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Author
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Topic: I was so sure.. now I think I'm just obsessed
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Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 04:02 PM
  
So I found out N likes some girl and according to my friend, I don't stand a chance. This really hurts me a lot. Like I was so sure we had something, but then stuff like this always happens. It's like I'm trying to build up a house and then some random earthquake just destroys it in a matter of seconds. I feel so lost and confused. I have been holding on to him for a year and at first, I thought it was some kind of connection (I still feel it but...) . But now, I just think I'm obsessed. It hurts to say this, but it's reality. I always never get the people I actually like. And the sad part is, it's hard for me to fall in love with someone who I can't relate to on a spiritual or a mental level. Can anyone please help me? I need advice on how to actually get over this stupid attachment. IP: Logged |
moonstruck87
Knowflake Posts: 909
From: Indianapolis, IN
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 02, 2014 04:16 PM
You know I can relate to you right now. I chose to walk away from a guy just this past Monday & I've been a train wreck ever since.I am taking a break from dating in general. What do you enjoy doing? I am going to distract myself with bubble baths, reading, working out and of course play time with my son who is 1. We both deserve a man that's madly in love with us and makes us feel like the only woman he has eyes for. That is why I walked away from this guy- he was withholding affection because he didn't want me to get "too attached or lead me on". After I thought about that for a day I just politely told him I was done. I refuse to be on the back burner! If they're not sure they want us around then BYE. When we release the mediocre ******** relationships we allow room for the RIGHT one to come in Hugs to you and I'm always around the board if you ever wanna talk dear Hang in there. You aren't alone. IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 04:25 PM
Thanks moonstruck  I've actually been trying to get myself busy because I've noticed that I'm getting real clingy with him in the past few days. I saw your thread about being more emotional than usual, by the way. I'm really not like this. I don't like showing my feelings because that's just the way I am. But I do have them and they're pretty intense (only when I get to show them). Most of the time, I would just shrug things off like this, but right now, I feel way too emotional about this. I've been busy with my school and music and all these spiritual things. He pops up in my mind once in a while, but I do brush him off like a small lint on my shirt. I'm really trying to be open with options, but like, none of the guys that are after me actually want to be in the kind of relationship I want. So, I guess the option part is not even an option lol. The sad part is that I always feel insecure about myself when I like someone. This is probably gonna bring my self-esteem down. IP: Logged |
FairyDust75
Knowflake Posts: 268
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted April 02, 2014 04:32 PM
I haven't been in the best of situations either with a guy and it's been a year for me as well. I've come to realize I need to find myself again so my advice is to try to make yourself happy. I've been trying to do more things with friends and for myself to try and stop thinking about him so much. It's hard and doesn't always work, but I try to think of the positive I have in my life and work with that. Just take it one day at a time and know some days will be better than others but keep trying to propel yourself forward. And when you do slip up don't beat yourself up. Just accept it and move on. I'm also back to online dating hoping to meet someone new. Even if it's just someone new to chat with I'm happy. Just try to focus on the positive and good luck to you.IP: Logged |
St@r2013
Knowflake Posts: 394
From:
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted April 02, 2014 04:39 PM
The best thing is to really hang out with your friends more - movies, shopping, lots of laughter etc. Also - I'd watch my favorite shows/movies - especially comedy because you want to feel better and laughing is one of the best ways to feel better instantly. And actually don't worry about what others say to you - even if N does like someone else, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you... I would focus on yourself for now, do fun things you enjoy doing IP: Logged |
moonstruck87
Knowflake Posts: 909
From: Indianapolis, IN
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 02, 2014 04:41 PM
I don't try to resist thinking of this guy anymore, I let the thought and feeling come & then give myself permission to release itIt takes practice but I think part of healing and moving on is acknowledging the bad feelings and setting them free I buy myself roses, incense, gemstones and occasionally a new top or some makeup Treat yourself xo IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 04:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by FairyDust75:
I haven't been in the best of situations either with a guy and it's been a year for me as well. I've come to realize I need to find myself again so my advice is to try to make yourself happy. I've been trying to do more things with friends and for myself to try and stop thinking about him so much. It's hard and doesn't always work, but I try to think of the positive I have in my life and work with that. Just take it one day at a time and know some days will be better than others but keep trying to propel yourself forward. And when you do slip up don't beat yourself up. Just accept it and move on. I'm also back to online dating hoping to meet someone new. Even if it's just someone new to chat with I'm happy. Just try to focus on the positive and good luck to you.
