posted June 14, 2012 11:08 PM            

This is our synastry I'm on the inside he's on the outside.

This is our composite.

posted June 15, 2012 06:10 AM            

The answer lies in those words.

posted June 15, 2012 09:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Diana:
I think it has to do with your saturn on his sun. It may have felt heavy to him. Also he doesn't hit any of your personal planets (sun/venus/mars).

Reading your post it seems like you may have lost yourself in him and that can be hard for people to deal with because they feel smothered. Being that he's a sag, he may have been looking for someone more independent. I think you want different things out of relationships. I wonder if the new girl is more detached in relationships..?

---

Yea in the end I kind of felt like a burden for him. And yes I did lose myself in him. I do I want equality in a relationship (the libra in me speaking) and I think she is she's completely different from me likes parties, tattoos and strip clubs along with casual sex from the way she expresses herself she seems like maybe her sexual drive is high. Note:: his Juno is in Scorpio and he's fiancée is a Pisces.

posted June 15, 2012 09:52 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fabulous:
i turned my back on everyone for him, i gave him my all and i did everything possible for him to be happy.

The answer lies in those words.

Women who give their all to their men eventually are left with nothing. Women should never put "make him happy" on top of their priority list. The reason why you're not together anymore is because you're being taught to love yourself above everyone else. Let him go with love, love yourself and you will find someone even better.

---

You're right, and to be honest my self esteem is othe floor along with my confidence. But that's going to change. I WILL change.

posted June 15, 2012 12:57 PM            

***

You can't be boring if you're into those things. You just have to find someone who gets excited about the things that excite you. Or at least, someone with whom you share a few interests.

posted June 16, 2012 02:54 PM            

was he a two-timer and you ignored it?
was your relationship with a secret?

posted June 16, 2012 05:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by kanwalratan:
you're a twelth houser with Venus in H12 - that's one of the reason

was he a two-timer and you ignored it?
was your relationship with a secret?

H12 has such problems so I asked

---

Yea he was it was one of the reasons why I was even more insecure and clingy with him. He was a flirt.

A secret? Like on my part, I had a BIG personal secret and I told him about it he was ok with it. He had a secret too, and I accepted it.

It's just strange to me how positive aspects in composite just wasn't enough to sustain the relationship. :-/

posted June 24, 2012 03:50 AM            

i'm sorry for you!

posted June 24, 2012 12:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by kanwalratan:
okay,i meant were you ever in a relation that you hid from others?

i'm sorry for you!

Yes,H12 is tough but it can lead you to enlightenment

---

posted June 24, 2012 06:26 PM            

Here's the upside. Don't get your hopes sky-high here - I'd need more - but I've discovered that 'highly concentrated' composites involving the Sun, Moon, and Venus - mean you're pretty bonded for life. Reason being, if there are outer planets involved, and lots of karmic indicators, you may be deeply soul-bonded.

Here's the downside. Of the cases I know, it's rough. My best friend and I manage the rough patches, but my soul-sister and her 'beau' have yet to get into a relationship, (and it's been over a decade) and my close gal-pal from college is pretty much back-and-forth with hers as circumstances keep taking them apart, even as they try to come back together.

So, being 'soulmates' as they call it - ain't easy. Doesn't guarantee a happily ever after. Just that you've got some serious issues to sort through this lifetime.

Now, as to your synastry, I'm going to echo the first thing I saw, too. Saturn. Relationships with heavy Saturn-Sun synastry - especially that conjunction - are not feel-good, happy-times. We're here to learn something very important, and that person will teach us. You being the Saturn were perceived as the wet blanket, regardless of whether or not you are. A funny thing happens when we're the Saturn, and our chart isn't very Saturn-influenced. That part of ourselves is suddenly activated. We may be very lighthearted, easygoing, and casual-minded - but that person brings OUT the more responsible, critical, overbearing, control-freak in us. It's rough. I'm sure it was something of a mystery to you at times - even with that Cappy Moon, which already has plenty of Saturn to spare.

