see that jupiter in scorpio could relate to addictions, but also that whichever other planets it aspects could be blessed with a level of "grace", or "spirituality", I guess.

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Jupiter in first can sometimes suggest a weight problem. I wouldn't necessarily like it to addictions though. Are you saying you have some addictions hon??

Thing with scorpio it links to 8th house where it naturally rules. So all things hidden, scorpio cannot stand having anything kept from them. they make good researchers and dectectives....

posted March 21, 2012 04:14 AM            

good to hear from you.

That ephermis looks rather daunting - had a look at it through a link you posted before and thought "f**k that!" - but I am willing to apply myself now - promise (for as long as my astro energy bank holds out).

Yes, I think I replied to Sand's thread, I believe the nature of it was geared more towards finding out how pluto conj asc plays out, but see all this talk of "how does a planet/aspect FEEL to you?" - I'm just not getting it.
I FEEL billions of things from second to second, I am a feeler at my core, but I have no idea how to FEEL a planet ... it baffles me.
I feel people, houses, places, objects, and atmospheres, but I have no idea how to feel a planet's influence - the method appears to be learning what a planets or aspects is doing and then applying it to my self/life to see if I feel? It seems like qualitative research, except it's almost backwards - perhaps that;s the mercury in me.

As for Saturn, it's in the 12th, not the 1st, I believe.

I have read a lot on Pluto, and while yes, I am very cerebral (mercury/air), my emotional core seems bottomless, which has always baffled me too, perhaps this is where pluto comes in. I can swing from being completely detached to the point of clinical dissociation, to being so overwhelmed by feelings I am almost hospitalised (and have been once).

Yes, I love to research, but I hate (and suck at) the maths involved in writing up, so I would never become a researcher in any field that required me to statistically evaluate anything, well, not at this stage. By the end of my degree I may have cfhanged my mind and be more confortable with stats.

posted March 21, 2012 04:37 AM            

You mentioned my mother, I have always felt like my own mother, and that I took more care of her (through her projecting her various pathologies, moods and needs onto me in subversive ways). When my brother was born when I was 8, even that type of attention reduced, and my role became of protector for him against his father (my stepfather), inbetween trying not to resent him for taking the little (no matter how maladaptive) attention I got fromn my mother away from me.

To this day I still feel responsible for her, but she disowned me for the umpteenth time a week beforemy last birthday and I vowed it would be the last. she cannot face her failures as a mother, and I am not ready to forgive them. I have healng to do, and he unwillingness to even acknowledge my and her pain makes her an obstacle in my progress, so I have let her go. She has tried to wheedle back in, as she always does, but the door is firmly closed for now.

Leadership abilities ... I think I have them yes, I often end up leading when working in a group in an academic situation, but I actually hate working in groups, and I'm not comfortable being either a leader or a follower. I prefer to go it alone.

Highly-sexed - yup, probably hos I got away with so many relationship in discretions in my "youth" - 18-28 (I'm 30, and reformed

Jupiter in 1st - I have had disordered eating most of my life, but never a weight problem, it's always psychological, any weight problems that result from it are my occasionally being underweight. I reached the higher end of my BMI through antipsychotics a while ago, and through a spate of SSRI's in my early twenties, but I've never been overweight.

posted March 21, 2012 05:49 AM            

quote:

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Yes, I think I replied to Sand's thread, I believe the nature of it was geared more towards finding out how pluto conj asc plays out, but see all this talk of "how does a planet/aspect FEEL to you?" - I'm just not getting it.
I FEEL billions of things from second to second, I am a feeler at my core, but I have no idea how to FEEL a planet ... it baffles me.
I feel people, houses, places, objects, and atmospheres, but I have no idea how to feel a planet's influence - the method appears to be learning what a planets or aspects is doing and then applying it to my self/life to see if I feel? It seems like qualitative research, except it's almost backwards - perhaps that;s the mercury in me.

---

the thing with astrology is people skip too many lessons. Learning astrology is like a course on self therapy with you as case study. It's a journey hopefully you will enjoy the journey as it has no end. We are all learning throught out life anyway..

Basic astrology
Now basically your sun sign is your 'core beliefs, values, ego' and Asc is your physical body, mode of expression and mask and persona that we all wear and hide behind, but definitely not what's going on underneath. What's going on underneath is your Sun sign. Moon sign, house placements and aspects describe your emotional and intuitive responses, also describes your view of your mother, as saturn describes your father by sign and house position.

So, think of a glass milk bottle the bottle is your Asc and your sun the milk, but the milk still has to 'come out' through the glass neck of the milk bottle....

