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Author Topic:   Love of my Life? Is he coming back?
Astrid
Knowflake

Posts: 87
From:
Registered: Oct 2013

posted October 19, 2013 05:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astrid     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I met this guy. We only met a few times in private. He was married... We seem to be the perfect couple - the perfect once for both of us. If he wasn't married, I believe we would had been together still today. Our synastry chart is amazing with 3 of those top indicators for marriage, and one saying that it really takes something almost not earthly to seperate us if we ever got together.

My chart: http://s955.photobucket.com/user/AstAstro/media/Nat-SIMPLE_zpseffada15.gif.html
His chart: http://s955.photobucket.com/user/AstAstro/media/NatProg_zpsbfa0e568.gif.html

Do you see anything interesting any connections between the two? Do you think he might be coming back?

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Haplesschild*
Knowflake

Posts: 1164
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted October 19, 2013 05:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Haplesschild*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He's a married man who wanted you as the thing on the side. It's the typical story and he might have had a good marriage but was too selfish and wanted variety and attention so he cheats. If he wanted you, he'd be with you. It's as easy as that. Sorry

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Astrid
Knowflake

Posts: 87
From:
Registered: Oct 2013

posted October 19, 2013 06:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astrid     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
He's a married man who wanted you as the thing on the side. It's the typical story and he might have had a good marriage but was too selfish and wanted variety and attention so he cheats. If he wanted you, he'd be with you. It's as easy as that. Sorry


Thanx. But that sux! I really hoped to hear the opposite, but wouldn't everyone in my position(?). What do you base your statement on?

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ProudLeo
Knowflake

Posts: 178
From: Aubrey, Texas, 76227
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 20, 2013 04:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ProudLeo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am "the wife". My husband had an affair with a woman at work. We had a good marriage...but we had a baby and another on the way...I was tired a lot and focused on children and home...he wasn't getting the "attention" he was used to and felt a lot of "pressure" ...well, such is life but apparently his outlet was to engage in an affair. She was single, without kids, younger, and exciting...it was like a other life when he was with her...responsibility free. I read the emails...they were "soooo in love" and the emails were full of fabrications, stretches of the truth and full out lies to this woman. He was playing a fantasy roll and he was in love with the excitement and freshness it brought him. I actually felt more sorry for the woman than I did myself (even being fairly young at 26 and pregnant and having a 2 year old). To be so weak and gullible like her...I would hate that worse than being lied to and lied about. I called the woman and told her she could have my husband...."come pick him up...I'm keeping the car because I have children...and he also has another ex wife and a son which he pays 23% of his income for...he will give me about 30% for our two and he has to pay to have them all covered in insursnce...so you will probably have to help him financially as well as take him to work and let him stay with you while he tried to save up for a car and a place to live." She said "that's not my responsibility"....oh, we'll I'm sorry because I thought "love" knows no boundaries like you said in one of your emails trying to orchestrate my husband leaving his family for you...but now when reality sets in you don't want him? That's funny. Well to be honest, that's the smartest thing I've seen/heard you say because 90% of what he told you was lies just to keep you going and get what he wanted from you...sex, devotion. Admiration, and excitement. She didnt like that too much but she kept calling my husband at work...even using the "I'm pregnant tactic"...such s desperate, needy woman. 6 years later and my husband and I are still together....although I think now that I should have left him then. But the fact of the matter is that each person has their choices to make...despite transits or charts etc. we still have choices. Now, I was willing to let him go if by some small chance he had found "true love" but it was obvious by her self righteous, I want, give me, I deserve attitude that she had no idea what love was...and I pitied her..and him. Today I really do wish he had found true love and ran off into the sunset with this woman...then maybe I might find my "true love"...if that even exists. We made our choices based in responsibility and commitment...that's what most people will do despite some exciting romp in the sack. My husband lied to this woman to get what he wanted...most likely this man did too. Also, it sounds to me like you do a lot more trying to figure life out, predict it, manipulate it, define it, analyze it etc....instead of actually living it, learning, and growing. You're going to drive yourself to the nut house if you don't change your strategy...if you aren't already half way there....because you sound a lot like you've taken a turn in that direction. Astrology is meant to be help us learn the areas that we can develop ourselves and overcome obstacles...not map out every move...that's a cop out. Stop expecting something else to put your life into motion and give you what you want...and start learning how to run your own life effectively. Starting with the lesson that married men are in the swells of their life choices and they need to deal with those before they would be able to offer anyone a committed relationship. Don't expect anyone to leave their life commitments behind for you....it is bith selfish and niave...even if they say they will because a) they are probably lieing to get t
What they want and b) if he really would, is that the kind of person you want to be with....someone who can just drop commitments and responsibilities on a whim or at such haste? I think you are using your brain power (you are obviously articulate and intelligent) in all the wrong places.