Now, to a Sag? On top of that - a Sag Sun-Uranus? Oh, honey, no. If my best friend and I EVER had tried to be in any kind of committed thing, it would have ONLY worked AFTER I'd learnt to ditch my possessive nature, find security within myself, and appreciate his need for freedom. Hell, he taught ME how much I need my OWN freedom!

Sun-Uranus, no matter how you slice it, makes one a 'Uranian' in every sense of the word: individualistic, freedom-needing, friends-to-all.

Here's where the whole thing blew up. Hence, 'why you ended'. Not only is your Saturn on his Sun, your Saturn's on his Sun-Uranus. You were constantly limiting, restricting, reining him in, raining on the parade, overbearing, controlling, so forth and so on.

It's no mystery he found someone who exhibits all of the qualities of his now repressed Uranus. Again, though, the upside is that it's doubtful that will last. Two loose cannons eventually start realising that life can't be a nonstop party. Unless they truly commit to a relationship together, in which there's sharing and growing and acceptance and compromise, one will bolt.

He came to you to learn commitment. You taught him that. Unfortunately, you're both young. Men aren't ready to learn commitment that young. Now he thinks he's found the love of his life because she's the embodiment of everything you aren't. She's fun, and carefree, and spontaneous, and - probably a basketcase. (You know it, I know it; spade a spade.)

So, you did what you were supposed to. Held up your end of the bargain. I did the same thing. My fiancé in college picked me up from work, parked the car, and took his time entering my apartment behind me, because he'd moved everything of his out. As I turned in bewilderment, he shook his head, holding back his own tears and placed the key into my limp, trembling hand. So many years ago, and yet, I remember that day like it were moments ago - because it changed me.

I married a man who's a Sun-Saturn. In our composite, we've got a strong Sun-Saturn. It's rough. There are days I feel like all he does is drag me down, and I have to keep myself afloat. But his actions show his support, even if his words are very discouraging, pessimistic, and lacking compassion. He shows his love through solid, practical ways. It's tough, but it's taught me - as someone else said - to become more self-reliant - especially regarding self-regulating my emotions. I don't rely upon him to make me 'happy'. I give myself confidence, assurance, and the courage that I can achieve whatever I'm after. I'm grateful for his practical support, and I supply my own 'cheerleading'.

Some folks need a cheerleader, though. They haven't learnt how to encourage themselves and need external drive. As a result, they can't take the 'tough love' for which Saturn's known.

I say, keep your chin up. Doubtful that marriage will last - unless - as many of us have discovered - we tend to marry a companion soul, because the twinflame relationship is too rough and inconsistent. But not always. Some do marry, and are very happy. Depends on what you're here to learn - and if you learnt it in your relationship together.

But you seem unfulfilled, and it seems he made the usual sort of 'too much Saturn!' break that all Uranians do at some point. Focus on YOU and where YOU'RE going. Develop your own emotional self-reliance, be your own cheerleader, and see what the future brings.

Hang in there.

-A.

posted June 24, 2012 06:40 PM            

Again, it's rare that these relationships ever break apart completely. But the intensity can be exhausting and bewildering. Breaks are needed. Time apart is necessary.

In these relationships, you MUST learn the value of independence. Scorpio pretty much means you're stuck together. Doesn't matter how far apart, or if one of you is married, it's ALWAYS there. You are BONDED.

So the trick - the lesson - is to understand the inherent security involved, trusting your instincts, your feelings, and never seeking to possess your partner. Possession tends to lead to the relationship coming apart. Without 'breathers' and enough freedom to trust each other that you'll still be there without CONSTANT reassurances (Saturn) one of you bolts. The intensity is too much, the power of the bond is overwhelming, and anything becomes preferable to the consumption, and obsession, and passion.

