posted May 05, 2014 07:09 PM            

If anyone has a moment - I'd love a little input on my son. Astrologically or any other way... even opinions and personal experience!

He's a WONDERFUL boy. He was a difficult baby. He had sensory issues he suddenly outgrew when he was 5. He was a very late talker. Teachers thought when he was young that he was autistic. Then he's not autistic but just gifted. Now they say ADD and 'general learning disability', etc. etc. All his teachers say that he is a JOY to have in class except he tends to daydream and sometimes really seems to not know what's going on.

So... he always does well in math, computer and band (he plays trombone) without any input or help from me. On the California state tests last year he scored well above average in ALL areas.

But he's always had issues in classes where a lot of reading/writing is involved. English and History specifically. Science is hit and miss - sometimes he does well and sometimes no. I know some of it is not his fault and it's just the way he is wired but it's hard for me to determine, even as his mom, how much is him just being lazy or not interested in a subject as opposed to his learning disability. Sometimes he gets so confused in these classes, maybe because he is daydreaming or maybe he daydreams because he becomes confused first - hard to say.

Starting in September, I am going back to being a stay at home mom in order to help get him back on track with those classes. It's difficult for me to know the best way to help him and how hard to push him. I don't want him to have to have summer school for the rest of his high school years. Then there is the fact that teen aged boys have their own issues and that may factor in a little (forgetfulness, lazy, disorganized) but some of this has been a life-long challenge for him.

Does his chart indicate anything that may be helpful? I'd appreciate any input.

posted May 05, 2014 09:25 PM            

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Originally posted by Cuteleo85:
Hi MoonWitch,

I'm not sure about his chart. I know the basics, but still learning, so I'll leave that to those with experience; however, since I had similar issues growing up, let me ask you a question, how does he do with arts? Like acting, music, etc. you mentioned he plays an instrument and does well in math. Does he do those things well above average?

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He's way too shy for acting but he really enjoys creating animations and little films. He has mentioned the idea of being a director as a career choice. He enjoys art like painting, has shown some talent (I'll post a pic in a bit) but doesn't do a whole lot of it.

He makes A's in band and math without trying. He doesn't even practice his trombone at home and he is making an A in a school that is one of the highest ranking high schools for band in the country. He's really good with numbers. He remembers our addresses from when he was 5 years old and he remembers license plates of cars we don't even have anymore.

posted May 05, 2014 09:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jerseyshore:
Hi Moon,

Speaking strictly as a mother it is incredibly difficult to watch your child struggle with their limitations. I have a brilliant teenage daughter who struggles in math just as your son does in English, etc. Some have said ADD, some have said math dyslexia and some have said laziness. Taking all of these opinions into account I have quietly watched from the sidelines, done my own investigating & realized she just isn't great with math! Her GPA is well over a 4.0, she is in National honor society, always makes high honors on her report cards, but ONLY because I have her placed in the most basic math class available to her. I also hired a tutor to get her thru last year (before it dawned on us that she was working on a level beyond her grasp). She was seriously stressed out! Between emails, phone calls & meetings...her math teacher and I were able to understand her limits and place her in the appropriate class for the 2013-2014 school year.
Okay so after all of my rambling I do have a point! Is it possible your son is placed in classes too advanced for his level? Also, I know you said it's hard for even you to tell, but do you really FEEL he has issues with ADD, etc? We always know when something is 'off' with our children - though we may not want to admit it. A common thing with ADD is hyper-focus or only focusing on the things they enjoy - struggling with the things they find boring or difficult.
There is an all natural supplement called Attend which has a high success rate with concentration issues. You may want to exlplote that. Also, my pediatrician and I agreed that giving my daughter a mild cup or coffee or tea in the morning greatly improves concentration issues.
Although my daughter doesn't have ADD and has since been diagnosed as absolutely NOT having it, just exploring her concerns and stressors really put her mind at ease. This is such a challenging time for them and I wholeheartedly agree with and support your decision to focus all of your attention on your son. Perhaps meet with his teachers and ask for their input?
Best of luck to you guys! I'm sure he'll be fine!! It's obvious he has a great Mom and that right there can make such a difference.

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Your daughter sounds wonderful <3 Tell her to keep up the good work with her honors!

My son has an IEP so he is awarded special perks because of his learning disability. For instance, if needed he gets extra time on tests or has the option to take the test in an office away from distractions, etc. He also gets a special class at the end of the day called Learning Center that has specialized teachers that are supposed to help keep him focused. I email back and forth with all the teachers he has that he has problems in class with... it seems like a lot of lip service from them. I don't think they really utilize his IEP perks... maybe apathy on their part or maybe they are just overwhelmed with workload. Either way, it'll really be easier for me to get in his teacher's faces personally when I don't have to work 8am to 5pm

OH! And we do have a tutor come to the house on Tuesdays and Thursdays to help him with English and Science.

