|
Author
|
Topic: jealousy issues
|
blindpainter
Knowflake Posts: 332
From:
Registered: Apr 2013
|
posted July 01, 2015 01:29 PM
  
so i have discovered that in relationship mainly romantic relationships, i can be veeery jealous and possesive...this causes a lot of stress and strain on mcurrent relationship...i dont know how to overcome my jelousy and trust issues. i almost always feel like my bf is up to something or lying to me. when he is on his phone or laptop im worried that hes talking to other women. i have made progress but i still hate hearing about him interacting with women....almost a year ago i noticed on a credit report some strang charges turns out they were for som webcam site where ***** put on a show for "tokens" i was so disgusted and ****** off and it completly destroyed my trust for him but both of us have worked to gain back that trust and we are getting there. i mean i couldnt even tell hed been lying to me and he wont give the truth unless i have some concrete evidence...im just soooo worried and filled with anxiety that he will cheat on me... i dont want your personal oppinion on my reaction to the web cam thing mkay?
but how can i rebuild trust with him and more importantly how do i stop being soooo jealous and possesive? i mean i basically feel every woman is a threat...im especially worried about this one lady at his work because she has stolen peoples boyfriends in the past and i honestly dont trust her. please dont be too harsh i am trying to make improvements. a relationship reading would be wonderful, i would love to hear how all of you handle jealoysy, possesiveness and trust issues.
thanks guys  please dont quote i will be editing this out. excuse my spelling! IP: Logged |
Orange
Knowflake Posts: 2360
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009
|
posted July 01, 2015 01:51 PM
are you like that with past boyfriends or mostly he evokes that feeling of jealousy in you?oh please post the synastry chart between you two, I am curious to see that! IP: Logged |
Ceridwen
Moderator Posts: 20129
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted July 01, 2015 01:58 PM
Hmm, to me that sounds like there are personal issues at play (unless there is a reason in the past for these doubts).
Those feelings of insecurity need to be addressed and healed. Of course it might happen that someone cheats for what reason ever, it cannot be completely excluded, but no amoutn of doubting or control before will be able to prevent that.
If it happens there will be a reason for that. But I think it is important to feel for anyone that they are worthy of that relationship and being treated well, and that, if it should not work out, the world will not end, but despite some pain they will be able to move on on their own.
Extreme feelings of jealousy often have to do with a too strong emotional dependency on someone, like thinking life cannot go on withhout that person (it does though) mixed with feelings of personal insecurity (why would that person choose me?).
Of course there may be other reasons, if the person has a history of cheating I would be extremely cautious too.
IP: Logged |
blindpainter
Knowflake Posts: 332
From:
Registered: Apr 2013
|
posted July 02, 2015 10:11 AM
hi! thanks for responding!im on my way out right now but i will answer more in depth later  i will try to post our synastry this evening too. IP: Logged |
blindpainter
Knowflake Posts: 332
From:
Registered: Apr 2013
|
posted July 03, 2015 12:11 PM
this is my firs and i really hope only relationship.i dont not let him talk to women i just get jealous hearing about them. heres our synastry im on the inside i think.
 IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 966
From: London, UK with myself
Registered: Feb 2014
|
posted July 03, 2015 12:20 PM
Hmmm, you mentioned that you don't let him talk to other women. That could get complicated down the line blindpainter. He might well start to feel stifled if he thinks you're restricting who he talks to. He'll think you're insecure. Just a friendly warning...if you want this to be your only relationship ever. IP: Logged |
blindpainter
Knowflake Posts: 332
From:
Registered: Apr 2013
|
posted July 03, 2015 12:26 PM
i agree with what youre saying, i know i have insecuraties and im begining to work on that with my counselor. he has not cheated in the past but that webcam thing was a real blow to me...mind you that happened when we were in a really baaad living situation due to other people in the house. i am emotionally dependant on him due to health issues of mine, hes my rock and always comes to save me if i need it, because of my health its hard not to be dependant on him. i was not treated well as a kid i was called countless names even by my parents, calling me stupid, idiot, worthless and fat (when i wasnt even fat) growing up with that family was horrible but i am working on this with my counselor...its hard to feel worthy when my entire life before i met him i was treated like garbage by nearly everyone. IP: Logged |
blindpainter
Knowflake Posts: 332
From:
Registered: Apr 2013
|
posted July 03, 2015 12:35 PM
i dont control who he talks to. i get jealous when i hear about him interacting with other woman, but i dont tell him who he can and cannot talk with.IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 966
From: London, UK with myself
Registered: Feb 2014
|
posted July 03, 2015 01:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by blindpainter:
i dont control who he talks to. i get jealous when i hear about him interacting with other woman, but i dont tell him who he can and cannot talk with.
Oh sorry, I misread what you said (bad contact lenses I'm wearing!) Sorry to hear about your past blindpainter.
Hmm I think the webcam thing would probably bother me too. I was in a long distance relationship with someone who said he did watch porn because of the long gaps between my visits to him, but I didn't mind that. Men have needs I guess. But to webcam, it's getting a bit personal then. Still, men will often just perceive other women as sexual objects if she's willing to reveal everything to them! It's just sexual curiosity, it's not as though he ever intended to meet them in person. Just relax and be yourself. He's with you because he likes and cares for you, obviously. IP: Logged |
SDragon
Moderator Posts: 462
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012
|
posted July 04, 2015 09:03 PM
From just looking at the synastry chart, I like it! Decent similarities, nice passionate aspects (both tense and easy). Lots of growth potential.Based on the synastry and where his Pluto is, it basically means you have your own Pluto with the same aspects. You may need to look at your Venus-Pluto and Mars-Pluto aspects. If you haven't worked on them yourself, you may be now forced to work on them because his own Pluto highlights those aspects even more. Kind of like a double whammy 'HEY! PAY ATTENTION!'. Same thing with your Venus opp Saturn. Could be insecurity issues there too. 'Know thyself', learn about your own aspects and see where your issues are separate from the relationship. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