It's also something you grow into. The way you feel at 25 won't be the way you feel at 35. I guarantee it. If his new relationship is party-party-party, and there was pressure against the relationship from your family, (which never helps) and she's the one pressing to get married, there's a VERY high likelihood that he'll bolt when she starts acting like - y'know, a girlfriend / fianceé / wife - like ya do before long, because commitment CHANGES the very NATURE of a relationship.

And the weird thing about a relationship like yours is that nothing can destroy it. Remember what Linda wrote about Venus and Pluto? Nothing can tear it down. No earthly force or otherwise.

The more you come to trust in the tacit knowledge that you just ARE, and you don't have to DO anything to just BE what you ARE, you can relax, and accept what it is. Because, truly, it's a gift. It's a very special, yet fragile gift.

I'm often reminded of the classic Cupid (Eros) and Psyche myth. How pressured Psyche was to learn the truth of Cupid's identity, even though she was happier than she'd ever been. She stopped trusting in the bond - the relationship - the rapport THEY shared - and let external influences destroy her sense of security.

Trust the bond. It's there. Let everything else be. It'll sort out when it does. That's how you have to handle these things. Anything else is just futility and pushing the river.

posted June 26, 2012 09:01 AM            

(Hug) You sound so intelligent...I love that you're determined to help yourself!

My opinion on why the relationship ended is, your Mars is conjunct his moon. Even though it's not a tight conjunction, moon-Mars relationships can become too hot to handle, and it's usually the moon who breaks it off, feel agitated by Mars.

Although you do have moon trine moon, which might counteract that, if you get back together.

Your Cap moon may have trouble letting go.

Indigo,

I loved your comments. They are strangely applicable to me and my husband. In composite we have sun conjunct Venus, widely conjunct Saturn (all in Libra.)

He has sun conjunct Uranus natally. My Saturn hits that conjunction, although it's at 8 degrees orb, so it might not feel that bad to him.

The thing is, he didn't get married until he was 41. Just as you were saying...for a while, he just wanted his freedom and independence (he's a Leo, but I'm talking about sun-Uranus.)

The "wet blanket" factor works both ways for us, since his Saturn is exactly conjunct my Venus, conjunct my Neptune by 6 degrees. But our relationship has been getting better and better over time.

And this is SO "us" as well:

quote:

---

There are days I feel like all he does is drag me down, and I have to keep myself afloat. But his actions show his support, even if his words are very discouraging, pessimistic, and lacking compassion. He shows his love through solid, practical ways. It's tough, but it's taught me - as someone else said - to become more self-reliant - especially regarding self-regulating my emotions. I don't rely upon him to make me 'happy'. I give myself confidence, assurance, and the courage that I can achieve whatever I'm after. I'm grateful for his practical support, and I supply my own 'cheerleading'.

---

That's us, too. We can go for weeks without too much pessimism, but "there are days"! Overall, I really appreciate his work and sacrifice on my behalf, and the fact that he always wants to be around me, always wants to talk. I need that kind of steadiness.

However, I have to be emotionally self-sufficient in some ways, because I am an 8H Pisces moon, and he's a water void.

Anyway, good luck to all of us.

posted June 27, 2012 03:02 AM            

For the past two days, I don't know what it is, or what's happening (haven't looked at his transist or so but the last time I checked his transit Saturn is about to leave 11th house going into 12th house soon) but he's been contacting me often multiple times in those two days and we just end up talking and talking. IF he were to ask to work out things between us, my answer would be no. I feel like I've learned what I needed to learn outta that relationship and getting back together with him would feel as if I'm taking a step back. I think I'm finally at the point where I can finally let go. ^_^

I did learn a lot form that relationship and I hope in the future not to make those same mistakes with another.

And yes I am focusing on me and where I'm going, more than never before ^_^

posted July 04, 2012 01:22 PM            

just let him go out of your mind - you guys shared some really bad karma from your side, i suppose - *12th house effect*