posted August 30, 2013 03:19 AM            

To try and sum up a decade let me just give the highlights..
My husband cheated with my best friend years ago. I decided to stay with him bc we had 3 children together. Then in 2006 he got into another relationship with a girl. I didn't find out about it for about a year. I went away on vacation to a spot about 4 hours and a ferry ride from my home. Once there I called the hubby to see if he would come there and maybe a romantic weekend could mend things. He said no. He was spending the weekend with her (he didn't tell me that part then, he told me later).
So while on that trip I had a wild, drunken fling with the man who my friends bought along on the vacation to try and fix me up with! OK, so this man is 15 yrs younger than me, and I thought whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and we would go home to our own lives. But it didn't work out that way. We fell for each other, and we fell hard.
OK, fast forward to 2011... my marriage was at such a state that I felt the best to do was to leave, so I did. But I moved into a trailer less than a half a mile away from my husbands house. I did that so my kids could easily go back and forth between us.
I didn't realize how awkward it was going to make it between my boyfriend and myself.
I was stressed all the time bc my hubby was either on his way over, or just leaving, or on the phone.. etc etc
In June I had an accident and broke my foot.
I had no way to pay my July rent and neither my hubby or my BF had the money to lend me. I was unemployed and having a hard time getting crutches while limping and using a crutch. In a weak moment I decided to move back with the hubby so that I would have someone to take care of me.
A month later I got pancreatitis and I was sick with that and some other things for a long time.
When it all started clearing up I realized that nothing changed at home, and I missed my BF so much. My hubby was caught a couple times by my daughter and my friend acting very flirty and suspicious with 2 or 3 women. I know he will never change. So for the last month or two I have been discussing with the BF whether to try it again as a couple.
This time I would live where he lives, which is like 30 min. away from hubby and all that.

I'm terrified. Not only of my hubby's reaction and my standing with the family, but also of general well-being things. My BF has a steady job but he doesn't make very much money. I don't have a car (hubby sold that when I moved back in) so getting a job is going to be interesting. His place is super small and sparse. No internet or anything that I would consider to be just normal to have.
I want to know if my BF is serious about wanting a future together or if he is just like, "meh, could be fun.." cause he is soooo laid back in many ways. Anything you good folks could tell me would do nothing but help. So I hope someone will read my story and give me a few words of wisdom!

Mine: Dec. 6, 1966 2:40 pm. Elizabethtown, KY

Boyfriend: Oct. 31, 1981 10:49 pm. Hastings, VA

Hubby: Dec. 28, 1966 4:59 pm. Dayton, Oh

posted August 30, 2013 03:58 PM            

1- knight of swords
2- Tower
3- ace of cups
4- 3 of swords
5- Queen of Cups
6- ace of pents
7- Priestess
8- page of swords

All in all I think he is serious about you moving in and moving forward. I take it you took him a bit by surprise when you two met and turned his world a bit upside down by moving back. You have 2 aces here which is a big plus. He is literally overflowing with emotion (the cup) but I think he keeps his emotions hidden very well and shows tries to show you that he can provide for you. He sees the difficult position you are in and wants to help. I don't see him having a specific aim in his relationship with you, just that he feels strongly tied to you and wants to see where it goes.

posted August 30, 2013 03:59 PM            

The World
The Magician
The High Priestess
Queen of Pentacles
2 of Swords

You aren't kidding when you call it a crossroads. The first 3 cards are major cards; they show up when we have an important lesson to learn to either pay a karmic debt or move on in our karmic growth. Your spread is 60% majors. That should tell you something. Not only that, all three are about self-empowerment, self-trust, and choice.

How I read a 5 card spread is that the center card (the High Priestess) is the anchor, the center point of the situation. The 2 cards to the left are what's fading away; the 2 on the right is what's coming to prominence.

In the past, in regards to this man, we have the World and Magician. The World is a great card; it means literally everything is at your feet: a fresh start, a culmination of hard work, generally a reward (it the last major in the deck.) The world, in the context of this card, is literally your oyster. Add the Magician, and you have a recipe for success. The Magician is a man who can control his environment by using all of his tools: his heart, his mind, his work ethic, and his passion. He's tapped into the world around him and his own personal power. However, this is what's starting to fade away... which based on your story doesn't surprise me. You doubted yourself and went back. Enter in the High Priestess. She's often considered the Pope's counterpart. Her message is about intuition and trust, listening to the voice and spirituality inside one's self. She is all religions; she is all elements and points of view. She relies only on herself and the divine power inside her and above her (the Universe, God) to help make decisions and keep a balanced, collected mind. This situation, in turn, is now requiring you to make a choice: that's the lesson that's to be learned here. Learning to trust your gut and stick with it.

The Queen of Pentacles is a woman who loves to take care of and provide for others. She's the providential earth mother. Very solid, very secure and sweet. For some reason, whenever I see her, I think of pumpkin pie, warm and out of the oven. Couldn't tell you why. However, she also wants to be secure financially and domestically. She wants to be taken care of just as she takes care of -- but in a financial way. This plus the 2 of Swords, which is quite literally a card about making a choice, tells me that yes, you're wrestling with leaving primarily because of finance. You like having things. Moving in with your BF would seemingly cause you to lose some of the luxuries you've become accustomed to.

For me, this spread is asking you to re-evaluate what's important in your life. Tap back into your inner self, your feelings and values, and really map out what is going to be the best for you emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. The Moon often represents emotion in tarot. The High Priestess has the moon at her feet. She is relying on her gut. Not her fear, not her passions. Just her own truth that lives inside of her. All great gifts and great opportunities come with great sacrifice; it's just the yin and yang of the Universe. Weigh what you're willing to give up against what you're willing to take, both physically and karmically.

posted August 31, 2013 02:25 PM            

thank you ladies for your replies, I think you are both gifted tarot readers. The message you bear about self-reliance is pretty timely as my NN is in Taurus. All my life has been spent living in the blurry boundary world of my Scorpio SN. I just feel at a disadvantage since I've devoted so much time and effort to keep a family going and now I am the one who walks away with nothing. But in a way, it is also exciting because if I can pull this off there won't be anything I cannot do.