Now aspects within a natal chart represent 'facets' of our personality, because we are all multifaceted beings. What these do is 'break down and compartmentalise' these facets into smaller bite size chunks. This does take quite a lot of self analysis and objectivity to 'see yourself' and why you do certain things and behave in certain ways. Actually it can be quite good therapy...

Remember back to your school days and maths class, an opposition is 180', square 90', trine 120', and sextile 60' Now challenged aspects are conj (depending on the planets, cos some like each other and some really don't) squares and oppositions. Easy aspects are conj (if the planets get along) eg: Jupiter conj Moon, sextile and trine. Quincunx is inbetween (depending on the planets) causes health strains and unresolved or hard to balance planets/energies.

Can you recognise your Libra Ascendant and outward mode of expressions. Thing with your Asc is your saturn AND pluto conj Asc and will modify how your libra qualities express themselves.

The ephemeris is easy, the left hand side is the days of the month from 1-31, top are the 'glyphs' the shorthand for planets from sun through to pluto and grid shows wherre the planets are between 0-30' as there is only 30' in a sign and 30' in a house Equal house system..

can you see mercury in Red beneath it? it stations on 4th april and 5th it goes direct, and turns to black ink?

with pluto conj Asc, I have a friend whose son has this and he had to be 'resuscitated' at birth, which is a life and death matter.

Pluto here usually holds it's self aloof distant. Other people may comment that there seems to be more going on below the surface that is being shown. Perhaps you could solicit some opinions?

Tends to be a loner and hold innermost self aloof from those around. Penetrating gaze. Person power and will is indicated. Much more below the surface than is shown above. Very private person – holds secret
Tunnel vision when concentrating will always finish things.
Usually deep penetrating eyes. Intensity comes over even when being silent
A marvelous sense of purpose is generally present, and must be expressed and fulfilled otherwise an inner seething and sense of dissatisfaction may be the result
If Pluto is afflicted and could cause deep rooted psychological problems that can emerge as physical ailments.
The nearer Pluto lies to the Ascending degree, the stronger its influence will be. The planet's influence will darken the personality, adding an incisive and deep, emotionally intense quality.

quote:

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As for Saturn, it's in the 12th, not the 1st, I believe.

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quote:

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And yes, as a child I had no voice, except for singing - everyone wanted to hear me sing, but not speak. So I sang in secret, and never spoke until I was thriteen and when I did it turned my whole family upside down with the secrets that came out.

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posted March 21, 2012 06:06 AM            

quote:

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To this day I still feel responsible for her, but she disowned me for the umpteenth time a week beforemy last birthday and I vowed it would be the last. she cannot face her failures as a mother, and I am not ready to forgive them. I have healng to do, and he unwillingness to even acknowledge my and her pain makes her an obstacle in my progress, so I have let her go. She has tried to wheedle back in, as she always does, but the door is firmly closed for now.

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quote:

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In saying that though, you could say I am addicted to intensity - I need a high level of stimulation in life or I feel like I'm just waiting for death.

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Hello, scorpio/pluto talking here

your progressed sun is about 22' piscees, so in another 8years your prog sun will change to aries for it's next 30years stay. this will be an internal shift and change..

quote:

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Ruler of the Fourth House in the Twelfth House

There may have been unclear circumstances surrounding your mother or other close family members-perhaps mentally creating an idealized version of your childhood circumstances. You could be a very private person and you feel emotionally secure even when you are alone. This can also mean that you'll become more spiritually oriented during the second half of life, perhaps putting more emphasis on developing that side of yourself. http://www.skyviewzone.com/astrology/houserulerships.htm#hr4

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quote:

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Ruler of the Fourth House in the Second House

Real estate and property matters may enhance your income. Your mother or your upbringing in general influenced your value system. Your family may affect your money supply or you may find that money and possessions provide a kind of emotional security for you. http://www.skyviewzone.com/astrology/houserulerships.htm#hr4

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have you researched your mars in 12th and even saturn here?

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mars here is frustrated in taking actions in childhood, poss even bullied by those close.

quote:

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Mars

When Mars is in the 12th House the assertive and self-directing energy of the planet is turned inwards. A person with this placement frequently becomes a seeker of spiritual truth, working hard to transcend the limitations of the ego perspective. In his dealings with the world, however, he expe­riences considerable difficulty in acting in support of his own interests and is usually better equipped to work as one of a team rather than facing competative situations alone. Mars in H12 is not an uncommon placement for sportsmen who feel uncertain about the desirability of expressing assertiveness off the pitch or sports field.

