posted March 08, 2013 07:47 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by elixir:
does he have a lot of water in his chart?

---

posted March 08, 2013 07:55 PM            

I get that Kathy is a bossy one or that she overpowers you. It is nothing that she is out to get you but that it is her general character flaw. She I feel has always been like this to lots of people. Deep down I think it is because either people enabled her or that she herself was victimized/criticized and so she developed this hard shell. She doesnt have any bad will toward you on the contrary she is impressed or proud of you.

I feel that around her you are intimidated? again she harbors no ill will toward you. She is just a dominating and cranky personality type. She doesnt know how to express herself in a manner that would better suit you. lol

you: tower reversed.
how you view kathy: three of swords
what you feel for kathy: knight of swords reversed
how kathy views you: seven of coins
what she feels about you: king of cups
obstacle: queen of cups
challenge: queen of staves reversed

posted March 08, 2013 07:56 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by elixir:
yeah she has a boyfriend who treats her like **** and she tries to keep the relationship hidden from us because we tell her she should have more self-respect. also everyone tell me that she uses me to make herself feel better. she always compares herself to me. shes always been jealous of me. when i told her i was quitting my job she smiled because it was more prestigious than hers and she would be on top again. she makes it into a competition when it doesnt have to be.

---

She probably has low self esteem. That is why she lets herself into that situation. I think that you should definitely take a break from being her doormat. After the break work on helping her be self reliant. Dont do that just yet. First take care of yourself; you cant be of any use to someone when broken and hurting.

Also...if she has your support and everyone else cushing her from teh direct blows of this guy...she will not drop him sooner. Let her be with him. Yeah it hurts but let her get to know the real him that you see...When she isnt wasting her energies hiding, fighting for or defending him...agaisnt you guys..she will not be distracted from what a horrible guy he is. In fighting to defend her bf to you guys she is getting distracted and is changing the story in her head of her r/s with him.

Just move out of the way for a bit. When she gets burned she will come back and have you guys to comfort her. But she needs to feel this deeply and a couple times. The first time she gets upset dont let her talk it out with you. Let her do her own self reflection and feel the pain etc.

posted March 08, 2013 08:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by elixir:
i guess i just feel hurt about the way they have treated me all these years. ive sort of been the one at the bottom they stomped on but at the same time they love me. they dont realize how they treat me. thats whats so twisted. and with julia, the thing is she knows i struggled with huge depression but i dont think she wants me to get over it because she doesnt want me to be happier than her. i realize though that a lot of the power it has over me is only because i dwell on it in my mind.

---

...you know I relate a lot to that.

I had issues with ones I loved and would do anything for. I felt unappreciated and stomped on. I couldnt even tell them they would complain that I was complaining. lol

But I ended up ruminating on it, remembering it over and over again. And every time they do something anything against me...ALL of the past comes up in my emotions. It hurts. I remember it all in too much detail.

I feel like I need vindication or justice..

But in the end, I havent gotten it, even if I pasted it on a banner in front of the house. I have told them directly. They get mad at me for holding onto the past. Even worse is they swipe it away like it was so minor, unaccountable or absurd. I think they dont like knowing what they did so they try to erase the past by pretneding that never happened. Lame.

But yeah, I think that justice is not up to us. In the end we get our own karma. They hurt us its ok. We can move on and other people outside our family will love us like we need. That hole in our hearts will one day be lessened and repaired. I do believe that.

posted March 09, 2013 02:54 PM            

Life can be beautiful or really horrible...but most likely both. hehe