posted August 16, 2014 02:41 AM            

i just can`t see myself living anymore, life has been **** for the past two years, i feel i fail everything i put my heart into and I feel so lost. i don`t know who i am and where I am going and i wish i had some stability, and i found myself and could find a group of likeminded friends. i keep a distance from people, i surround myself by ''empty'' relationships (i get lots of likes, comments whatever on facebook, or have lovers with no emotional connection; to an outsider I have no reason to be sad, i seem to lead a happy life) because deep down i feel i`m a fraud and don`t deserve happiness and real friends. i feel no one cares, and the fact that most of my close friends are away this weekend doesn`t help...

i feel incredibly lonely, unloved and useless. i have been a waste of air and food for two years, i feel i don`t deserve to live on this planet, i haven`t done anything to earn it though i`ve tried. i`ve failed. the sadness i feel today is the same sadness i felt my last birthday multiplied by a lot. i don`t think i can live another year of disapointments. i just want to end it, and die in my sleep. (i don`t want to commit suicide, i just want to die if that makes sense...)

i lost the boy i loved, the job i thought i was meant to do, my close friends and i grew apart and i`m unable to meet and maintain new friendships, i feel worthless and ugly (though rationally i know i am not a terrible person who doesn`t deserve good things), my family doesn`t accept me and constantly tries to change me.

if anyone know how to read solar returns, or birthchats, can you tell me if there is hope? or if there isn't how to make the rest of my life go smoother? i can`t stop crying right now and just need a sign that everything will be ok, better than okay, stellar and that all this suffering will be replaced by good things. the hard earned lessons will leave space for rewards.

posted August 16, 2014 02:50 AM            

You have to depend on yourself. Don't worry if people aren't there for you. The greatest thing in life is being dependent on yourself. Its nice to have emotional support and all that, but if you don't have it right now, don't let it make you feel that way. Find strength in yourself and your solitude and learn to love all that you are. If people don't accept you, its to teach you something great about yourself.

Look at people who have the emotional support of others, do they seem better off than you? They are probably worse off.

Its hard to love something that isn't real. and by that i mean your human facade. Learn to love your divinity and you will find out that life is worth living. We are here to help each other and thats all.

You can do something that can make your life worth while you know. Something really great.

You can help us heal the earth. That is enough to keep living on. You aren't the only one in pain. The whole world is in pain.

posted August 16, 2014 08:00 AM            

This is a harder solar return for a happy Leo. Lots of earth in this chart. Earth is wonderful and we need it to grow things but the problem is it can weight us down. As much as I love Virgo, it can analyze anything to the point that even the thing it is analyzing wants to up and off the planet. though I am a scorpio I have 3 major planets in virgo. It keeps me grounded but boy can they be a downer sometimes.

Uranus will soon enter the 8th house of this solar return and that will get you to feeling better again. There are good times ahead. You are a leo and dont ever forget that. You make the room light up just by entering it. As the sun rules your planet. How great is that. It is hard when rain comes to fire because the fire has a hard time coming back to light. It is .... So... there are no words when the rain comes... none that I can think but you have my love and support. I can send you all the good vibes I can muster. There are many, many good days ahead.

posted August 16, 2014 08:25 AM            

As for your SR, Uranus in the 11th house indicates some instability and sudden changes in terms of friendships. Chiron in the 11th adds pain to your friendships. Moon in the 12th in an intercepted sign could denote that your true feelings this year will be kept hidden and misunderstood by others in the outside world. But since it's exalted in an earth sign, you will find ways to keep it together and make it through this year. You will find contacts and romance this year through the local neighborhood. Relationships are meant to be of a superficial nature for you this year. There will be a lack of depth in it since Venus is in the 3rd house. You will possibly have many romantic encounters. As for your career, you may find it hard to exert yourself this year as Neptune will be in your 10th house opposing your natal Mars. But not to worry, though. Your SR Saturn and Mars are in your 6th house. This gives you the drive and stability to work hard whether it be maintaining your health or in the workplace. Your ego (the Sun) is still in your 4th house and is tied to your family and home life. Your way of thinking is in line with this.

All I can say is that if your family can't accept you for who you are and if you find that you are constantly trying to wear a mask just to impress them, then stop. It's not up to them to tell you who you are and who you become. Yes, they are your family, but your life is yours. It's either you keep trying to make them happy but yourself or get them completely disappointed in you, but you being happy with yourself. It's really up to you to make that change in your life. If you want change, you'd have to work on it. Stop thinking so negatively as this will only attract negative energies into your life. If you start being optimistic about things, you will enable yourself to act on things that will ultimately bring good to your life. So get up and be that amazing lioness you are. Just like tphoenix5 said, we Leos light up everything. Stay strong. You'll get through this

------------------
Gemini Rising
Sun in Leo (2nd house)
Moon in Cancer (1st house)
Mercury in Virgo (3rd house conj.)
Venus in Virgo (3rd house)
Mars in Libra (5th house)

"You were born a lion. Don't die
a sheep." ~ Leos ♌️

posted August 16, 2014 08:54 AM            

Make plans for the future. Talk to people. If you don't have anyone to talk to, go to a religious temple and ask for guidance, they most likely won't turn away if they see you are in pain. Tell someone about the thoughts you have in your mind. Share your pain. You are not alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And it does get better, eventually. You just need to power through this.

posted September 10, 2014 09:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
Don't give up.