I think his problems with some classes really are a mix of an attention problem, learning disability that frustrates him and leads to him 'shutting down' AND him just being lazy. If he really pushed himself I know he could at least pass his trouble classes.

posted May 05, 2014 10:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonWitch:

He's way too shy for acting but he really enjoys creating animations and little films. He has mentioned the idea of being a director as a career choice. He enjoys art like painting, has shown some talent (I'll post a pic in a bit) but doesn't do a whole lot of it.

He makes A's in band and math without trying. He doesn't even practice his trombone at home and he is making an A in a school that is one of the highest ranking high schools for band in the country. He's really good with numbers. He remembers our addresses from when he was 5 years old and he remembers license plates of cars we don't even have anymore.

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If he wants to do music and production, I'm pretty sure there are schools that focus on that and where he'd be surrounded by people who are more like him: open minded and dreaming big. If not, try and help him with his struggles, but I would make sure he pursues his passions more than anything else. It's very possible he's just bored, but he doesn't even know it. I know so many people who are geniuses with numbers and logic, but were just thought to be weird in high school. Needless to say, they have great careers now. When your brain picks up things differently, you just see things differently...for him to explain his views to the average joe is like trying to explain calculus to a 1st grader= it's not going to happen.

Realistically, if he had real issues and was really that "distracted", he wouldn't even remember what he had for breakfast let alone addresses from 5 years ago. He's smart, and bored and "daydreaming" keeps his mind stimulated. If you can find a better school for him, explore that option. If not, make the best out it until he graduates (like I did) and then he'll focus on what he wants.

Oh and FYI, I was super shy too (mainly because I was alienated so much), but when I finally left home and started college and acting, I came out of my shell too. I barely passed all my HS finals too except for languages and creative writing (my school had no arts), but then did really well in college with very little effort. I still have to stimulate my mind with different things all the time, but he'll find what works for him too. We're all different.

posted May 05, 2014 11:18 PM            

Many people that do martial arts have mars/uranus square (in my school), predominantly the ones that compete and have gotten to black belt. Because it is a constant challenge. There are many variations and things to factor in when sparring, many things to remember and piece together in a spur of the moment. So he may find something like brazilian jiu jitsu extremely interesting, or JKD which incorporates many different arts into something that you eventually create as your own.

Mars square Neptune (I have this) is common for repressed anger or feelings of any kind. He may not even realize he is repressing things. There's a lot of passion in him that is just sitting there because school, is stifling and boring to him. His imagination is limitless so of course he wanders off. Look at the sun in Pisces in the 12th house. Neptune energy everywhere. What needs to be done is to take that use it in a healthy manner, to express it and turn imagination into reality.

He may come across as really happy go lucky (Jupiter on the asc) but there may be more under the surface. Considering his chart I would stay away from medication or drugs of any kind, more natural plant based things maybe of more help but there may be a leniency to use drugs recreationaly. (I have a friend who is an alcoholic with sun in the 12th)

posted May 06, 2014 12:17 PM            

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Originally posted by Cuteleo85:
if he's good at that why force him to excel in other ares that probably just bore him?

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Oh no - I don't want to force him to EXCEL in areas that he's not good at or doesn't like. I just want him to get a passing grade so he can graduate high school and hopefulllly not have to go to summer school every year! Right now he has a big fat F in English.

posted May 06, 2014 12:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cuteleo85:
He may or may not have ADD, but if I were you, I'd be skeptical; nowadays experts have to diagnose you with something no matter what.

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So true. When he was 3 or 4 they said he was autistic. Then maybe Aspergers. Then gifted. Then ADD. They can't really pin anything on him because he doesn't fit any of those fully. He's a smart kid that is a little quirky. He's a little shy but really opens up once he knows you a little or if you have something in common.

Hell, if I were his age now they'd all be trying to label me with something. I was so shy that in 6th grade my teacher had to ASSIGN a friend to me!

posted May 06, 2014 12:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jerseyshore:

There is an all natural supplement called Attend which has a high success rate with concentration issues. You may want to exlplote that. Also, my pediatrician and I agreed that giving my daughter a mild cup or coffee or tea in the morning greatly improves concentration issues.

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I'll look into Attend and see what that is about!

