Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 24, 2014 07:48 AM            

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So I joined yet another dating site. On Friday I had this guy message me and we ended up exchanging numbers and texting all weekend. He was super sweet and cut too add. Anyway, we made plans to meet tonight for something casual, just a cup of coffee. He texted me very flirty and sweetly all morning yesterday. Last night I texted him to see the when/where of our plans for tonight. His only answer was "I'm sorry I can't talk anymore." I texted him back saying what happened did I do something that sort of thing. He didnt answer. Didnt expect him too. But what happened?? Could someone, anyone please take a quick look for me? I don't want to dwell on it forever but I just would like to know if it was me or another woman or anything else. Is he completely gone or will he answer me?

Much appreciation and thanks to anyone willing to look. I'm so bummed out today, he was really nice! Or so I thought.

Oh by the way his first initial is A.

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Posts: 1028
From: Ingerland
Registered: Jan 2014

posted June 24, 2014 09:41 AM            

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You dodged a bullet. Relax about it and don't get to attached to someone you have never met in person. You will end up falling for the idea of them, not who they really are. Have no expectations when meeting a person for the first time and you can be pleasantly surprised.

Personal experience- out of the 10 ish dates organised online, only 50% showed up in person. It's not you, it's him. I seriously feel he was in a breaking relationship and was sniffing around.

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 24, 2014 09:52 AM            

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Thanks Mincey! In an odd twist of events he just texted me to apologize and said he's having financial troubles and can't start a relationship with his troubles. I said that fine and offered to listen to him should he want to talk. He wants to call me in a little while. I said ok but I'm not promising him anything. Am I being a fool?

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Posts: 1028
From: Ingerland
Registered: Jan 2014

posted June 24, 2014 11:16 AM            

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I say stay well away from being romantic with him.

Friends- ok, but nothing more. I'm not a fan of his energy.

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 24, 2014 11:19 AM            

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That's what I was thinking. Keeping it friendly. Thanks for your insight!

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Posts: 908
From:
Registered: Jun 2013

posted June 24, 2014 05:00 PM            

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Hey fairy, be careful that he won't ask you for money.

But yeah, like Mincey said, it's funny with online dating, one day they're chatting to you, the next day disappear.

I met someone who seemed interested and then cancelled twice our date on the day although the day before we would text and it was all good.

You learn not to dwell on them for longer than a day and move on...

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Posts: 4741
From: In my 1st house Uranus and Neptune
Registered: May 2011

posted June 24, 2014 05:06 PM            

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Ha from that he is a flaky and distrustful character. He probably has another woman or talking to several girls. I'd say don't talk to him period.

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Posts: 81
From:
Registered: May 2014

posted June 24, 2014 05:24 PM            

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When you catch a fish, you don't worry why all the other fish didn't take the bait. He jumped the hook is all. Hundreds of reasons it happens and only a few of them might have anything to do with you.

In my online dating experience, I would be careful about talking in this instance. You may end up as his emotional support system without getting... or wanting... a date.

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 24, 2014 05:47 PM            

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Yeah this is certainly an interesting one. We did talk today and he told me his story. Has to do with child support issues. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. I'm still not trusting the situation and treading very carefully. It's not like we're engaged or anything. It's the nature of the beast. You start chatting and if it doesn't work out you end it. I'm just not sure this is going to be something for me. We may be too different.

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 27, 2014 08:16 AM            

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Just wanted to come back and update. We did end up meeting for awhile on Tuesday night. Things seemed to go well and we've been texting ever since. Not sure when we will see each other again, I was hoping to maybe see him tonight. I have a feeling there may be an ex still hanging around though. Going slow and trying to be careful. I don't trust easily so I'm trying to take it slow. Anyone have any advice or insight for me?

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 27, 2014 05:05 PM            

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Just wanted to bump this up one more time.

I have to admit today we seem to have gone a little arctic. Not sure what to expect out of this if anything. I'm very confused. Funny how things change so drastically throughout the course of one day. But the coldness isn't from me, it's him.

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Posts: 1388
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted June 27, 2014 06:45 PM            

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You met this guy once...You don't even know him, I think you're jumping the gun. Relax lol ... getting stressed over sb you literally only met a few days agoIis a waste of energy
Change ur energy to one of abundance and calmness hun ♡

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 27, 2014 07:17 PM            

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Thanks! I just get so insecure. Like I feel like I'm always trying and failing. I never know if it's too much or not enough. I guess I have a good feeling about this guy and I wanted something good to come from it. I'm not expecting a ring or anything just wanted a nice relationship.