You're right. I do tend to beat myself up (mentally) when things weren't exactly what I thought they would be. I have this stupid ego and I almost always can never accept defeat in terms of love. But the funny thing is, I always get defeated. I just hope it were that easy. But I'll try to focus more on myself like you said. Thanks IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 04:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by St@r2013:
The best thing is to really hang out with your friends more - movies, shopping, lots of laughter etc. Also - I'd watch my favorite shows/movies - especially comedy because you want to feel better and laughing is one of the best ways to feel better instantly. And actually don't worry about what others say to you - even if N does like someone else, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you... I would focus on yourself for now, do fun things you enjoy doing
Lately, I haven't been in the mood for socializing (which is really weird bc I'm that social butterfly). But I'll try to do that. I have parties to go to this April anyway lol. Funny you mentioned comedy, they're like my favorite kind of movies. Also, what you said about him not liking me, I do think he doesn't like me as a friend. He seems to feel so uncomfortable around me and I can sense it. Like the time I offered him food and he would hesitate even though he wanted it so much. Plus, I'm his only female friend that he doesn't hug. He doesn't even talk to me like he talks to other girls. I feel like he shuts me out every single time.
IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 04:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by moonstruck87:
I don't try to resist thinking of this guy anymore, I let the thought and feeling come & then give myself permission to release itIt takes practice but I think part of healing and moving on is acknowledging the bad feelings and setting them free I buy myself roses, incense, gemstones and occasionally a new top or some makeup Treat yourself xo
I haven't actually tried resisting the urge to think of him. I think I should try that too.
IP: Logged |
cherful24
Knowflake Posts: 1515
From: chicago, il
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted April 02, 2014 05:09 PM
I think one of my pasting readings for u was about this....the one where u did a SR reading (i think) and your questions where about this guy and the other...I kept telling you he was bad news! I also said something in terms of how you hold yourself in regards to you being grappedmove on from him. No, he's not karmic. But yes he did like you but it just wasnt right. IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 05:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by cherful24:
I think one of my pasting readings for u was about this....the one where u did a SR reading (i think) and your questions where about this guy and the other...I kept telling you he was bad news! I also said something in terms of how you hold yourself in regards to you being grappedmove on from him. No, he's not karmic. But yes he did like you but it just wasnt right.
Yeah you did. Honestly, I've tried to move on from him ever since day one, but I'm somehow strongly attached. I'm still trying though. I hope I do get over him somehow. IP: Logged |
plutomercjup20
Knowflake Posts: 116
From: I live where you vacation
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 05:36 PM
I am in basically the same situation as you.  Its been two years for me , TWO years liking the same guy , on and off because I would TRY to get over him and I would get over for maybe a week but then out of nowhere my feelings would come back and the cycle would begin again. It hurts honestly. Right now I am trying to get over him but he always sneaks up in my mind at least 5 times everyday. I feel a connection with him (and I feel like he feels one as well with me but the way seem to work out for me... who knows if he feels anything at all -.-) and its very hard for me to like someone for so long but for some reason I am just extremely and deeply attached to him. Hopefully you get over him soon gurl. Just try to keep your mind busy.IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 267
From:
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 05:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by moonstruck87:
When we release the mediocre ******** relationships we allow room for the RIGHT one to come in
Spot on. IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 05:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by plutomercjup20:
I am in basically the same situation as you. Its been two years for me , TWO years liking the same guy , on and off because I would TRY to get over him and I would get over for maybe a week but then out of nowhere my feelings would come back and the cycle would begin again. It hurts honestly. Right now I am trying to get over him but he always sneaks up in my mind at least 5 times everyday. I feel a connection with him (and I feel like he feels one as well with me but the way seem to work out for me... who knows if he feels anything at all -.-) and its very hard for me to like someone for so long but for some reason I am just extremely and deeply attached to him. Hopefully you get over him soon gurl. Just try to keep your mind busy.
Thanks We're exactly in the same situation. I do hope you get over this guy you're talking about as well. IP: Logged |
plutomercjup20
Knowflake Posts: 116
From: I live where you vacation
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 06:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
Thanks We're exactly in the same situation. I do hope you get over this guy you're talking about as well.
Thanks Don't worry ,we will get over them and we probably will laugh about this in a few years. IP: Logged |
Tulipe
Knowflake Posts: 111
From: France
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 06:48 PM
quote:
Can anyone please help me? I need advice on how to actually get over this stupid attachment.
Well, my advice is this isn't stupid. Surely what you feel for him has some positive influences on your life. Maybe it has inspired you to do something creative, maybe it simply was you wake up and was filled with hope in the morning. Your feelings are true, it isn't stupid at all. Now go see some movies, hang out with friends, read some funny books, pamper your beautiful self. 
It's not you, it's him, see? Just kidding.
------------------
what goes up must come
down, so when you're
feeling down, the only
way to be is up IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 856
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2014 07:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Tulipe:
Well, my advice is this isn't stupid. Surely what you feel for him has some positive influences on your life. Maybe it has inspired you to do something creative, maybe it simply was you wake up and was filled with hope in the morning. Your feelings are true, it isn't stupid at all. Now go see some movies, hang out with friends, read some funny books, pamper your beautiful self.
It's not you, it's him, see? Just kidding.
You're actually right about him inspiring me to do something creative. Thanks so much I needed this ^^ lol.
IP: Logged |
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