posted December 29, 2014 06:47 AM            

I cancelled my trip (actually my coughing has also gotten worse, well it would be okay until wednesday, but still not feeling all that great).

Was getting as daily spread: clover - tower - coffin (which seems to be apt for a cancellation day. lol)

Anyway since this cut the day in two, I was also asking about the rest of my day from now on

Bouquet - Scythe - key

But anyway I disgress, actually I was curious and pulled some cards as to how Mr Sag (and M of course) will experience that new years eve (performance and celebration I suppose) and I pulled:

Key - Coffin - house

It just struck me that the coffin and the house are still there in the spread for that evening/ night, even though I took myself out of the equation.
lol

posted December 29, 2014 07:29 AM            

I was getting my angels therapy deck out for you and cleared it. Haven`t used it in years I think.

Anyway when I closed my eyes and focused on you, I had an image arise (this happens sometimes when I am reading, I never know what it means or if it is of importance, but I share it anyway).

In that image I was seeing a very serene landscape, a river with very blue water flowing through, and at the sie of the river was an old tree standing with many beautiful green leaves, and a girl or young woman, was standing between tree and river, though I couldnīt see her clearly, but she was wearing a lightblue dress, spreading her hands as if she was giving her energy directly from her heart.

I have no clue what to make of that image, just shared it. While that arose, a card flipped out of the deck:

POWER ANIMAL
(the funny thing is it portrays a woman on a white horse and she is wearing a lightblue dress. And I most certainly did not remember how my cards looked)

So the message here is:
Your animal spirit guide is a guardian to you and is helping you with this situation.

Do you know which is your power animal?
If not, maybe meditate on it, let her or him come to you.

I did pull two more cards as advice

BASE CHAKRA
Choose only positive thoughts, as your words determine your outcome.

SHIELD YOURSELF
Protect yourself from harsh or fear-based energies by envisioning a cocoon of healing light surrounding you.

posted December 29, 2014 07:37 AM            

For your question I got:

Fishes - Ring - Snake

posted December 29, 2014 07:49 AM            

Very interesting your deck... lol...

For the image, I always loved to paint young women with light blue dresses... and animal power? I once did a relax time and focus on the music... I felt a horse and an eagle... 2 animals!! lol... And I love horses. I never mounted one, but is my childhood wanting

posted December 29, 2014 08:25 AM            

"I think he thinks about you in a very commit way, as someone true to the feelings.."
That is good. I try to be very true to myself and authentic. Even though my Venus in capricorn is sighing in indignation about how I can do such an inappropriate thing as to post on his facebook account, when we do not know each other THAT well, and there is no clearly defined category for whatever that strange almost-aquaitanceship is, but it feels like being myself. That IS the true me. The me that does not want to think so long about function and form and how appropriate something is, but just blurting out what is going through her head and have fun with it. Just having a bit of fun, that`s all, folks!
Well I am a little too serious for just having fun, but it is also within me. Not just the Cappy Venus but also the Sag.

"Free, a little wild and her own owner (ok bad english here) and a great spirit. "
that is how I would love to see mysaelf! Well I feel like it inside on very very good days, and in relation to him, if I donīt turn mute and overthink everything, it seems like it is so easy to just be that person I feel I am inside.
And if he sees me this way, good.
Cause I am a real price. lol

"Fishes again is hitting my head for the soulmate theme..."
LOL I was just asking about how he liked my comment, nothing soulmate oriented here.

it is also a weird feeling, as through that advents calendar game (which I did not win once btw) I was sort of lured there every morning to post something, but many others did so, too, and of course he was posting something every morning.
And slowly, sneakingly I got used to it. I did not quite notice it at first, only when it was 24th december and the game was over.

