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Author
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Topic: My Heart Hurts and I Feel Empty....Cappy Woman Feels Tricked
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lilred
Newflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 25, 2014 05:18 PM
  
My love life hurts at this moment. I never really met a man I truly feel connected to. I always have to convince myself they are good for me or I am attracted to them. I ran into a Cancer man I had not seen since high school and we ended up chatting. He was working and I was on a date (I was bored to death) so we couldn’t talk too much but the chemistry was amazing. He left without saying good bye, but later a mutual friend came and inquired if my date was my BF (I said “God No”) and he said my Cancer friend was interested in catching up and if I was down he wanted me to have his number. (Why he didn’t ask himself, I never figured out) I texted him that night and he texted right back and before the end of the night asked me to dinner for a few nights later. Within the next 48 hours we texted each other over 400 times and talked on the phone 7. He wanted to buy me mani/pedis, clothes, wash my car…. I politely declined them all. But I did finally agree to meet him up a night early with his friends. We had an absolutely wonderful time! He told me he had only felt a connection like this 1 other time about 10 years ago. (we are both 34) He wanted to know everything about me (of course I kept stuff back) the more he knew the more awesome he thought I was. He wanted me to come home and watch a movie with him…. Spend the entire next day with him. I had to decline. I had family obligations and I had to protect my heart. He seemed so bummed. I couldn’t help start to trust he really was into me. I met up with him the next night. At dinner he asked me to move with him in October? When is it too early to get married? And if we could get and apartment together no? (we had a few drinks for I just blew it off) But when he started to drop the L word … I told him I wouldn’t take him seriously until he was sober and he looked me straight in the eye and did it again and I laughed. After that we went to a party, where it was all his friends plus his family He introduced me to everyone as his girlfriend and I just smiled. I was on some sort of crazy high. I would normally be running for the hills. There was something so charming about it. The next place we went he even told the bartender we had been married for 8 years, just to make me laugh….. and I did. But I did get to the point where I needed some space. So while he was talking to some friends I told him I was so to watch the last few minutes of the game at the other side of the bar and HE SAID NO!!! So of course I did. When I did he did text me to come give him a kiss and then two more times and called me three. With some alcohol in me and everything else that had happened, I felt the need to assert my independents, so I didn’t move and motioned for him to come over to me. And his ***** switch flipped! When I went back over he had gotten the check and said he had spent like $300, so asked if I could help. I said sure, I had not brought enough cash (anyway, he and kept saying I would never pay for anything when I was with him….blah blah blah, but from the beginning i told I don;t date guys for their money) I offered to go to the ATM, he told me to forget it and we left. Went back to his place to watch a movie and he was a snippy ***** and I remained sweet and pie. Then this morning I got a text saying he wanted to just be friends because he couldn’t handle that I didn’t have enough money to pay a small bar bill. I said “Totally Cool. I will get you that $40.” But honestly I am hurt and totally confused!
I know what you are think…. Run from the unstable douche…. But he made me start to fall and I am not sure what I should do. Our compatibility chart said we were pretty great. The chemistry was crazy and I have never had a connection like that! It sounds so crazy and I am completely embarrassed but I miss him and I feel like I never existed to him and I am having trouble wrapping my head around the fact he is gone.
HisSun Cancer 11.08
Ascendant Virgo 17.26
Moon Libra 22.45
Mercury Leo 7.02
Venus Gemini 26.42
Mars Gemini 5.24
Jupiter Leo 11.20
Saturn Virgo 9.33
Uranus Scorpio 17.08 R
Neptune Sagittarius 18.31 R
Pluto Libra 16.28
Lilith Leo 29.18
Asc node Virgo 10.12 II Libra 12.11
III Scorpio 11.49
IV Sagittarius 15.17
V Capricorn 19.23
VI Aquarius 20.29
VII Pisces 17.26
VIII Aries 12.11
IX Taurus 11.49
Midheaven Gemini 15.17
XI Cancer 19.23
XII Leo 20.29
Mine
Sun Capricorn 6.41
Ascendant Leo 4.12
Moon Taurus 12.54
Mercury Sagittarius 23.27
Venus Aquarius 7.44
Mars Virgo 13.26
Jupiter Virgo 10.15 R
Saturn Virgo 26.57
Uranus Scorpio 23.54
Neptune Sagittarius 20.50
Pluto Libra 21.35
Lilith Virgo 19.10
Asc node Virgo 0.38 Cancer 3.11
II Leo 24.20
III Virgo 18.58
IV Libra 20.07
V Scorpio 26.54
VI Capricorn 3.11
VII Aquarius 4.12
VIII Aquarius 24.20
IX Pisces 18.58
Midheaven Aries 20.07
XI Taurus 26.54
XII Cancer 3.11 ****I am pretty good with my dreams---the night before he ended it, I had a dream that we were at a party that I was running and he was supporting me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him getting close to another woman but didn't really care. Later on I found myself literally protecting him (him sitting on a stool in a corner and me guarding him from the crowd of friends and family) and defending him to everyone at the party, then I turned to the other woman and said he is "my boyfriend!". And then I turned around to him and pointed my finger and said "I know exactly what you did!" and He pulled me close with a huge smile on his face kissed me and said "who is my girl?" and I melted. I really don't get it... I feel like he is gone gone... and I want stability not confusion and drama. I have been dreaming about this guy for years! So when I ran into him, it was BAM and bad news. All my Cappy sensibility walked out the door. I feel like I was nothing but a game to him with no feelings involved. And if he finds out I actually have money How could I ever trust him. But at the same time I want to go flaunt my BLK AMEX in front of him and make him eat it. No one knows about my $.
