posted May 13, 2014 07:29 PM            

First of all, scorpio NN is generational. Hundreds of thousands of people have this. I happen to have it in my fifth house.

Everyone has "difficult" charts in one way or Another. Just like every single person has difficulties.

posted May 13, 2014 08:55 PM            

Sometimes it's perspective.
I have a very concentrated chart like yours.
My planets are in family and partially public houses.
I have done pretty well, But I think Saturn is holding me back till later on life.

posted May 13, 2014 10:09 PM            

Sun-moon conjunct is a gear aspect. Makes you in fund with your own feelings. Then this conjunct trine jupiter. U seem pretty lucky to me.

Pluto trine jupiter - one of the best aspect to have.

Mars and venus widely conjunct in the same sign, not badly aspected by anything

The only hard aspect us saturn square uranus but it's also trine neptune. Saturn is in 7th, and that's a good placement. And isn't your stellium trining your Asc???

posted May 13, 2014 10:43 PM            

There is really nothing going for me now. Job is awful. No relationship. No kids. Lots of problems with my health. Bad relationship with my family. It goes on and on.

posted May 13, 2014 11:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by theunknown:
Your chart isn't bad. You have taurus IC, jupiter in 4th so you clearly have stable child hood.

Sun-moon conjunct is a gear aspect. Makes you in fund with your own feelings. Then this conjunct trine jupiter. U seem pretty lucky to me.

Pluto trine jupiter - one of the best aspect to have.

Mars and venus widely conjunct in the same sign, not badly aspected by anything

The only hard aspect us saturn square uranus but it's also trine neptune. Saturn is in 7th, and that's a good placement. And isn't your stellium trining your Asc???

Your chart is pretty good. You should watch Penny Astrology's vid on Saturn in 7th.

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It sounds to me (still...) like your mindset is what's kicking you in the butt fauxcoat.

I promise, I'm not trying to be hateful when I say this at all, I swear that I'm not; but someone clearly knowledgeable just told you (again) that your chart, while challenged (who's isn't), is not horrible. But you'll come back in two weeks, with another chart, wondering what in your chart indicates the horrible life you have and if fate will ever step in to make it better. It makes me very sad for you, because I TRULY FEEL like you have beaten yourself down into such a place that you can't see daylight anymore. And you argue with people who tell you that it doesn't _have_ to be as bad as you feel like it is.

The defeatist element is YOU. You're BETTER than this. And YOU'RE the only one who can change it and aspire to the actual potential that shows in your chart. And YOU have that power WELL within your grasp... But you don't know it. You're so wrapped up in trying to blame it on something that's out of your control. That's the easy way out. It's not out of your control, not one bit. Take ownership.

I want you to succeed. I want you to know the power that you possess. But I (nor anyone else) can give it to you by osmosis or divine transference - it's yours already. The very best thing you could do for yourself right now is to block astro.com from your computer and forget that it exists; take some yoga classes. Guided meditation. ANYTHING that will guide you inside yourself and help you claim that power that I KNOW YOU HAVE.

And I so hope you believe me when I say that not word of this is said out of anything but a sincere desire to see you happy.

posted May 13, 2014 11:36 PM            

How would you feel if you had *none* of these and it didn't look like any were going to happen? It isn't my mindset. I think that is what is said to me when no one wants to say the truth.

I am saying that if my chart shows luck or that it really isn't that bad...then why do I have nothing in life that brings me any joy. It is *not* I repeat *not* for lack of trying. I have tried everything and I have at times been in a position in my life where I had to lift others up but when it was my turn I got dumped on. Sometimes life knocks people down. I have been knocked down by many.

posted May 13, 2014 11:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LostTaurus:
It sounds to me (still...) like your mindset is what's kicking you in the butt fauxcoat.

I promise, I'm not trying to be hateful when I say this at all, I swear that I'm not; but someone clearly knowledgeable just told you (again) that your chart, while challenged (who's isn't), is not horrible. But you'll come back in two weeks, with another chart, wondering what in your chart indicates the horrible life you have and if fate will ever step in to make it better. It makes me very sad for you, because I TRULY FEEL like you have beaten yourself down into such a place that you can't see daylight anymore. And you argue with people who tell you that it doesn't _have_ to be as bad as you feel like it is.

The defeatist element is YOU. You're BETTER than this. And YOU'RE the only one who can change it and aspire to the actual potential that shows in your chart. And YOU have that power WELL within your grasp... But you don't know it. You're so wrapped up in trying to blame it on something that's out of your control. That's the easy way out. It's not out of your control, not one bit. Take ownership.

I want you to succeed. I want you to know the power that you possess. But I (nor anyone else) can give it to you by osmosis or divine transference - it's yours already. The very best thing you could do for yourself right now is to block astro.com from your computer and forget that it exists; take some yoga classes. Guided meditation. ANYTHING that will guide you inside yourself and help you claim that power that I KNOW YOU HAVE.

And I so hope you believe me when I say that not word of this is said out of anything but a sincere desire to see you happy.

