posted March 20, 2012 01:47 AM            

But in general. I dont see it. He is too stubborn in his flighty ways and need of a generous amount of personal space/freedom.

You need passion and structure/dedication/stability... In other words in time you would grow frustrated with his "childish" ways and e would bevome frustrated with your "fixated" views.

In the short term you find each other interesting... Kinda fun in an odd way... Almost amusing. But in the long run ypu get under each others skin and when one of you runs hot the other runs cold.

Gemini is very elusive and requires constant attention/stimulation for your deep waters.

posted March 20, 2012 02:14 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Junethird:
[B

You need passion and structure/dedication/stability....[/B]

---

Thanks for your assessment, you hit the nail on the head here about me! Couldn't have said that better myself about what I want.

posted March 21, 2012 01:15 AM            

Next time I need to read the charts & get advice BEFORE getting too caught up in the chemistry, but, it WAS like water being given to a person who didn't know she was dehydrated...

posted March 21, 2012 10:13 AM            

You didnt pose a challenge for him. Nothing to chase, think about or desire.

All men are horny lol. He is a single man, working a stressful job.... He needs to de-stress and what better way to than thru a passionate fling? You kow get out of his system.

I dont think astrology would have helped you before.... You would have jumped on your carnal desires eitherway. Lust is very powerful.

I think he is gone from you. No turning back now. Leave him alone. When he finds himself bored and alone... He might drop you a line. And the whole charade will start again.

You have to be stronger and let men that desire you chase you. The more he has emotionally invested in you.... The more he has opened up to you and shared his pasts pains, insecurities the more likely you will create a strong bond with him.

Dont be afraid to ask deep questions. You can totally go about it without making it sound like an interview... And the best way to broach sensitive topics is when you are having fun... When you are quietly enjoying each others time.

If you dont ask about his past and pay attention you will never know where he is at emotionally and most importanly what your chances are.

I dont know if he is grieving for his marriage. But running as far away as possible is true gemini. Passionate sex is taurus.

The key to him is his moon and rising. We dont know rising but moonis in gemini.... He wants and needs a challenge to hook line and sinker. That my dear is not you.

posted March 21, 2012 10:13 AM            

You didnt pose a challenge for him. Nothing to chase, think about or desire.

All men are horny lol. He is a single man, working a stressful job.... He needs to de-stress and what better way to than thru a passionate fling? You kow get out of his system.

I dont think astrology would have helped you before.... You would have jumped on your carnal desires eitherway. Lust is very powerful.

I think he is gone from you. No turning back now. Leave him alone. When he finds himself bored and alone... He might drop you a line. And the whole charade will start again.

You have to be stronger and let men that desire you chase you. The more he has emotionally invested in you.... The more he has opened up to you and shared his pasts pains, insecurities the more likely you will create a strong bond with him.

Dont be afraid to ask deep questions. You can totally go about it without making it sound like an interview... And the best way to broach sensitive topics is when you are having fun... When you are quietly enjoying each others time.

If you dont ask about his past and pay attention you will never know where he is at emotionally and most importanly what your chances are.

I dont know if he is grieving for his marriage. But running as far away as possible is true gemini. Passionate sex is taurus.

The key to him is his moon and rising. We dont know rising but moonis in gemini.... He wants and needs a challenge to hook line and sinker. That my dear is not you.

posted March 21, 2012 10:27 AM            

Earth signs are very slow moving/slow to comfirm a descision.

Air signs are impatient. They want it now. Ooooh shiny new toy and two weeks later its a dull toy.

Water signs are emotional. They need to feeel you/situation.

Fire signs are ardent . They burn passion but burn out just as quickly if you dont know how to fan fire.

But then again men are "hunters" and women "want to nest"

posted March 21, 2012 03:45 PM            

Never would have considered a Cancer, I feel like avoiding water signs... my ex-husband of 10 years is a diagnosed narcissist & a Pisces, I spent much of our marriage being the emotional stability for him and our children and he did me a favor when he left.

