posted January 01, 2014 06:24 PM            

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
Don't worry. The wedding card had various meanings, chiefly that you would get married one day, in the future. Or a wedding would be involved, i.e., you could meet at a wedding. It is just that it was interesting to get it in this context.

Your cards for GC in the second reading looked pretty good too. It would be advisable to keep an open mind for both. Believing everything predicted thru astrology could be the wrong thing here. Just a little something overlooked in the chart could make a key difference.

Yes, what J's intentions are sounds good. Great!

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Yes, you're right. I can't jump to conclusions, especially when I haven't see either one of them for quite some time now.

Okay, so I asked about J's intentions for you. The base card is 2 spades, the spread is 8 hearts, 5 hearts and 9 diamonds.

First and foremost, I feel there's some deception here. It's not a deception done for your ill, however. Feels like he is putting up a front for you, so you can't tell how he feels about you. Is he pulling away from you, physically and/or emotionally? Or is he pulling a disappearing act? This is what is going going on right now in the relationship.

As far as his intentions for you go, if he's not in already in a relationship with someone else (which I don't think he is or wants to be), he wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to provide you with good times and happiness. He wants to build something stable with you.

He's very attracted to you as a woman and he wants to sweep you off your feet. He wants to have a passionate romance with you, and share pleasure and enjoyment with you. Not only that, he seems to welcome intimacy from you. The thing is, with the 2S as the base card, I think he fears opening up this side of himself to you, but he does want to be very intimate and share secrets and dreams with you.

He thinks about you constantly and is very attracted to your mind. He gets easily excited when you're near, because you awaken in him an energy that he can't quite contain inside himself. Is he twitchy or something like that when you're near? Does he have a nervous tick? I think he's not sure you're attracted to him (which I'm assuming you are), and he'll wait for you to give him the green light before he'll act on any of his feelings.

Worry not, dear. I don't feel any bad intentions towards you. At most, he's a bit confused himself on what to do and how to approach you. He's lacking a little bit on the communication level. I feel that if you show him just a little bit of interest, he'll open up to you and be more direct.

posted January 01, 2014 06:26 PM            

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
Hi Fille. a very Happy New Year to you.

I actually travelled half way around the world yesterday to be with near and dear. It is 4 am here now, post celebrations. Jet lag and the good cheer will ensure that I stay awake. Thank goodness for LL!

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Very Happy New Year to you too, dear!

I hope you're already adapting to the time difference and enjoying lovely times with your dear ones!

posted January 01, 2014 08:13 PM            

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Originally posted by Twitterbird05:
Sure, thanks.

Question: how will I recognize my next partner/romantic interest?

Horseshoe spread, drew significator instead of picking.

Sig: Eight of Swords
Past: Strength
Present: Page of Wands
What is Hidden: Six of Cups
Obstacles/Challenges: King of Pentacles
Surroundings: Seven of Pentacles
Advice: Four of Pentacles
Outcome: Five of Pentacles
Clarifying card: Ace of Pentacles

These cards stuck out to me because:
The eight of swords has come up repeatedly for the ex representing his feelings about the situation. I've had to be really disciplined in this whole process, re: strength. The page of wands seemed to represent me in readings about the two of us. The King of Pentacles has come up to represent him at times when he was going to step up and be mature. Four of pentacles has repeatedly seemed to represent my attempts to hold things together. Five of pentacles has seemed to represent the effect of his depression on me - he is handicapped by it.

I see the four of pentacles telling me not to hold on too tightly, but then how does it lead to that outcome? We are going to trudge together again?

I was hoping this spread might tell me what kind of person to be looking for in the future.

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Sorry I didn't come here sooner, TB, but let's see what I can interpret from these.

First, you need to remember that the cards are answering your question, the specific one you asked them. Let's do this!

Okay, so I don't understand why you used the 8S as significator... This card feels like a card of pain and being/feeling powerless. Are you trying to sabotage yourself? I'd think the Ace of Cups would be a good significator for a new romantic interest and even a new partner. Isn't that the card that can represent the beginning stage of falling in love and developing stronger feelings for someone? I think your subconscious is speaking a little too strongly right now...

Ok, so how you'll recognize your next partner...

In the past, you were really patient and resolute on what you wanted in a relationship. You did not compromise your beliefs and you stood true to what you were waiting for. You did not rush into potential relationships just for the sake of being with someone, nor did you hook up with guys to get a boost for your ego.

