Posts: 2153
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 16, 2005 02:46 PM            

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Welcome Ben,

This is your thread, we'll be working from here.

You have a 24 degree Capricorn ascendant, right now transitting Saturn is sitting on your descendant. This is a pretty intense period for you. You have a lot on your plate, some you will resist (as creatures of habit we don't like change) but its necessary, so that you can grow and evolve.

Your Ruler Saturn sits at the top of your chart in the 10th house where it is home. This is a powerful position and shows that you will rise in life but if you're anything but honest you will fall. Many famous people have this Saturn position including

Adolf Hitler
JFK
Bill Clinton
Francois Mitterand
Lucky Luciano
Al Capone

See what I mean?
For right now lets start with your Capricorn Ascendant

(Jeanne Avery)

The personality of someone with this rising sign can be the most intriguing of all personalities described by the signs of the zodiac because of its very depth and complexity. This individual may appear to be aloof, cool, or remote, yet an elegant quality may conceal an inherent shyness. He is the most responsible of all the rising signs. The ruler of Capricorn is Saturn, the planet that indicates solidarity, security, caution, and reliability. Capricorn is an Earth sign, and is one of the cardinal signs, representing sensitivity. The symbol of Capricorn is the mountain goat, who takes one step at a time, finding sure footing on the steep slopes of his habitat. The Capricorn personality follows this cautious route, setting long-range goals, but reaching the top of the heap in his own sweet time. He must be on sure ground before he can progress.

Traditional astrology pictured Saturn as the planet to fear, teaching that Saturn brought nothing but hardship, burden, and drudgery. It was called the taskmaster. But Saturn has also been named the great teacher. It is true that it seems easier to learn from difficulties than from ease and pleasure. Modern psychology has brought new understanding to the meaning of this planet. Examining Saturn from all directions proves that Saturn is much more than an energy to be wary of. It indicates areas of stability, determination, and practicality. It is the planet of 'gravity' that manifests spiritual qualities on the earth plane. If Saturn were not in the chart of an individual, he wouldn't be on earth, for Saturn indicates the karmic task he comes back to solve and dispense with.

A person with Capricorn on the ascendant can be quite serious and old before his time, for he is not able to take matters lightly. He may even have graying hair early in his life. As a child he appears must self-sufficient and mature, yet there is a lack of security inherent in the personality. He will carefully conceal any pain he feels so no-one would know he is needy in any way. His proper behavior is a façade that protect him. He has somehow steeled himself against the world with a stoic attitude. He secretly wishes he could let down his walls, but he simply doesn't know how. He may be dying for someone to look past the barriers he erects and show the warmth and reassurance he so badly needs. He may be judgemental, cool, and aloof just at the very time he craves affection most. His defensiveness protects him in a strange way. He can seem chilly when he is anything but that.

This ascendant describes someone who has assumed the burdens of all those around him early in life. It may be entirely subconscious, yet he has what is called an 'Atlas complex'. He desperately needs to be needed. Therefore it is better to be needed by someone than by no-one at all. He can overload himself to the point where he is under tremendous pressure, yet he is motivated by assuming responsibility, perhaps to the breaking point. He tends to wear the 'hair shirt' and is masochistic to some degree. The more he beats himself up, the more he can justify his existence. Deep insecurities stem from early childhood; he feels rejection on a very basic level. It is more than likely that this rejection comes from before his birth, when he felt unwanted by one or both parents.

The interesting complexity of one with this ascendant comes with his decisions about survival. Since the ascendant describes the conditions of birth - the initiation into the earth plane - as well as the conclusions derived due to these circumstances, habits formed at the very first moment can precondition life behavior. Unfortunately, patterns are established before accurate analysis of a situation is possible. These patterns and decisions may be re-examined later on, but until that time, the photographs made early in life set the stage. The birth decisions are especially strong for one with Capricorn rising. The feeling of rejection can seriously inhibit him throughout his life. The birth process itself, for one with this ascendant, is particularly long and drawn out. It appears that one with Capricorn rising is reluctant to come into the world at all.

