posted October 27, 2012 10:56 PM            

It's been a difficult couple years, and I feel like I am finally on solid ground again now, but there are still things I am conflicted about. Specifically relationships and my living/school situation

Also, here is the chart of the guy I'm interested in. I'm away for the semester (or up to a year) and things were left very up in the air. The situation is just confusing and I've been wanting answers lately but don't want to push too hard for a relationship if that's not something he really wants. We have plans to spend time together once I'm back there, and he has said a lot of really sweet things, but then he will also say things like "you know there's nothing holding you back if you want to date other people there" which I don't know if that's a form of testing me, or if it's his way of saying he wants to do the same... I can also post the synastry and composite if that would be useful.

posted October 28, 2012 02:17 AM            

When I first look at your natal chart, I see a person that has a great affinity with the sea, and there is an image, though maybe this isn't exactly what you do, but yes there is an image that you could coast along the pathway on a skate board at the side of the beach just fully loving the proximity of the sea and the sensation of sailing. But maybe it is someone close to you like a brother that does this, as there is almost an introspective side to you that impresses their personality onto others around them, so yes, you have an affect on others to live out some of your dispositions. The affinity to the sea is chiefly seen in the left of the chart, and the propensity for others to pick up on some of your needs and fulfill them is seen when these left points and planets contact Moon, Sun and Mercury. Later in life your children will live out some of your needs for you and you then observe how they dealt with it or experienced it. It is like there is a stalemate within you that says, I want that but I'm not going to do it - you do it, and I will observe you, and come to my own conclusions.

There is quite some hurt felt in the chart and you have incurred some hurts as well out of an anticipation to protect yourself in advance. The hurts felt are because you operate on such an emotional level, you didn't understand when you were little, that others such as parents could not always attend to making you feel ok, as they had practical things to do, but as a small child you took their occupation with other things as a sign that they did not care enough about you, and you felt very hurt. This is seen in the mars opposition moon/pluto, as well as chiron in the first, and the jupiter-venus opposition.

The Jupiter-Venus opposition had you 'playing up' for attention. The Mars-Pluto is a vengeful aspect, and the Moon-Mars opposition has a crying feel attached, the combination . I feel very sorry about this as it was like a misunderstanding I think, and it was based on the way you are wired. It is like you would have liked your parents to live inside you and then you might live you think you were supposed to as it is like you are confused by many things.

Sun conjunct Saturn puts on a brave face with Mars' help and decides along the lines of 'come on, lets make out we are ok, and just get done what looks like would be the best thing to do'. With Neptune and Uranus applying strongly to the DSC, this assisted a sort of make believe approach to going about things, and I would say that you are quite funny, probably with a dry wit. You make lots of wise cracks and this helps you cope with getting things done and it makes people think that you are cruising along just fine.

I looked at Venus in Aquarius in the 8th, and I think you would be an expert on doing silly walks or copying some kind of trait from others, and people would just crack up all over the place.

Chiron in the first conjunct the South Node, is an extremely serious placement however. You probably would seem very responsible about certain matters and you are quite dedicated to improving social conditions, I would say.

With Cancer Rising and Moon in the 5th in Sag ruled by Jupiter in the 2nd in Leo, here present is like a greed for insight, that you can collect as resources, and you find by doing this it contributes to your feelings of safety, comfort and enjoyment of life. This trait would manifest as the following examples: crystals - understanding their qualities, getting feedback from others about them, and maybe trying out with friends and family if certain crystals contribute such and such when the person sleeps with them under the pillow or takes them with them on an important day, that kind of thing. Another example of this configuration and effect is like a person sleeping in an outer cabin on a big ship, and being able to take in the complete sensation of the movement of the ship, the huge deep ocean, and the sky - sort of like ingesting these sensations, so that again, like the skateboarding along the esplanade, you stay dry but get the full sensation of the sea without having to be to unprotected or getting wet. And there is a connotation here that perhaps these outer cabin windows could actually open, but I don't think portholes normally open, so am not sure about this image.

I do also think you could possibly drink and I would say could generally hold your drink pretty well. When you are about 26 you get a massive realization and it has to do with choices and living well. It looks like you could start eating quorn or something.