I need classes on dating, waiting, etc... I never learned those skills. I am often a stronger personality and stronger fearless character than any men I meet, I feel like I always scare them away, like they think I don't have vulnerabilities that need the right man, but they're there, just hard to get to under strength & smarts & forwardness. Gads. I could be single forever.

posted March 21, 2012 07:32 PM            

Basic astrology forum, How to approach Synastry http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum12/private-jjLYZw161/HTML/000667.html
To enter this forum you need an extra password – (astrology)

Please remember to reduce the orb ratio down to 40% (ONLY for synastry bi wheel) as the max orb between planets is 3'. Composite should be 85% orbs. Please also include, vertex, juno and POF (part of fortune).

when you get this SYNASTRY chart, please also post the *pdf file*, above left of chart look for *view additional tables (PDF)* This will bring up 2pages. Scroll down to last page for the *ASPECT GRID* THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AS IT SEEMS TO SHOW MORE ASPECTS THAN IS VISIBLE ON THE BI WHEEL…

problem is uploading to photobucket (or imageshack) you have to change this from Abode format into a picture/jpeg format. This is done by getting the relevant page/grid in front of you on screen then, the press ‘prtsc sysrq’ - top row inbetween pause break and F12. This has been copied to clipboard.

Paste into Paint or some other photo software. Crop the picture and save to hard drive, then upload to photobucket, select chart, press IMG and past link into thread.... all done

doesn't matter if you don't know his TOB just use 12noon.

------------------
In Astrology 2.0 forum, beginners learning astrology
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/212463.html

in Astrology 2.0 forum, What’s next for learning (intermediate)
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/212464.html

In Astrology 2.0 what’s next for learning (advanced)
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/212465.html

posted March 21, 2012 10:09 PM            

Sex never really ruins anything, its your expectations. You told him what you wanted and he didnt comfirm or deny anything. He never said what he wanted, let alone reassured you. All he said he would go at your speed. So it was a toss up for him... A gamble calling your bluff per se.... Even tho you voiced your desires/expectations you still choose to sleep with him... Without getting anything, and by anything i mean "emotionally" from him.

You are strong because you had to for your boys and autism. I applude you. Bravo mama. Your boys are better off by having a strong willed independant mama but, and its a big one.... Now that you are divorced its time to do some serious soul searching.

Pisces men are not bad... But in your case, you felt extra drained bcuz you didnt love him

Dont beat yourself up too much. Youve been out of the dating scene awhile... Its ok to stumble. Just learn and move on. If you want a hot fling than have it. Buy the condoms and Leave the expectations at home. If you want a boyfriend. Take it easy and let him chase you. If he doesnt and walks... You have saved yourself some heartache. If he calls again and wants to chill then you know he is atleast imterested in maybe something more at that moment.

Time is the secret

Check this out! I read this blog to help keep me on track.
http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/

posted March 21, 2012 10:29 PM            

Cancer different than pisces.
http://www.thecancerman.net/

posted March 24, 2012 01:38 AM            

That Evan Marc Katz website was great, thanks for turning me on to that. I got his ebook 'Why He Disappeared' (have you done that?), it was inexpensive & the most sensible dating advice I've read so far. He says that all a woman has to do if she's interested is stand back, not be proactive in the courting stage, and say & show 'Yes' to encourage and show appreciation for a man that you want to see more of. Great advice. That's the area I can do better in for sure.

Otherwise, it was tough to read it also & find that I did so many things right with the Taurus Man & he still disappeared. I never did any of the many top 5 mistakes so many women make, I gave him plenty of space, I let him contact me and take action. And I agree w/Evan that there's no set time that a woman should wait to sleep with a man other than meeting the other aspects first---if you're interested in him let him demonstrate WHAT his interest in you is first through not being proactive. His other best advice was that it's not what happens DURING a date, what matters is how he acts & what he does AFTER the date/sex, etc. That's how you know how fast you want to proceed to the sex depending on what you want.

