posted April 19, 2012 07:50 PM            

I wanted to get someone's interpretation of my synastry with my exboyfriend. This was not my last boyfriend but was my most serious relationship. I wasn't really into astrology at the time at all. It was the longest relationship I've been in and the only guy I ever lived with.. We basically were living together before we moved in together.

Then a month later I broke up with him and absorbed the lease. It was a LOT of fighting at the end. And i ended up getting a crush on someone and just left. I didn't cheat or anything but i felt compelled I had to break up with him.. that i wasn't in love with him anymore... that we couldn't get along.. we would never have been happy newlyweds if we were going to get married one day..

I still feel very bad about it. I am trying to somewhat face the fact I really hurt him and not suppress it and brush it under the rug. i didnt date my boyfriend after that until 11 months later. He started drinking heavily after the break-up and took it really hard. I feel so bad about it

Anything in here show that it wouldn't have lasted?

Our composite: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/jaicosmetique/acomposite.jpg

Our synastry: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/jaicosmetique/asynastry.jpg

His chart:
not surprised at all about all the capricorn going on http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/jaicosmetique/abirthchart.jpg

My birth chart: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/jaicosmetique/ab.jpg

posted April 19, 2012 10:10 PM            

I'm definitely willing to lend a hand with interpreting the compatibility or lack thereof in the synastry, but I need to know - whose planets are on the outside? Usually it'll say at the top of the chart on astro.com 'Person A (outside)' to indicate this but that got cut off with the screenshot. :3

posted April 19, 2012 10:39 PM            

Your Ex BF's chart and how it affects him::

First off, your ex-BF had a Scorpio Moon... and they do not take emotionally difficult situations well. I know a Scorpio Moon who obsesses over emotional conflict from over 25 years ago he had with someone important in his life! That's how it seems to go with Scorpio Moons... they can bond intensely to someone close to them in their life and even the smallest slights from that person can set them off and make them very vindictive or hurt. Usually this Moon placement indicates a rather tough childhood, in terms of emotional support and bonding. The nurturing was not comforting or soothing most likely... the guy I referenced earlier had very unloving and at times distant parents. Therefore with this Moon placement if the aspects are difficult, it indicates the nurturing lead to difficulties with emotions later in life.

Jupiter in your ex's chart is VERY afflicted, it's in a good house, in the 10th which can improve the career and social standing - except it makes no harmonious aspects to any planet AND it makes the mystic 'finger of god' aspect to Venus and Mars. It's also called a Yod in astrology. See how there seems to be a big triangle in the middle of the chart, connecting Jupiter, Mars and Venus? That's the Yod. In a Yod, there is a fulcrum or 'activation point' according to reading I did; it means that this planet is at the foot of the two quincunxes (the green lines descending out). In this case for your ex Jupiter is the fulcrum planet but it is highly afflicted. What does this mean? Looking at the planet of expansion and luck, combined with the house that has to deal with getting somewhere in life and establishing a good career, this COULD mean for him that his life could suddenly be disrupted by misfortune dealing with business associations and career matters, sudden luck or terrible loss there, and just a feeling of difficulty advancing in that area. Do you feel this is true for him...? I say this because if you look, it opposes Uranus which also leads to erratic events and instability, it also opposes his Sun, Saturn AND Neptune. Not good. A Yod is quite karmic. There is something special about it... it can bring uniqueness and/OR grief. The activation planet has a certain fate about it. You'll have much to learn about these three planets in the configuration. One of the 'lesson to be learned' planets is Venus. It seems in life, he might have much to learn about love and his own love nature.

Venus in Aquarius is sometimes a not so good combination because they do not tolerate co-dependence and can seem aloof to the partner at times. He also has it in the 5th house and maybe I'm wrong, but this probably means that he doesn't have very many troubles attracting a partner, right? But it makes a sextile to his Sagittarius Mars in the 3rd, which indicates that the way he thinks (3rd house) is affected by his love nature (Venus in the 5th house) and that can bring karmic lessons to learn by aspecting Jupiter in the 10th with double quincunxes. Basically, this means the way he lives his life at home and in relationships is out of synch with his professional life or maybe he feels his personal relationships could be limiting to his professional life somehow? Any or none of these could be true. They're all just educated guesses.

For the Venus-Jupiter quincunx, he shoves too much of his 5H Venus energies into his 10H matters and as a result, overextend himself and maybe be conned easily, if he tries to win people over with all he can do for them. This ends up boomeranging back onto him very negatively at times. With 3H Mars, he puts too much of his Martian mentality into attempting to achieve his hopes, wishes and dreams through his career... he tries to mask a competitive mentality by helping out others, but this also comes back onto him by ending up alone. OR, he tries to do so much for other people in his career and with colleagues that he has nothing left for himself at the end of the day. He tries to kiss up to them maybe, and appear to be very helpful and they could take advantage of him leading him to be bitter. What do you think? Is this true for him? Having all these difficulties in his higher life can make life very frustrating to a person.

