posted April 27, 2015 12:41 AM            

Everything feels heavy. The world feels like an impossible burden. Everywhere I look, people are acting ugly, and terrible, and sad. I try to have a laugh, and something distracts me that is upsetting. I watched an interview with one of my favourite script writers today, something I love to do, which calms me, and all I could pick up on was how bitter, and jaded, and sad he was. I accidentally clicked on another link, and it was some podcast of an older comedian going on a spiel about how there is nothing good left, and life is shite, blah blah, and not in a funny way. It was SAD. Im gonna lose it with all this negativity bombarding me!

Should be noted I was born and raised in Baltimore, and watching all this unfold in my home is obviously contributing. The natural disasters are heart wrenching. But it really just kicked me in the butt today, and the feeling itself is something else I cant put my finger on. A heavy sadness, and mostly -- a sense of doom. And worse, I feel utterly unprotected from it. This feeling is poignant. Specific.

It isnt that Im afraid, per se. I believe strongly in 'this too shall pass' and in learning from EVERYTHING. Its mostly curiosity that's got me asking ... what is it?!? Feel free to wildly speculate/get personal.

Would love to know if anyone else is feeling this way, as well.