In this case, that was also frustrating to hear as he demonstrated all the good things after each date until the date where there was sex. So, part of the conclusion is that if I had waited even longer, it would probably just have been that much longer till he still disappeared anyway, and I would have been even more attached to him then.

There are still things I could have done differently, and the facts surrounding him personally are also a factor, but ultimately, Evan's best advice at the end mirrors a favorite quote of mine that Marilyn Monroe made:

'Your destiny is never tied to someone who leaves you."

posted March 24, 2012 10:08 AM            

In my experiences, i have learned that the quicker things progress from coffee to kiss to making out to fondling to sex lol its going to burn out quickly.

The shortest i have waited to kiss is 4 days, and the longest is 2 weeks lol i dunno i like the anticipation... I enjoy watching them squirm, feeds my little ego "insert evil laugh"

If you are only meeting at nights, i understand work schedules lol, but never interact with "friends" his or yours... It kinda stays there. Six weeks is a long time not to have met any of his friends, not all, but atleast one or two or maybe going out to a group dinner, drinks, bbq. I dunno my opinion. I get that he just moved, but in general.

I have no problem asking and probing deep questions on the first few dates... But i fly from topic to topic.... So i know early on if he cant keep up with all the variety of subjects, gets confused or not have interesting wit, then i will be bored and know that long term this person is not going to be able to handle my constant chit chat and probing for new info lol

Also, i keep going back to clarify or comfirm things that i am still stuck on. Most people would say its a no-no to ask about past relationships or ex's right away, but i am curious as to how he explains his past failures and his ex's if he insults her or degrades her.... It not a good thing. Means he was hurt, still has issues, and clearly he could be talking about you that way one day. But if he can keep composed and be honest and open then ok... Its easier to talk open up to a stranger.

Maybe its the gemini in me, but i always, its more like a test i guess... But i lay out my expectations. " i want to be closer to you, i think sex is great, love it but i only enjoy it with a serious person. I am serious about looking for a real connection. I want to get attached and feel good when i am with someone i connect with. Iam not looking for a fling. I dont do flings. Sex for me is an expectation that we are moving to the next level. If you are not ready, that ok baby. We had a nice time and you may not be the one then. What are you looking for? What are your expectations? " ask him hefore you have sex. Clear it out of the way and then dont bring it up again.

Then Give him his space but pay attention to his actions. Dont give too much too quick or start acting the gf role or Wife Role. Do small,things and watch how he reacts and what he does. If he pulls away u pull away too, give him some elbow room to think things thru if he comes closer then u get closer to him, but dont loose your head.

Men are not mind readers, when you let your expectations Be known, you have your answer before your heart gets broken, by how he reacts/actions afterwards.

You should alSo remind yourself that this man had the balls to sa to your face that he wanted to see where his relationship was going first, but if it flopped he would call you.

Are you not seeing it... He told you what he wanted, his expectations and his action followed by him not contacting you/ delaying contact... it was you who was chasing him.

You can do the same. Be a challenge.

I dont believe in fast hard rules, but i do believe in being clear and setting up boundaries. Teaching people how they should treat you. If once you do that and he walks, he walks... Better he walks away before you sleep with him than after.

Its hard. Ive had my flings. I didnt expect anything and enjoyed the time... It still hurt my feelings but It was fun while they lasted lol and ive had my longterm relationships... 3 icluding mr.scorpio. When i layed out my expectations, i was for the most part assured that he wasnt going anywhere he wanted to see where things were going aswell.

posted March 24, 2012 10:29 AM            

Once you are in a relationship or have expressed your desire to be in one with your guy....

Link 1
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C06E5D7133EF93BA35754C0A9619C8B63&sec=&spon=&scp=1&sq=sari%20therapist%20swashbuckler&st=cse&pagewanted=2

Link 2
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_Withdrawal_Syndrome_Why_Your_Man_Pulls_Away.html

Link 3
http://advice.eharmony.com/relationships/relationship-problems/3-steps-stop-man-withdrawing