In the present, you're the opposite way you were before. You're too eager to get back the feeling of being in a relationship, the feeling of loving and being loved by someone. This eagerness conflicts with your past calmness on matters of the heart, so I think you feel very much conflicted. Honestly, I think this is guy you're kinda holding onto your boyfriend; you want the relationship, but you don't have the patience for the work that is getting to know someone intimately enough to want to have a relationship with them, so you've kinda convinced yourself that falling back on your ex's arms is a good idea. That's why, I think, you used the 8 of swords as significator.

I think that what is being hidden is yourself. You're hiding your purity of heart from yourself, because you don't want to analyze the impact your ex had on you and how much he changed you as a person and as a woman. It's like you're renegating that you once believed you could have the type of love you've always dreamed of. Did you loose touch with this side of yourself? You should reconnect with it, if you did. You can't find someone to share yourself with when there's a part of your own being that you keep from them.

The obstacle here is that your mindframe is not ready for romance. You're making up lists and more lists of the things you want in a guy and how he should treat, what type of person he should be, etc. You're being PRACTICAL, when you should be feeling. To overcome this, I think you need to get in touch with your feelings (again I'm getting this), and romance your life a little. Perhaps by reading a novel, by watching a chick flick, or even by doing a romantic dinner just for yourself, you need to insert a little bit of tenderness into your life. A little touch goes a long way, you know. You need to open to romance and not treat it or see it as the meeting of two wills or something like that.

The surroundings seem pretty clear: you need to look around yourself. There IS a guy out there for you. The next guy you'll date IS out there. To get him, you NEED to move on from your ex, though. Completely. No baggage can come with you. Carrying your fears, regrets and upsets (especially the ones exarcebated by your past r/ship) will only hinder you in your search for your next partner in crime. If you're in a hurry to find your next guy, to get over your ex, you NEED to change directions and get over your ex first before finding the next guy. I think your vision will be clouded until you do that.

This is a weird advice card... Okay, so you need to take charge of yourself. You're all over the place with your emotions, because this ex of yours really did a number on you. Did he promise you the world? Or did you believe he had hung the moon? Now you're scattered without him, without direction and without support. You DON'T NEED support. You're self-sufficient and you're strong enough to go through this alone. You were strong and resilient in the past, remember? You need to gather back that strength and resilience, and incorporate it back into your life and mindset. Only by being self-possessed and emotionally strong can you be able to see and find your next boyfriend.

The outcome is speaking of what will happen if you don't heed the advice, I think. If you go on thinking that dating someone else will make you forget your ex and the pain he put you through, you're wrong. You'll keep on feeling lonely and like nobody can ever again be interested in you. You'll be looking back on your last relationship (the nostalgia from the 6 of cups as hidden influences) and hanging onto something that is OVER and done with.

If, however, you come to terms with what you need to do to open yourself for a new relationship, you'll be emotionally stable to proceed with meeting new people and scanning them for their relationship potential. Not only that, you'll be able to see clearly through them all and through you, and build a new love on a solid foundation, based on mutual trust, realistic goals and a true desire to create something that is tangible and concrete.

posted January 01, 2014 09:02 PM            

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Originally posted by filleaspirant:
Okay, so I don't understand why you used the 8S as significator... This card feels like a card of pain and being/feeling powerless. Are you trying to sabotage yourself?

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I didn't pick this card, I was trying to explain that I drew it instead of selecting it. I find it interesting sometimes to draw the significator.

Much of what you said was very true, especially this part:

quote:

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Originally posted by filleaspirant:
In the past, you were really patient and resolute on what you wanted in a relationship. You did not compromise your beliefs and you stood true to what you were waiting for. You did not rush into potential relationships just for the sake of being with someone, nor did you hook up with guys to get a boost for your ego.

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I also am very wary/nervous about the whole "getting to know you" stage of a relationship, especially when I so often feel like there are very few guys I end up attracted to/interested in. I think I am very conflicted internally. I lived my life without much romance before this, and now he has changed me, which I'm painfully aware of. It awakened a whole different side of my being, and I don't feel like I can exactly go back to being the person I was before. I do think you're right though, I think I need to reconnect with the part of myself that had pure hopes for a really meaningful relationship.

THIS is also incredibly true:

quote:

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Originally posted by filleaspirant:
You were strong and resilient in the past, remember? You need to gather back that strength and resilience, and incorporate it back into your life and mindset. Only by being self-possessed and emotionally strong can you be able to see and find your next boyfriend.