During regression sessions, the standard memory for one with Capricorn on the rise, or with Saturn in the first house, is that of dreading entry into the world. It is as if he sees the conditions that await him and decides to put off confronting them as long as possible. The resistance to birth is so strong that many individuals with this ascendant recall a feeling of digging in the heels until fatigue set in. The reality of having no way out and no choice in the matter forced him to give in and be born. This extreme dread of life seems primarily concerned with the feeling of not being wanted. Rejection spells lack of safety, with no-one to depend on but oneself.

One of the earliest decisions about survival for one with this Saturnish color to the personality is hat he is only safe when he is in control. He doesn't trust anyone but himself, and feels he is all alone in the world. He starts out contolling his own birth as long as he can. In effect, he says, 'Just a minute, I'm not ready... please don't make me do it... I may not be ready for this ordeal for a few thousand more centuries'. To resist birth, he tenses his muscles, grips inwardly as hard as he can, and generally armors himself against the onslaught of life. Later on, he has muscles that go into spasm, and sleeps with tight jaws and teeth grinding. He feels tensions across the shoulders in particular, as that is where the Atlas complex bears down hardest. He can become tired quite easily, as he tends to constrict the breathing mechanism from habit. The general tension of his body wears him out. He may not realize that he is tight in attitude as well.

The Capricorn personality is born with a sense that he is destined for something important. He wants his life to count for something, yet he goes about delaying his 'destiny' as long as possible. He procrastinates constantly, as he has a storng perfectionist quality. Perhaps if he is perfect in all ways, he will be loved and appreciated. His fear of failure is extremely strong. He sets up conditions around him that may border on hardship in order to build character, or so that he won't muck up his opportunity to do what he came into this life to do. He seems to give himself not quite enough elbow room for fear of straying from the straight and narrow.

Childhood is never easy for one with this rising sign. Luxury and ease of living don't seem to be on the cards for him early in his life. He seems to choose to pay back any karmic debt as soon as possible in order to get the worst over with early on. The burden he carries deep within his subconscious can make him sad and lonely, unhappy about his lot in life. He has deep guilts, whether from memories of a past life or from the situation he sees around him. Somehow he feels responsible for any difficulties in the lives of his parents or those around him. If he hadn't been born, all would be roses. Since he sses himself as the straw that broke the camel's back, he decides to be particularly good and perfect. if he is able to accomplish that, perhaps he will survive the worst. He shouts, 'I won't take up much space, I won't eat very much, and I'll be so quiet and good that you'll hardly notice that I'm here'. The shout is heard by nobody.

Capricorn ascendant comes into life feeling as though he is the parent. He feels he has to take care of his own parents, as he is the strong one, reliable, responsible, and stoic. He is able to bear burdens no-one else is capable of handling. He may have a karmic relationship with his parents, feeling that he is responsible for them somehow or other; that their lives would have been easier without him. His insecurities come from an awareness that he is too little to properly deal with the total responsibility he feels he must undertake. His fear of letting someone down is connected to survival itself. He is handicapped right from the start with a sense of defeat. He cannot solve problems for everyone until he is grown. He worries that it may be too late then. He puts himself under such pressure to perform that his performance is hampered by his own concern. He will tkae whatever anyone dumps on him, as he feels it is his obligation. He will take it and take it, long after it is necesssary. When he has finally finished being the doormat in a particular situation, with a particular person, his walls go up so solidly that he is reaching his breaking point. Only he forsees the end in sight, and he cannot give any clues that it is coming.

The Kabbalists say that Saturn is the 'playpen' that Mother Earth put her children in. A playpen is designed primarily to keep a baby safe from harm. It is a restriction, yet a safety. A baby graduates from his playpen when he learns to take responsibility for his actions. He is allowed more freedom if he learns not to 'play in traffic' or get into situations that will harm him. Life seems to provide a 'playpen' for one with this ascendant through restrictive situations early in life. He may have very strict parents who curtail his activities; or he may have losses early in life that put a natural damper on his personality and opportunities. He may have to assume special burdens in the family very early on, making him old before his time. Some sadness can be due to an actual loss of a parent in his childhood. Whatever the actual source of heaviness of heart appears to be, the inner feeling of loneliness, sadness, and rejection causes him to assume responsibility all his life. He will never get away from his need to be needed and relied on. He simply learns how to upgrade the level of responsibility and pressure he takes on. He learns how to be in control without being controlling.

