posted March 25, 2014 09:23 PM            

Right now, transit Uranus, Pluto and Jupiter are all making hard aspects to my Sun/Moon midpoint, not to mention a few other transits including Saturn return... So I've been going through a few self reflections as well as digging some issues out, but I feel that I might not be seeing everything clearly.

So basically, I'd love it if someone can dig deeper, analyze my psyche, even the farker stuffs if you'd like, to shed some lights on some things I want to understand.

Thank you.

posted March 26, 2014 05:15 PM            

This seems like a really difficult chart to deal with. You have a huge Plutonic theme. I think I'm going to focus more on the difficulties than the good stuff.

So, ofc your Stellium is in the Eighth House, which definitely brings on a huge transformation theme. The big thing there is Moon Conjunct BML Conjunct Venus. This would explain the problems you have playing the very stereotypical feminine role. You don't fit it because Lilith has an effect on both the feminine entities in your chart and, as a result, your emotional being. Not to mention Venus is in detriment, and thus, relatively weak already.

The Aries effect would make you very independent. But I feel as though you have a hard time expressing yourself. It seems as though your family put constraints on you in some way or another, your parents especially. They probably expected a lot from you and didn't quite give you as much affection as you would've liked.

There are signs of a subconscious control freak here (for lack of a better term). Your Saturn is Conjunct your IC. This probably makes you want control at your core. On top of that, Mars is Opposite Pluto. This opposition makes for someone who can be very harsh and controlling and loves this control. They may, however, not be entirely aware that they are imposing their control over others. This effect is probably highlighted since Mars, Saturn, and Pluto are all intercepted. If I had to guess, I'd say that you're among the older of your siblings (if you have any), and you responded to the pressure your parents put on you and the restraints you felt while living with them by being controlling of your siblings.

Your luminaries are both in the Eighth House. Your inner and outer selves will both undergo immense change. Mercury and Venus are there too, so I'd think that mental and emotional change as well. Basically, your entire way of thinking will be completely transformed throughout your life. You'll start your life thinking one thing, enter the real world thinking another, and leave the world hopefully having become an immensely wise person.

You have Chiron Conjunct your MC (and exactly Conjunct mine). You will probably have trouble discovering your destiny or what you want to do as a career and may face challenges once you've figured it out as well. You'll be effective at helping others carve their path, but may have trouble carving a path of your own.

posted March 27, 2014 08:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by FruityLlama:
Have you looked up your Moon-Lilith conjunction? If not: http://darkstarastrology.com/moon-conjunct-lilith/

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posted March 27, 2014 09:12 PM            

Yeah, I don't quite fit in the traditional female, the Eve female, since my stellium is in Aries and there is the BML. I have never had that natural capacity to blend in a group of women, thought on a side note I seem to not arouse any typical issue with the women I meet (jealousy and whatever) and rather get along fine with them.

My childhood was rather a cold one, and I've had issues with my mother back then. She was troubled and disappointed with life, emotionally explosive, was not nurturing to me and yet depended on my support back then. Good thing is that after she got much better, our relationship also got better (she was immature and unable to handle things back then nor be a good mother, and realizing that she was human with flaws and not take things personally helped me to forgive). Now our relationship is more balanced as I can have her support too, thought I feel that the past has indeed affected my self confidence and assertivity. I can express myself easily, thought the problem is more about being confident at expressing myself, which affects the clarity of my expression.

As for the Mars/Pluto opposition, maybe I'm a control freak sometimes lolol in some things yeah :P thought in life I can also be quite laid back and lack of ambition. I can also be harsh when wanting to control, that is true.
My astrology teacher who actually has this opposition as well said that the lesson for people with this or Mar/Pluto square is to learn that we can't really take control of things, and that with the opposition, we actually try to run from control, which is actually also true for me. Aside of the few things I attempt to control, I have always been avoiding conflicts and control, like conflicts with people.

Yeah, I'm the older sister, with a younger brother. In the past I was a very independent sister, the control I used to exert was to keep him away from my toys or being left alone, and sometimes we got into fights and since I was bigger I won all the time. I feel bad for having been a bad sister for him, but our relationship is fine now even thought we are not as close as siblings could be.

As for transformation, yeah ai feel like I'm in constant transformation, changes, even thought I'm still me.

As for my career, yeah I do have some trouble figuring out what I want, Gemini is also a sign of jack of all trades and master of none lol. I feel that I'm indeed better at counseling and guiding others than myself.