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I think that the sheer angst of this situation is making me impatient to work my way past it. He set me off balance in some big ways, caused some intense anxiety when we were together and I feel like it is still lingering and chasing me around. I feel like I've been FEELING a lot, dwelling and fixating on the whole thing and how I now have no outlet for a lot of the energy that being with him unleashed. I don't know if that makes sense, but it just awakened so many things and I don't really know how to deal with them. My personality has shifted, and I don't know what to make of it. I know this relationship should have made me feel like I deserve better, but I really just feel like I deserve only whatever I can get and what I really want is unrealistic and out of reach.

posted January 01, 2014 10:18 PM            

Okay, so I asked about J's intentions for you. The base card is 2 spades, the spread is 8 hearts, 5 hearts and 9 diamonds.

First and foremost, I feel there's some deception here. It's not a deception done for your ill, however. Feels like he is putting up a front for you, so you can't tell how he feels about you. Is he pulling away from you, physically and/or emotionally? Or is he pulling a disappearing act? This is what is going going on right now in the relationship.

If what you've said below is correct, then his behaviour belies his intentions. He was putting very little effort into the relationship, until very very recently (once I told him it was off, he became more ardent. Very male like.) It doesn't make sense for him to deceive me into thinking he wasn't committed!!

As far as his intentions for you go, if he's not in already in a relationship with someone else (which I don't think he is or wants to be), he wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to provide you with good times and happiness. He wants to build something stable with you.

He's very attracted to you as a woman and he wants to sweep you off your feet. He wants to have a passionate romance with you, and share pleasure and enjoyment with you. Not only that, he seems to welcome intimacy from you. The thing is, with the 2S as the base card, I think he fears opening up this side of himself to you, but he does want to be very intimate and share secrets and dreams with you.

This seems very positive. But it is what one does with the attraction that counts. He expresses his emotions in a rather understated way which makes me wonder how genuine he is.

He thinks about you constantly and is very attracted to your mind. He gets easily excited when you're near, because you awaken in him an energy that he can't quite contain inside himself. Is he twitchy or something like that when you're near? Does he have a nervous tick? I think he's not sure you're attracted to him (which I'm assuming you are), and he'll wait for you to give him the green light before he'll act on any of his feelings.

Nope, no nervous tick . I wouldn't have thought he thinks of me constantly. He is a man who compartmentalises his emotions. His work is of paramount importance and that comes first. I am, in fact, forgotten for long periods.

I feel that if you show him just a little bit of interest, he'll open up to you and be more direct.

posted January 02, 2014 08:54 AM            

So what you said in your feedback, about his behaviour belying his intentions and your own decision to pull away from him, explains the 2 spades as the base card. I thought it was a really strange card to get as the base for the reading, as it usually stands for two people fighting, deception, guilt, disagreements and broken partnerships. But it can also represent a removal or separation necessary to move forward. I think that by pulling away, you forced his hand on making a decision about what he wants in his life and what he doesn't.

Of course, intentions are only that, intentions. Even the most accurate reading ever doesn't stand a chance against free will, you know... I've had readings on three different guys that think I'm attractive and would like to date me, but NEITHER one of them will act on it. One is busy with his career, the other doesn't know how to broach the subject and the other is a bit of a commitment phobe (he wants commitment from the girl but also to be free to "meet" other women). So, you see, all these guys have good intentions for me (they like me, they want to have something with me and make me happy), but NONE are going to do anything about it, even IF I say something to them.

I get what you mean about wondering how genuine he is, especially when he wasn't putting in any effort before you pulled away, but even if I'm wrong in my interpretation, these cards don't lie: he has GOOD intentions for you. I think that, perhaps by being so focused on work, he actually has an excuse to not invest in a relationship with you. Think workhalic meets commitment phobe. That's probably it.

I honestly don't think you're too far from his mind ever. I felt it really strongly, like he thinks of you in a passing way all the time, like "this is nice, I bet AK would like it" or even "wonder what she's doing right now" between breaks while he's working. He's not going to tell you that or be open about it. From my own situation, all three guys get REALLY happy when I message them. Like, you can read their excitment underlining their words. BUT, if I ever confront them about the fact that it's always me initiating conversation, they skirt around the issue and never give me a direct answer. It's either that they're too busy working or that they don't want to disrupt my studies, or whatever. It's all excuses. I've given them myself, so I understand where they're coming from.

Like I said above, his intentions are good, but just like YOU said, it's what one does with the attraction that counts.

posted January 02, 2014 01:57 PM            

I had a lovely holiday, thank you very much. Hope yours was good too.

quote:

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Originally posted by Twitterbird05:
I didn't pick this card, I was trying to explain that I drew it instead of selecting it. I find it interesting sometimes to draw the significator.

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Haha, my bad. I understood the opposite. But I think this is actually even more telling of your state of mind, don't you agree? To me, it speaks about your feelings of helplessness and angst, and how you really don't know what to do to move on.

