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Author
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Topic: Help please
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asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 528
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 28, 2012 12:47 PM
  
I have hit a real low recently. A friend and I had an argument and we both think we are right. He hurt my feelings a lot but he thinks that I hurt his. He is being standoffish and thinks that it is not necessary for us to talk about it at all (this is the part that concerns me the most) however, maybe I have not given him enough time to cool off or maybe it is too late.
I am super depressed about this and this is the type of situation that keeps me up at night (A TRUE NINE OF SWORDS MOMENT....I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO THAT CARD RIGHT NOW)Guys, please help... Tarot reading or just basic human advice....anything anything help
I would really appreciate it especially at this moment
IP: Logged |
Julz87
Knowflake Posts: 147
From: Houston Texas
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted October 28, 2012 01:03 PM
Try putting yourself in his shoes and him in yours, maybe if you guys analyze the situation from eachothers point of view then maybe you guys can come to really good reconciliation. Try and get everything out feeling wise. IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 528
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 28, 2012 01:10 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Julz87:
Try putting yourself in his shoes and him in yours, maybe if you guys analyze the situation from eachothers point of view then maybe you guys can come to really good reconciliation. Try and get everything out feeling wise.
I have been trying to do this but because I don't know how he truly feels about me it is difficult for me to imagine just about anything. I can though presume now that if he really is this hurt he must have had deep and caring feelings towards me then...? I think we need time and space, a good two weeks should do it. IP: Logged |
Wild Places
Knowflake Posts: 483
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted October 28, 2012 01:21 PM
Hi there,No matter the situation, everyone deals with being upset differently. You seem more on the end of the spectrum like me: when I know I've upset someone I care for and they respond in an off standish way - I kinda freak out (the older I get the better this has become) and try to
Talk because I'm afraid deep down I'll lose them or have caused irreparable damage/hurt to the relationship. This is not a good idea (and has yielded bad results which is why I anxiously give things time now), because if I talk to the person right away, I'm forcing them from their end of the spectrum which is to figure out how they feel and figure out how to articulate it (we all process soooo differently), so then it creates a different kind of tension and both of us get defensive and upset about something else. Time can heal certain wounds. Some things you'll find don't need to be discussed, or, whn you get to - it will be in retrospect and with the 20/20 vision that only hindsight can give you both. Trust your friend. Trust yourself. Get some sleep dear. With empathy and sincerest understanding,
WP IP: Logged |
Wild Places
Knowflake Posts: 483
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted October 28, 2012 01:21 PM
Hi there,No matter the situation, everyone deals with being upset differently. You seem more on the end of the spectrum like me: when I know I've upset someone I care for and they respond in an off standish way - I kinda freak out (the older I get the better this has become) and try to
Talk because I'm afraid deep down I'll lose them or have caused irreparable damage/hurt to the relationship. This is not a good idea (and has yielded bad results which is why I anxiously give things time now), because if I talk to the person right away, I'm forcing them from their end of the spectrum which is to figure out how they feel and figure out how to articulate it (we all process soooo differently), so then it creates a different kind of tension and both of us get defensive and upset about something else. Time can heal certain wounds. Some things you'll find don't need to be discussed, or, whn you get to - it will be in retrospect and with the 20/20 vision that only hindsight can give you both. Trust your friend. Trust yourself. Get some sleep dear. With empathy and sincerest understanding,
WP IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 528
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 28, 2012 01:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Wild Places:
Hi there,No matter the situation, everyone deals with being upset differently. You seem more on the end of the spectrum like me: when I know I've upset someone I care for and they respond in an off standish way - I kinda freak out (the older I get the better this has become) and try to
Talk because I'm afraid deep down I'll lose them or have caused irreparable damage/hurt to the relationship. This is not a good idea (and has yielded bad results which is why I anxiously give things time now), because if I talk to the person right away, I'm forcing them from their end of the spectrum which is to figure out how they feel and figure out how to articulate it (we all process soooo differently), so then it creates a different kind of tension and both of us get defensive and upset about something else. Time can heal certain wounds. Some things you'll find don't need to be discussed, or, whn you get to - it will be in retrospect and with the 20/20 vision that only hindsight can give you both. Trust your friend. Trust yourself. Get some sleep dear. With empathy and sincerest understanding,
WP
Dear Wild Places, Thanks so much for the support and empathy. I truly appreciate it. I believe you are right and I am just going to leave the situation alone for a little bit. Because he does not want to talk about it, it is better to not push him. I am going to give it some time. IP: Logged |
Julz87
Knowflake Posts: 147
From: Houston Texas
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted October 28, 2012 02:46 PM
I agree with WildPlaces. I think you should give it sometime.IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 528
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 28, 2012 02:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Julz87:
I agree with WildPlaces. I think you should give it sometime.
Thank you. Agreed IP: Logged |
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