Eventually, the Capricorn ascendant is able to be somewhat objective about his childhood. He can then re-evaluate some of those decisions he made, perhaps without even knowing he made them. His willingness to probe through painful memories lifts great burdens from his shoulders, as he can clearly see that his early decisions are no longer viable. Since his survival depends on his trusting no-one but himself, however, he cannot easily give over the control to someone else. He finds it hard to consult another person in order to gain the objectivity he needs. If he continues to hide behind his fears, guilts, and insecurities, he may be avoiding his ultimate responsibility and destiny. A refusal to examine early issues may be his way of staying safely in his playpen. Finally, if he becomes tired enough of attracting or feeling continued rejection, loss, and hardship, his weariness enables him to give in to what he came into life to do. He begins to take better care of himself.

Transactional Analysis proposes the theory that we have three ego states that are all equally important to express. The use of one ego state to the exclusion of others results in blocked energy. Saturn is the planet associated with the parent ego state. We develop that ego state early in life by listening to our parents' messages or injunctions. The directives necessary for a two-year-old's safety can be very inappropriate later in life, yet we record those messages in our subconscious and act on them long after they are valid. A two-year-old is told such things as 'You're too little, you can't, don't embarrass me, be perfect'. In some cases, these messages become even more stringent and poisonous. If we continue telling ourselves the same things long after those directives are useful, we may be saying, 'I can't, I'm too little, I'm not good enough' when we're old and gray. Parent messages can reinforce insecurities or contribute to their development in the first place. The aspects to Saturn in the natal chart indicate the severity of these early injunctions.

One with Capricorn rising was born expressing the parent ego state. It is the easiest ego state for this individual to deal with because it is developed in him extremely early in life. He seems to set up situations and conditions of life that reinforce a need to take charge, be in control. Past life memory may subconsciously bring in an especially strong sense of duty. He seems to choose to be born to the very parent or parents that will reinforce his feelings, memories. One young lady, during a regression session, experienced a prenatal feeling of not being wanted. Circumstances were not ideal for another baby in the family, and the father was definitely upset over the situation. She remembered her defensive attitude and was aware that she rejected the father before he could further reject her. She assumed a strong parental role very early in her life, deciding that she could do a better job than her father. Later on, she was motivated by a responsibility she felt for her family and for almost everyone around her. Tremendous guilt set in if she felt she wasn't doing everything for everyone and satisfying the expectations of all those around her.

Another lady with Capricorn rising sensed a mission and important destiny before she was born. She knew she had to come to the earth plane to play a decisive role in helping people. She had a very strong sensation that she literally 'used' her mother to get to the earth. It seemed to explain many things in her childhood. She had no real connection with her mother during her growing years, yet often felt guilty for being unresponsive, without knowing why or being able to change. Many times, one with this ascendant feels as though he simply doesn't belong to the family he was born to. He feels he is the outsider and somehow different from other family members. His sense of aloneness and isolation begins very early on.

The person with this Saturnish cast to the personality berates and bombards himself continuously with negative, overly judgemental injunctions. He may or may not be aware of the damage he is doing to himself. Authority figures, social mandates, religious influences ('Thou shalt not!') can make a deep impression on one who is already convinced he is not good enough. He is afraid of causing trouble, avoids taking up too much space, and tries to be perfect. When he enters a room, he pulls in his aura rather than extending his energy. He may not stick up for himself and demand his rights. If he does, he will probably be defensive about it. He actually feels he doesn't have any rights, suspecting that a showdown will confirm his worst fears and proclaim that he is in reality an unworthy being. A lack of self-esteem prevents him from asking for much. When he has trouble getting the things he does need, it only reinforces his decision that he must get what he wants by himself, for himself.

