posted January 07, 2013 12:46 AM            

The Cancer guy I've been involved with has been completely avoiding me now that the question of commitment has come into play, and by that I mean he's completely fallen off the face of the earth.. I'm sure in a week or so he'll contact me and try to act like nothing has happened or changed but at this point I'm pretty much ready to just throw in the towel. I was fine with playing it cool for a long time but that's coming to an end and I'm actually starting to get really sick of just having flings that end up nowhere in my own love life..

So anywayyy, I met someone new. We have a lot in common, we met recently but we both went to the same school, have lived in the same random places across the country, had the same major, etc.. He's nice but not boring, mature enough to handle a serious committed relationship, the physical attraction is there..

And our composite is overall not bad, yeah? (please ignore the houses though as his birth time is unknown) We also have a very nice grand trine in synastry with his Aries Venus and Mercury, my Sag moon and Leo Jupiter (all within 2 degrees)... Maybe not as dangerously exciting as with all the squares and oppositions I have with Cancer, but maybe something that could actually be worth investing my time in and could be long lasting?

Again I'm sorry for all the reading requests but I really would appreciate any insights or comments

posted January 07, 2013 02:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by birdy:
I feel you'd get really bored with this guy. You would be on different pages if something were to develop. You would more than likely not appreciate him for who he is.

---

Out of curiosity what makes you say that?

posted January 07, 2013 02:47 PM            

Sag/saturn dont mix well. Wet blanket lol

I think lomg term you will feel like he holds you back, spiritually, mentally, emotionally etc.

posted January 07, 2013 03:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Junethird:
His saturn falls into your 5h with your moon in sag. I dont think you would like saturn to restrict and curtail your inner free spirit.

Sag/saturn dont mix well. Wet blanket lol

I think lomg term you will feel like he holds you back, spiritually, mentally, emotionally etc.

Think: bird in a golden tiny cage.

---

Haha that makes sense. I looked it up and like you said it Saturn in 5th seems pretty restrictive of creativity and self expression

Plus he'll be 29 not that long from now and we definitely haven't talked about this since we're still getting to know each other, but if he's looking to settle down with kids and marriage and all that, that wouldn't be something I'm ready for any time soon...

posted January 07, 2013 03:36 PM            

As for mr.cancer... Cancers are slow and shy. Iam cancer moon and things overwhelm me when it comes to comittment lol... I want to fall into it or atleast have the opportunity without it being forced down....geminis are mentally fickled. Cancers are just emotionally fickled.

posted January 07, 2013 04:08 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Junethird:
Fire moon, you already know what you want and your time frame... Ie: ready to live the moment but not rush to marital bliss lol.... This relationship is a nice transition to remind you that a) ypu need more time to look around or b) its time to start making adjustments for the next phase.

As for mr.cancer... Cancers are slow and shy. Iam cancer moon and things overwhelm me when it comes to comittment lol... I want to fall into it or atleast have the opportunity without it being forced down....geminis are mentally fickled. Cancers are just emotionally fickled.

Very difficult because they need constant emotional reassurance. I know iam one of them

---

You are very very right JuneThird.

As for the Cancer, I understand his being overwhelmed and fickle.. I can be that way too

But tbh I do have strong feelings for him, and maybe I am rushing it but whenever the topic of feelings between us is brought up, he is either very ambiguous, or will talk about having a long term future together, just nothing pertaining to a commitment between us now. Which is fine, I'm willing to give him all the time and space he needs, but I need to actually hear from him that this is something he wants too, and that he will (when he's ready) cut off emotional ties with anyone else he's been seeing, as I would definitely do for him.

I'd like to have that conversation in person and in the least confrontational way possible so that he doesn't feel cornered, but it bothers me that after spending about 5 months in a different state he's only "had time" to see me once since I've been back home when I know he has no school/work right now, and he's also going on a road trip with friends, one of whom he has/ probably still is sleeping with. And on top of that I've tried texting him to see when he would be available but now he is literally ignoring me so I have no idea how long I'll have to wait just talk about all of this.. And it's driving me a little bit crazy lol

So I'm just feeling frustrated with him basically calling all the shots, and I really don't want to be in the same situation a year from now just sitting around waiting for him to be ready or wondering what he really wants, meanwhile making myself unavailable to everyone else. So I thought it would be good to maybe date someone else for the time being and I like that this guy is mature and actually available, and could offer stability in my love life that hasn't been there in a long time. But you're right, it's not fair to him or myself to let something develop knowing that we would ultimately want different things or be on different pages...

posted January 07, 2013 04:42 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by FireMoon:
You are very very right JuneThird.

As for the Cancer, I understand his being overwhelmed and fickle.. I can be that way too

But tbh I do have strong feelings for him, and maybe I am rushing it but whenever the topic of feelings between us is brought up, he is either very ambiguous, or will talk about having a long term future together, just nothing pertaining to a commitment between us now. Which is fine, I'm willing to give him all the time and space he needs, but I need to actually hear from him that this is something he wants too, and that he will (when he's ready) cut off emotional ties with anyone else he's been seeing, as I would definitely do for him.

I'd like to have that conversation in person and in the least confrontational way possible so that he doesn't feel cornered, but it bothers me that after spending about 5 months in a different state he's only "had time" to see me once since I've been back home when I know he has no school/work right now, and he's also going on a road trip with friends, one of whom he has/ probably still is sleeping with. And on top of that I've tried texting him to see when he would be available but now he is literally ignoring me so I have no idea how long I'll have to wait just talk about all of this.. And it's driving me a little bit crazy lol

So I'm just feeling frustrated with him basically calling all the shots, and I really don't want to be in the same situation a year from now just sitting around waiting for him to be ready or wondering what he really wants, meanwhile making myself unavailable to everyone else. So I thought it would be good to maybe date someone else for the time being and I like that this guy is mature and actually available, and could offer stability in my love life that hasn't been there in a long time. But you're right, it's not fair to him or myself to let something develop knowing that we would ultimately want different things or be on different pages...

Ahh sorry for rambling as usual, it is nice to vent though, thanks for your responses

---

posted January 07, 2013 05:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Junethird:
Been there done that. If you want cancer sacrifice and go into unkown waiting mode. Be supportive of his need for space and time alone.

---

I know you're right, the more I over think it the more I will just sabotage the situation. It's just that whatever it is that we have has been going on for over 4 years now, and I feel like the entire time has been unknown waiting mode. Don't know how much longer I can do it But I guess we'll see..

posted January 07, 2013 05:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Junethird:
Cancers are slow... The inconsistancy is a drawback enjoy the time you spend with him and keep busy the times you dont see him.

---