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Author
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Topic: I can't understand my boyfriend..He's driving me crazy !
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SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 12:13 PM
  
My boyfriend seems to run hot and cold with me.
One minute he is so affectionate, romantic and loving, the next he is super quiet, distant and aloof.I confronted him about this last time. He said that it wasn't about me or anything that I do or say, it's all personal. A week ago, he sent me a text in which he said that although he loves he is not sure if he want to be with me. It hurt me when I read it. the words pierced me right through the heart. I'm getting more and more attached to him but I'm not sure if he is feeling the same. I thought that was it but a few hours later he called me, he was drunk and crying. He begged me to forgive him and to forget that he ever sent me that text. he was pleading me to stay with him because he can't imagine his life without me in it. I had enough of it and I finally decided to take a stand, I asked him to meet me and once we did, I told him if he wants to end it, I'm okay with that and that I can't stand this hot and cold behavior of his anymore. Now what surprises is that he actually got ANGRY ! He said that I should never say that again and that he can't imagine me being with another man. I'm going crazy here !! I just can't figure him out ! What does he exactly want from me ?! Why does our relationship feel like a fricking emotional roller coaster !! Here's is our synastry : I'm on the inside ( in blue)  Here's our Composite :  Can someone please shed some light into this  ? I'm already losing it ! IP: Logged |
happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 608
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 12:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by SilverFeather:
Now what surprises is that he actually got ANGRY ! He said that I should never say that again and that he can't imagine me being with another man.
So he's more concerned about you moving on and being with someone else than he is with living his life without you? Hmmm. Honestly sister, regardless of charts I'm telling you straight up this dude is revealing some abusive tendencies. How long have you been together? I'd cut him loose, and fast. IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 02, 2013 01:36 PM
Does he have a moon-chiron conjunction?IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 01:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by happyaskings:
So he's more concerned about you moving on and being with someone else than he is with living his life without you? Hmmm. Honestly sister, regardless of charts I'm telling you straight up this dude is revealing some abusive tendencies. How long have you been together? I'd cut him loose, and fast.
I appreciate your concern sweetie but I can assure you he is not the abusive sort, I wouldn't have stayed with him if he was. He has a Moon-Venus and a Venus-Saturn Squares in his natal and he has been greatly hurt before by both of his exes. He has some self-esteem issues and his past painful experiences kind of messed him up. IP: Logged |
Love&Light
Knowflake Posts: 909
From: India
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted October 02, 2013 01:59 PM
I don't know about the synastry but I think you can wait and watch if you are very young and really interested in him and then move on if things don't improve for sometime.IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 02:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by redshoes:
Does he have a moon-chiron conjunction?
Yes, he does. The conjunction is right smack on his Ascendant. Here is his natal :  IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 02, 2013 03:06 PM
That is very tricky one. you can read about it, women issues, sadlyAlso all that Fire and Moon in Virgo, doesnt really make for a man that will commit easily Are you sure you wouldnt be better served to let him go? Sorry lady IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 02, 2013 03:07 PM
Found thisEmotionally wounded. Profound sensitivity. Wounded women. A wounded mother. Needing or giving emotional healing. Damaged sense of mothering. Damaged relationship to self-care. Holistic approach to emotional healing. Painful emotions. Painful female relationships. Emotionally vulnerable. Painfully sensitive to other people’s feelings. Painfully sensitive to your mother’s feelings. Emotionally traumatized. IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 03:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by redshoes:
That is very tricky one. you can read about it, women issues, sadlyAlso all that Fire and Moon in Virgo, doesnt really make for a man that will commit easily Are you sure you wouldnt be better served to let him go? Sorry lady
I know that it's best for us to go our separate ways bu I'm afraid I will regret it. Our issue is not commitment, we're both capable of it. what is making this relationship hard is his own personal issues, he hasn't overcome them yet and this seems to affect our relationship greatly. I'm not sure if he will over get over them and I'm not sure if I could wait until he does at the same time, I find so difficult to break up with him, the idea terrifies me. IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 02, 2013 03:22 PM
I think maybe it would be wise for him to go get some healing...i am facing a similar situation with an ex (mother issues) and i have let him go asking him to heal his issues before he contacts me again.Maybe you say the same to him...? Do you really want to be dragged down by someone elses baggage? Edit to add ~~ sadly, in my experience men rarely change and are very slow to go get help (none of my exs did). so you may bear that in mind IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 02, 2013 03:25 PM
Re the matter of being terrified to end it...soften the blow to both of you by suggesting some healing time out..say 3 months or so and then see how it goes.You dont have to CUT it now...gently does it  IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 03:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by redshoes:
I think maybe it would be wise for him to go get some healing...i am facing a similar situation with an ex (mother issues) and i have let him go asking him to heal his issues before he contacts me again.Maybe you say the same to him...? Do you really want to be dragged down by someone elses baggage? Edit to add ~~ sadly, in my experience men rarely change and are very slow to go get help (none of my exs did). so you may bear that in mind
I know what you're coming from and understand that what you did what the right thing however as his girlfriend, shouldn't I stand by his side and be there for him so he can heal ?