I think you will have a long term boyfriend, some people will think he's a bit of a sh*t but you like him and are comfortable with him and he will think you are both hot and amazing. I'll look at that other chart soon and see if I think it is him. The long term bf could be not that great with keeping a job and will be inclined to decide on the morning about not showing up for work or even just not going back. He's very likeable in general to people at workplaces but he is himself upset with his lot in life in terms of ease. He would like to just chill close to home then maybe deliver stuff. I think he would have been suited to being a craftsman close to home, and picking and choosing what jobs with this type of work he wanted to apply himself to and then deliver the finished goods, or pick up supplies etc. He has a very social side and he is very caring about other people, like he would never beat up old people and he would probably share his cigarettes with young kids (lol) but his heart is in the right place.

You too have fluctuating enthusiasm for work but will generally show up when you are supposed to. I think perhaps you are someone of a glamour girl, and attract attention quite easily with your good looks and mannerisms. I think you will try to stick at the safe and sensible type of work but its like slowly over your twenties the legs on your current work will start to crumble, disintegrate and break off.

The work place generally don't want to lose you and you may end up being offered a position within the same type of work to specialise, though it may involve travel/movement. Eventually to this will come to a dead halt and I don't think it is due to you but possibly a massive change within the organisation or the industry.

You may have a baby somewhere around the end of that time, and I think generally the long term partner will be very supportive and may end up being a partly,a house husband. At this time there will be a crisis, and it will probably be financial. You may plan to go back to study but again the legs on this will disintegrate, I think. You will probably work and try and manage family etc, as I think you will have at least three children.

I think in your late 30s, you will try to go into some kind of business with your partner - he is quite talented. It could even be something like a retail clothing shop or an online shop. I think from there you will diversify into other goods and imports, and then eventually you will be giving advice on stuff, like maybe feng shui, or decor things.

In your 50s you will be using systems to give readings/advice to do with something as you will have discovered something that will make it easy to provide insight to others, and the emphasis is on creating some kind of harmony within the home and within lives. I think in the 9th Harmonic I said you would be dealing with the public in a big way and be probably known as an astrologer or with a combination of disciplines. I think this will be how it is.

Basically, your journey is to make sense of the world through emotions and what feels right. You easily become an authority because you can understand the essence of things and what people need from this emotional perspective.

I think the transits of Saturn and Neptune having been unsettling for you. Saturn has just come out of the fourth house, and I have a feeling you thought you were disappointing your father - I would say that your father worries badly about you, and it doesn't feel like disappointment it feels like fear.

Anyway, its now on its way through your 5th. I think you will be still dedicating yourself to some kind of study perhaps and trying to live up to some kind of standard. The study could be with ultasounds or pathology. Ultrasounding pregnant tummies would fit.

Venus currently through your fourth sees you mending the relationships with the older people in your family - you may even be getting some urges to a renewed interest in some traditional religious practices or cultural values.

Mars in the 6th is causing a bit of drama, there is that old urge there to rebel and cause a stir, perhaps you are taking this out on people around you in your daily activities. Pluto in the 6th and having been there for a long time makes me feel like you have had some ongoing situation - asthma I think. There is a respiratory idea with it as well as something to do with the construction of your nasal passages and the type of air around you. Like you are snuffly or something, the air around you seems often to be to overly warm, kind of dry and also not enough fresh air coming in.

Neptune in the 9th has got you thinking about other cultures and maybe wanting to live there or at least be an actor in that kind of culture. You are probably right into celebrity stuff. You sort of feel like you would like to escape. Chiron in the 9th is echoing any grievances you might have with anything basically, like its saying, oh just add it to the list of my isssues with stuff.

Uranus in the 10th, has got you thinking about a whole range of possibities, its been hard to settle on anything in particular as you haven't been limiting yourself on what you might like to do with your life.

Jupiter in the 12th will see you developing more in terms of your body - like as if you are becoming curvier, and your face will become more womanly.

Initially with the guys chart, I don't feel he is the guy that I was talking about but when I look at the placements I begin to think that he is. I forget that he is kind of living under the radar, or a mushroom. I think he could be currently trying to make some big decisions and when he says that there's nothin holding you back if you want to date other people, I think what he is saying is 'Look, do you like me, because if you really like me, that might change things for what I think I might do, but I don't want to change things if there is no point'.