Was your ex's childhood rather... different or odd in some way? Not only does he have the Scorpio Moon, he also has a 4th house Uranus. This indicates unusual childhood conditions most often. If you have this placement something could have been bizarre in your childhood like moving around too much or having one or both parents being very odd. This could also negatively influence his life. The area dealing with professionalism and career advancements, the Jupiter in the 10th, is opposing ALL his 4th house planets... it seems moving away from what happened in his lower life and mind to greener pastures so to speak is very hard for him. Maybe he has emotional baggage as a result. What do you feel about this?

And woah... Moon conjunct Pluto is very intense in any kind of chart, synastry or otherwise; he has it. Something very intense could have happened to his mother or between him and his mother growing up. He was likely very attuned to her moods and maybe very connected to her? This aspect can make a person very intense and easily attached to someone who gets closer, and they can get very Scorpionic about the attachment. That's maybe why he started drinking from the sorrow he felt, because emotionally he's a very vulnerable person, most likely due to his childhood/early life conditioning.

I hope this doesn't sound too awkward! How do you think that fits in with him? Maybe a little, maybe not...? It seems like your ex is an intense person with maybe a bit of emotional baggage, and definite career issues, or just frustration with that area. That's what I get from this.

posted April 19, 2012 11:20 PM            

He shouldn't have trouble finding another girlfriend because he is very handsome and has a pretty likable personality... sometimes. Everyone who I introduced him to only has good things to say still.

Him and I met from work - so that could be in there. He did get promoted after we started dating. I think he's still in college but haven't asked him with everything else going on with him. You hit the nail on the head with him about work. He works very hard but has a terrible attitude. Especially if he feels taken advantage of. He ll do a good job... but be bitter about it so his bad attitude and mouth don't help him. It always frustrated me because his attitude would cancel out all the good solid work he did. Ugh. Yeah that's definitely his weakness. Even with last job. He worked hard but had no business sense. He could get very angry and take things personally with work.

Him and his mother - I mean it was borderline ridiculous. They were incredibly close. She was very overprotective. She gave me an unbelievably hard time at first. Situations i almost walked out bc she was so rude. She seemed obsessed with him. She warmed up to me later in relationship. She wants the best for him but was very hard on me/wanted him to need her/tough on him at the same time? If that makes sense. He only wasn't very open about his childhood. I heard stories but he never summarized anything really. His dad is pretty reserved. His mom is in your face. Both his parents drink a lot socially/ a lot in general. As far as the uranus thing - I think they are both very odd

posted April 20, 2012 03:52 PM            

I can kind of see how Venus in the 5th quincunx Jupiter in the 10th could relate the love life and work life uncomfortably. It actually makes sense that he'd maybe meet most of his long-term partners in the work life. I am still poring over your synastry with him but I noted that your Sun falls in his 11th house. This most likely means that you two were on the same level maybe, like you were friends and close colleagues before getting together romantically? So that's also why I figured at first you could have established your romantic connection through work. There seems to be a greater chance of that happening for him, since Venus is connected to a 10th house planet.

What could have caused friction is your Pluto landing in his 3rd House. Maybe this meant you were trying to revitalize or change his thinking a little. Maybe you brought a new perspective to his life. Maybe you openly rebelled against the unnaturally close way he connects to Mom, or can be far too Martian in his thinking which oft leads to his determinant in 10th house work matters. Perhaps you tried to help him change his perspective, and it seemed to work a little bit, or it could have at least! Pluto makes a trine to his 10th House Jupiter. You tried to help him change his mindset about work so you could ease some of the afflictions his 3rd house caused for his 10th house. Do you feel that's true? That you were trying to get him to see things differently so he wouldn't be so bitter about his professional life, or maybe you gave him help with it in general...? Although your transformative Pluto tried to help him regenerate his mindset about career matters, it could have afflicted your love life together. Your Pluto squares his Venus. They call it the 'fine love between love and hate' aspect. Maybe he felt his 5H Venus was being stifled by your Pluto. Maybe your Pluto in his 3rd really messed with his mind, not in necessarily a bad way... it shook up and agitated a usually aloof Venus in Aquarius, you know what I mean? It's adding some action to a Venus in a rather 'eh' sign. This could have caused intense attraction between you, intense sexuality but also resentment or jealousy in fear of losing one another at times. Do you feel this is true?