He does already have some coffee and milk in the mornings - not very strong but he likes it and says it helps him wake up. He's a zombie in the morning

Another reason I'm looking forward to being a stay at home mom - more time to make proper breakfasts and dinners and less premade foods!! I think that may help things as well to go back to some basics.

posted May 06, 2014 01:47 PM            

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Originally posted by MoonWitch:
Thank you, littlecloud. I wouldn't really say he seems happy-go-lucky but he does describe himself and 'gentle' and likes things generally to be quiet and laid-back. He's emotional in that he is quick to cry if he gets frustrated - much like his mom - when I get angry or frustrated I tend to cry. I've only ever seen him get really angry when our dog died unexpectedly a couple years ago. He threw some things in his room then. It was heartbreaking.

Maybe I should be looking for ways to help him get out any repressed anger... He has two loving parents and a loving step-father but I know the divorce was hard on him several years ago even though I tried to shield him from as much negativity as I could. And this summer we are moving to another state which he is not particularly happy about.

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See if he's interested in martial arts. I know I'm a bit biased on the matter since I've been doing it for 3 years now. I had always been interested and fascinated with martial arts in movies and such. I did karate in high school for a little bit and then stopped. I'm not a big fan of going to the gym to just workout, I find it boring. The final push to get me back into martial arts was my abusive relationship. I had gone within myself so deeply I couldn't find a way out. One day I noticed the logo on a guys t-shirt and asked him about it, went to the place and signed up. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made. It's not just a physical challenge but a mental one as well. I've become more centered, whole, and calm since joining.

Partnering up with people will help the shyness as well. It forces you to communicate with people and to be aware of them as well as yourself. Sometimes something simple as tai chi can be soothing and still powerful in effect (as a defense).

Getting counseling would help too but many aren't really up for sharing things so openly. That is my best advice based on his chart. I have the same t-square he does as well except mine point to mars (mars, venus, Neptune) it's very nebulous and multilayered. I can relate to him a lot.

Also the staying home and cooking meals for him will also be a huge help to his health, mental too. Try and get him to cook with you from time to time.

posted May 06, 2014 02:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonWitch:
So true. When he was 3 or 4 they said he was autistic. Then maybe Aspergers. Then gifted. Then ADD. They can't really pin anything on him because he doesn't fit any of those fully. He's a smart kid that is a little quirky. He's a little shy but really opens up once he knows you a little or if you have something in common.

Hell, if I were his age now they'd all be trying to label me with something. I was so shy that in 6th grade my teacher had to ASSIGN a friend to me!

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Yeah, I didn't mean you were trying to make him excel, but teachers probably do. From what you're telling him you're doing the best you can and make sure he passes so he can move on. That's all he needs. He'll find his way when he leaves HS. Good luck!

posted May 19, 2014 04:54 PM            

They are all working in groups now and my son doesn't participate with the other kids which is frustrating them. He doesn't ask the teacher any questions. She said either he's not reading the book assignments or he is having a really bad problem with the tests. He gets a test and stares at it for most of the class and then tries to answer a couple questions towards the end and leaves most of the questions blank.

*faceplant*

posted May 19, 2014 06:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonWitch:
So... his computer, iPhone and iPad are on shutdown. I don't know what else to do.

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posted May 19, 2014 06:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonWitch:
Just got an email from his English teacher.

They are all working in groups now and my son doesn't participate with the other kids which is frustrating them. He doesn't ask the teacher any questions. She said either he's not reading the book assignments or he is having a really bad problem with the tests. He gets a test and stares at it for most of the class and then tries to answer a couple questions towards the end and leaves most of the questions blank.

*faceplant*

So... his computer, iPhone and iPad are on shutdown. I don't know what else to do.

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Does he have any issues with the teacher or students? It may not be the material at all but the environment.

posted May 19, 2014 06:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by KingofCups:
Speaking from the perspective of a teenage boy, I don't think that that's the best route. I'm fairly certain that grounding of any sort has been proven less effective than talking about it thoroughly and/or eminently displaying disappointment. When something is taken away, it only inspires anger and bitterness and possibly even more rebelliousness. On the other hand, when someone you know cares about you shows that they're disappointed in you, it makes you feel bad and actually reflect and see how to improve yourself. In the case of speaking about it thoroughly, it helps him to actually address his own issues, which seem like they'd be immensely frustrating for him, and allows him to feel like you're trying to understand him instead of punishing him unjustly for something that he doesn't feel is entirely his fault.

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posted May 19, 2014 06:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by littlecloud:
Agree

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posted May 20, 2014 03:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonWitch:
I try to steer away from asking for any kinds of readings because I know how time consuming it can be and that people are overwhelmed.

If anyone has a moment - I'd love a little input on my son. Astrologically or any other way... even opinions and personal experience!