People with Mars in H12 frequently have a parent who is either afraid of displays or wilfulness and anger or has a dominating will. Either way the child is discouraged from being assertive or self-directing. This place­ment is often found in charts with the Moon in Aries or 1st House, Leo or H5, indicating other lifetimes have given the soul experience of self-assertiveness and outer-directed behaviour. In the current lifetime a new approach is required. http://www.dkfoundation.co.uk/dkfoundation/BookKarmaHouse12.htm

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quote:

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Mars in the 12th House

Sample from the KidZone report: This child has Mars in the 12th House, which is not an easy placement for Mars. The energy can be stifled in this house. These children may often be afraid to assert themselves. They can feel defeated before they start, convinced that making any efforts to be seen, or heard, would be futile. The child could express this by being tired all the time. This attitude may have resulted from being with people who have not encouraged him or her very much. Somehow the self-confidence needs to be built and the courage instilled to disregard anyone that tries to inflict negativity.

These children tend to work in secret and to act behind people's backs. They should try to avoid this. Unfortunately, this child can possibly be blamed for things for which they are not responsible, so always check the facts. A total lack of self-confidence can make him/her so afraid of direct action that the natural course is to do everything indirectly. But deep down, this can be a very strong little person. He or she will just need to get over these hang-ups. Or the child will need to be fortunate enough that someone recognizes early to start building up that confidence. Many athletes and surgeons have this placement.

These children can work very well on their own, as they do not need supervision. They just do not need anyone to discourage them or to put them down. As they mature, these kids will come to believe in themselves naturally. The child with Mars in the twelfth House has a tendency to "think" about what they want to do, rather than just getting on and doing it. This can cause some frustration. These youngsters "know" but they are reluctant to push themselves, or their efforts, or their ideas. Again, this is a lack of confidence.
The sensitivities in this child can run deep through to the psychic nature of things. He/she is likely to have very vivid dreams. These youngsters will stand firm on principles, but may not openly express or explain where the ideas are coming from. He/she can find it easier to project an attitude or a mood to make a point rather than openly express the true feelings within. http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/plutoinhouses.html

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posted March 21, 2012 06:14 AM            

start here http://wilsontc.stormloader.com/#continue

Also in Equal house your moon would be 12th to and square to neptune. This suggests a kind of resenetment towards mother, anything from smother loved to emotionally neglected. I have the opposition and again if you just learn some keywords.

mother/moon
emotions, nurturing (sign and house and aspects) intuitions, instictive conditioning. rules first five years of life.

quote:

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Moon square Neptune
The square formed between the Moon and Neptune suggests you have difficulty separating fact and fiction. You may be artistic talent, but reality and imagination often blur. You try to adjust reality to fit your emotional view of the matter. When this is not possible there is usually an effort to escape or avoid confrontation. You feel that you are persecuted by your responsibilities at home or at work. You may try to escape or reject them. There is a need to examine situations intellectually instead of emotionally, and then to make fair and firm judgments. There is a naive charm to your character. Yet your impractical approach to problems can impede your progress until you get your feet more firmly planted on the ground http://www.skyscript.co.uk/moonaspects.html#mosne

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posted March 21, 2012 06:22 AM            

22nd april for few days T Jupiter will be conj chiron. So don't expect anything bad. i just thought for research make a note, see what happens....

when t jupiter gets to 23' and 26'degrees it will form an Earth Grand trine with moon and venus. as 23' is more 8th house matters, it could be you just splash out on something that gives your pleasure (venus) in cappi - has to be of practical long term use. With moon in virgo, should fulfill you emotionally, poss connected to friends, groups, hopes and wishes (11th house matters)

posted March 21, 2012 06:28 AM            

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saturn/pluto are square to Node The Lessons will be transformational (pluto) and hard work and tension (saturn) the square 90' causes tension, but also gives you energy and impetus to make changes. But at 30 you are a little young to be reaching/changing yet..

posted March 21, 2012 06:30 AM            

Pluto square MC for a long time I was not even 'aware' how this functioned or played out, until I was out with a friend, who ended up defending me from a verbal attack from a woman. It seems with pluto we/you give out scorpio/pluto vibes of authority, power and control and possibly on a subconscious level, *others* especially women pick up on this and feel it's 'fair game' to challenge and attack. It doesn't happen all the time, just occasionally. Plus mine is in 7th Angular/most visible and house of open enemies, which I really don't mind coming up in my face either...

posted March 22, 2012 06:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Hey Saggi,

I just want to thank you for your attentions to my chart.
I will be back to respond when I have more time.