I hear you on the wariness about meeting new guys. I'm 25, I haven't had a single relationship and I've only really liked 4 guys enough to be open for something more. I'm not an easy girl to like: I have strong beliefs I don't compromise too, and I have an idea in my head of the type of relationship that I want that I'm not willing to change. And IT'S OKAY TO FEEL THIS WAY. To fear the unknown. We just gotta be brave and not shut down every guy that comes our way. (Or so I keep telling myself.)

The advice was to be self-possessed, yes. So I think you need to really face your feelings, not just for your ex, but also the ones he woke up in you and the ones he left you with. Once you do that, I think you'll be able to have a clear vision of what to do next and healthily connect with your feelings, dreams and hopes for your next relationship.

Honestly, I think you should embrace all the things that are you now and find ways to live with yourself. That's the best advice I've ever got and I think it's still sound. Also, you do deserve better, you deserve all you want. You need to start telling yourself that and believing it.

posted January 02, 2014 02:19 PM            

I hope you don't mind if I backtrack a little bit.

2013 felt like it was chopped into two halves for me. The first half was spent pining after this guy who I've had feelings for for years. He is the one person who I've truly felt a soul mate connection with. He makes me feel like anything is possible. He makes me laugh and feel like myself. He's basically everything I think I want in a man. But holding onto my feelings without expressing them was really hurting me. He lives abroad, so I only see him a few times a year and I'd always just hold out hope that we'd get together one of those times. In June I decided to put all of my feelings out there, even if it meant just emailing him. He didn't reciprocate, but was incredibly kind and gracious about it. I promised myself that if he didn't want me back I'd make a solid effort to open myself to other guys.

I met and started dating my ex in the following weeks. I wasn't really ever sure of things with him, but I told myself that I didn't really know how a relationship should be, because I spent too much time idealizing it with the last guy and others. But things never truly felt right, and I didn't want to admit it because I stopped trusting my instincts. I believed that if my instincts were right things would have worked out with my dream guy (the one who lives abroad). In the end, I compromised way too much.

I tried to erase a lot of the things I felt and thought I wanted, because I took the events of this past summer as a sign that I had been very off track in the past with my "lofty" dreams. I started to believe the idea that I only deserved what came to me, not what I wanted in my heart.

I don't know how to find a balance between these two things. The practical compromise and inevitable difficulty of any relationship vs. the hopes of having a satisfying, enriching, fulfilling relationship.

Where do the daydreams end and where does life begin?

posted January 02, 2014 02:48 PM            

Some people can compromise their ideals, or they just don't have any for their relationships. I think you're like me: you've got them and you're proud of them. Perhaps it's the fact that you kinda put them aside and "made" yourself believe you were different from how you really are, perhaps it's that that has you in such a bad place after the end of relationship. I think that, unconsciously or not, you're regretting putting your ideals on the backburner and making yourself miserable as punishment.

If that is the case, stop it. You had no way of foreseeing this would happen. Actually, you should take it as a lesson to be learned: to trust your instincts, your ideals and hopes and wishes.

To answer your question, I think the dream stage stops when you find someone you connect with. Then, and only then, should you allow your fantasized version of a romance be put aside and look with clear eyes at what you have. Only when you get into a relationship should you try to not dream up things. Try to see your partner for the person he is. Or so I'd like to believe I'd do it this way. Like I said before, I have no experience with relationships, I can only tell you what I think can work in your situation, but it's like the blind leading the blind here...

Now, I'm trying to be open and talk to guys. Not because I want to have something with them, but because I want to get back a little of my forwardness that I had with the two boys I liked first. I don't want to do like I did with the two last ones and shy away from them, even when they showed a bit of reception to my feelings.

I don't know if what I'm doing is right, though. The guy I've been talking to is a real sweetheart but he says he doesn't want commitment. That's okay, I don't think I want it either from him. But what do I want from him? Do I want to just date him and be light-hearted and fun? Readings have told me he thinks of me as someone he'd like to have a relationship with... He said himself, it was really nice to be back talking to me after so long (I've known him for 7 years now). Am I sure he wants me? No, I'm not. Am I sure I want him? No, I'm not. Should I stop talking to him? I don't want to. I've been sharing stuff I haven't done with anyone else before, and he seems to accept me as I am and doesn't judge me. He's supportive. But really, what am I doing? I have no idea. I think this is what frightens me the most.

posted January 02, 2014 03:03 PM            

I get that limbo stage. You are benefiting from your relationship with each other and it may not be a soul mate thing or forever love, but it's working for now. Still, it can be confusing as hell.