He's a WONDERFUL boy. He was a difficult baby. He had sensory issues he suddenly outgrew when he was 5. He was a very late talker. Teachers thought when he was young that he was autistic. Then he's not autistic but just gifted. Now they say ADD and 'general learning disability', etc. etc. All his teachers say that he is a JOY to have in class except he tends to daydream and sometimes really seems to not know what's going on.

So... he always does well in math, computer and band (he plays trombone) without any input or help from me. On the California state tests last year he scored well above average in ALL areas.

But he's always had issues in classes where a lot of reading/writing is involved. English and History specifically. Science is hit and miss - sometimes he does well and sometimes no. I know some of it is not his fault and it's just the way he is wired but it's hard for me to determine, even as his mom, how much is him just being lazy or not interested in a subject as opposed to his learning disability. Sometimes he gets so confused in these classes, maybe because he is daydreaming or maybe he daydreams because he becomes confused first - hard to say.

Starting in September, I am going back to being a stay at home mom in order to help get him back on track with those classes. It's difficult for me to know the best way to help him and how hard to push him. I don't want him to have to have summer school for the rest of his high school years. Then there is the fact that teen aged boys have their own issues and that may factor in a little (forgetfulness, lazy, disorganized) but some of this has been a life-long challenge for him.

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Sometimes its very difficult to discern a "gifted" child from one that is struggling.

I don't know when government is going to get a clue(even in my country) as to the fact that , when it comes to schooling, the "one size fits all" rule is not productive.

Its uncanny and even eery just how similar the chart of your son is like mine.

I'm also a cusp baby and so is he and I was the same, the same, the same during my school career.

I see that your son and I also share the same Asc/MC sign placements and have similar Neptune interferences in our charts.

From what I see, i think he is bored with the "ordinary" and is quite restless. And let me explain why I am of this opinion:

Neptune and Uranus interfere with the major planets in his chart and they are all about what you mentioned; forgetfulness, inconsistencies,a "maverick" approach to doing things and a generally "uninspired" and even rebellious attitude towards structure and order.

Neptune aspects his Sun/Moon/Mercury/Venus/Jupiter and Saturn.

Uranus aspects Moon/Mars/Jupiter.

Mercury and Jupiter are all about learning and reasoning.Moon is adjustment and coping whilst Neptune/Uranus are about inspiration, "out of the box thinking" and bright ideas.

So, as we see, the challenging aspects between them can create quite a tense atmosphere for a parent who so desperately wants their child to "fit in" and "be like the rest" etc.

The aspect of Neptune to Mercury and Jupiter suggests to me that, unless what he is learning has some sort of magical,mythical, religious connotation, its not likely to stick. He doesn't do well with facts and figures.

Uranus sitting on the Moon and Mars suggest restlessness. Moon opposite Mars itself is inner tension and the inability to sit still.The individual needs and wants challenges or will "create" them(and you definitely don't want this). This is further emphasized by the square to Uranus of both.

You'd think that the Saturn conjunct Moon and Venus would discipline him. And it certainly does, now and then, but Neptune comes in and dissolves all that(in no time) with the square aspect it makes with Saturn.

The ruler of his Asc(Mars) is in the 6th but is flirting very closely with the 7th. So there is a desire to please others and "tow the line"-so to speak.

But the square aspect with Uranus will certainly add rebellion and a need to just "break off chains" at a moments notice.

The ruler of his MC is Saturn. But the square aspect to Neptune suggests that he could be feeling "lost" mostly his whole life: That is if whatever he does does not give him some kind of broad spiritual framework.

My advice;

1.You can be more supportive of the things he does do well in and inspire him in that direction.

2. Show interest in things outside the "norm" i.e alternative music, authors, art, movies etc.

3. Create a space where there is discussion about possibilities i.e when watching a television program about some sort of revolutionary product/controversial issue, try to look at it from both sides and discuss it in that light.

This will impress him as it will suggest to him that you have a very broad mind and won't ridicule him with any outlandish ideas he may have.

4.Change the atmosphere at home often. Not in the traumatic sense of the word lol. But what I mean is that, on some nights, eat out or cook up some exotic dish.

Also, do some decorations at home that border on the alternative or change the "feel" of the home often

What I am emphasizing here is; inspiration, inspiration, inspiration.

Its quite challenging to keep things interesting, but the rewards are beneficial for you both. The alternative is trying to get his round square peg to fit into a round hole(not fun).

Just get into that and you'll be fine.

In my case, my upbringing involved a lot of changes- there was always something going on at home and so, i never felt restless or desired to run away.

My siblings and I are also open to alternative things; music, art, fashion and the like. We really dislike the mundane and "normal".

He'll find his own way. It's just that, with Neptune, he needs a little assistance.