I feel one negative hit against making this relationship work is your Uranus in his 4th house. This is very difficult... you were most likely challenging some of the odd beliefs he kept from a rather odd childhood/early life conditioning. Did this involve his mother in any way? If so, you probably hit a very weak point and this could have caused him to lash out. Also, I noticed your Sun square his Moon. This is a largely difficult synastry aspect and usually denotes tension. It's a big negative in a relationship that must be worked out some way, and usually only if the rest of the synastry is rather positive is their more hope rather than pessimism about it... and unfortunately the synastry is not positive enough to cancel this one out. Having this aspect usually indicates that he is emotionally sensitive - as I had guessed - and that for some reason he sees you as picky, mean or just insensitive to him at times even when this is far from true. Do you feel like this ever happened with you and him?
Having this can cause tension about every day things in the union like how you share your lives together, how you pay the bills or split responsibilities... the Moon person, him in this case, can be just too sensitive and blame the Sun, you, for too much.

I do see that you two probably had extreme sexual attraction, if you don't mind me being forward. I can tell this from your Mars landing in his 8th. Mars in the 8th in synastry or the natal chart is very, very sexual... the most sexual placement for Mars there is. So you definitely had sexual chemistry, but it seems when you got down to brass tacks with more realistic, down to earth matters in the union the problems could have arisen. Do you agree at all? I also see Mars squares Uranus. Meaning you two could have electric sexual chemistry, but the Uranus person, your ex, could probably reactive to Mars' energy by throwing a curveball and having fights just as easily as you'd want to have sex.

Another area of tension I spotted was your Venus in his 10th House opposing his Sun. This means that you might have really tried to soothe his career issues and help him out in any way possible, but at the same time discord still came up. He might not have appreciated your efforts to help him in this area. He could have felt this way because look at the paramount differences between Cap Sun and Gemini Venus. Gemini Venus is more light, airy and not as paranoid, it's a social placement for Venus and you don't see it necessary to be TOO rigid and structured in terms of the 10th house matters. But in his opinion, your unique viewpoint about 10H matters just clashed with his heavy, earthy Capricorn style. He might not have appreciated it because of this. More simply, this one could mean that what you want in the relationship (your Venus) is not compatible with his core identity. Maybe you just felt not as loved as you would have desired to be due to his heavy Capricorn nature. It could be that, for example, you're up for all the fun daily activities and little shopping trips and trying new cuisines when you take a beach trip, and all he wants to do is sit under a tree and read a book. :') Do you feel either of these situations could be true?

I think... I THINK the reason why you suddenly just left the union and were just so compelled to go is the Sun-Jupiter quincunx. Your Jupiter landed in his 9th, the natural home for the planet. Maybe both you and he saw so many prospects in this partnership... but with time, it just became more and more clear that it was not exactly working out, and YOU suddenly realized: oh my god, I think I need to leave. Is that what it felt like? Maybe in the relationship he sort of idealized you or just felt you were a lovely, perfect partner since his Venus trines your Jupiter, but that couldn't make you stay. It couldn't hold up a tent that was already collapsing to the ground; it just wasn't enough. Maybe you needed something more genuine, not just lovely idealization or inflated hopes about who you were. What do you think?

posted April 20, 2012 04:55 PM            

The relationship I suppose was sexual at first when we began to have sex. At first we were just friends. I never expected to get feelings for him at all. We just spent time together as friends. We did not have sex until we were dating officially. The relationship was not a very romantic relationship. I think for me I wanted security at that point which he definitely offered. I could count on him. It was definitely a best friends relationship. He never was very romantic but would do everyday things for me to show his affection? I suppose the best friend part is why we lasted so long. When it was good, I was hanging out with my best friend. We always could make eachother laugh and be extremely silly together. He definitely leaned on me more than I leaned on him. I think he idealized me bc I am a strong woman and he thought I was beautiful to the point where he ignored fundamental problems in our relationship. Maybe it was my Gemini Venus but I generally try to back out of a relationship. However his sturdiness made my one foot out the door ways last longer than anyone. I think he accepted that I could be fickle and provided the security I needed to be in a real long term relationship. I do feel like he depended on me a lot emotionally. When anything happened, I was always there, a good listener and have good advice. He was not that person to me. I had to go outside the relationship for emotional support from friends.

The fight that ultimately broke us up, I know his mom came up. It did not start with it. But he might have mentioned something she said. The whole fight is blurry. He drank a lot more than me but I had been drinking too. We were at my friends apartment that night. I was being distant. He was insulting me and making me cry. He was not physical but he threw my cell phone. When I was crying, he kept insisting and saying I was faking it. I had called my friend in tears asking to come back. When he was saying all the terrible things he said "oh you should be used to it". My father was verbally abusive and said things that therapist can barely believe. Since he brought this up in this way.... I went to my friends apartment that night and stayed with her until he moved out the next week. I just knew I had to, that the whole relationship wrong. It was not ok for him to use my "issues" against me . It was certainly alcohol related but not ok.