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Haplesschild*
Knowflake

Posts: 1164
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted October 20, 2013 04:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Haplesschild*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ProudLeo:
I am "the wife". My husband had an affair with a woman at work. We had a good marriage...but we had a baby and another on the way...I was tired a lot and focused on children and home...he wasn't getting the "attention" he was used to and felt a lot of "pressure" ...well, such is life but apparently his outlet was to engage in an affair. She was single, without kids, younger, and exciting...it was like a other life when he was with her...responsibility free. I read the emails...they were "soooo in love" and the emails were full of fabrications, stretches of the truth and full out lies to this woman. He was playing a fantasy roll and he was in love with the excitement and freshness it brought him. I actually felt more sorry for the woman than I did myself (even being fairly young at 26 and pregnant and having a 2 year old). To be so weak and gullible like her...I would hate that worse than being lied to and lied about. I called the woman and told her she could have my husband...."come pick him up...I'm keeping the car because I have children...and he also has another ex wife and a son which he pays 23% of his income for...he will give me about 30% for our two and he has to pay to have them all covered in insursnce...so you will probably have to help him financially as well as take him to work and let him stay with you while he tried to save up for a car and a place to live." She said "that's not my responsibility"....oh, we'll I'm sorry because I thought "love" knows no boundaries like you said in one of your emails trying to orchestrate my husband leaving his family for you...but now when reality sets in you don't want him? That's funny. Well to be honest, that's the smartest thing I've seen/heard you say because 90% of what he told you was lies just to keep you going and get what he wanted from you...sex, devotion. Admiration, and excitement. She didnt like that too much but she kept calling my husband at work...even using the "I'm pregnant tactic"...such s desperate, needy woman. 6 years later and my husband and I are still together....although I think now that I should have left him then. But the fact of the matter is that each person has their choices to make...despite transits or charts etc. we still have choices. Now, I was willing to let him go if by some small chance he had found "true love" but it was obvious by her self righteous, I want, give me, I deserve attitude that she had no idea what love was...and I pitied her..and him. Today I really do wish he had found true love and ran off into the sunset with this woman...then maybe I might find my "true love"...if that even exists. We made our choices based in responsibility and commitment...that's what most people will do despite some exciting romp in the sack. My husband lied to this woman to get what he wanted...most likely this man did too. Also, it sounds to me like you do a lot more trying to figure life out, predict it, manipulate it, define it, analyze it etc....instead of actually living it, learning, and growing. You're going to drive yourself to the nut house if you don't change your strategy...if you aren't already half way there....because you sound a lot like you've taken a turn in that direction. Astrology is meant to be help us learn the areas that we can develop ourselves and overcome obstacles...not map out every move...that's a cop out. Stop expecting something else to put your life into motion and give you what you want...and start learning how to run your own life effectively. Starting with the lesson that married men are in the swells of their life choices and they need to deal with those before they would be able to offer anyone a committed relationship. Don't expect anyone to leave their life commitments behind for you....it is bith selfish and niave...even if they say they will because a) they are probably lieing to get t
What they want and b) if he really would, is that the kind of person you want to be with....someone who can just drop commitments and responsibilities on a whim or at such haste? I think you are using your brain power (you are obviously articulate and intelligent) in all the wrong places.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Hope things are better for you now hun. Although personally I would have divorced the guy, I know it's easier said than done, since you have a kid.

