posted November 19, 2012 06:42 PM            

My natal chart, as requested by Ami Anne.

Sun in Scorpio in 9th house
Sun conjunct Mercury
Sun conjunct Saturn
Sun conjunct Pluto
Sun square Ascendant
Moon in Gemini in 5th house
Moon trine Mercury
Moon square Venus
Moon square Mars
Moon opposite Jupiter
Moon opposite Neptune
Mercury in Libra in 9th house
Mercury conjunct Saturn
Mercury sextile Neptune
Mercury conjunct Pluto
Mercury square Ascendant
Venus in Virgo in 8th house
Venus conjunct Mars
Venus square Jupiter
Venus sextile Midheaven
Mars in Virgo in 8th house
Mars square Jupiter
Mars sextile Midheaven
Jupiter in Sagittarius in 11th house
Jupiter conjunct Uranus
Saturn in Scorpio in 9th house
Saturn conjunct Pluto
Saturn conjunct Midheaven
Uranus in Sagittarius in 10th house
Neptune in Sagittarius in 11th house
Pluto in Libra in 9th house
Pluto square Ascendant
Capricorn Rising/Ascendant (in 1st house)
Descendant in Cancer
Midheaven in Scorpio
Chart ruler / depositor of ascendant: Saturn

Notes and observations:
Pluto overload: Sun, Saturn and Midheaven in Scorpio; three conjunctions to Pluto; two personal planets in the 8th house.
Lots of challenging squares, including multiple squares to the Ascendant.
No "helpful" trines or sextiles between personal planets.
Venus is poorly placed (in fall in Virgo), and both Venus and Mars seem to be poorly aspected.
Multiple mutable T-squares: Moon-Venus-Jupiter, Moon-Venus-Uranus, Moon-Mars-Jupiter, Moon-Mars-Uranus.
My Saturn return started recently (2012 Oct 5), just a few weeks before my birthday.

posted November 19, 2012 07:20 PM            

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Originally posted by virgolotus:
I know someone else with Mars conj Venus in Virgo and they're absolutely captivating. Or maybe it was just my attraction to Leos I doubt it,though.

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In terms of relationships, I think Venus conjunct Mars means that we are attracted to people that act like we do, and/or we act like the people we are attracted to. Virgo is neat, clean, orderly, sensible, practical. Mars in Virgo will clean up, dress nice, be polite and modest. Venus in Virgo is looking for a freshly-scrubbed, well-dressed, polite and modest partner. Virgo is a mutable sign, and to me, that means passive. Mars in Virgo is focused and refined energy, but it's weakened and inhibited; Mars in Virgo probably isn't going to aggressively pursue and chase after a potential partner. They're going to hang around and try to gently lure someone closer, or they're going to creep closer, an inch at a time, nibbling at the edges. "I'm clean and healthy, I have my life in order and I'm sensible. Take a look here... do you like what you see? Are you interested?"

I wonder if Venus-based attraction is only skin-deep, though; I don't think anyone is going to fall in love with my clean clothes and my politeness. On the same token, I'm pretty sure that I won't fall in love on appearance alone. I want to fall in love with the person underneath the clothes. Is that my Sun in Scorpio talking? Or is it the great mess of Pluto energy in my chart?

I've had a friend or two with Sun in Leo, and a friend with Leo in Venus and Mars (although I can't remember if their Venus and Mars were conjunct). Sometimes their personalities were a little... abrasive, or simply loud, for me... but I enjoyed spending time with them because they always had a goofy story to tell (usually about themselves and they made things fun for everyone around them.

posted November 20, 2012 08:39 PM            

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Originally posted by Blackbird:
In terms of relationships, I think Venus conjunct Mars means that we are attracted to people that act like we do, and/or we act like the people we are attracted to. Virgo is neat, clean, orderly, sensible, practical. Mars in Virgo will clean up, dress nice, be polite and modest. Venus in Virgo is looking for a freshly-scrubbed, well-dressed, polite and modest partner. Virgo is a mutable sign, and to me, that means passive. Mars in Virgo is focused and refined energy, but it's weakened and inhibited; Mars in Virgo probably isn't going to aggressively pursue and chase after a potential partner. They're going to hang around and try to gently lure someone closer, or they're going to creep closer, an inch at a time, nibbling at the edges. "I'm clean and healthy, I have my life in order and I'm sensible. Take a look here... do you like what you see? Are you interested?"