However he seems to have gotten used to daily posts himself, as on the morning of the 25th december he was back to facebook again, which struck me weird, as in Germany christmas is being celebrated on the 24th december (with presents and family and dinner and stuff) and he was posting a NOVEL just after midnight of that day.
He usually keeps it short, but this time a real novel. And posting christmas pictures from himself at a theatre (well I guess a real performer does not celebrate at home with his family but near to a stage. lol).
And also inviting people to make song suggestions for the next concert (I did. I mean the worst thing that happens is that he won`t be singing the song I suggested, though it might be a bit low, as it is a song for baritone, not fro tenor - but I LOVE the song, when I first heard it it felt like a message from my Higher Self to myself and it set me on the search for the girl I had buried inside for such a long time. So it owuld be nice if he liked the song enough to try to sing it).

Anyway, he must have been really glued to his facebook on that christmas night, cause right after I had posted my reply (along with good wishes of course and some appreciative words about the calendar game), he had already "liked" my comment, and that was at least an hour after he published his novellike post.

I just tell this because, well I have Jupiter in 3rd house and Mercury in Sagittarius, I talk talk talk talk all the time (except to him it seems), but it just seems like he has gotten used to that daily posting, too.
For the last days he posted everyday how long it took him to drive from A to B. LOL

Well he has Mercury in Sagittarius, too.

so random postings are bound to happen.

"but it isn't necessary to be in a love relationship with them..."
There are some, and there are others.
As of now, well, all I know is that it feels good to have him in my life (occasionally at least), I feel somehow closer to myself, and everything feels lighter, it is fun, it is something headspinning in how he seems to pay attention to me, which is something thta I can`t wrap my head around, and at the same time it is of course totally flattering to me.

But it is innocent. Really. Completely. Well almost. But he`s just playing around. Maybe he feels a little, I donīt know, intrigued by me, curious, maybe even a tiny little attracted.

But that is harmless. I am just one of the crowd, though I have the tendency to stick out from crowds, as I am usually my own crowd, and do not hesitate to show up on my own on concerts.
A strange mixture of utter shyness and independence. I am a complicated mix I suppose.
I mean I never ever even wait for him to talk to him after a show to ask for an autograph or a photo (cause seriously? What would I do with that?)

So everything is innocent, harmless, nonchalant, I am possibly not even a real fan (you know, the whole fan-thingies are not my style - I once or twice complimented him on very specific things though, and somehow what I say or how I phrase things must be unusual, at least he reacted so extra attentive. Whenever we actually talked, I felt so much on display, like a laserbeam was directed on me and every word I said. it made me nervous. lol Well nowadays I am literally hit by a spotlight now and then on his concerts as it seems, often on his very own demand to "let me see my audience". Yeah, sure, his audience is just me, right? )

I try to melt with the dark and he puts a spotlight on me. LOL

But I know I need this and i can live up to the challenge, and that is what he has always been doing challenged me to go out of my comfortzone, a little.

(my comfort zone is quite narrow when it comes to other people though).

But yeah as I said, harmless little fun.

I am babbling sorry, just wrote what rushed through my head.

posted December 29, 2014 08:51 AM            

Strange thing, I felt like this with a person, but this person is now far away from my reach...

But your story is facinating!!! Maybe one day, you and him can make a perfect match? I learned this year that nothing is impossible.

Mercury in Sag may have a lot on the mind going on hum? I have mine in Scorpio in the 12th... things come from no where! Yesterday night I had a very hard time to settle down to sleep (images, memories, phrases and even how do I get a paint to get X result!!!)

posted December 29, 2014 10:29 AM            

I am just fascinated about this sort of connection with him. I am realistic about it, but actually it seems I was overly underestimating my impact, too. lol

I remember when I first met him, he just felt like family, like in the very-distant-cousin-that-you-might-develop-a-crush-for kind of family.

Though at the same time I was also taken aback, surprised, totally unable to cope with how, despite much younger and prettier girls being around, his eyes zoomed in on me instantly.

Well that has been a long time ago, but I guess some things just donīt change.

