posted March 20, 2014 08:58 AM            

Your charts have many contacts with each both good and challenging. There's a lot of attraction, too.

The one thing I see in your chart is that natal Neptune squares their Sun and Venus, which can make you not see them clearly and set you up for a disappointment down the road. Both of your suns square the others mars, which I've learned means that one or both would have to give up something in order to get along with the other and if not, your moon opposing their mars could indicate a blow up if things are not talked over. Your suns, expressions are in harmony and the moons being conjunct allows you to be together in the same moods and view family matters similarly. The mars/Saturn contacts between your charts could make the relationship hot and cold at times. You are physically compatible with each other and don't have the tension there that others experience.

Let me know if this resonates.

posted March 20, 2014 07:14 PM            

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Originally posted by LostTaurus:
It makes complete sense. Thank you so much for your time, Spring.

Did you have a question?

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You're welcome Lost. I can see your dilemma and that everything seems wonderful and know that I have been there, too.

Lately I've had concerns about what will happen after my mom passes one day--she's 91. There's one sibling-H-that doesn't seem to be a problem, but will I have troubles with M and his wife J or has what my mom set up legally going to be enough?

posted March 21, 2014 06:23 PM            

It seems so clear on the surface that you've all moved on from some sort of dysfunction that's better left in the past - that observation isn't second sight, it's just clear knowledge of the human circumstance. Unfortunately, this (rare?) reunion for such a major loss will charge up some raw feelings that could very quickly turn ugly between you all.

My best recommendation: when the time comes (as we all know it will), do your best to honor your mother in the intangible ways that will have a lasting effect, despite the challenges to petty battles driven by pride, ego and human frailty - the 'stuff' she leaves on this earth when she goes is not, ultimately, what she'll be watching for when she departs it.

posted March 21, 2014 07:27 PM            

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Originally posted by LostTaurus:
The death of a parent all too often brings out decades of pent-up resentment, angst and very often digs up childhood rivalries long buried and thought forgotten. I've seen it many, many times and I get the sense that this will be no exception.

It seems so clear on the surface that you've all moved on from some sort of dysfunction that's better left in the past - that observation isn't second sight, it's just clear knowledge of the human circumstance. Unfortunately, this (rare?) reunion for such a major loss will charge up some raw feelings that could very quickly turn ugly between you all.

My best recommendation: when the time comes (as we all know it will), do your best to honor your mother in the intangible ways that will have a lasting effect, despite the challenges to petty battles driven by pride, ego and human frailty - the 'stuff' she leaves on this earth when she goes is not, ultimately, what she'll be watching for when she departs it.

I really hope this helps. If you have any further questions, please let me know.

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Hi LostTaurus,

Thank you for the read. I know it will be difficult and as for the two siblings, both had different views on how to be financially secure in their lives. One lived for the moment (Virgo Sun--but lots of Leo--ASC) and the other one built a good foundation by keeping their finances stable through wisdom, thrift and also still managed to be very charitable to others (Pisces Sun and ASC). I on the other hand, took longer to leave the nest (jobs didn't pay well and had difficulty with getting a place to live), but not long before I moved out, I had a job that paid better than ones before, so saved some of that for the future. The Virgo (with help from their spouse) often blamed others for his circumstances--lack of good luck or things didn't go their way, but never recognized that they often were their own worst enemy. I don't have kids, but both of them have spent a lot on them in many ways. I envisioned that the Virgo would come and take anything they felt they could sell without sharing with their siblings. I already saw this when our father passed. He didn't ask our mother if he could have anything and just took it. Not too long ago he and his wife came and took a piece of our mother's furniture. When I went to visit her, she was upset saying that he took it. She does forget things, and when I called him, he said that she told him he could have it--in an earlier conversation--but no one else was present. The Pisces one just wanted something to remember our father by--his watch. I have a feeling that the Pisces will have a problem with the Virgo taking everything and a battle will start--he has often viewed the Virgo and his family as living on the edge as he calls it. We see each other just about every Sunday morning for breakfast at our moms. I will be glad when it's all over--she has a trust and that's at least legally protected. When my father became ill years before he passed, I was the only one that came forward to help with his affairs (he couldn't see very well at first)--there wasn't much organization and it became time consuming to sift through everything and make some changes he knew that he needed to make to protect our mother's future if he had passed away then. I asked her to do the trust, so I would go through this again.

I guess the resentment may be mostly me, since I've also become my mom's helper (dad took care of everything before), social outlet over the years as friends/neighbors passed away and somewhat of a caretaker, although she is still able to do a lot at her age.

I've thought about this recently and think my health is partially affected by it. I have decided to not be concerned about what she leaves behind and just focus on remembering her,doing the paperwork that needs to be done and just relax--if that's possible.

The dysfunction you saw was probably that we grew up with very little. Each of us grew to look at that differently. I was happy with whatever my parents gave me and grew up to appreciate the little things. My siblings--one more than the other grew to only want things that were more expensive so they could impress others.

Will the battle be mostly over the stuff? I see some sentimental value in her wedding band, etc., but I'm not sure how much one of them really looks at anything like that.

posted March 22, 2014 10:08 PM            

Again (and to be completely candid and fair), easily 90% of this isn't second sight - this is experience of having seen this scenario more times than I care to recount. It sometimes breaks my heart; how truly amazing we can be...and how pitifully small we often choose to be.

posted March 23, 2014 10:11 AM            

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Originally posted by LostTaurus:
Spring, I think the battles will ultimately be over the same 'things', but the crux of the issue is that those 'things' are viewed differently by each of you - they'll hold varying levels of sentimental value for each of you. The resentment will come from the two of you who hold greater sentiment - you'll see his behavior a predatory and grossly disrespectful of your parents' memories, not to mention of your own grieving processes...and it will be.

Again (and to be completely candid and fair), easily 90% of this isn't second sight - this is experience of having seen this scenario more times than I care to recount. It sometimes breaks my heart; how truly amazing we can be...and how pitifully small we often choose to be.

All of that said, if there's anything I can do to help, please don't hesitate to call on me.

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Thank you very much LostTaurus.

I know it will be hard, and that's why I will focus on the paperwork for the most part. Everyone got along well at breakfast this morning and I think when the time comes, I will just do what needs to be done, keep the memories of my mom in my heart and forget about my siblings shortcomings--they and their families can battle if they wish. I also know that in the end I will be freer for all of it as well. My mother will also be happier, because she will have her younger body back, too. Getting older has been hard on her.

posted March 23, 2014 10:17 AM            

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Originally posted by Springtimeflower:
Thank you very much LostTaurus.

I know it will be hard, and that's why I will focus on the paperwork for the most part. Everyone got along well at breakfast this morning and I think when the time comes, I will just do what needs to be done, keep the memories of my mom in my heart and forget about my siblings shortcomings--they and their families can battle if they wish. I also know that in the end I will be freer for all of it as well. My mother will also be happier, because she will have her younger body back, too. Getting older has been hard on her.

Have a great day!
Spring

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