---

learning astrology is like learning a strange language and cannot be done overnight, but enjoy the journey as it has no end....

Any questions don't hesitate, that's what I'm here for LOL

posted March 23, 2012 08:03 AM            

Regarding self-therapy, the thing that repeatedly draws me to astrology, is the fact that it is so similar to psychology, in what it is trying to achieve.

Thank you for the very succinct explanation of Saturn in the 1st, I hear this can be problematic, so I will study this more.

I agree with you on the healing power of forgiveness. My partner has just recently forgiven his mother for her early death due to alcoholism, I have found this very inspiring, but I have to be honest about where I am with regards to my own mother (and my grandmother - that's another story) and the truth of the matter is, I am not ready yet, I don't feel strong enough yet., I have not fully investigated all the emotions related to our relationships.
When my next bout of therapy begins, this is what I shall be addressing, with forgiveness as my aim.

RE the ruler of aquarius, I have always related more to (and played out in my life) Uranus' nature than Saturn's, although I have read that January aquarius suns are more saturn-like, and february aquarians more uranus-like.

I have more reading to do on Mars in the 12th, but I have a feeling it relates to my maladaptiove sexuality in childhood. Weirdly, my adult sexuality, as of my late twenties has been relatively healthy. Up to that point I would say I used my sexuality to manipulate, (protective mechanism I learned in childhood due to an inappropriate sexual relationship with my stepfather - Saturn?), this could also be Pluto's influence on the Mars, perhaps.
But I know Mars is not just about sexuality, so I have further study to do on that.

From your Mars interps - yes, I definitely had to internalise and repress a lot of my expression and emotions, and I was certainly very controlled by authority figures - mother, grandmother, stepfather. The section on lack of encouragement and active suppression is also true. My mother attempted to supress my musical development by denying me lessons (from her - she is a musician), and my stepfather would ban me from the piano if I did not comply with his sexual advances. But music has been such a powerful force in me that it came roaring back in my late twenties, and transformed my life.

Moon SQ Neptune - yep, I never really know if I am dreaming or awake, and my dreams affect me just as deeply as my conscious life, sometimes more.

Hmm T Venus conj Chiron in the 7th - my partner will be meeting my eldest son for the first time tonight. I do have somewhat of a wounded relationship with my eldest, he has been under his father's care predominantly since he was around 2 years old (he is 13 now), due to my having a breakdown.
This is the first partner of mine he has met since he was 1 year old 0 I have always kept my personal relationships separate from my children, as they have never felt stable, and I did not want them to attach to anyone who may not be around for long - even though they have always had great relationshps with their fathers - so no absence of male figures - I just wasn't willing to take the risk of them being upset) so I guess this integration into my personal life, could be a healing modality for our relationship.

I'll make a note ihn my calendar for T Jupiter conj Chiron, and report what happens, if anything.

posted March 23, 2012 08:17 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SaggiMC:
North Node in cancer in 9th house conj 10th house cusp (not MC though) in Equal house. so this is learn about cancerian family matters. Cancer and cappi are both shrewd in business and good with money and hanging onto it longer and harder than the rest of us. so this cancer is developing cancer triats, building your own family that has similar philosophical and religious beliefs (9th house). cappi south node suggests your comfort zone is good administration abilities, leadership, ambitions, hard work, duty responsibilities etc. But cancer wants you to be for sensitive, emotional, considerate concerning family matters.

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saturn/pluto are square to Node The Lessons will be transformational (pluto) and hard work and tension (saturn) the square 90' causes tension, but also gives you energy and impetus to make changes. But at 30 you are a little young to be reaching/changing yet..

but interesting nonetheless, don't you think?

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30 may seem a little young to be transforming/changing, but I can assure you it has been the over-riding theme of my entire life.
I find myself constantly waiting for the next wicker-me , and she always comes.

I can get tiring, yes, and I have often "went under", I have given up and attempted to leave this life 3 times so far, but something will not allow it.
My last attempt, at age 24, was an overdose of various pills. I had been stockpiling psych medications for months, ansd obtained a medical dictionary from the library which handily outlined exactly how much of any pill could lead to fatal overdose - I researched well.
As I was losing consciousness on my livingroom floor at 3am, my phone rang, it was my mother, she had had a nightmare about me and felt compelled to call me, she knew as soon as she heard my attempts to speak, what I had done and came round and took me to A&E. They were going to pump my stomach when I spontaneously began vomiting for hours. They put me on a drip and checked my bloods and I was go to go the next day, with no physical damage.