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Haplesschild*
Knowflake

Posts: 1164
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted October 20, 2013 05:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Haplesschild*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Astrid:

Thanx. But that sux! I really hoped to hear the opposite, but wouldn't everyone in my position(?). What do you base your statement on? Is it that Venus conunct Sun are affairs, though it also means "meeting the love of your life"? And that my Mars conjunct Jupiter is being with a married man? But still my Jupiter is also in my 7th house of marriage... but his sun is on romantic house no 5.

Do you have an idea of what all the transits/progressions for next week can be about then? A lot of "MC" and a lot of Saturn in 12th and Saturn as in 7th house ruler?


I base what I said through what I see around me, the fact that I got cheated on (though I treated the guy great and gave him space, attention, stimulation in all senses). People who cheat are generally selfish and they lack empathy. They don't think too much about how it'd affect others, they just do because they're thrill seekers. They are quite impulsive people and are often insecure so seek validation that they're desired. Married men say the same old things, some people are gullible so they believe them.

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Astrid
Knowflake

Posts: 87
From:
Registered: Oct 2013

posted October 20, 2013 11:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astrid     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ProudLeo:
I am "the wife". My husband had an affair with a woman at work. We had a good marriage...but we had a baby and another on the way...I was tired a lot and focused on children and home...he wasn't getting the "attention" he was used to and felt a lot of "pressure" ...well, such is life but apparently his outlet was to engage in an affair. She was single, without kids, younger, and exciting...it was like a other life when he was with her...responsibility free. I read the emails...they were "soooo in love" and the emails were full of fabrications, stretches of the truth and full out lies to this woman. He was playing a fantasy roll and he was in love with the excitement and freshness it brought him. I actually felt more sorry for the woman than I did myself (even being fairly young at 26 and pregnant and having a 2 year old). To be so weak and gullible like her...I would hate that worse than being lied to and lied about. I called the woman and told her she could have my husband...."come pick him up...I'm keeping the car because I have children...and he also has another ex wife and a son which he pays 23% of his income for...he will give me about 30% for our two and he has to pay to have them all covered in insursnce...so you will probably have to help him financially as well as take him to work and let him stay with you while he tried to save up for a car and a place to live." She said "that's not my responsibility"....oh, we'll I'm sorry because I thought "love" knows no boundaries like you said in one of your emails trying to orchestrate my husband leaving his family for you...but now when reality sets in you don't want him? That's funny. Well to be honest, that's the smartest thing I've seen/heard you say because 90% of what he told you was lies just to keep you going and get what he wanted from you...sex, devotion. Admiration, and excitement. She didnt like that too much but she kept calling my husband at work...even using the "I'm pregnant tactic"...such s desperate, needy woman. 6 years later and my husband and I are still together....although I think now that I should have left him then. But the fact of the matter is that each person has their choices to make...despite transits or charts etc. we still have choices. Now, I was willing to let him go if by some small chance he had found "true love" but it was obvious by her self righteous, I want, give me, I deserve attitude that she had no idea what love was...and I pitied her..and him. Today I really do wish he had found true love and ran off into the sunset with this woman...then maybe I might find my "true love"...if that even exists. We made our choices based in responsibility and commitment...that's what most people will do despite some exciting romp in the sack. My husband lied to this woman to get what he wanted...most likely this man did too. Also, it sounds to me like you do a lot more trying to figure life out, predict it, manipulate it, define it, analyze it etc....instead of actually living it, learning, and growing. You're going to drive yourself to the nut house if you don't change your strategy...if you aren't already half way there....because you sound a lot like you've taken a turn in that direction. Astrology is meant to be help us learn the areas that we can develop ourselves and overcome obstacles...not map out every move...that's a cop out. Stop expecting something else to put your life into motion and give you what you want...and start learning how to run your own life effectively. Starting with the lesson that married men are in the swells of their life choices and they need to deal with those before they would be able to offer anyone a committed relationship. Don't expect anyone to leave their life commitments behind for you....it is bith selfish and niave...even if they say they will because a) they are probably lieing to get t
What they want and b) if he really would, is that the kind of person you want to be with....someone who can just drop commitments and responsibilities on a whim or at such haste? I think you are using your brain power (you are obviously articulate and intelligent) in all the wrong places.