---

posted May 14, 2014 01:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by fauxcoat:
LostTaurus - how old are you? Do you have a significant other/spouse? kids? a good job? a nice home?

How would you feel if you had *none* of these and it didn't look like any were going to happen? It isn't my mindset. I think that is what is said to me when no one wants to say the truth.

I am saying that if my chart shows luck or that it really isn't that bad...then why do I have nothing in life that brings me any joy. It is *not* I repeat *not* for lack of trying. I have tried everything and I have at times been in a position in my life where I had to lift others up but when it was my turn I got dumped on. Sometimes life knocks people down. I have been knocked down by many.

I am just asking if my luck has run out (ie. my luck was in my childhood). Or is my luck to be later in life?

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fauxcoat - I turned 44 years old yesterday. I was told when I was 17 that I'd never have children; I now have a 19 year old daughter who's a double major sophomore in college. I raised her basically by myself. Her father was an alcoholic, drug addict, schizophrenic. He died 5 years ago - a drug- and alcohol-induced heart attack. He was 38. But he hadn't been in her life since she was 4 anyway.

You see, I realized once I became a Mom that the careless lifestyle I'd pursued up to the point of her existence wasn't going to serve her in any way at all not in practicality or by example, so I cobbled together what I could and made a life for us. It was the only choice I had, after all.

As for me, I wanted to be a doctor from the time I could remember wanting to be anything. A brain surgeon. But then when I was 13, my whole world fell apart. My mom and dad had divorced many years earlier - he was a truly horrible person, it was for the best. She'd remarried, and the guy was a truly good man - the closest thing I'd known to a loving father in my whole life.

Only she decided, when I was 13, that she didn't want to be a wife - or really even a mother - anymore. she started dating, even before she was separated from my stepdad, leaving me at home as the oldest sibling to be sure that my little sisters and my stepdad were fed, bathed, clothed, gotten up in the mornings, and cared for like they deserved...at 13.

This went on for two years. Then she finally decided she was finished just playing single and really wanted to be that. So she divorced the only real dad I'd ever known and moved us away from him and my stepsisters. After she moved us, she decided she REALLY didn't want to be a mom anymore, so she just...stopped. I got a job at 15 on a hardship permit, because if I hadn't I wouldn't've eaten. She took up with a 22 year old who still lived at home with his own mom and dad, so certainly had NO concept for parenthood; and somehow his lack of practical knowledge of the commitment of parenthood made her own horrible behavior as a parent okay.

I was lost. Alone. A kid with an utterly shattered heart and no one close enough to give a damn. I was too ashamed to tell my friends (though many of them came from similarly shattered homes as well - it was the great unspoken commonality that drew us together, I suppose).

By the time I was 17, I was working two **** jobs in addition to going to school, but they paid the bills and kept me fed. I was driving a **** car (a Renault Alliance - I went through 7 batteries and 4 alternators in the 3 years I owned it), but it got me around.

I was accepted on full scholarship to Georgetown University in Washington. That was my dream school. When I told my mom, she said it was ridiculous of me to think I could possibly live halfway across the country without her (like her contribution to that point had been so freaking substantial). But that little kid in me who only wanted to finally make my mom proud was destroyed again. I could never figure out what I'd done so wrong to be so not-loved by her. I gave up.

By the time I was 18, I was strung out on pills and crystal meth - and that was from back in the day when it was 'Gorilla Dope', not this bathtub crap people shoot in their veins nowadays - and working THREE jobs to support myself, my **** car, and my growing habit. Why'd I start the drugs? I was begging - BEGGING - for someone to give a damn enough to stop me. I was a dumb, desperate kid, crying out for...something, anything. That's why.

That's about the time I met my daughter's dad. He was handsome, just a little dangerous, and he commanded any room he walked into, at the time. But the schizophrenia hadn't really manifested yet.

When it did, about 2 years later, it came on like a storm, but I still thought it was just the drugs and alcohol; that it would "get better"; that we'd grow beyond it. Then came the knives to my throat and the gun to my head...but none of that happened until I found out I was pregnant. Then he broke my ankle, pushing me down a flight of stairs. He went into hospital after that, swearing he was going to quit it all - I had the very moment I'd found out about her. Cold turkey. If not for the grace of God, I wouldn't have survived. But I did. And she didn't just survive, she flourished. Thank God.

We separated and divorced once and for all when she was almost 4. Through all of the physical, mental and emotional abuse; through the probably hundreds of nights of being chased from my house in fear, wearing nothing but a nightgown, my baby curled half-sleeping my terrified arms, the defining moment for me was when he involved her in our fights. He started railing, I started inching my way toward the door, calling my daughter as I went. When she came from her room, a shoebox filled with crayons clutched in her sweet, chubby little hands, a favorite stuffed bear perched on top; head down, fiercely focused on the door before her, something clicked. That my precious gift from God was, at the gentle age of not-quite-four, performing like a well-oiled machine at the process of escaping her dad when things went dark disgusted me about myself. I vowed she would never have to perform that processional again.