IP: Logged |
Astro keen
Knowflake Posts: 1465
From: UK
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 05:36 PM
He sounds like someone suffering from Narcissism. Very charming to begin with, and when the girl is hooked, they tend to pull the rug from under their feet. I think this artcle fits the bill:
http://esteemology.com/the-three-phases-of-a-narcissistic-rel ationship-cycle-over-evaluation-devaluation-discard/ Please read others on narcissists in relationships. IP: Logged |
happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 767
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 05:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Astro keen:
He sounds like someone suffering from Narcissism. Very charming to begin with, and when the girl is hooked, they tend to pull the rug from under their feet. I think this artcle fits the bill:
http://esteemology.com/the-three-phases-of-a-narcissistic-rel ationship-cycle-over-evaluation-devaluation-discard/ Please read others on narcissists in relationships.
He sounds like a ******* psychopath. Be lucky he's doing you such a huge favor. Its all crazy train from here. IP: Logged |
FairyDust75
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted March 25, 2014 06:02 PM
AstroKeen, thank you for posting that article! It all makes sense to me now! O.M.G!IP: Logged |
lilred
Newflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 25, 2014 06:03 PM
AstroKeen... Most of it makes a lot of since but A. I hope he never felt I was his. I only laughed or was sarcastic at all of his outlandish comments about marriage and love. And he got upset because I gave him too much space, talk sports with a bartender... basically didn't follow his rules. And B. very calmy and cooly told him we could not be friends because we never were. Which completely ticked him off
And yes, I am out going and confident and have been told I am beautiful, but when we were chatting when I first saw him I said, "Do you remember, I hated you in HS?" I did. I am not a hater. But he was so cool to everyone but me and always ****** me off! Would saying that make me a target?
I am just hating that for the first time in my life I felt and instant connection (our Liliths connect each other) and it blew up in my face. I feel so stupid. And I know better....most the time. I seem to want what is not good for me. I blame my Venus in AquariusIP: Logged |
lilred
Newflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 25, 2014 06:22 PM
I so very much appreciate all the advice! Anyone out there have experience with a Cancer man or are one them self? Is this disappearing act normal or did I just get lucky with a psychopath? Am I going to have to deal with this guy again? If he does come back how do I let him know done is done without having to move to Europe....unfortunately my career wont afford me that luxury right now  I know this is a lot of work, but is there anyone who can do an actual reading? I have always trusted Linda Goodman as a source, but not sure how this all works. Thank You All!!! IP: Logged |
Astro keen
Knowflake Posts: 1465
From: UK
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 06:26 PM
lilred, to me he sounds even more unstable than the example provided in the article. He may have sensed that ignoring you initially was a way of exciting your interest.It is good that you are confident and secure enough to see through him. The best thing is to let him go - for you to feel off balance, self-critical and anxious is a by product of a relationship with a narcissist. This may even be part of his plan. Glad you came to this site. IP: Logged |
Astro keen
Knowflake Posts: 1465
From: UK
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 06:51 PM
Here is a Romance Angels message that I got for you.'The angels have heard your desire for great love and they bring you this guidance. The angels know that you have been hurt and that you're wary of being hurt again. Yet your defences will create barriers to allowing love into your life. As you heal your past you won't keep recreating it. After all, you attract into your life the situations and relationships that remind you of what you've already experienced, because that is a primary tool of healing. To change to a healthier relationship pattern, it's necessary to detoxify any old anger, blame, or unforgiveness you may be holding. This includes forgiving yourself. If you call upon the Angels and ask them to help you release and heal your past, they will clear away the heaviness so that your heart can soar with happiness." I hope this helps. IP: Logged |
lilred
Newflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 25, 2014 07:11 PM
Astro Keen, Thank you so much! That us Is what I needed. I am beating my self up. And I need to let it go. I am normally very sensible but I can also be spontaneous. I have turned down 5 marriage proposal due to the fact that my gut told me it was wrong. I jest feel blind sighted sided. And like Mr Right is not out there. So thank you very much. It's almost like I needed permission to forgive. I am a bit afraid he will try to come waltzing back in to my life because I almost lost control the first time and I don't want to do it again. Very doubtful I will but that dream has me lyrics... lerry. (Talking into my phone sorry the errors... I can't correct for some reason) and his brother told me he was super sensitive and to be where Warned and I did not listen to any red flags. you are seriously the best. Thank you!IP: Logged |
Sandra018
Knowflake Posts: 320
From: Brooklyn,NY
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 07:14 PM
Have you tried looking at his and ur transits right now?
it could give you an insight of what's going on..if he is really in love/lust or whatever happened.
IP: Logged |
lilred
Newflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 25, 2014 07:26 PM
I feel foolish, but I don't know how.IP: Logged |
lilred
Newflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 25, 2014 07:40 PM
I feel foolish, I don't know how. Is there a resource you could help me out with. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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