I wonder if Venus-based attraction is only skin-deep, though; I don't think anyone is going to fall in love with my clean clothes and my politeness. On the same token, I'm pretty sure that I won't fall in love on appearance alone. I want to fall in love with the person underneath the clothes. Is that my Sun in Scorpio talking? Or is it the great mess of Pluto energy in my chart?

I've had a friend or two with Sun in Leo, and a friend with Leo in Venus and Mars (although I can't remember if their Venus and Mars were conjunct). Sometimes their personalities were a little... abrasive, or simply loud, for me... but I enjoyed spending time with them because they always had a goofy story to tell (usually about themselves and they made things fun for everyone around them.

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posted November 21, 2012 08:04 PM            

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Originally posted by virgolotus:
I just noticed you have the same birthday as my best friend! Hmm.. Also, I like your username.. And that song.

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If your best friend is anything like me, he/she is pleasant but reserved and at least somewhat melancholy on the outside... and a volatile, seething, tortured soul on the inside. Ask your friend how he/she is feeling. If they say 'fine', scoot closer and whisper, 'How are you really feeling?' Watch their eyes and their posture: deep sigh, slumped shoulders, a distant stare.

I've heard that Beatles song before but I didn't know the name. My username is actually a reference to the spy plane.

posted November 21, 2012 09:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Blackbird:
If your best friend is anything like me, he/she is pleasant but reserved and at least somewhat melancholy on the outside... and a volatile, seething, tortured soul on the inside. Ask your friend how he/she is feeling. If they say 'fine', scoot closer and whisper, 'How are you really feeling?' Watch their eyes and their posture: deep sigh, slumped shoulders, a distant stare.

I've heard that Beatles song before but I didn't know the name. My username is actually a reference to the spy plane.

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posted November 23, 2012 01:11 AM            

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Originally posted by virgolotus:
No need to ask, I know just by looking at her. I know my friend inside and out.. and back again. I was reading your responses to Ami in the Pluto thread and you two seem a like. I can relate as well, it's how we get along.
Never heard of the spy plane?

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I wouldn't know. I've never had a best friend before. Never had a confidante, never had any emotional support from anyone.

The SR-71 Blackbird is an American spy plane. It's the fastest (2500+ mph), highest flying (100,000+ ft) jet ever made and it's almost 40 years old. It looks like something from a sci-fi movie or some kid's imagination. Like something a Scorpio would design. It's sinister and sleek and beautiful.

posted November 24, 2012 01:12 PM            

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Originally posted by Blackbird:
I wouldn't know. I've never had a best friend before. Never had a confidante, never had any emotional support from anyone.

The SR-71 Blackbird is an American spy plane. It's the fastest (2500+ mph), highest flying (100,000+ ft) jet ever made and it's almost 40 years old. It looks like something from a sci-fi movie or some kid's imagination. Like something a Scorpio would design. It's sinister and sleek and beautiful.

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I'm sorry but that's horrible. I used to live in parania where I thought I couldn't trust in no one not even my family members.. I'm still a little iffy. But how do you except to live like that forever? Without trusting anyone.. It reminds me of the movie 'A Bronx Tale'. Anyways, I understand. Or maybe I quite don't. You seem pretty easy-going but this is through a computer screen..

posted November 24, 2012 02:34 PM            

Also, I suspect you might easily feel stifled in relationships and need space, as well as can be pretty reckless/ impulsive at times, with perhaps a quick temper?

posted November 25, 2012 01:22 AM            

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Originally posted by Haplesschild:

You're a deep one, though pretty restrained and serious right?

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Yep.

When I'm around family and friends -- some friends, anyway -- people I don't need or want anything from -- I do a little better. I relax some, let (some of) my guard down, I stop analyzing so much, and I'll let some of my feelings show. If I'm in a good mood (???), or a sarcastic mood, I'll joke around. I'll make fun of stupid things, stupid situations and ideas, and sometimes even stupid people.

This doesn't happen very often.

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You keep alot of stuff inside and you usually think before you voice certain things out.