The person with this rising sign can go through tremendous suffering. The fear that he will never be able to trust another living soul isolates him to the extent that he becomes particularly independent because of his very need to be dependent. He has already decided that no-one can accomplish anything as well as he. When he is finally willing to take a chance, letting down some barriers, he is likely to pick the very people who won't appreciate him. And so he ends up doing everything himself, as usual, perhaps getting 'dumped on' to some degree. He then feels that life has treated him particularly unfairly, but sees no way out of his predicament. He reinforces his decision to depend on no-one but himself, but feels terribly alone, pressured, and begins to pull away. He isolates himself by putting up his protective walls. He can then feel noble, tired, overburdened, and under extreme pressure. Tension mounts and he is once again comfortable wearing his hair shirt. He hides behind his martyrdom, assumes total control, and feels safe once more.

The person with Saturn ruling the ascendant tends to project onto others through the same kind of judgement he imposes on himself. He can be extremely demanding, expecting perfection from everyone. Since he will never totally please himself, he may never find anyone else who can live up to his standards. It is sometimes difficult to be around him if he is not on safe ground. He makes it impossible to enjoy simple companionship when he builds his walls. He projects his insecurities and judgements onto others, becomes quite defensive, and may bite the hand that tries to feed him. If he is left alone, he has set up another self-fulfilling prophecy. When he begins to understand that his negativity and judgemental nature is only a safety device, he may be able to find better ways to feel safe. The simple awareness that he is seeing 'danger' in a situation - which might normally trigger safety-device behavior - can sometimes be enough to prevent this non-productive behavior.

This is the person with a workaholic tendency. He expects other people to have the same ability and tendency. Since he is a perfectionist, he may procrastinate a great deal. If he gives himself not quite enough time to do a perfect job, he has a built-in excuse for some imperfections along the way. He works best under pressure anyway, and may have to overload himself to have a sense of accomplishment. The Capricorn personality can never be pushed or threatened. He is so hard on himself that he simply won't take pressure from someone else. He will respond to reason and a sense of duty, but pressure simply builds his walls higher. The best way to deal with him is to appeal to his need to be needed.

In matters of affection, the individual with this ascednant may apperat to be totally unresponsive to overtures of love. It is hard to know just how to reach him. Because of a basic insecurity, he sets up constant tests. He wonders why anyone would love him for himself, so he looks for a reason. All of this behavior can be entirely subconsciious, but when he indeed is able to push someone away, he feels justified in the tests he set up. He knew he'd be left sooner or later. He may deny himself true love and end up with someone whose primary quality is staying power. When he does let love into his life, the need for constant reassurance can be a bore. He seems to do little to encourage reassurance when he is feeling insecure and scared. He may seem especially cool and aloof juyst at the time he wants love and affection the most. Intimacy is something he craves, but the fear of rejection can be stronger. He can even pick the very people who will be most disloyal, again setting himself up for the ultimate rejection. If someone tells him of loving feelings, he may easily think they only want to use him. Low self-esteem can cause him to doubt true affection. Finally, some intense pain or loss makes him re-examine his choices and defence structures.

Capricorn rising may choose to live a lonely existence rather than go through that maddening cycle. Of course, his loneliness makes him feel more rejected than ever. His fear produces extreme caution. He can be accused of being selfish, but it is the fear of loss that makes him hang on to whatever he has. He is very proper, conservative, and sometimes timid or shy. His solemnity may hide a completely different personality. He may not know that he hides behind a façade of bitterness and distrust, withdrawing from society because of the fear of getting too close. He may be totally unaware that he holds people at arm's length.

The secret to the reversal of his negative traits lies in his willingness or ability to decide to take care of himself in a healthy way. Venus is the antidote for Saturn. The 'wisdom of selfishness', learning how to develop self-love, will finally enable him to learn when and how to say 'no'. Depending on the aspects to Saturn in the natal chart, however, the individual may still overload himself in some form or another even when he becomes aware of his tendency to do so. He may trap himself in occupations where he is pinned down to details, heavy responsibility, and where he constantly has to prove himself. In relationships or marriage, he tends to attract situations where his masochistic tendencies can be played out. If he realizes he made a bad choice, he may continue to let himself be a doormat, rather than leaving, feeling he has made his bed and must lie in it. His need to be needed can attract the very person who won't appreciate his devotion and loyalty. Since he believes that his survival depends on being perfect, it is hard to admit he has made a mistake. He may punish himself unmercifully for having been wrong.