I went back to working 3 jobs to make sure that she had everything she needed, even if it wasn't everything she wanted. And she is truly Divine.

When I got that call from her dad's mother - 5 years ago, this June 7th - saying that he'd been found dead in his bathroom floor after no one had heard from him for 3 days, replete with gory details I won't recount here...well, something broke. But for once in my life, it was in a good way. It didn't happen overnight, but it happened.

Once my daughter was old enough that she didn't need me right by her side anymore, I finally went to school. I graduated with a nursing degree this past Friday. I'll graduate with a Doctorate in Nursing in 3 years. I'm thinking either nurse anesthetist or trauma nurse - and I'm told I'll be great at either one I choose. I'm a paid and published writer. I've co-written a play that went to stage for a 5-day run. I'm an avid and passionate advocate for anything smaller and/or weaker than me, including animals, the homeless, veterans and the battered. I have lived true sorrow and survived it; I owe it to those who haven't found their way out of it yet (but want to) to do what I can. And yes...though it's still very new, I have an amazing and exceptional man who - for the first time in my life - truly loves and admires me for exactly who I am. And I love him.

As for my daughter? She was accepted to the Art Institute of Dallas on a full scholarship right out of high school. While the mother in me prayed that she'd defer that acceptance - so far away from home in a city that can be pretty fierce - to when she was at least a college junior, I didn't want to discourage or temper her enthusiasm in any way; so I just made myself her #1 cheerleader. She decided on her own to defer her acceptance until her junior year. I'm so proud of the wisdom and presence she displays. She is EVERYTHING that I was too afraid to be, for so long. She is my hero.

And the moral of this story? I'm nothing special. I'm not one damn bit better than any one of you guys. I just got tired of believing the lies I'd been told by my dad, my mom, my ex...and even myself.

posted May 14, 2014 01:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by fauxcoat:
LostTaurus - how old are you? Do you have a significant other/spouse? kids? a good job? a nice home?

How would you feel if you had *none* of these and it didn't look like any were going to happen? It isn't my mindset. I think that is what is said to me when no one wants to say the truth.

I am saying that if my chart shows luck or that it really isn't that bad...then why do I have nothing in life that brings me any joy. It is *not* I repeat *not* for lack of trying. I have tried everything and I have at times been in a position in my life where I had to lift others up but when it was my turn I got dumped on. Sometimes life knocks people down. I have been knocked down by many.

I am just asking if my luck has run out (ie. my luck was in my childhood). Or is my luck to be later in life?

---

Honestly, fauxcoat, I am somewhat knowledgeable about natal chart in Vedic, Western and Easter (which often is not discussed in any English page). Every single of these tradition emphasizes free will. Every single of them.

A good chart doesn't mean anything. It means you will go through life with less troubles than others. But it does not indicate what you will get. To have things, you have to work for them.

My current roommate also has a very lucky chart. She insists that she is not lucky. The other day her uncle sent her $9000. She went to Scotland alone, didn't plan out anything, almost got lost, met this random lady who took her to where she should go. That's luck for you. Others would have been robbed, raped, murdered.

She has uranus being her strongest planet and Jupiter being her second strongest.

What I have noticed though is sometimes lucky people do not know how lucky they are. They are content. They don't realize things don't come easily to others.

another example: I forgot my keys once and was worrying if i lost it. My roommate respond: "Oh, just leave it there and a day or two your keys will show up."

As someone with heavy saturnian chart, if I don't keep check on things, bad things happen to me. Keys don't just show up. I would have to pay $300 fine.

Sometimes you just need to look back and think about good things that just happened to you that didn't have to happen to anybody else.

posted May 14, 2014 01:41 AM            

You have had some good things and some difficult things happen in life. The point is that you have had some *good* things. I have had many, many struggles. Lost loved ones. Stress from which ruined my health. I have worked hard in jobs but was laid off and I am now working a job that is not great nor what I want to do. I am not saying I want a lightning burst to form out of the sky and create a perfect job for me. I know I have to work hard to get a career going again, but at my age I have a lot going against me.

posted May 14, 2014 02:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by fauxcoat:
@ Twirl - Yes

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You are a 37/10/1 numerologically, which relates to the wheel of fortune in tarot. The Wheel of Fortune as your life card makes it a lesson to keep going with the flow/sign of the times & learning to adept to changes all the time. When spinning, the wheel creates as well, sometimes upward, sometimes downward. But it also has the ability to keep culminating more of the same.
When insecure & expecting people to leave & not having found the center of the wheel yet (yourself, your base, your inner security), that's the reality you create. (This is very much related to being a 37/10). Others do not know the answers, you do. Starting to trust that, helps.

Since you are also a one (Magician, the creator) & in the Higher end The Sun (freedom through seeing truth).

When resisting changes, trying to hold on to something in a similar shape it will not work. The Wheel has to move & do their little dance of time and movement with the universe. You can not exclude yourself from it, you are still the wheel.

So once you see that (nothing is meant to stay the same), you can start working with those energies to work for you.