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Posts: 908
From:
Registered: Jun 2013

posted June 27, 2014 07:34 PM            

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Hey Fairy, just wanted to bring this paragraph from my favorite book - "When you are mate shopping, operate out of a sense of abundance, not scarcity. Deliberately increase the flow of people through your life.
If you were searching for the perfect wallpaper, you wouldn't bring home one sample, live with it for six months, and then take it back and try another sample for six months. Yet that is how many people treat their search for a mate. They finally get one date, if they like the person even a little, they begin evaluating this individual against their highest standards, struggling to make the relationship work. They behave as though this is the last person they will ever have a chance to meet. They may even date the person for six months knowing full well that he or she is far from ideal..."

The idea is basically to date more guys but have shorter dates (she recommends having the two hour date). I've started doing that, I haven't been dating much but I have been going to more singles events and mingling with more guys - and I feel that now I know better when I have a click with someone and when I don't much faster.

And for me I prefer singles events than online dating... I dunno online dating doesn't work for me...

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 27, 2014 07:44 PM            

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Wow that was powerful! I agree online dating isn't easy and I'm not very good at it either. I have no expectations and do the coffee date. In and out sort of thing. No pressure and I'm very upfront with that. I just get confused because like, this guy has been hot all week. Texting and calling me and I didnt initiate it. He did. I went with it because obviously I was interested and he clearly showed me he was. I just don't know what to think now. I'm hoping to see him again though so we'll see.

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Posts: 908
From:
Registered: Jun 2013

posted June 27, 2014 08:01 PM            

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Yeah, been there! Now I'm like - if there's going to be another date, OK, if not, that's fine too. I don't get to attached to the outcome.

But I hope you'll get another date so you can see if you would want to progress with him

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 27, 2014 08:06 PM            

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My favorite is when they talk to you for like a week straight then all of a sudden decide nah I'm done. And ignore you!! I've been stood up blown off and everything else under the sun. But oddly, the second I start talking to someone new all the old ones have a radar and they suddenly all message me again! Never fails!

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Posts: 908
From:
Registered: Jun 2013

posted June 27, 2014 08:12 PM            

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Haha! So true!

Yeah, there are those who chat non stop and then poof gone, no reason... Those who decide on a meeting and then disappear... Those who chat to you the day before the date and when you confirm in the morning they suddenly have to cancel - those are the ones I think about for a day and then move on (if they come back... Sometimes after a month I don't bother responding )

Haven't had someone who really interested me in a long time though... The guys I meet are nice (from the events) but don't have that click =/

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 27, 2014 08:17 PM            

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That's how I feel. Most I don't click with. This one I felt that click. Don't get me wrong I'm not planning the wedding it just felt nice to have that again. It's the click I've been hoping to find again since P.

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Posts: 908
From:
Registered: Jun 2013

posted June 27, 2014 09:34 PM            

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Awww I understand... I hope he'll be back to his chatty mood then and you can meet once more!

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 27, 2014 10:08 PM            

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Thanks for chatting with me St@r! I hope he does text me tomorrow. Trying to think positively.

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 29, 2014 09:47 PM            

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How quickly things can turn on you. Well after a week of texting and talking and a rather great meeting, I haven't heard from A since Friday. I had asked him if he wanted to get together on Friday night and he said he couldn't. I suggested maybe over the weekend and he answered with "i'll let you know." I haven't tried to text him since yesterday. I only sent him a "good morning" text. Got no response from that. I'm assuming he's done? I don't know. I just don't get it anymore. I'm not so much as upset as I am frustrated.

Would anyone look at this for me please and tell me if he's going to contact me again? I don't care about timing, just want to know if I should expect to hear from him or to give it up. Thanks in advance.

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Posts: 4741
From: In my 1st house Uranus and Neptune
Registered: May 2011

posted June 29, 2014 10:03 PM            

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I notice you didn't say anything when I called him flaky.. how come?

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Posts: 662
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted June 29, 2014 10:06 PM            

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I do remember that and I just reread your post. Yeah I would say that could definitely apply!

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Posts: 1388
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted June 30, 2014 10:39 PM            

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If someone says "we'll see" or "I'll let you know" theyre not interested. If a man if into you, it's obvious by his actions. He would make effort and be communicative. The current guy im seeing was an old ex from a little over two years ago-this guy calls me at least 4-5 times a day and is super consistent. If they were into u you wouldn't need to make much effort.

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