As an individual reaches the approximate age of twenty-eight, when Saturn has completed its turn around the chart and once again arrives at its natal position (it takes Saturn twenty-eight years to complete a revolution through all the signs), the person with a Saturnish personality begins to let up on himself. He takes the first major step out of the playpen. A new determination and confidence in his ability allows him to assume some sort of higher responsibility. The new decisions may be born out of pain, as that playpen gets tighter and tighter and the individual feels no choice but to go up to a higher level of activity, where the burdens will be of a higher quality. With each major turn of Saturn in the chart, he works out certain problems and learns to take care of himself in a healthier way. It may take years of hard work to finally understand that he has a right to say 'no'. When he becomes a good parent to himself, he has won a major battle. He trusts himself more, and therefore his trust in others increases. He takes off the hair shirt, values himself, understands just how responsible he is. He learns not to overload himself quite as much as he has in the past.

When Saturn is well aspected in the natal chart, the individual comes into life with a deep sense of destiny and duty. Living is serious business. He may still have a less than easy childhood, yet some of the fears are lessented and much of the critical attitude is mitigated. He develops the supportive parent ego state as a result of the supportive messages he received from his mother and father. He still needs to be in charge, and may have a somewhat grave disposition, but will find worthwhile projects to sink his teeth into. His support and encouragement to associates endear him to others. He is someone to be reckoned with and relied upon. He chooses to provide some kind of security for others and will seek an occupation of high service. His natural sense of responsibility and denial enables him to survive hardhsips others might find unendurable. Many statesmen are born with this ascendant.

A need to break through restrictive walls can lead one with this rising sign to the theatre. Dedication to their craft is a trait shared by fine actors with this rising sign. Professionalism is part of the package. An emphasis on technique and technicality enables them to rise to the top of the luminous heap. Tremendous dedication must join hands with talent to result in such accomplishment.

One particularly Capricorn-like characteristic is the recognition that with practice and dedication to one's chosen cause it is never too late. Life seems to get better as one with this ascendant gets older.

The Capricorn personality is patient to the end. He sets long-range goals and takes one step at a time in order to safely reach his destination. He cannot be hurried. Ha may not reach his true destiny until later in life. This may be due to a gradual easing up on the restrictions he sets for himself. He may have used the restrictive influences of Saturn to hold him back until he is really ready to assume his ultimate responsibility and destiny. He can be the Rock of Gibraltar, or just be stuck in the mud. He is most often his own worst enemy.

Choices seem especially important for one with this personality. Letting go of judgements of 'rights and wrongs', and learning to live and let live, will propel him to the top of the mountain. He is to be relied upon, depended upon, and respected.

Partnership and marriage may be the most emotionally charged area in the life of one with Capricorn rising, for the Moon rules the seventh house of partnership or marriage for one with this ascendant. Sensitivity, feelings, emotions, vulnerability, and nurturing instincts are qualities assigned to the Moon, but the Moon can also describe changes of feelings, moodiness, and extreme sensitivity. Since the Moon is the fastest-moving body in the heavens, making an aspect to another planet every two hours, the feelings about marriage can be extremely changeable. The Capricorn rising can be attracted to someone moody, and changeable, or the relationship may be an especially sensitive, nurturing one, exciting in its changing phases.

The Capricorn personality expresses a strong parental quality. Since the seventh house describes the opposite qualities looked for in partnership, the Saturnish personality seeks someone who is nurturing, sensitive, mothering, vulnerable, and 'feminine', the qualities he may not easily express himself. He can be attracted to someone who is in need in some way, augmenting his own need to be needed. The aspects to the Moon in an individual chart paint the picture of marital happiness or unhappiness.