Sorry that happened to you. The reason why I have never seen him more than a couple of times in private is because he was married. And "I" didn't want to cheat. The reason for meeting him in private was not because I had fallen for him. it was because he made himself look like a really good friend.

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Astrid
Knowflake

Posts: 87
From:
Registered: Oct 2013

posted October 20, 2013 11:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astrid     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ProudLeo:
Sorry that happened to you. The reason why I have never seen him more than a couple of times in private is because he was married. And "I" didn't want to cheat. The reason for meeting him in private in the first place was not because I had fallen for him. it was because he made himself look like a really good friend.

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Astrid
Knowflake

Posts: 87
From:
Registered: Oct 2013

posted October 25, 2013 10:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astrid     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
But I

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Astrid
Knowflake

Posts: 87
From:
Registered: Oct 2013

posted October 25, 2013 10:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astrid     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
But I do think it is rude of you to reply the way you have. This site is for astrology. And I was asking for astrology reading in this matter. I never asked for your own opinion. Neither did I ever say that I was a bad person who had been trying to steel him away from his wife.

All I was asking for was if you could see if he was about to come for me. If he is the One I've been looking for. As I said, for good reasons I really do believe he never loved the woman he married. Neither do I believe she loved him. And I do believe he wanted me (if he was not married).

Last time I saw him (third time in private) I gave him the ultimatum:
"You are not going to choose who you want the most out of the two of us. You will decide that you want to be with her - or you will decide that you do not want to be with her".

I was never in that conclusion. I never asked to be, I told him that I couldn't be. I have never seen him since. That was 1,5 years ago.

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Enigma9
Knowflake

Posts: 242
From:
Registered: May 2013

posted October 26, 2013 01:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Enigma9     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Astrid, I know how it feels to fall for a man already taken and I know it is painful but there is a golden rule that I learned recently which is helping me move on and to be realistic is that a man knows what he wants and ALWAYS chases it. there is a book called "act like a lady think like a man" by Steve Harvey, it is very good. Please do not be upset w/ me but I am talking from experience. if he wants you he will come to you.

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lilithpluto
Knowflake

Posts: 2288
From: pluto
Registered: Dec 2011

posted October 26, 2013 03:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lilithpluto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The 3rd party is always seen unfavourably and I doubt anyone will willingly read your charts.. because most of the people here do have a moral stand on how such things should be.. which isn't wrong from their stand. Whether you are soulmates or twin flames or the love of each other's lives, the situation is not good.

Glad that you gave him the ultimatum. Whatever happens happens - my opinion is that you should not expect to have someone chripping in to give verifications to you that you two belong together. iQ said once, unless the other person is single and avaliable, the composite chart between husband and wife will still be the priority influence no matter how good the charts are between you and him.

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Haplesschild*
Knowflake

Posts: 1164
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted October 26, 2013 04:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Haplesschild*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think the fact that after u gave that ultimatum, u never saw him again speaks volumes.

Typical married man with non existent morals.I'm sorry.

quote:
Originally posted by Astrid:
But I do think it is rude of you to reply the way you have. This site is for astrology. And I was asking for astrology reading in this matter. I never asked for your own opinion. Neither did I ever say that I was a bad person who had been trying to steel him away from his wife. Still the replies I got seemed to be angry and wanted me to know how bad I am - and he is. Well, that is my life. Always blamed for people wanting to misunderstand everything I say.

All I was asking for was if you could see if he was about to come for me. If he is the One I've been looking for. As I said, for good reasons I really do believe he never loved the woman he married. Neither do I believe she loved him. And I do believe he wanted me (if he was not married).

Last time I saw him (third time in private) I gave him the ultimatum:
"You are not going to choose who you want the most out of the two of us. You will decide that you want to be with her - or you will decide that you do not want to be with her".

I was never in that conclusion. I never asked to be, I told him that I couldn't be. I have never seen him since. That was 1,5 years ago.


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