posted June 11, 2012 07:11 PM            

What is going on with my "relationship"?

What is J, hiding/not telling me?

What did I do wrong?

Is it over between us? Did i loose him forever?

So sad, maybe ill post a horary chart too, Sigh

posted June 11, 2012 09:08 PM            

Your kind words and genuine warmth, bring a smile to my face. But It might be the end as i know it a chapter might end for me tonight

Love does conquer all. It conquers karma, planets, astrology, tarot but one can only kick so much before you have to walk away from a dead horse

posted June 11, 2012 09:44 PM            

No ive never been depressed in my life and i dont think i will ever be.

posted June 11, 2012 10:47 PM            

(This deck is rather deep, even dryly humorous/sarcastic at times, so just meditate on how it applies to your situation)

The cards that manifested were:
Freak
--http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/freak.html

Always Remember This
--http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/remember.html

There is No You
--http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/noyou.html

Await Further Orders
--http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/await.html

The Universe is Not Unfolding the Way it Should
--http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/unfold.html

Drug Dragged
--http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/dragged.html

-----------

I pulled another 3 cards for further clarification:

Your Mission is Not Yet Complete
--http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/mission.html

Transmutation Through Union of Opposites
-- http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/morgans.html

Grass
--http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/card/grass.html

-----------------------
My Interpretation:

[[The Freak]] tells that the situation changed rather drastically in a blink of an eye, and/or you have been trying a bit too hard to please J instead of being your true self; afraid of being cast out if you do. It seems to me that you're always walking on eggshells, always conscious of what you must and must not do in order to please him... It's like you have a belief, conscious or not, that if you do what he likes (or what you think he does), everything will be okay and he will want to commit to you. It has became a routine, and the influx of information whenever you interact with him has started to bog you down; he felt that, so he has withdrawn... [[Always Remember This + Await for Further Orders]]

I still have a hard time interpreting the card [[There is No You]], but along with [[The Universe is Not Unfolding the Way It Should]] and [[Drug Dragged]], I interpret it as you have a hard time facing your 'current reality' that it has started to take a toll on your health. I love the quote from [[TUiNUtWIS]]

quote:

---

"The most difficult lesson we have to learn is that we are always in the right place at the right time." ---The basic message here is that regret and guilt are not useful emotions.

---

...I said 'current reality', that which he recently started to withdraw from you, only because we are masters of our own reality... we have the power to change everything once we are aware of what we are, what everything is. We tend to project ourselves to the future, to our fantasies, that we forget to place the building blocks in the present in order to get there. The clarifying cards also tells this. [[Your Mission is Not Yet Complete + Transmutation Through Union of Opposites + Grass]] ...It's not yet over, this is part of your karmic path that you must go through. Let go of preconceptions and expectations; "Tension, when not resisted, can be changed into positivity." Be creative, the Universe is giving you this 'opportunity' to go within yourself and find happiness inside you. " A higher state can be attained by mixing different and even opposing energies."

Grieve if you must, but remember that you are your own fountain of love. He will gravitate towards you if you show him that you are self-sufficient; he will thirst for that love which only you can give. (See why he came back after 4 years?) It does suck to have it happen all over again (boy do I know)... but life is just repeating its lessons until you've finally learned it. Don't feign self-sufficiency by pushing him away on purpose, yet expecting him to beg for you in return... it's suicide. You must know it with your heart and soul. Don't expect. Live in the present. Don't try to mask or skirt the situation by not telling him what you really feel, but don't put the blame on yourself nor on himself. Speak Your Truth. And the closest, most discernible Truth without any form of doubt, is your true feelings. Your ability to get in tune with your emotions quickly is your greatest weapon that could disarm a man.

[/endramble]

posted June 11, 2012 11:30 PM            

THANK YOU!!!

Yes it does make sense. I had to re read it a few times, but i get it.

I have to be true to myself again, i think you are right, trying to please him by pretending to be independent and self sufficient... Altho iam independant (i work, pay my own bills, live on my own) but have exagerated the i dont need anyone persona. I think i have forgotten my inner essence, and thats my sweet little cancer moon.

Thank you again for sharing this interesting deck and for your personal advice.

Just like Shyvirgo1979, Gem Gurl you are a kindred sweet soul.

I accept your message as truthful and well meaning.

Bless

posted June 12, 2012 12:25 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Junethird:
Dear Aeriehnox,

THANK YOU!!!

Yes it does make sense. I had to re read it a few times, but i get it.

I have to be true to myself again, i think you are right, trying to please him by pretending to be independent and self sufficient... Altho iam independant (i work, pay my own bills, live on my own) but have exagerated the i dont need anyone persona. I think i have forgotten my inner essence, and thats my sweet little cancer moon.

Thank you again for sharing this interesting deck and for your personal advice.

Just like Shyvirgo1979, Gem Gurl you are a kindred sweet soul.

I accept your message as truthful and well meaning.

Bless

Not much i can do tonight about him, i called him back twice and send a text... So until tmrw, another new day.

---

You're welcome June. I'm glad it connected with you, it's my first reading for someone online. lol

By independent/self-sufficient, I meant emotionally. We tend to get swept away by our feelings for a guy and try and seek happiness and love from him (that's when insecurities kick in), when we are fully capable of having these feelings on our own.

Reading how you've phrased your words... It's exactly your Cancer Moon on the works. Although, you're recently manifesting its shadow rather than its positive energy. You've retreated in your shell, a wall of so-called 'independency' in order to protect yourself from further hurt. But in doing so, you're not allowing for love to come to you naturally. Now I think the card [[There is No You]] became clearer... You need to liberate yourself, to come out in the open and be one with the Universe. It's a risk, but it's something we must all take. Now I think this card is The Fool in Traditional Tarot.

What you did so far is great, the ball is totally on his court, and there's nothing much you can do now but move on with your life. If he responds, keep your reply simple and on point. You can tell him you're confused and hurt by his actions. If you don't know what to say, then tell him just as it is! It's much better than trying to cover up by acting like his actions didn't affect you. If he doesn't respond... then let it be. Never initiate contact after that. You've laid down all your cards, now it's up to him if he would let a great woman like you to pass him by. If after all these he responds negatively, then he's not worth it. Only until he himself had learned his lessons, should you even try to consider being with him.

posted June 12, 2012 07:59 AM            

@seeker3030 feedback is waiting for you in the yes/no thread.