I think if I leave now, it will only make things worse for him. IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 02, 2013 04:20 PM
Well yes of course...but where do you draw the line? I was with my ex for 5years...he never healed his problems and i suffered through them. He kept saying he would change and also promised to go for therapy and never did. I became more and more drained and would have got sick had i have stayed in the unhealthy r/ship. You know sometimes the only way we get to heal is by being alone?It is up to you of course  IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 02, 2013 04:28 PM
Btw Silver, if it helps, it took me a good long time to come to where i am now. I felt so weighed down and exhausted by the same old same old and after lots of thought (and therapy) i realised this guy isn't going to change. Men with mother/women issues rarely make strides to heal this.Maybe you start with time apart and if he is serious about you he will go get help. Just stress to him that you cannot carry on the way things are, but prepared to give him time to heal Fair enough? IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 04:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by redshoes:
Btw Silver, if it helps, it took me a good long time to come to where i am now. I felt so weighed down and exhausted by the same old same old and after lots of thought (and therapy) i realised this guy isn't going to change. Men with mother/women issues rarely make strides to heal this.Maybe you start with time apart and if he is serious about you he will go get help. Just stress to him that you cannot carry on the way things are, but prepared to give him time to heal Fair enough?
yes it is. Thanks Red for hearing me out  IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 05:10 PM
Can't anyone look at our relationship from an astrological perspective ?IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 2074
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 02, 2013 05:56 PM
Astrologically he has one of the most difficult charts I have ever seen. Which means of course that he will struggle, internally, a lot and needs a partner that will give him his alone time to figure **** out and stick with him when things are tough. I agree with Redshoes that men usually don't seek therapy, I blame society. For one guy in particular that I know and has issues I suggested yoga. I think many people find yoga to be relaxing especially types like vinyasa. It's helped me (haven't been keeping up with it in the last couple of weeks and I regret it). For some just straight meditation works. I asked a friend and she said that moving around tends to make her anxious and angrier if she's already upset/stressed, blood flow= blood rising= temper rising, type of thing. So for her just trying to meditate helps. Also living at home with the person causing your issues doesn't help. In the synastry are the orbs smaller? or is this straight up what it looks like? Ok so his moon falls in your 12, which is in his 12. A guy and I have this in synastry (not sure what house his is in, unknown birth time)and what I've told him, which I think I may have come to associate with this placement is that he is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me because he makes me face **** I don't want to face. This also is a difficult synastry because just about all your conjunctions are squared. Conjuncts amplify everything, the good and the bad. So like Mercury (his) conjunct your Pluto. Intense. You can probe deep into each others thoughts and analyze them to get the answers, BUT squared by Saturn and this becomes a stifling mess. Like I love that you can get so deep in my head and intuitively know things about me but it feels like I can't breathe because even my head is not a safe haven. This is only echoed by his own Saturn falling into that square. There's too much intense without enough flow. I assume you guys are born within days of each other? I never like these relationships because it's too much like dating yourself. This is not an easy relationship. It's painful and full of struggle and will not get better for years to come. Moon sextile mars and moon sextile Jupiter are super pleasant aspects. They make sex more bonding (blend of emotion and sex) and allow you both to feel happier together, but with everything else it feels like you're suffocating and need to space to breathe. Those two aspects alone are not enough to override the difficulty of the other ones. He's probably dating you because you feel so much like his mother/home to him. If that isn't a pleasant environment then it's not necessarily a good thing. This is fairly general, I can come back later and look at it in more detail if you want. IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 02, 2013 06:02 PM
He's probably dating you because you feel so much like his mother/home to him
Woooah this made me very nervous (deja vu)
RUN! IP: Logged |
Love&Light
Knowflake Posts: 909
From: India
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted October 02, 2013 10:02 PM
Sorry for butting in but I just felt like adding this. In most of the relationships communication is the big issue. So ADDRESS it. Talk to him regarding this properly and give him a direction to work towards and a period to do it in. Set a frame. You know men like something tangible to work with. So give it a try that way. And explain these factors of astrological significance like moon chiron. Does he listen about astro or does he like to listen to things that interest you? If yes then go ahead and tell him. It will help him to accept certain things. It is my own experience that in life if you know your limitations you can do much better. Because you can accept certain things specially drawbacks, draw a line and pick up from there. Even if you move on later you would have done a great service to him. Psychological handicaps, like the physical ones, are better accepted than just struggling endlessly against them. It can lead to further depression if not taken in a stride. So first accepting and then either healing or living with it graciously. Tell him all this but watch how you do it.IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 03, 2013 05:54 AM
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
This is fairly general, I can come back later and look at it in more detail if you want.
Thank you so much littlecloud for your insight Of course if you have the time, I would love to know more.
Thanks again. IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 03, 2013 05:59 AM
quote:
Originally posted by redshoes:
He's probably dating you because you feel so much like his mother/home to him
Woooah this made me very nervous (deja vu)
RUN!
He talked about his mother on few occasions and he seems to hold a great respect for her. He really looks up to her a lot but truth to be told, I'm nothing like his mom. He told me that the very first time he saw me, he liked my charisma and my confident/classy vibe that's why he asked about me and got my number from my best friend. He was shy at first and took things slowly because he didn't want to come on too strong and scare me away. IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 03, 2013 06:12 AM
The guy i just broke up with has great respect for his mother too ~ he also has mother issues which came between us big timeThe moon-chiron aspect is the wounded mother Just saying? IP: Logged |
redshoes
Knowflake Posts: 721
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted October 03, 2013 06:14 AM
Silver Just a suggestion ~ did you get any readings done about him? Might help? IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 03, 2013 06:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by redshoes:
Silver Just a suggestion ~ did you get any readings done about him? Might help?
I did. Elixi has done few for me.
There were a lot of swords in the reading, along with a reversed Moon.
Nine of cups and Ace of cups were a repetitive theme too. IP: Logged |
SilverFeather
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 03, 2013 06:45 AM
Here are the cards that Elixi pulled for me :
You:queen of swords
Him:the chariot How he feels about you:five of swords How he thinks about you:ten of swords What he keeps from you:queen of cups What he reveals to you: death What he wants from this relationship : Page of wands How your relationship will evolve: ace of cups
IP: Logged |
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