Maybe he is going to be far away from me, too, one day, farther even, but actually I have been waiting for that to happen for the recent years; instead of fading into the distance, the distance seems to melt, little by little. I guess we are not finished yet. lol

I tried to analyze that connection, my reactions, what is happening, how there was this strong Kundalini-reaction (luckily later when i was trying to sleep, and make him SHUT UP in the back of my mind. Sometimes after we actually met and talked to each other, I can hear him literally in my mind, fragments of words, whispers only. It is a little weird. Must be some kind of loop in my brain).

Some sort of metaphysical-physical-instinctual thing happening. We also seem to have very different ideas about distance zones to people you just met! Or do not know so well.
Okay, mine tends to be on the widish side anyway, but those occasions we talked, I got the feeling he was literally trying to crawl into me. Of course he didn`t, but really, if we get into each other`s proximity, he somehow ends up in my personal distance zone, almost breaching the intimate distance zone (yeah I actually looked it up ).
I suppose men and especially actors just have different ideas about the appropriate level of proximity to almost-strangers. lol
Last time we talked he actually came so close, that if I had made just half a step forwards we would have embraced or both tripping and lost balance. Of course I did NOT make this half step forwards. However, unlike the very first time we met, I did not make a step backwards either.
If he can cope with this level of proximity, I suppose I can do, too.

However, for me it is also fascinating to observe how I myself evolve as a person, and I mean especially in social context, interrelational. And he has quite something to do with it.
So I am just feeling grateful for him having touched my life and sort of reflected back to me how awesome I really am.
Despite our differences there is something almost mirrorlike going on. Like I can see a side of me through him, or in the way he looks at me, that I had not seen before, or not believed that she still existed.
And I am working now on the "going-mute" factor.

" Maybe one day, you and him can make a perfect match? "
Who knows?
Or maybe we would be just a disaster waiting to happen!
Noone cvan know, and maybe it is not improtant at this point.

"I learned this year that nothing is impossible."
What do you mean? What impossible dream became the art of the possible? (sorry, musical-theatre-references)

Well for me this was a very pivotal year, in many many respects, but one certainly was this moment when he was on stage, and focusing his gaze on me for 7 seconds or so, well as long as it takes to sing the lines: "This vision who was not quite real."
And that is a darn long time from stage to audience.
But it was the expression in his eyes, that totally shocked me.
There are just a few moments that feel like an epiphany, but this felt like one.
Well of course I might have been delusional, and believe me I am telling me that pretty much everyday, but in this instance it was followed by him sitting on a chair on stage, just looking into my direction and forgetting to sing the chorus to someone else`s song. He simply forgot.
Leading into him messing up his lines in the song following, and peaking in this moment of a friend reading aloud what he had noting on his notepad (a habit we seem to share, just I am always scribbling into my notebook to get things out of my head, he uses the electronic version), any way so reading this comment about me driving him crazy, to the point he was messing up his lines (as he did).

Yeah, could still be all part of the game or show, I know, but nevertheless, that was a thoughtworthy night for me, and actually coming home I was super angry, instead of feeling flattered somehow, I was feeling angry, how he could force me to adjust my thinking again, pushing me to realize that maybe I was not alone in this, that maybe, even though now it is too late, there had been a chance, somehow, somewhen, and I missed it.

Well I calmed down after that, telling myself that I still could be delusional, and it was just a coincidence and did not mean a thing and even if it did, he would go on ignoring me from now on.

Good reasonable thinking.... until the concert 2 months after that he stepped off his stage, marched through the crowd (had to walk quite far as I had intended to be invisible that night. lol), held this damned micro into my face - again- and asked for my name.
And after that pretty much just staying around at the table I was sitting at. Well he was then mainly talking to my seating neighbour, but he chose to keep on standing right behind-beside me again, and actually would always come running back to that table during the show.
It was weird - even for him.

And I start wondering when does it become ridiculously delusional to still believe I am delusional, thinking I got his attention?

Well, yeah, the interaction sort of changed I think. lol

"Mercury in Sag may have a lot on the mind going on hum?"§
Mind-leaps. a lot of.
Usually we get blank faces because people can`t follow our leaping mind, we sort of forget to mention that we changed subject mentally. LOL