If the Moon is well aspected, the likelihood is that wonderful emotional bliss is possible in relationships. Deep ties on an unconscious level make for deep feelings. The Capricorn personality can find someone especially understanding and mothering as a partner. He, in turn, will learn to release more of his own neediness and vulnerability. The stoic, walled-in personality of Capricorn eventually wears down, so that the individual can truly take care of himself and therefore care for those he loves. If he continues to play the parent role in a negative sense, he sets himself up to be dumped on - but he certainly feels needed. He may buy into emotional games on the part of the partner, not know how to say 'no', or not even feel he has a right to say 'no' occasionally.

In the case of a female born with Capricorn rising, the attraction to someone sensitive may describe role reversal in marriage. If each partner is aware of his individual needs and is in harmony with that role reversal, everything can be beautiful. The switch in roles is more common now than in former times. This lady attracts a man who is more the 'mothering' type. She may attract a mate who works at home. Many times the mate assumes responsibility for their children on a daily bais, while Capricorn rising goes away from the home to work. Since the Moon is the strongest planet in the charts of writers, the husband may be a writer, or someone who is especially sensitive to the trends of the times. He may be a consultant, or work with women. She may handle the details and more routine responsibilities in the partnership. If the Moon is not well aspected in her own chart, she is liable to attract someone who cannot express the vulnerability that is, nevertheless, there. The mate may put up walls to protect his own feelings and may be easily hurt. She may have to avoid taking on the role of the parent during her courtship. She may not be able to aks to have her own needs taken care of. She will then end up feeling that she has been treated poorly or unfairly.

In the chart of a man with Capricorn rising, the attraction may be to someone who was wounded or abandoned in childhood. He may love the thought of protecting an emotional, vulnerable woman. As the Moon indicates his feelings toward and interaction with women in general, it is especially helpful if the women in his life were good role models. He will tend to play 'father' very easily, but that role can become tedious later on. The examination of any rejection complex enables both sexes to reveal feelings, needs, and hungers. Putting the feelings into perspective through analysis allows for the attraction of a more satisfying relationship and partnership.

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posted March 13, 2005 03:04 PM              

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I'm sorry if i haven't gotten back with u, my computer crashed and its been a while getting it running up again.

not to mention the cookies got erased and for a while i couldn't access this section of lindaland.

WELL i GUESS WE PROVED THE TRUTHFULLNESS OF ASTROLGY.

YES THERE IS A LOT ON MY PLATE, AS I HAVE DISCOVERD, U FORCASTED THIS IN JANUARY WHERE NOW IN MARCH AND ITS HAPPEN LIKE U SUGGESTED.

i started a new job in january, and started a new college program. So far i'm not liking my new college program,

its my second college program by the way,
the first being TV-production, and now buissnes, i'm thinking of getting out of it into either Game Developer or a diffrent buissnes, more of starting your own buissnes.

right now i see myself in a postion of "where do i fit" and how do i reach it.

thanks for your imput, sorry i haven't gotten back to u.

I was asked by stherni, i think i spelled her name wrong, if i was a Film maker and another Astrolger said i work best in creative work, should i persue this in college, as i had the best times with media.

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Posts: 2153
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 11, 2006 01:59 PM            

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what are you doing now?
are you still in school?
I took some film classes in college
I really enjoyed them but for me they were just
fulfilling my humanities courses.

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posted November 12, 2006 03:28 AM              

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Well its been a while since we last spoken.

I'm still in school but i'm now in game development/game design.

Its a lot of programing, actually if you check the time when i replied. I'm up pretty late tonight

must be my cap rissing makeing me persistant to finish my coding.

I got out of Film studies a year ago, given the nature of the movie industry, looks like i made a good choice.

Then tried bussiness, it was good but i wasn't happy with what i was learning.

There was a line in linda goodman's sunsign that said about gemini men changing there careers just like that, i pretty much did that,LoL.

but i think i'm sure were i'm heading now, the game development program is vary well rounded, which is good.

it looks like things may be looking good.

Things i think have improved a bit, i hope the worse is behind me now.

my only problem i notice is sometimes my capircorn rissing wants me to go one way

while my gem sun wants to go the other way

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