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Yes. Before I say anything, I consider the person who is listening, and I think about how they might react to whatever I'm going to say. If I don't know how they are going to react, or I suspect they won't like what I have to say, I usually don't say anything, or I talk about something else, something harmless.

I don't do small talk. If I have to invent a conversation because I don't have anything worthwhile to say, then maybe that person isn't worth talking to, or maybe I'm not worth talking to.

I never completely relax, never completely open up. I can't trust anyone with that much of my emotions.

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Not really super lighthearted type despite the Gemini moon?

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No. Even when I'm kidding around... it's sarcastic and often cynical or bitter... I'm probably reciting stand-up comedy that has dark undercurrents, like Bill Hicks' stuff.

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You're probably attractive, or at least attract attention easily

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I don't think I look bad, but I don't think I'm attractive. I don't look very masculine. Tall and thin, narrow shoulders. I rarely smile.

I've probably received less than 5 compliments about my appearance in over a decade; I don't know if that is any kind of indicator or not. I'm... not completely invisible, but I just fade into the background. Not worth anyone's notice. I accepted this as the normal state of affairs a long time ago.

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You seem alittle detached and can be very intense, though there's that other side that can be quite jovial too.

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If you mean detached from other people, than yes. For me, the alternative is the emotional equivalent of handing people razor-sharp knives and then inviting them to practice stabbing me. So I don't give anyone any knives.

I'm very practical and realistic; I am well aware of my responsibilities and limitations. Everything is a chore or a challenge. If something is easy, or something just works out favorably without much effort, I get worried or suspicious. I'm a pessimist. I try to be prepared for problems and failures.

Intense? I've intensely experienced some very negative emotions: hatred, anguish, despair... other feelings I don't even have words for. I feel like I'm expending a lot of energy internally, suppressing those feelings and holding them back and burying them and hiding them, so I can continue functioning as a human being. Some of that effort, and some of those suppressed emotions, might leak out through my demeanor. I don't know.

Jovial? No, not really. See above.

quote:

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Also, I suspect you might easily feel stifled in relationships and need space

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I don't have enough experience with relationships to have a definite answer. In the few that I've had, I haven't felt the need or desire to keep in constant contact with my partner. I called or visited once a week, or less. Mainly I just wasn't interested.

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as well as can be pretty reckless/ impulsive at times, with perhaps a quick temper?

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I think I do a pretty good job of keeping my emotions in check. I clench my jaw, force a smile, and plan revenge for a later date. I've half-jokingly told a friend, "You've never seen me really upset. I'd probably kill somebody." He told me I was scaring him. I shrugged.

Virtually everything I do is carefully considered, and has usually been run through my internal cost/benefit analysis a dozen times. The only time I'm even remotely reckless or impulsive is on the road, and even that is still controlled to a degree. Inconsiderate drivers infuriate me. I don't harass them; I don't try to cut them off, or make rude gestures. I just move to the leftmost lane (the passing lane), stand on the accelerator and fly past them at triple-digit speeds.

Temper? What temper? :-P

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However despite the need for space, you're usually passionate and quite all or nothing with emotions.

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I guess. Are we talking about people and relationships?

posted November 25, 2012 01:43 AM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
Welcome!

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Thanks for the welcome.

posted November 25, 2012 02:02 AM            

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Originally posted by virgolotus:
I'm sorry but that's horrible.

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It might be like the poor, starving kids in third-world countries... they don't know any different. It's all I've ever known. It sucks, but I don't know how to "fix" it, so I accept it and deal with it as best I can.

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I used to live in [paranoia] where I thought I couldn't trust in no one not even my family members.. I'm still a little iffy. But how do you except to live like that forever? Without trusting anyone..

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I tried talking to my mother, and she berated me. I tried talking to my father and my friends, and their reaction usually is/was "uh... I don't know what to tell you." I don't have anyone else. What else can I do?

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It reminds me of the movie 'A Bronx Tale'.

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Never heard of it before... I'll look it up and add it to my list.

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Anyways, I understand. Or maybe I quite don't.

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No worries... no one understands, not even me. See that mess of conjunctions to Pluto in my chart, with the Midheaven in Scorpio? Yeah. That.

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You seem pretty easy-going but this is through a computer screen..

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-Takes off Capricorn-Rising mask, points at it, puts it back on, shrugs and sighs-