You have to depend on yourself. Don't worry if people aren't there for you. The greatest thing in life is being dependent on yourself. Its nice to have emotional support and all that, but if you don't have it right now, don't let it make you feel that way. Find strength in yourself and your solitude and learn to love all that you are. If people don't accept you, its to teach you something great about yourself.

Look at people who have the emotional support of others, do they seem better off than you? They are probably worse off.

Its hard to love something that isn't real. and by that i mean your human facade. Learn to love your divinity and you will find out that life is worth living. We are here to help each other and thats all.

You can do something that can make your life worth while you know. Something really great.

You can help us heal the earth. That is enough to keep living on. You aren't the only one in pain. The whole world is in pain.

To help you have to use your free will to ask for intervention. This also helps to heal your own self.

---

It took me a long time to be able to read those messages from you all...I had a really dark and strange episode where I felt so alone. Thank you for your light! To you athenegodess, thank you for your advice!

Without going much into details I am at a much better place. I've been transfusing all my pain and sadness into my art. I've been volunteering, I've been actively using the LOA to stay within a positive mindset while allowing me to feel sadness and "negative" emotions as they are necessary too; they point to which areas we can improve.

posted September 10, 2014 09:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by soren:
Keep going, good things are ahead

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posted September 10, 2014 09:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tphoenix5:
Hi!

This is a harder solar return for a happy Leo. Lots of earth in this chart. Earth is wonderful and we need it to grow things but the problem is it can weight us down. As much as I love Virgo, it can analyze anything to the point that even the thing it is analyzing wants to up and off the planet. though I am a scorpio I have 3 major planets in virgo. It keeps me grounded but boy can they be a downer sometimes.

Uranus will soon enter the 8th house of this solar return and that will get you to feeling better again. There are good times ahead. You are a leo and dont ever forget that. You make the room light up just by entering it. As the sun rules your planet. How great is that. It is hard when rain comes to fire because the fire has a hard time coming back to light. It is .... So... there are no words when the rain comes... none that I can think but you have my love and support. I can send you all the good vibes I can muster. There are many, many good days ahead.

Tbird

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posted September 10, 2014 09:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I see why you feel this way. Transiting Pluto and your SR Pluto is opposite Jupiter in the 2nd house. This house represents your sense of self-worth. With this opposition, you may find it hard to keep an optimistic outlook because of all the drastic changes that are happening in your life right now. Natal Saturn opposite Jupiter can cause pessimism. Chiron being in your natal 2nd house adds up to this. All your life, you've been feeling worthless although it doesn't seem like it.

As for your SR, Uranus in the 11th house indicates some instability and sudden changes in terms of friendships. Chiron in the 11th adds pain to your friendships. Moon in the 12th in an intercepted sign could denote that your true feelings this year will be kept hidden and misunderstood by others in the outside world. But since it's exalted in an earth sign, you will find ways to keep it together and make it through this year. You will find contacts and romance this year through the local neighborhood. Relationships are meant to be of a superficial nature for you this year. There will be a lack of depth in it since Venus is in the 3rd house. You will possibly have many romantic encounters. As for your career, you may find it hard to exert yourself this year as Neptune will be in your 10th house opposing your natal Mars. But not to worry, though. Your SR Saturn and Mars are in your 6th house. This gives you the drive and stability to work hard whether it be maintaining your health or in the workplace. Your ego (the Sun) is still in your 4th house and is tied to your family and home life. Your way of thinking is in line with this.

All I can say is that if your family can't accept you for who you are and if you find that you are constantly trying to wear a mask just to impress them, then stop. It's not up to them to tell you who you are and who you become. Yes, they are your family, but your life is yours. It's either you keep trying to make them happy but yourself or get them completely disappointed in you, but you being happy with yourself. It's really up to you to make that change in your life. If you want change, you'd have to work on it. Stop thinking so negatively as this will only attract negative energies into your life. If you start being optimistic about things, you will enable yourself to act on things that will ultimately bring good to your life. So get up and be that amazing lioness you are. Just like tphoenix5 said, we Leos light up everything. Stay strong. You'll get through this

---

I cannot thank you enough for this reading and your insights. I have made a conscious choice to think only positively since my meltdown, and though weird and not so great things have happened (I lost my job and essentially was betrayed by my old workmates...) I realized that it is for the best. I deserve good things to happen to me, I deserve to work in an environment where honesty and intergrity are important values. I trust that this year will bring me challenges that ultimately will shape me to become a better, more evolved and loving person.

posted September 10, 2014 09:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by FairyDust75:
Life is a valuable gift. Please don't throw it away. No matter how hard things may seem now they can always get better. Please seek some help and talk to someone you trust. Death is not the answer. And think of those you would leave behind in your absence that would grieve you.

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posted September 10, 2014 09:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by filleaspirant:
I can only tell you to hang in there. I've been in your place once, thinking everything I did was for nothing and that I would never be able to come out of the hole I was in, but I did. It took some years and therapy to get me where I am today, but I don't regret choosing to live. My life isn't awesome yet (fingers crossed it will be one day!) but I'm excited about the things I have to look forward to.

Make plans for the future. Talk to people. If you don't have anyone to talk to, go to a religious temple and ask for guidance, they most likely won't turn away if they see you are in pain. Tell someone about the thoughts you have in your mind. Share your pain. You are not alone. [b]YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And it does get better, eventually. You just need to power through this.

A big, warm and squishy hug![/B]

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posted September 10, 2014 09:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by manques:
Happy birthday and pls don't give up!!!

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posted September 11, 2014 10:52 AM            

Fire - The Sun energizes us and it's important that we get enough during the summer to last us through the winter cold/dark season.