Yes, actually, I think it is probably him. He's in a bit of a crisis though, in this horrible time of you both contending with others people's and societal's expectations.

Hope I haven't stuffed up your life by telling you all this. Because it could just be a load of crap. Anyway, might be helpful. I haven't read it back very much so there is probably loads of grammatical errors and mistakes, and I'm not sure how it measures up with what I read on the harmonic, I just remember something about dealing with the public with a variety of disciplines, and that I think that astrology is prominent in the mix. Sounds so lame doesn't it, after all does anyone make any money out of that kind of stuff. Some people probably do, and I think you will have some kind of great technology type systems/programs as well, anyway if it is true, you will have more practical considerations for some time to come by the sounds of it.

posted October 28, 2012 06:45 AM            

I do love being near the sea. I live in Hawaii right now (and lived here a year previously) and going to the ocean is definitely something I enjoy. There's no better feeling, I feel free. Also many people have commented on my "carefree" image and approach to life (my hair is naturally curly and so has a "surfer/hippie" look to it when I don't straighten it lol) lately I've been anything but carefree but people still comment on it.

Yes, I have carried hurt from my childhood into my adult life, and there were a lot of misunderstandings but it's been difficult to work through.

It's funny that you mention "playing up" for attention because that is very literally what I did as a kid. My mom put me in pageants when I was little (I know it makes me want to vomit a little bit too lol) and I felt that my whole life was a pageant, that I had to maintain a perfect image and do things perfectly if I wanted to be loved and accepted by my parents even if inside I felt neglected or hurt

I do think this taught me I'm not supposed to show my vulnerabilities to the world, hence the "brave face" I still hide behind when things are difficult. It's also true that I have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor that I also sometimes use as a mask and way of getting through things.

I also love what you wrote about my moon in Sag 5th house because that describes perfectly how I feel and what really makes me the happiest.

Also true about the drinking. I'm relatively small in height/size but I have a high tolerance and can out drink a lot of guys without making a complete fool out of myself or getting sick. But I know that it's definitely not healthy to use as a vice and that I'll need to change it. Out of curiosity, what in my chart indicated that to you?

Honestly, the long term bf you were describing does sound a lot like this guy. He is very vocal about how he resents the expectations and demands of surviving in a capitalist society, and how he is against "the system". But he's also extremely intelligent and very talented and talks about all the ideas he has for ways he could make enough to live off of by marketing his various inventions, or find a way to make a living in a non-traditional way.. I love his passion and his mind, and I think he's quite capable of being successful at whatever he tries, but I guess only time will tell how realistic his hopes really are. He also has an extremely generous and warm heart, although he guards it sometimes excessively. And yeah when we were younger he was quite the social butterfly lol and is very good in social settings.

Your predictions about my working and family life are very interesting! and sound very realistic as well.

As for transits, yes saturn in my 4th house brought up a lot of family issues. I definitely felt at the beginning of the transit that I had "failed" once again to live up to (specifically my father's) expectations. And it's very true that he worries about me, but unfortunately the only way he expresses this is through critisism. Separating myself from the toxic effect all of this had on me was very damaging to our relationship, but we are on much more civil terms now by the end of the transit.

Pluto in the 6th has brought some strange health problems, but usually ones that disappear as quickly as they started.

Neptune/Chiron in 9th and Uranus in 10th was also very accurate. I have been immensely interested in learning about other cultures and have felt the need to travel a lot and "escape" as you said. "Global Studies" is one of my majors in school. But I've also been wanting to keep my options open and haven't settled on any concrete plans for after school yet..

Also about the guy it's very true that he is living under the radar right now, and that it has been a difficult time for both of us, something that has brought us closer.. I hope that he is really considering making me a part of his plans if what we have is worth it, because I too feel I'm approaching a crossroads in life and the next couple years will really be the time to decide if we are going to make decisions together or go our separate ways..

Anyway I also haven't read through all of my response, and I will have to go back and see what I forgot to comment on, but just wanted to say thank you so much for your time and insights. That is really amazing I really appreciate it!!