posted July 02, 2013 01:18 AM            

Will still take 10-12 hours till I have them.

posted July 02, 2013 04:30 PM            

Ace of cups crossed by the page of cups
Knight of pents above
2 wands below
9swords on the left
10 pents on the right
7 wands - king of pents - wheel - hanged man

All I can feel is god did this to you out of extreme love he feels for you. It's almost like a divine interference. You're feeling left to your own devices and extremely scared of uncertainty and being literally thrown about by all sorts of waves like a tiny boat. This has indeed been keeping you awake at night, or maybe it's what you feel even when you sleep, you know the kinda dreams in which you can't forget your current fears (like dreaming you missed a train the night before catching it, know what I mean, this restlessness). You might require support on the part of people who care about you. Maybe you could stay somewhere without paying rent due to someone's gesture of good will or maybe someone will arrange for you to get paid for something you're good at (might be related to writing, but most prob not this publishing/ editing industry). Your progress is going to be slow. But with the knight of pents it's also going to be promising. You have your degree, you have your skills and your talents. You're on a good track. Just let things work themselves out. Kinda passive aggressive. "it's in your reach, concentrate" (c) Something good enough will turn up. Not right away, but it will.

posted July 02, 2013 05:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by andstuff:
Hey I thought a CC calls for a CC

Ace of cups crossed by the page of cups
Knight of pents above
2 wands below
9swords on the left
10 pents on the right
7 wands - king of pents - wheel - hanged man

All I can feel is god did this to you out of extreme love he feels for you. It's almost like a divine interference. You're feeling left to your own devices and extremely scared of uncertainty and being literally thrown about by all sorts of waves like a tiny boat. This has indeed been keeping you awake at night, or maybe it's what you feel even when you sleep, you know the kinda dreams in which you can't forget your current fears (like dreaming you missed a train the night before catching it, know what I mean, this restlessness). You might require support on the part of people who care about you. Maybe you could stay somewhere without paying rent due to someone's gesture of good will or maybe someone will arrange for you to get paid for something you're good at (might be related to writing, but most prob not this publishing/ editing industry). Your progress is going to be slow. But with the knight of pents it's also going to be promising. You have your degree, you have your skills and your talents. You're on a good track. Just let things work themselves out. Kinda passive aggressive. "it's in your reach, concentrate" (c) Something good enough will turn up. Not right away, but it will.

I hope it might have been of some use or other. Wishing you every bit of luck, you do have the power to drag yourself through this. I can see no humiliation, no hopelessness, none of this. I can't put my finger on timing but the knight of pents is Virgo, so maybe things will brighten up towards September or thereabouts.

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This was really amazing, thank you. Honestly. I've been wrestling with grief and not being upset, because it did feel like divine intervention. I mean, I was on an approved hire list, and then... bam. They changed the system overnight and farmed jobs out to TA's instead. It was unreal.

But this is promising; I wish it were sooner rather than later. I really need to get financially solvent and on my feet again. I WANT to be those things again, which I was before graduate school. And fun fact? I went to grad school for Creative Writing You're right though. Faith, faith, and just surrender. Thank you, and I mean that. This was just... the shot in the arm I needed to know the Big Man was behind me. I had a suspicion, but sometimes doubt creeps in and drowns out most sounds.

posted July 03, 2013 01:07 AM            

You mentioned you did creative writing previously btw.

I wonder if I have a question... Can you see anyone blowing my mind enough so I fall in love soonish?

posted July 04, 2013 05:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beccathelion:
sure thing! i'll get to it as soon as i get home tonight, if that's okay?

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posted July 04, 2013 04:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by andstuff:
Someone still loves me, that's why. And I can't go back to him under the circumstances. All I do is feel sad I can't have it like it was with him. And all I see is worthless losers going after me, because everyone seems so random and alien

Why did you say cold and weird, btw? I don't want anything cold

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Well, I think there's definitely where the change and growth is going to come in. We always rate our new mates by our ex's... or at least I have. Especially when it ends in a way that wasn't our idea. I didn't mean cold and weird in a bad way. When I tried to focus and ask about a time, I got the same feeling I personally get around the holidays. I lived in a really cold region growing up, and I worked holidays in retail for the longest time... so that's why I got that feeling.